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Family Matters:  31 weeks along with #3..."Mommy blues"  |
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Ca-Reds
True Blue Farmgirl
124 Posts
kristy
Clearlake
Ca
USA
124 Posts |
 Posted - May 31 2008 : 9:10:15 PM
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| All right ladies, did any of you feel lonely when you had your babies? I am 24 work'in on my third baby and wish i had someone around my age that was doing the same things in life that i am... I have a sister and some friends that had a child when i had my first 4 yr's ago, but none of them are still with the fathers.... So they are every-other-week type moms. They really don't seem like they have a child at all. My husband and i have been working really hard to make sure we had a strong marrage and a good home to raise our girls in. So we don't party like most people my age... I guess i just feel left out of todays life style for what people are doing. And the new age women are have babies. Any good pick-me-up ideas to feel better? Kristy |
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jpbluesky
True Blue Farmgirl
6066 Posts
Jeannie
Florida
USA
6066 Posts |
Posted - May 31 2008 : 9:19:26 PM
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Kristy - this evening my daughter told me she is expecting her third child. I was so surprised I am afraid I said all the wrong things. I wish I could do it over again. What I would have said is this: I am so grateful you have a sound marriage, and a sweet family. You are doing the right things in life. You are making this country a better place, and those around you better people. I wish you had a close friend to be with, too. But hug your babies, take care of the one on the way, and turn to God and your hubby for strength. You are one of the folks who keep family life alive and strong. Keep it up. God bless you.
My daughter knows I love her dearly and without condition, but I so wish I had hugged her and smiled in glee! Instead, I was all full of thoughts like "how can they afford it, and I hope she wil be okay through this pregnancy...." Fear and loneliness sure can ruin things, huh? Let's be positive and turn our faces to joy.
Farmgirl Sister # 31
www.blueskyjeannie.blogspot.com
Psalm 51: 10-13 |
Edited by - jpbluesky on May 31 2008 9:22:42 PM |
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Alee
True Blue Farmgirl
22941 Posts
Alee
Worland
Wy
USA
22941 Posts |
Posted - May 31 2008 : 9:39:47 PM
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I felt a bit lonely when I was pregnant as all my family was far away and while my husband likes to go to the bars occasionally- we are more stay at home- invite someone over for dinner type people. I called my family a lot and talked on the forum a lot. That helped and then of course I got to busy to notice once Nora was born!
Alee
Farmgirl Sister #8
www.awarmheart.com
Please come visit Nora and me on our new blog:
www.farmgirlalee.blogspot.com |
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lovelady
True Blue Farmgirl
533 Posts
Toni
Indiana
USA
533 Posts |
Posted - Jun 01 2008 : 03:48:50 AM
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| Hi Kristy! I am 28 and working on my 2nd, so I am a bit older than you, but let's not think about that too much! We do not live close to anyone in my family, but are surrounded by my husband's family and friends from school. His brother and best friends are all 2 or 3 years younger than us and are just starting to get married, so none of them really know what it is like to have much responsibility, especially not a child. They go out all the time and can't understand why we don't want to. Just the other day, my sister-in-law and two other friends stopped by our house on their way home from going out for lunch and shopping. For some reason, that day I was upset by the fact that I can't just go out and do that kind of thing anymore. But, my son is so much more fun! And I know that one day they will have kids and hopefully will realize that life isn't all about going out drinking and blowing all your money on silly stuff. Well, enough rambling, I just wanted to let you know that you are definately not alone! Good luck with the newest baby! |
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Sitnalta
True Blue Farmgirl
4208 Posts
Jessica
NJ
USA
4208 Posts |
Posted - Jun 01 2008 : 06:53:33 AM
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HI Kristy,
I know what you're saying. I spend a lot of time in tears. I had my first and second babies right close together (15 months). It seemed like everyone was having babies until I had one. It was 24 when I had my first...those hormones are going crazy getting ready for that baby to come. IF you were feeling normal you wouldn't be having a normal pregnancy. :) Irony isn't it?! I remember being sad because I didn't go to parties anymore and all my friends seem to have something to do. Thankfully, when babies got there you make a whole new set of friends and I even met new ones in the hospital. It's an exciting new season in life no matter which # blessing it is! How thankful we can be that you have such a wonderful DH that is sticking with you and is committed for the long haul!
Hugs...and hoping your not so lonely soon...Only a few more weeks to go!!
Jess
Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.
The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and the lightning bug. -- Mark Twain |
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MarySueK
True Blue Farmgirl
96 Posts
Susan
Richland
WA
96 Posts |
Posted - Jun 01 2008 : 11:19:08 AM
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When I was expecting our third child we had just moved and I really didn't know many people, and our families were far away. Also my husband traveled a lot for work so I usually felt like I was losing my mind. I found a couple of play groups, through a church and one through an organization called MOMS (stands for something like Moms offering Moms support). Maybe your town might have something like that. Otherwise it is hard to meet anyone in the same boat. Good luck!! I found I was able to deal with a lot more than I would have believed - already having 2 little boys plus a newborn girl.
Sue in Richland, WA |
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babysmama
True Blue Farmgirl
931 Posts
Elizabeth
Iowa
931 Posts |
Posted - Jun 01 2008 : 5:39:21 PM
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Kristy-
You are welcome to e-mail me anytime because we sound a lot alike! I am 25 years old and just had my third three weeks ago. I have been fairly lonely throughout my whole motherhood journey because of the fact that you mentioned - no one around here seems to be on the same journey. Everyone I know either has one or two older children who they never seem to spend time with or is without children. I have no mommy to share my joys and struggles with and to hear theirs in return, except for a good penpal that I have had for years. It is hard and I completely understand, I especially felt alone this last pregnancy and now dealing with a newborn and two other small children. You are not alone!!
-Elizabeth |
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catscharm74
True Blue Farmgirl
4687 Posts
Heather
Texas
USA
4687 Posts |
Posted - Jun 01 2008 : 6:50:54 PM
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I only have 1 child and this may be our one and only- I am sole caretaker and have been since Charlie was born. Not the hubby hasn't been around, but with a military schedule, I am pretty much it. I felt very lonely and isolated for the first 2 years and hubby couldn't understand when I would totally lose it and just bawl. Our family is not involved at all (their choice) but when they do call, they make me feel like a bad Mom for going to college and putting Charlie in daycare, they don't get the amount of pressure and stress I am under as a single parent right now, and we have moved 5 times in 16 months, so no time to make solid friendships nor could I keep up with the typical mom I ran into- SAHM with lots of help and $$$ to do things, not that I am judging but I just couldn't do that. Now that I am Texas, I am really making an effort to make friends but more importantly, taking the time to do for myself- taking walks, painting my toe nails, plucking my eyebrows, buying a few luxurious products for my skin,,,simple things that make me feel better. I also read somewhere that if you walk with a smile in her heart, it will reflect on the outside. (((HUGS)))
Heather
Yee-Haw, I am a cowgirl!!!
FARMGIRL #90 |
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Ca-Reds
True Blue Farmgirl
124 Posts
kristy
Clearlake
Ca
USA
124 Posts |
Posted - Jun 01 2008 : 8:47:40 PM
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| Thank you for your support! I know that i am not alone, but sometimes you just feel that way... I hopefully will not have to work after i have the baby for some time. So i have been thinking of all the fun things i get to do with my little ones!!! I have been stocking up on recepies to make with Emma(4yr), craft ideas, and yard work(Play). I think i will be buzzy enough with my little ones that i will be satisfied :) And i have to keep in mind all my RAGEING hormones and the ups and downs of just being pregnant!! Kristy |
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shepherdgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
1008 Posts
Tracy
California
USA
1008 Posts |
Posted - Jun 05 2008 : 1:33:49 PM
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No Kristy, you're not alone at all. We've ALL been there. My children are older now (18,17 &13), but I was JUST LIKE YOU!!! I had my first two boys 18mos apart. I was 20yrs old then. My third came just before my 25th b-day. (Lucky kid, 'cause after 25 I was DONE having babies!!)
Although my husband and I have been married 19yrs, he was a workaholic AND an alcoholic for the first 13yrs of our marriage. I WAS raising my boys alone, but I didn't have the financial worries of a single mom. Though we never had LOTS of money, I never had to worry much about paying the bills. My husband has ALWAYS been a good financial provider-- I will give him that-- but he was a terrible husband and father back then. Our lives have change a lot since then, and while those memories are hard to forget, they HAVE been FORGIVEN.
In the long run you will realize that you really aren't missing ANYTHING. Now, as I listen to my friends (and my sisters!) complain about their young children, about how they can't use the bathroom without a little one barging in, or how hard it is to deal with them in the grocery store, or how much they would LOVE to go shopping without all the chaos, or go out with friends and not have to worry about a babysitter.... I just sit back and smile.
I've definitely EARNED the right to live my own life now, and you will too! In about 10yrs you'll look back and wonder how you made it through, but you'll breath that big sigh of relief and look around at all those OTHER young mothers out there and shake your head thinking-- "Oh Honey, I KNOW just how you feel....."
Hang in there kid. Don't let the loneliness get you down, cause trust me, you're not missing A THING!!! You will be able to look back at your life, at your children when they are older and say "You know what? It was hard, but it was SOO worth it! I have raised some FABULOUS people!!!" BIG hugs to you Hon ~~~ Tracy
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. ~~ George Carlin |
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shepherdgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
1008 Posts
Tracy
California
USA
1008 Posts |
Posted - Jun 05 2008 : 1:48:49 PM
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Heather-- you, dear, are stuck between that perverbial "rock and a hard place." I can't even imagine what it must be like for you. It's so sad, and so cold hearted how our government goes out of it's way to help the people of other countries, (which IS a good thing, don't get me wrong here), while at the same time it ignores our own people and their needs-- especially the families of our military personel who risk their lives each and every single day so that we can all enjoy the blessed freedom that so many of us take for granted.
On behalf of my own family, and myself, we want you to know how much we truly appreciate your husbands sacrifice for our freedom, and the sacrifice that YOU make for it as well. Too often we all forget that, while our military personel are keeping us safe and free, many of them have families at home that are struggling to make ends meet and missing their loved one TERRIBLY!
Thank you, THANK YOU Heather!!! and don't you EVER be ashamed about doing the things you must do to help support your family while your dear husband is doing all he can to protect us!!! God bless you and your family a thousand times, and MORE, for that ~~~Super BIG hugs to you and little Charlie~~~ Tracy
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. ~~ George Carlin |
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Family Matters: 31 weeks along with #3..."Mommy blues" |
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31 weeks along with #3..."Mommy blues"
