| Author |
Across the Fence:  I'm in a quandry and need Farmgirl Advice  |
|
|
La Patite Ferme
True Blue Farmgirl
623 Posts
Jenn
CA
USA
623 Posts |
 Posted - Dec 05 2008 : 2:56:00 PM
|
My apologies this is a little long and complicated.
I work for a non-profit youth organization and during our staff meeting this week the director announced that we were going to play Santa to one needy child from each one of our program sites (there are 4 in all), he went on to ask the program staff to idenify one child that we could shop for and then give a food basket to their family for Christmas dinner. After the kids were identified the director asked that each staff member give $20 towards a gift card to a local dept store, for each child, so we could buy clothes and toys and then sign up for the food items we would provide. (that would be $80 for each staff member plus the food item)
Afterwards, he announced the details of the staff party and said there would be a gift exchange and that each gift should be $15-$20.
Now we're at $95-$100
In addition, one of our staff is expecting and her last day and baby shower is 12/19. I already bought her a gift even before there was mention of a party.(spent about $20)
So, that would bring me to about $120+
But, here's my quandry - on a couple of levels -
1) over 1/2 the kids we serve are from low-income or no-income families. I don't think it's appropriate to select just one from each site while ignoring the rest.
2) i suggested that we have a mini open house/holiday party, invite all the families to come and just spend some fun time with their kids and have refreshments. The director didn't like this because it would cost the organization money.
3) speaking of money - all non-profits are behind the gun this year and layoffs are, even for us, a distinct possiblity. So on top of not knowing if we will have a job next payroll he thinks nothing of asking us for money for several different things. Like mindlessly dropping $20's is no big deal.
4) during the meeting I commented on the fact that people may have their own charities or church programs or school donation drives that they give money to and what ever we do here should be voluntary. He disagreed. He felt that we should as "good" employees be willing to participate. DD's school has already collected for the food pantry, they are now collecting for an ophanage in Mexico and a water project in an African village.
5) also during the meeting I asked if these kids' families had been helped with or directed to the county's 211 system, (it's like 411 for all social services available in our county) because I felt the families would be better served by programs that would put a roof over their head and food in the fridge on a long term basis rather than just one days meal. Again I was told NO that's not our job.
6) only full-time staff (not part-time) has been asked to cover all these donations. There are only 5 of us and about 9 part-timers, who are mostly college or HS students living with their parents, so no mortgage, bills, grocery, child, etc expenses.
And lastly, 2 of the families selected have had people try to help in the past, but they're not interested in bettering their situation, no interest in getting or keeping a job, no interest in becoming the kind of parent that could raise their kids. If fact one person told me they are only interested in enough $$ for their beer and cigeretts. One single dad even brags about how he has been able to moouch off so many people to get what he wants without having the bother of a job.
I know this is the season of giving and caring and I do subscribe to that, but this entire situation and the way it has been presented and handled has just hit me the wrong way. I don't think the director has given any consideration that his staff may have their own situations or tight finances, they may have their own way donating during the holidays or they may not believe in doing this at all. I guess it is the presumption that dropping over $100 is no big deal that irks me. And, after hearing about some of the families it bothers me more. I'm happy to help those who are willing to help themselves. I'm not so keen about supporting someone who only wants to sit on their &utt.
I've always given to different causes willingly with a happy heart but in this case it would be a mandate.
So, to make a long story short - I can't decide what to do. But, I know my farmgurls will have some wise words and different perspectives.
Thanks Gurlz,
Jenn
|
|
|
Farmtopia
True Blue Farmgirl
1465 Posts
Zan
New York
New York
USA
1465 Posts |
Posted - Dec 05 2008 : 3:09:51 PM
|
Hmmm...Jenn. This is indeed not necessarily simple. Did you already put out the money for the project? If not, my thought would be to cause too much friction, as you say that the job outlook is precarious for non-profits, including the possibilities of your job. YOU COULD bring up all of these points, but it sounds like the boss(es) didn't listen to you the first time around. Maybe just say that you could not possibly afford to pay any monies because of the economic climate. They COULDN'T fire you for that..that would be discriminatory...I mean, it's NOT a requirement of the job you are doing to pay out of your own pocket, right? Sounds like they can't cover their own expenses through funding and are forcing their employees to take up slack...hmmmm...definitely doesn't sound good on their part.
That's my two cents, good luck in your decision!
~*~Dream all you dreamers~*~
View my work:
www.bigtownfarmer.com
And *NEW* Blogs:
Life: www.wildatheartfarm.blogspot.com
art/dolls: www.wildatheartart.blogspot.com
herbals: www.wildatheartherbals.blogspot.com |
 |
|
|
kristin sherrill
True Blue Farmgirl
11303 Posts
kristin
chickamauga
ga
USA
11303 Posts |
Posted - Dec 05 2008 : 3:27:21 PM
|
Ew, a very sticky situation. I really don't see how he can force anyone to do this. It should be a voluntary thing, especially now when things are so tight for everyone. Not just the needy.
Something to really think about. Good luck, girl. I hope things turn out the right way for you.
Hugs, Kris |
Edited by - kristin sherrill on Dec 06 2008 4:12:18 PM |
|
|
|
Alee
True Blue Farmgirl
22941 Posts
Alee
Worland
Wy
USA
22941 Posts |
|
|
LivingWell4You
True Blue Farmgirl
1411 Posts
Karen
Hillsboro
MO
USA
1411 Posts |
Posted - Dec 05 2008 : 4:06:47 PM
|
Wow, Jenn, That is a hard position to be in. I just re-read your post and a couple of things come to mind. When you were in the meeting, did anyone else support your point of view? If not, it makes me think that maybe the rest of the staff is intimidated by the director - either because of his personality or fear of losing their job or both. Maybe the director felt he couldn't back down from a decision he made while he was in front of the whole staff. Sometimes it works better to go to the boss in private, bring up your concerns at a time when they're not swamped with other things - maybe even make an appointment to talk. I've done that in the past. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't - mostly depends on their personality.
I agree with Zan - it sounds like they're expecting the employees to pick up the slack due to lack of funds. I'm not sure how much more you could accomplish this year by pressing the issue. You could start working toward next year though and write your concerns with ways to address them to give to the director for consideration. AND you could volunteer to be in charge of it next year. I've been on both sides of the supervisor's desk and when people come with solutions for addressing their concerns, it goes a long way to resolving the issue.
Just my two cents worth. Do keep us posted!
God bless -
Karen ~ Chickherder & Farmgirl Sister #311 |
|
|
|
K-Falls Farmgirl
Chapter Leader
2096 Posts
Cheryl
Klamath Falls
Oregon
USA
2096 Posts |
Posted - Dec 05 2008 : 5:55:06 PM
|
oh Man...After working at a "non-profit" company. I learned quickly that the only ones who were not making a profit were the workers. I worked at a shelter for abused women & their children..for 5 years. I agree with your idea to have a simple festive party. refreshments. time together...Have you asked the community for donations? Womens groups, ELks, VFW or United Way? They always helped us provide a great Christmas for these forgotten families. Our Fire Dept donated a lot of toys for our kids and Walmart/sams club donated food. I suggest you ask for community support before spending Your hard earned money. I know its the season for giving..But be real. Stick to your guns. If others want to fold under the pressure. so be it. Good luck. Is it noted which employees fork over funds? If not Don't contribute more than you can afford.
http://www.k-fallsfarmgirl.blogspot.com/
Cheryl #309
Farm girl sister
Enjoy the little things in life....someday you'll look back and realize they were the big things. |
|
|
|
oldfashioned girl
True Blue Farmgirl
2391 Posts
monica
oatman
az
USA
2391 Posts |
Posted - Dec 05 2008 : 6:34:44 PM
|
Jenn, First off may I kindly say your boss is a ninny !! He sure expects a lot and especially at Christmas with the possibility of being out of a job soon! I would hold your ground and maybe in private tell him that you are just not able to do that much!
I think the party sounds like a great idea and if he's expecting you to collectively put in $600, you surely could throw a very nice event for less than that!
I have a very strong opinion about men who can work and don't   so I would not give someone like that one red cent!
Good Luck!
Monica
farmgirls rule!
www.justducky48.etsy.com |
|
|
|
vermont v
True Blue Farmgirl
194 Posts
Victoria
Chester
Vermont
USA
194 Posts |
Posted - Dec 05 2008 : 6:58:07 PM
|
The boss is being unethical with the request; I would put this in the category of coercion. It sounds as if your boss is not very sensitive to the limitations of the staff's budgets. You are right to trust your feelings that the request is not within porper behavior for your boss. Perhaps you could point out the unecessary pressure it might put on those in the office who are not able to come up with this much money or offer an alternative. |
|
|
|
La Patite Ferme
True Blue Farmgirl
623 Posts
Jenn
CA
USA
623 Posts |
Posted - Dec 05 2008 : 9:20:53 PM
|
Thanks girls. I knew I could count on all of you. I think I was just feeling a little guilty about REALLY not wanting to participate. And, after I wrote that post a few of the staff came to talk with me about how they felt. One girl said her husband didn't think it was right for the Director to assume everyone could afford to do all he was asking, so she isn't going to give at all. Another said she couldn't afford it so she got her sis who works in a hair salon to donate haircuts to the kids. And a third said he was only giving $20 and that was it. I guess nobody really wants to participate.
Even though no one appreciated the timing (2 weeks before Christmas) or the way it was presented none of them said anything at the meeting. I'm usually the only one questioning things and giving alternatives - to no avail though. If he would stop doing things sooo last minute we would have more options. We have a 25 member board and I'm sure they wouldn't mind participating if we gave them more notice - like at the Nov board meeting.
Monica - you made me laugh with your ninny comment. Actually he's much more than that. I've never worked with anyone who is so disconnected from the staff. This job may be his life and one he wants to spend 24/7 at, but for most of us it's not ours life. It's just the way we pay our bills.
Thanks for letting me vent and for your suggestions. I've decided what I'm going to do and I feel relieved.
Merry Merry and Happy Happy what ever you celebrate.
|
|
|
|
Farmtopia
True Blue Farmgirl
1465 Posts
Zan
New York
New York
USA
1465 Posts |
|
|
Tina Michelle
True Blue Farmgirl
6948 Posts
Tina
sunshine state
FL
USA
6948 Posts |
Posted - Dec 06 2008 : 12:38:28 AM
|
since it is a non profit organization that is a community type help..why doesn't the director do a toy/clothing drive for the kids/families that you serve? why doesn't he enlist the generosity of the community to assist seeing as you serve many families in your area. certainly he could run an article in the local newspaper for this type of thing instead of the staff members who may actually be facing a bit of economic crunch themselves to have to foot the bill.
Seems at this time of year when folks want to help others that he could see if the community would get involved. have drop off boxes set up in the office there and allow folks to come in and leave food items, clothing for clean clothing for children, and stuffed toys.And I agree check with stores like Walmart, and such as some of them like to get the recognition as to being contributors to projects like this. So contact your local Walmart store management..as well as a few others in your area.
That's just my 2 cents worth.
~Seize the Day! Live, Love, Laugh~
visit me at:
http://gardengoose.blogspot.com/
and at www.stliving.net
you can also check out my etsy shops at:http://GardenGooseGifts.etsy.com |
|
|
|
LivingWell4You
True Blue Farmgirl
1411 Posts
Karen
Hillsboro
MO
USA
1411 Posts |
Posted - Dec 06 2008 : 05:29:04 AM
|
Jenn, I'm so glad the others came and talked to you. Now you don't have to feel so alone in this situation. Good for you for speaking up too! And your sister is awesome for donating haircuts for the kids. I'd think the mothers would love that.
God bless -
Karen ~ Chickherder & Farmgirl Sister #311 |
|
|
|
palmettogirl
True Blue Farmgirl
571 Posts
sue
camden
south carolina
USA
571 Posts |
Posted - Dec 06 2008 : 06:49:26 AM
|
| putting it bluntly, i think your boss stinks!! he just wants to make himself look good...at all of your expense. with the economy the way it is, i think he has a lot of nerve...especially if you all are intimidated to go to a store, put the $20 gift certificate on your charge and next month you get layed off!! i would say that you can't afford it, however, if he has to lay someone off, you'll probably be the first to go. bad situation... how about asking some friends or relatives to donate $10 or $20, collect it and buy the certificates for the kids as a group project by you?? however, if others in your group (at work) can't, then i'd just join them and not listen to him. he probably makes more $$ than the rest of you so maybe he can pick it up!! sorry that this isn't such good?? advice but it's the best i can come up with....GOOD LUCK! sue |
|
|
|
happymama58
True Blue Farmgirl
1210 Posts
Patti
Missouri
USA
1210 Posts |
Posted - Dec 06 2008 : 06:59:21 AM
|
I read your original post and my heart went out to you; but after reading your update, I felt almost sick. I was in a similar situation -- tried to do the right thing and colleagues backed me privately but not openly -- and I ended up in a very difficult atmosphere at my previous job. I know from experience what you must be going through, and I'm soooo sorry. I wish I had the perfect solution but there isn't one.
If you're so inclined, pray about what you should do. But whatever your belief system, continue to act with integrity (which I feel confident you do and will do, from reading your posts).
Everything I want to say sounds like a platitude, so I'll stop here. I'll be praying for you and your coworkers, as well as the children your agency helps. God bless you!
Some people search for happiness; others create it.
Please email me for all your BeautiControl needs! |
|
|
|
happymama58
True Blue Farmgirl
1210 Posts
Patti
Missouri
USA
1210 Posts |
Posted - Dec 06 2008 : 07:05:35 AM
|
I was going to say something else in my previous post but didn't. As soon as I hit "post new reply" I decided to say it anyway.
I agree with previous posters that your boss stinks and is a ninny. BUT so are your coworkers! They lack spine and are completely willing to let you step up and say things that they agree with, but they won't support you publicly. Yes, they have to worry about keeping their job, but so do you. Next time they come to you privately, I would politely ask that next time they back you in the meetings as well. Just tell them you appreciate their private support but their public support would be even more meaningful and possibly even help bring about change.
Good luck!!
Some people search for happiness; others create it.
Please email me for all your BeautiControl needs! |
|
|
|
palmettogirl
True Blue Farmgirl
571 Posts
sue
camden
south carolina
USA
571 Posts |
Posted - Dec 06 2008 : 08:17:55 AM
|
| here is another idea....(from my husband, no less!)...how about sending an anonymous letter to your boss's boss about him intimidating all of you? .....or,...maybe you could go about it "innocently".... ask about a standard policy of gift-giving at the office and then include the bit about "giving" to the needy, but what if you feel that you can't? at any rate, i certainly wouldn't invite "the stinker" to any little group christmas party that you all might have outside the office!! |
|
|
|
kissmekate
True Blue Farmgirl
890 Posts
Kate
Delano
Minnesota
890 Posts |
Posted - Dec 06 2008 : 12:20:59 PM
|
I agree with Sue. I would send an anonymous letter to his boss. His boss needs to be aware of the situation, even if it is un-official. I would write it like you did on here, direct and not overly emotional. I would include the part about the clients being lazy. Perhaps that would give everyone a thought on who they are helping too. What is that saying the Lord helps those who helps themselves?
If it were me in this situation, I would have told him at the meeting in front of everyone, that I personally can't afford that kind of expense, or I'd be a client. Hard times or not.
It would have embarassed myself a little, but perhaps would have given him some thought, that gee maybe some people can't afford to have others spend their money for them. Especially two weeks before Christmas.
It is sad that everyone seems to have their hand out, especially this time of year. And they try to make you the bad person because you can't help everyone.
Don't miss out on a blessing, just because it isn't packaged the way you expected. ~MaryJo Copeland |
|
|
|
La Patite Ferme
True Blue Farmgirl
623 Posts
Jenn
CA
USA
623 Posts |
Posted - Dec 06 2008 : 8:12:12 PM
|
Thanks all. I really appreciated your comments and suggestions. Some of them I've already done and I've even had several sit down conversations with the Board Prez about the some of the problems I see. This has been one of the most bizarre jobs I've ever held. The kind of situation I described here is just one in a long line of stuff that has happened over the 2 years I've worked here. It's really made me think about whether or not I want to continue with the organization.
The thing I found most amazing (in a good way) about your posts is that all of you picked up on the kind of person the Director is in just a few paragraphs - something I haven't been able to get the Board of Directors to do since I've been here. They're just sooo complacent and afraid of change. They'd rather the problems continue rather than go through the pain of fixing them.
Anyway, I had a great day of not thinking about this. DD and I did some shopping, had lunch with Auntie, put up our light, bought our poinsettias and the tree. She's in decorating it now so I better get back to it.
Thanks again for all your support,
Jenn
|
|
|
|
Beverley
True Blue Farmgirl
2707 Posts
Beverley
atlanta
Michigan
USA
2707 Posts |
Posted - Dec 06 2008 : 9:08:43 PM
|
I guess I have a big mouth but I would have just come right out and said I can not do this at the meeting whether the other people backed me or not. what he is asking you all to do is not right. it should be voluntary and perhaps he should have given you all a list of organizations in the area to call and see if you could get some donations. He does not want to do his job right but expects everyone to help him not do his job. If this is a non-profit then this all needs to be done months before and going to the public and other places to help out. I never had any trouble going over peoples heads either to tell them my feelings on a particular aspect of my job. I always if I did it in writing signed my name to it and stood up and said yes this was me and I feel this way. you would be surprised how others will come around and back you if you are the first one to put your neck out. no one wants to be the first to do it though. I guess I just have a big mouth and big shoulders and just did it. when I think something is wrong to me it is just that wrong and I should stand up and say so. But that is just me.
Folks will know how large your soul is by the way you treat a dog....Charles F. Doran
beverley baggett Beverley with an extra E...
http://bevsdoggies.googlepages.com/ |
|
|
| |
Across the Fence: I'm in a quandry and need Farmgirl Advice |
|
I'm in a quandry and need Farmgirl Advice
