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Across the Fence:  What's a Farmgirl to do?  |
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harmonyfarm
True Blue Farmgirl
785 Posts
Debbie
Southeastern
Ohio
USA
785 Posts |
 Posted - Dec 09 2008 : 4:11:56 PM
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I was offered a full time job today where I now work part time only. It is at a local university. By taking this job, my 16 year old son can go to college for free, after he graduates in a year and a half. I'll have full medical and retirement.etc.etc.etc. The extra money will help pay our farm off faster and finally get us totally out of debt. Here's the problem....With the commute, I won't have any time to sew or garden or do any of the other things I love doing so much if I take this job. No way can I count on the family to pick up the slack in the chores I have to do. All I ever wanted to do was stay on the farm and take care of the family and critters and flowers and veggies and enjoy all the homesteading crafts that I do and teach homesteading classes...do you swap happiness for money in this economy? I'm anxious to hear what ya all think....Debbie
"If you can't find the time to do it right...how will you find the time to do it over" |
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catscharm74
True Blue Farmgirl
4687 Posts
Heather
Texas
USA
4687 Posts |
Posted - Dec 09 2008 : 4:15:42 PM
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Debbie- I would try to find some quiet time and just listen to your heart. Sounds hokey but it works. Could you work until your son graduates and then re-assess from there? Make a list of what has to happen each day on the farm and at work and see if you can work things out. (((HUGS)))
Maybe you could start some sort of craft group that meets once a week, to guarantee you at least get some crafting/sewing in???
Heather
Yee-Haw, I am a cowgirl!!!
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Firemama
True Blue Farmgirl
1731 Posts
Amanda
Medical Lake
WA
USA
1731 Posts |
Posted - Dec 09 2008 : 4:15:52 PM
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Debbie I dont know thats a tough one.On one hand the moneywould be GREAT but your UNhappiness should matter too. Think it through, but I feel like your heart knows what it wants. Hang in there ; )
Mama to 2
FarmGirl# 20
People can only make you feel inferior with your permission, and you dont have my permission......
Dont let the chain of love end with you.....
http://myfarmdreams.blogspot.com/
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Farmtopia
True Blue Farmgirl
1465 Posts
Zan
New York
New York
USA
1465 Posts |
Posted - Dec 09 2008 : 4:18:38 PM
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Hmmm...Debbie, that's a real toughie. Somewhere along the line, many people have to pick one or another. The very few lucky of us can live a dream life AND make money doing it. It sounds like a lot of things might be taken care of by getting this job. You would be helping your family immensely by getting this job...SO...why not have them help you? If you really want this job, but you also feel that you need time, I think maybe call a family meeting and say...you are sacrificing the life you are accustomed to in order that your son gets free college and the farm is secure, but you need them to pitch in in order that you stay sane and are able to do the things you love....but it will only work if they comply (hmm...the phrase "If Momma Ain't Happy, then Nobody's Happy" comes to mind)...see what they say.
My thought is, right now it's probably better to be employed, but you also shouldn't be miserable doing it....hope that helps!
~*~Dream all you dreamers~*~
View my work:
www.bigtownfarmer.com
And *NEW* Blogs:
Life: www.wildatheartfarm.blogspot.com
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herbals: www.wildatheartherbals.blogspot.com |
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junkjunkie
True Blue Farmgirl
1306 Posts
Judy
Lawrenceville
NJ
USA
1306 Posts |
Posted - Dec 09 2008 : 4:20:11 PM
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It depends on how your financial situation is. If, at this time, you really need the money because of this economy crunch right now, maybe it would be good for you to make the sacrifice, at least for a while, for the extra money to help you get in a better financial place. When you get back on your feet, then maybe you can go back to doing the things you love. It all depends. Not really a concrete answer to your question..... sorry.
"To have life in focus, we must have death in our field of vision." Benedictine monk John Main |
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harmonyfarm
True Blue Farmgirl
785 Posts
Debbie
Southeastern
Ohio
USA
785 Posts |
Posted - Dec 09 2008 : 4:21:19 PM
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My son is only a Junior in high school. I'd have to work full time for a year and a half until he graduates from high school and then four more years until he graduates from college. that's a 5 & 1/2 year commitment. If I take this job, I can't go back to my old job if the stress is too much...ugh...this is making me crazy!
"If you can't find the time to do it right...how will you find the time to do it over" |
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K-Falls Farmgirl
Chapter Leader
2096 Posts
Cheryl
Klamath Falls
Oregon
USA
2096 Posts |
Posted - Dec 09 2008 : 4:24:37 PM
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Wow... First thought was,"does your son show interest going to that university or grades to meet eligibility? If so, has he talked about college choices & have you already started a college fund. My grandson just applied to two universities. He could attend one closer to home right now.. but has chosen one a bit further because they offer a better math program. He is a Senior this year and has a great grade point to get him into several colleges or university. My daughter decided he should chose where he will attend. He willprobably be going 60 miles from home & will need to live in a dorm. It was not her choice where he decided to go. They have college $$ set aside, but he is 18. Good Luck... College is a choice I think the student needs lots of options for and strict guidence in making that choice.
http://www.k-fallsfarmgirl.blogspot.com/
Cheryl #309
Farm girl sister
Enjoy the little things in life....someday you'll look back and realize they were the big things. |
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Alee
True Blue Farmgirl
22941 Posts
Alee
Worland
Wy
USA
22941 Posts |
Posted - Dec 09 2008 : 4:28:27 PM
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Debbie-
I agree- that is a real toughie. However, two things stand out to me. 1) You son could enter his adult life with little to no debt which is huge. I will be facing about $30,000 in debt by the time I graduate. My whole first year of paychecks will have to go to paying debt off. Luckily I have a husband who can support us while I devote that much of my earnings to paying debt- but not everyone is that lucky.
2) In this economy, having your land owned by you and not the bank would be huge!
I think that if you do decide to do this, you need to do what Zan mentioned- Call a family meeting and let them know you aren't the maid and if they want you to be- they have to pay you $10 an hour! :D
What really worked for my family when I was growing up and both of my parents had jobs was to have a clearly defined chore list that held everyone accountable for certain tasks. It can be rotated so people don't get bored, but without accountability, the majority probably won't help.
I hope you find what works for your family! *hugs*
Alee
Farmgirl Sister #8
www.awarmheart.com
Please come visit Nora and me on our blog: www.farmgirlalee.blogspot.com
Put your pin on the farmgirl map! www.farmgirlmap.blogspot.com |
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K-Falls Farmgirl
Chapter Leader
2096 Posts
Cheryl
Klamath Falls
Oregon
USA
2096 Posts |
Posted - Dec 09 2008 : 4:29:01 PM
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It sounds like you really like your job and the way things are right now doing Your own things.. As a parent you sacrifice many things while they grow up.. maybe it is time for you to let go and be what you want. Earn some extra $$ doing sewing or crafts from home ..keep your part time job...Good luck sista.
http://www.k-fallsfarmgirl.blogspot.com/
Cheryl #309
Farm girl sister
Enjoy the little things in life....someday you'll look back and realize they were the big things. |
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rabbithorns
True Blue Farmgirl
544 Posts
Allison
Fort Scott
KS
USA
544 Posts |
Posted - Dec 09 2008 : 5:03:49 PM
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That sounds like an impossible choice - rock and a hard place-type.
The family meeting sounds like a really good way to open up the possibilities for the whole family to help each other. When I worked full-time, my kids and my husband did chores and when I was home full-time, they did almost none, but that was because I was there to do those jobs. It just made sense to everyone - which is funny because they preferred to be poor if it meant having me home and them not doing chores! 
I think if the family pitched in to make it possible for everyone to get something of what they wanted, it would seem like less that you taking time from them to do your crafts and gardening on weekends and evenings than the reality that everyone's pitching in to make each other's lives more full and satisfying.
Hope it works out well for all of you.
http://www.rabbithorns.etsy.com & www.wayofthewife.blogspot.com |
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Mother Hen
True Blue Farmgirl
604 Posts
Cindy
Peck
ID
USA
604 Posts |
Posted - Dec 09 2008 : 11:35:27 PM
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Debbie, I'm in total agreement with the others, this doesn't just affect you, it affects the entire family and everyone needs to make adjustments to make it work. If no one else in the family is willing to sacrifice then why should they expect you to?
I agree that the 100% college paid thing, and paying off the farm--out from under debt, are really big incentives, this is a time for your family to readdress where you ALL want to be and how best to go about it.
Family is a team where no one can do what they want all the time.
God Bless you and I'll pray for you and your family.
I will bless the Lord at all times: his praise shall continually be in my mouth. Psalms 34:1 |
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homemom
True Blue Farmgirl
1593 Posts
Ruth
Warwick
RI
USA
1593 Posts |
Posted - Dec 10 2008 : 07:11:16 AM
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I agree that this is a very difficult decision. I can't imagine your struggle right now. There are some wonderful suggestions here already. It seems like this could be a benefit to your whole family and the whole family needs to help you if you make this commitment. They need to step in so that the whole burden is not on you.
Ruth
Living the farm life in my heart.
http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/Ruth
http://farmgirlinmyheart.blogspot.com/ |
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harmonyfarm
True Blue Farmgirl
785 Posts
Debbie
Southeastern
Ohio
USA
785 Posts |
Posted - Dec 10 2008 : 07:18:45 AM
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Went to bed at 2:00 am last night...couldn't sleep thinking about that job. I am thinking that $1,800.00 extra dollars a month is just to much to pass up. We have no car payments, no credit cards, and the only bills we have will never go away as long as we want a phone, electric etc. We only owe $25,000.00 on our farm and it is ours...finally! that job could truly be the LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL!
I couldn't help but think about what Alee said about our son not going into adulthood with a huge debt to pay. The kid is 10 years younger than his siblings (they've all left the nest) but I think I owe it to him for all the times he has made me laugh....
Hubby says he has to work so much to pay the bills and that is why projects and farm chores and expansion aren't moving ahead like we planned (a long time ago). So, maybe I could give him a break. We're not getting any younger (57 & 52) and he could stay here and work.
I really appreciate all the thoughts you've all shared! I'll keep ya posted....Luv, Debbie
"If you can't find the time to do it right...how will you find the time to do it over" |
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K-Falls Farmgirl
Chapter Leader
2096 Posts
Cheryl
Klamath Falls
Oregon
USA
2096 Posts |
Posted - Dec 10 2008 : 07:26:28 AM
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I am sure you will make the right decision for you and your family. ((hugs))
http://www.k-fallsfarmgirl.blogspot.com/
Cheryl #309
Farm girl sister
Enjoy the little things in life....someday you'll look back and realize they were the big things. |
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vermont v
True Blue Farmgirl
194 Posts
Victoria
Chester
Vermont
USA
194 Posts |
Posted - Dec 10 2008 : 4:39:44 PM
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Wow! a paid college education is huge!!! I have a friend right now whose daughter is going to have to drop out of college because she can't afford it in this economy. If you decide that this is right for you and your family it could be a great blessing.Also being debt free is a good way to get peace of mind. |
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harmonyfarm
True Blue Farmgirl
785 Posts
Debbie
Southeastern
Ohio
USA
785 Posts |
Posted - Dec 10 2008 : 7:34:33 PM
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I've done some serious soul searching these past few days and I have come to the conclusion that I cannot pass up this offer. It might not come my way again....so Friday when I go into work, I'm going to ask them when I can start....I hope for my own sanity, I can put my creativity and my garden, crafts and all that stuff on the back burner for a while.
Thank you to all who responded...keep me (us) in your thoughts...
Debbie
"If you can't find the time to do it right...how will you find the time to do it over" |
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Alee
True Blue Farmgirl
22941 Posts
Alee
Worland
Wy
USA
22941 Posts |
Posted - Dec 10 2008 : 8:56:50 PM
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Debbie- if by sharing the load with your husband, perhaps you won't have to put so much of your creativity onto the back burner. I hope it works out for you! If you are able to put 100% of you paycheck towards the mortgage- it would only take a little over 13 months until your farm would be yours free and clear! That would be amazing I know! Doug and I are drooling over trying to figure out a way to get onto our own land instead of renting!
Alee
Farmgirl Sister #8
www.awarmheart.com
Please come visit Nora and me on our blog: www.farmgirlalee.blogspot.com
Put your pin on the farmgirl map! www.farmgirlmap.blogspot.com |
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Lanna
True Blue Farmgirl
330 Posts
Lanna
A little town in Idaho
330 Posts |
Posted - Dec 10 2008 : 10:55:22 PM
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I know I'm late to the party and all, but make sure your income won't bump you up to the next tax bracket or anything. That can very quickly negate your income, as well as work clothes and the commute. :(
But if those things aren't major concerns, yay for an awesome opportunity! And graduating college without debt is pretty darn awesome. Until you marry someone who had to take out student loans (long story, but not completely my hubby's fault).
*****************
Lanna, mama to three little monkeys |
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Across the Fence: What's a Farmgirl to do? |
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What's a Farmgirl to do?
