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**Welcome Wagon:  Are there other foster parents  |
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pasofino
True Blue Farmgirl
50 Posts
Claudia
Stony Creek
New York
USA
50 Posts |
 Posted - Aug 20 2008 : 1:51:21 PM
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I am a new member and have a 13 year old foster son, soon to be adopted....its very tough to sometimes get through the day with him, but at the same time I love him with all my heart...he has been through so much, in his short life....would really appreciate hearing from others and how they cope....
happy trails |
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nampafarmgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
494 Posts
Kim
Nampa
ID
USA
494 Posts |
Posted - Aug 20 2008 : 2:11:14 PM
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What you are doing to save 1 child is awsome. It is so sad to me that people have a child and throw them out with the garbage when things go south. My hubby was a foster child and his foster parents earned thier way into heaven for the h... he put them thru. I can tell you stories that would curl your toenails, but they and he survived, I hope that gives you hope and comfort.....you can email me if you like.
Kim |
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mikesgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
3659 Posts
Sherri
Elma
WA
USA
3659 Posts |
Posted - Aug 20 2008 : 2:14:40 PM
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I have been a foster parent and can really relate to what you're going through. What I had to keep in mind was what was best for the child - whether they were going to a happy stable home where they would be part of a family or whether it was better for them to stay in our home, in which they were loved, but would never be as permanent as an adoptive home. Still - it's really hard.
Farmgirl Sister #98
Check out my new online store
http://www.shopthefrontier.com/VFstore/index.php?manufacturers_id=79&osCsid=6be4b25bf9555031c6e2e86bbde23dba |
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dkelewae
True Blue Farmgirl
1310 Posts
Diana
Saint Peters
MO
USA
1310 Posts |
Posted - Aug 20 2008 : 2:46:51 PM
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I was a foster parent for many years. I did regular and behavioral foster care. How long have you had your soon to be son? They'll all go through a phase where they'll test you beyond all belief just to make sure that no matter what you'll still love them. Fortunately that phase passes with time, trust, and lots of love.
Diana
Farmgirl Sister #272
St. Peters MO
Country Girl trapped in the city! |
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pasofino
True Blue Farmgirl
50 Posts
Claudia
Stony Creek
New York
USA
50 Posts |
Posted - Aug 20 2008 : 3:38:18 PM
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Thanks for your replys.....dkelewae..and all the other helpfull farm girls who have replied..he is testing every minute it seems....constant arguing, defiance, ...very hard to handle....and i know deep down, he is smart, sweet, loving....what keeps me going is knowing what he can learn here out in the country, with interacting with animals and nature; being responsible for others,,, unlike what he has experienced in his earlier years....
He has been here since Oct. 2007 and his parents have both relinquished all rights to him....thus adoption..and hopefully a better fruitful life ...........
happy trails |
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Auntie Brenda
True Blue Farmgirl
168 Posts
Brenda
Boerne
Texas
USA
168 Posts |
Posted - Aug 20 2008 : 4:18:47 PM
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Hi Claudia,
Welcome from Texas! First I want to thank you for what you are doing! I wish more people would/could take in children to foster. I am not a foster parent but my husband and I are respite foster parents for the agency I work/volunteer with. We enjoy giving our foster parents a break when they need one. I work for a non-profit agency that helps families and children in crisis. I work at our RTC (Residential Treatment Center) and Basic Care campus. All of our kids have been removed from their homes by CPS and most are waiting to be placed in foster homes and or be adopted. I can attest to what Diana said, most of these kids will test you to the limit, most are afraid to let anyone in for fear of being abandoned again. Just keep up consistency, structure, trust and love. I can't tell you how many kids have come back as adults to thank our agency. My husband and I have boys who have long been gone that stay in touch with us, some who we had a hard time with. They are now responsible, productive young adults, some have families of their own. Keep up the good work and know that it will pass. As I'm sure you know, he is dealing with his issues PLUS he is at that age of those changing hormones! Double whammy... Does he receive counseling/therapy? Do you have a good support system? Please feel free to e-mail me anytime!
Again, thank you for your commitment to this young man!
Brenda
Farmgirl Sister #292 |
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Aunt Jenny
True Blue Farmgirl
11381 Posts
Jenny
middle of
Utah
USA
11381 Posts |
Posted - Aug 20 2008 : 6:33:09 PM
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Hi Claudia!! First of all congratulations on the upcoming adoption!! We have adopted 5 of our 7 kids through foster care and have had SUCH A great experience. The youngest (when he came into our family) was 3 and the oldest 14 (they are half brothers) and it worked out fine. I KNOW it is such an important thing to do and couldn't love my kids more if they were "homemade" like my oldest two boys. 4 are still at home now...ages 13, 12, and two 11 year olds. (four months out of the year I have "triplets") and they came from WAY hard pasts...they are all thriving and I am so proud of them. Let me tell you 13 year olds are harder than any other kids no matter what. I am on my 4th one..ugh! 3 more to get past THAT stage..haha. Anyway....good luck..hang in there..and it is a wonderful thing, adoption!!! Do you plan to do more foster care? Our last adoption was final 3 years ago (although we had the girls for 2 years before that) and we are done. But we are old enough to feel done too. I am 49 and husband is 50. (and we both have October birthdays...so it won't be long until I am....gulp...50 myself)
Welcome to the group, by the way..I am glad you found us!
Jenny in Utah
Proud Farmgirl sister #24
Inside me there is a skinny woman crying to get out...but I can usually shut her up with cookies
http://www.auntjennysworld.blogspot.com/ visit my little online shop at www.auntjenny.etsy.com |
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pasofino
True Blue Farmgirl
50 Posts
Claudia
Stony Creek
New York
USA
50 Posts |
Posted - Aug 21 2008 : 05:42:45 AM
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Thanks for all th supportive letters. This little boy is really pressing my limits...He sees a counselor every other week and a psychiatrist once a month, he's on two meds, twice a day for ADD, ADHD and attachment disorder. He has been through the mill in his short life.....12 is a hard age, plus he's testing to see if we'll give up....my husband and I are are both 53 and my birthday is November first.....never thought I would be here at this age...
Claudia...Proud Farmgirl sister number ??? I don't no what number I am.....
happy trails |
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MagnoliaWhisper
True Blue Farmgirl
2817 Posts
Heather
Haysville
Kansas
USA
2817 Posts |
Posted - Aug 21 2008 : 06:05:04 AM
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Hang in there!
I have 8 siblings who are adopted, and soon to be 10 adopted! (two girls in the process).
My parents are 50 and 58! :)
4 of them from foster parent program.
The thing is my parents did NOT receive any money for fostering them. NONE! Something about them being family and such. (the others are not family, but these four are related to us, and were my parents foster children for about 4 years-but the others were never foster kids, they were directly adopted from a orphanage in Haiti).
Any way, I have a question, my husband and I plan on going into fostering too. But, I was wondering, do you pay taxes on the foster care money they give you? If we did foster care and were paid, would we need to hold back money for taxes, so we wouldn't have to pay a big sum at tax time. Or is that money tax exempt? (I know it's not much and it's for the children's care and needs, but I have been wondering how taxes come into play with the whole mess, or if they are in play at all.) BTW, I am not going into fostering for money, we are going in for adoption and to hopefully help heal some wounded children. But, it's a fact that money does come with some (again I know it's not a income money it's for the children), I just was wondering exactly what we would be getting into if we did receive money and if it was more hassle with taxes then it's worth. (may be worth it to just not accept the money! lol).
http://www.wolfprncez.blogspot.com |
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Aunt Jenny
True Blue Farmgirl
11381 Posts
Jenny
middle of
Utah
USA
11381 Posts |
Posted - Aug 21 2008 : 06:37:08 AM
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The money you get for doing foster care isn't taxable. And the subsidy afterwards depends alot on what state they are from or adopted in, how old they are and if they have more severe problems or not. And it isn't much most places. Of course every little bit would help.
Jenny in Utah
Proud Farmgirl sister #24
Inside me there is a skinny woman crying to get out...but I can usually shut her up with cookies
http://www.auntjennysworld.blogspot.com/ visit my little online shop at www.auntjenny.etsy.com |
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Alee
True Blue Farmgirl
22941 Posts
Alee
Worland
Wy
USA
22941 Posts |
Posted - Aug 21 2008 : 07:19:47 AM
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Claudia-
I think it is great what you are doing with this young man! I am sure that as more time goes by and he sees you and your husband aren't giving up on him, he will trust and relax a bit more. Poor kid. I know how defiant I was as a teenager and that was with having the best parents always there for me. I can only imagine going through the normal teenager stuff and having a hard time trusting at the same time.
PS- The Farmgirl Numbers are give out once you join the Sisterhood. It's a separate sign-up and costs $20. This page will explain it better than I can! http://www.maryjanesfarm.org/farmgirl-sisterhood/
Alee
Farmgirl Sister #8
www.awarmheart.com
Please come visit Nora and me on our new blog:
www.farmgirlalee.blogspot.com
Put your pin on the farmgirl map! www.farmgirlmap.blogspot.com |
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pasofino
True Blue Farmgirl
50 Posts
Claudia
Stony Creek
New York
USA
50 Posts |
Posted - Aug 21 2008 : 4:44:57 PM
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I did pay for the sister hood, am awaiting my pkg...
.and to answer Magnoliawhisper's question, we do not have to pay tax in New York for the money we recieve for fostering a child. We have also applied to receive a supplement once he is adopted to help, (he will need medical help probably for the rest of his life). They will also reimburse our legal fees in the adoption process...thats if they...the state, OKEYS it...
happy trails |
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MagnoliaWhisper
True Blue Farmgirl
2817 Posts
Heather
Haysville
Kansas
USA
2817 Posts |
Posted - Aug 21 2008 : 5:04:58 PM
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Thanks Claudia and Jenny. That would help a lot. (not having to worry about how much to hold back, etc). I'm a totally sidetracked house executive (SHE), that would get lost in all that stuff if I had to worry about the tax on it! lol haha.
http://www.wolfprncez.blogspot.com |
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Aunt Jenny
True Blue Farmgirl
11381 Posts
Jenny
middle of
Utah
USA
11381 Posts |
Posted - Aug 21 2008 : 5:07:02 PM
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I didn't know it was taxable some places. I have only had experience in two states with adoption. My kids all get medicaid until they are 18..which helps. They are on our regular insurance now..finally..but it pays any co-pays and stuff even so.
Jenny in Utah
Proud Farmgirl sister #24
Inside me there is a skinny woman crying to get out...but I can usually shut her up with cookies
http://www.auntjennysworld.blogspot.com/ visit my little online shop at www.auntjenny.etsy.com |
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**Welcome Wagon: Are there other foster parents |
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Are there other foster parents
