| Author |
Across the Fence:  I learned something today  |
|
|
dutchy
True Blue Farmgirl
4427 Posts
4427 Posts |
 Posted - Dec 09 2008 : 1:36:21 PM
|
I had a talk to my pastor and his wife this afternoon, along with 2 other ladies from my church/street.
These ladies and I had not been on speaking term for a long time, and way more things happened, which i won't go into here. Some of you might have read it on my blog.
Anyway, it was a talk that was asked for by the pastor and his wife. To get us ladies get along again, as neighbors/church members should.
A lot was said, esp. against me. I was the "instigator" in all of the unkindness etc. etc.
I have said I was sorry if I did/said anything to hurt them. They told me some things I "did" when I just lived here a month. That was NOT true!! Because the people that THIS was about, I didn't even know, never talked to them and never even saw them at that time! SO how can I do/say something that I never even knew about!
But anyway, I apologized. The ladies never apologized for things THEY said and did to ME, but I decided to let it go. I apologized, felt better about ME.
I will start to greet these 2 ladies again and see whether they answer.
IF they do, great. If they don't I have decided (not easy!!) that it is THEIR problem, not mine anymore.
It was not an easy talk at all. Like I said many things were said to me that were just not true, COULD not be true, but so be it.
SO I have learned (try to at least)to let go. It is better for me to do that. I will start the visits to the Psychologist on January 5, and SO hope that will help.
Help deal with my past from when I was a little kid till now. SO many things happened, so much sadness, so much hurt.
And I don't WANT to feel that anymore! I WANT to start living. I want to start being really happy and not pretending to be happy!!
I want to REALLY laugh, instead of just smile with my mouth and not my eyes.
I want to do goofy things with my friends and stay goofy, instead of coming home and start to cry.
Thanks for "listening" 
Hugs from Marian/Dutchy, a farmgirl from the Netherlands :)
My personal blog:
http://just-me-a-dutch-girl.blogspot.com/
Again new creations added, too cute lol. Come and check it out!!
http://princess-of-pink-creations.blogspot.com/
|
|
|
Alee
True Blue Farmgirl
22941 Posts
Alee
Worland
Wy
USA
22941 Posts |
Posted - Dec 09 2008 : 1:42:40 PM
|
Oh Dutchy! That must have been a hard thing for you to go through. It sounds like you have an incredibly strong inner self and also an incredibly loving and generous heart. Sometimes those two things can be a hard combination to have! *hugs* You are a great person!
Alee
Farmgirl Sister #8
www.awarmheart.com
Please come visit Nora and me on our blog: www.farmgirlalee.blogspot.com
Put your pin on the farmgirl map! www.farmgirlmap.blogspot.com |
 |
|
|
homemom
True Blue Farmgirl
1593 Posts
Ruth
Warwick
RI
USA
1593 Posts |
Posted - Dec 09 2008 : 1:48:32 PM
|
Dutchy~I am so sorry that you had to go through this but what you did is best. It will be healing to you even if they choose to continue doing wrong. I hope that their actions will come to light.
Lifting you up as you try to bring healing into your heart from things in the past.
(((HUGS)))
Ruth
Living the farm life in my heart.
http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/Ruth
http://farmgirlinmyheart.blogspot.com/ |
|
|
|
pinkroses
True Blue Farmgirl
2350 Posts
Sheila
Virginia
USA
2350 Posts |
Posted - Dec 09 2008 : 2:47:16 PM
|
Hugs to you Dutchy.
I know how hard it is to be the one that is trying to do right ; and the other people/ person are not doing anything in return.
But , remember what it says.
as far as you are concerned try to get along with everyone
All one can do is try. hugs pinkroses
www.ohkayteagirl2.blogspot.com
http;//www.sheilascreativetouches.blogspot.com |
|
|
|
melanie47601
True Blue Farmgirl
1949 Posts
Melanie
Boonville
IN
USA
1949 Posts |
|
|
catscharm74
True Blue Farmgirl
4687 Posts
Heather
Texas
USA
4687 Posts |
Posted - Dec 09 2008 : 3:39:02 PM
|
Dutchy- that just goes to show who has the bigger heart and doesn't need their ego stroked. I am sorry for your drama but you are a wonderful, strong woman and you deserve to be treated so much better than that. Time will tell and what goes around comes around, you can bank on that!!! (((HUGS)))
Heather
Yee-Haw, I am a cowgirl!!!
|
|
|
|
kristin sherrill
True Blue Farmgirl
11303 Posts
kristin
chickamauga
ga
USA
11303 Posts |
Posted - Dec 09 2008 : 3:57:59 PM
|
Dutchy, I'm glad for you that it's off of YOU now. They will have to deal with THEM. You have done something that a lot of people cannot and will not do, and that's say you're sorry for something you did not do just to make someone else feel better. If they are truly Christian people, the Lord will deal with them in His own way. You've done your part. So now you can get on with your life and not have to think about them. Just wave and say hello and if they don't, forget about it.
Good for you, Dutchy. You ARE the bigger person and I can tell just by the things you say and do here, that you have a wonderful heart full of love and goodness for ALL people.
Hugs, Kris |
|
|
|
K-Falls Farmgirl
Chapter Leader
2096 Posts
Cheryl
Klamath Falls
Oregon
USA
2096 Posts |
Posted - Dec 09 2008 : 4:45:07 PM
|
Dutchy.. (((hugs)) Sometimes its the hardest first step towards a long journey but one day at a time and opening your heart was the thing to do.. Bless you...
http://www.k-fallsfarmgirl.blogspot.com/
Cheryl #309
Farm girl sister
Enjoy the little things in life....someday you'll look back and realize they were the big things. |
|
|
|
rabbithorns
True Blue Farmgirl
544 Posts
Allison
Fort Scott
KS
USA
544 Posts |
Posted - Dec 09 2008 : 5:11:37 PM
|
You are so brave to meet with such unkindness and blame and to take it with such graciousness! That really shows your faith in truth and just being good no matter what. Earthly benefits just don't always match up to the ultimate benefits. You've done a great good that shows a strong spirit.
Congratulations! Allison
http://www.rabbithorns.etsy.com & www.wayofthewife.blogspot.com |
|
|
|
simplyflowers
True Blue Farmgirl
489 Posts
Jamie
Locust Grove
Virginia
USA
489 Posts |
Posted - Dec 09 2008 : 5:50:55 PM
|
Oh Dutchy....truely strong....{{{{HUGS}}}}
Jamie :)
"Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work." -- Thomas Edison
Check out my blog!! http://bestcoupleintown.blogspot.com/ |
|
|
|
shepherdgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
1008 Posts
Tracy
California
USA
1008 Posts |
Posted - Dec 09 2008 : 9:38:05 PM
|
The Bible tells us to solve our disputes-- confront the individual(s) (whether WE are at fault, or they are), forgive (or ask for forgiveness), get over it, and move on-- which YOU have done. Like Kris said- those ladies are the ones who will suffer the consequences of their stubborness. Christians ARE some of the most stubborn, Judgemental, easily offended people on the planet! "Walking in Love" is a VERY hard biblical concept for many of us to follow, though I have chosen to obey God's word-- no matter HOW much it hurts to BITE MY OWN TONGUE sometimes!!! NO WAY am I going to stand up before God when MY time comes and have to explain to HIM why I was such a jerk here on Earth!!! (Besides, I like to smile and be nice to "mean" people-- they just don't know how to deal with it!!! Ok, maybe I'll have to explain to God about THAT..... hm....)
Dealing with your past is not an easy road to take either. It's VERY painful, but it's also very soul cleansing-- Though I have to say that the process itself feels like a dirty infected wound that must be scrubbed and scraped and allowed to bleed a bit (or maybe A LOT!)-- but that's when the HEALING begins. Healing can't take place otherwise. I know this to be true. I've been there myself. Once the pain, the hurt, and the anger are replaced by all the cleansing tears, those sorrows and hurts relived for those brief moments, that's when peace finally settles in down deep inside you. That's when you can FINALLY begin to live the life you dream--- and be as SILLY as you wish to be! Trust me, it's a great place to be~ and you won't have to walk that path alone. God will be right there with you. And your farm girl friends will be here cheering you on!! Blessings, hugs and the hope of a peaceful heart to you ~~~ Tracy
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. ~~ George Carlin |
|
|
|
Mother Hen
True Blue Farmgirl
604 Posts
Cindy
Peck
ID
USA
604 Posts |
Posted - Dec 09 2008 : 11:18:55 PM
|
Marian, you were so right to sit down with the pastor/wife and those women. You apologized for offending them if you did and that's great!
I'm not good at chapter and verse, but I remember the jist of passages, and one that often rings in my head is that if we are smited (sp?) then we are to forgive not just 7 times but 7x70. And we are to pray for those who are mean to us, and just continue to be a good disciple. You will be blessed for it. I have always hated when my mother would tell me to be the "bigger person". But you know, when you turn it all over to God then YOU aren't burdened with it anymore. It is so relieving to not have to feel that resentment.
You are very courageous and you will be able to get through your past with flying colors! Just remember to keep praying and turning your troubles over to God, he's happy to take the weight off of you!
God Bless you Marian!!
I will bless the Lord at all times: his praise shall continually be in my mouth. Psalms 34:1 |
|
|
|
Mother Hen
True Blue Farmgirl
604 Posts
Cindy
Peck
ID
USA
604 Posts |
Posted - Dec 09 2008 : 11:20:41 PM
|
Marian, you were so right to sit down with the pastor/wife and those women. You apologized for offending them if you did and that's great!
I'm not good at chapter and verse, but I remember the jist of passages, and one that often rings in my head is that if we are smited (sp?) then we are to forgive not just 7 times but 7x70. And we are to pray for those who are mean to us, and just continue to be a good disciple. You will be blessed for it. I have always hated when my mother would tell me to be the "bigger person". But you know, when you turn it all over to God then YOU aren't burdened with it anymore. It is so relieving to not have to feel that resentment.
You are very courageous and you will be able to get through your past with flying colors! Just remember to keep praying and turning your troubles over to God, he's happy to take the weight off of you!
God Bless you Marian!!
I will bless the Lord at all times: his praise shall continually be in my mouth. Psalms 34:1 |
|
|
|
dutchy
True Blue Farmgirl
4427 Posts
4427 Posts |
Posted - Dec 10 2008 : 12:54:21 AM
|
Thanks gals, for the very wise and kind words here.
Yes I know God is here with me all the way and wants to carry my burden.
I try to give it to Him, but ya know, it is SOO easy to take it all back and try to carry it myself. And that is what I have to learn too: to GIVE it to God and let Him carry it. Because that is what He wants: for me to be a happy and good person.
He died on the Cross for our sins, and just to know and to realize that is just WOW. I should realize that more often.
I am a "new" Christian as of May this year, so learning that too is a long way ahead of me. But I am trying and sometimes I really give it all to Him, and I pray to Him to help me and to give me peace. etc.
And I am getting there, 3 steps forward, 2 back. Slowly but steady.
And believe me, it is NOT easy to just write this all down. What I would like to do is delete all this and just go on. But I realize I can't do it all alone, I need help so that is why I now hit post and go to another thread.
Many hugs and thanks from Marian
Hugs from Marian/Dutchy, a farmgirl from the Netherlands :)
My personal blog:
http://just-me-a-dutch-girl.blogspot.com/
Again new creations added, too cute lol. Come and check it out!!
http://princess-of-pink-creations.blogspot.com/
|
|
|
|
shepherdgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
1008 Posts
Tracy
California
USA
1008 Posts |
Posted - Dec 10 2008 : 01:25:57 AM
|
Good for you Marian! One foot in front of the other; one day at a time. That's all you can do. Putting your burdens in God's hands is like that. The more often you do it, the easier it gets. ~~~ hugs ~~~ Tracy
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. ~~ George Carlin |
|
|
|
Ga Girl
True Blue Farmgirl
2355 Posts
Karen
Meansville
Ga.
USA
2355 Posts |
Posted - Dec 10 2008 : 04:42:32 AM
|
Dutchy, Well the ball is in their corner now you have done your part. I am praying that this meeting with the psychologist will be a break through. You will begin to see happiness shine thru more and more. Blessings, Karen
Create in me a pure heart,O God and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Psalms 51:10 http://farmgirlingastyle.blogspot.com/
www.KKJD1.etsy.com |
|
|
|
Contrary Wife
True Blue Farmgirl
2164 Posts
Teresa Sue
Tekoa
WA
USA
2164 Posts |
Posted - Dec 10 2008 : 05:02:29 AM
|
Marion, just remember you are the only person you can control. They are responsible for themselves and if they choose to keep the unkindness going you have the power to not participate. Hugs
Teresa Sue
Farmgirl Sister #316
MJ's Heirloom Mavens Badgebadger
MJ's Heirloom Mavens Bookclub Coordinator
"Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly." The Dalai Lama |
|
|
| |
Across the Fence: I learned something today |
|
I learned something today
