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Across the Fence:  Are you and your DH/SO the same...  |
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lovelady
True Blue Farmgirl
533 Posts
Toni
Indiana
USA
533 Posts |
 Posted - Mar 23 2008 : 2:21:46 PM
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religion?
I am Catholic and my husband is not. Growing up he attended an independent Christian church which we go to half the time. The other half we go to my church and our son was baptized Catholic. When we were first married we decided that this would be the best way, just to split our time between the two so that both of us were happy. But now that we are having kids, I think it may become confusing for them going to two different churches.
So, if you come from different faiths, how did you reconcile your differences, or do you just do your own thing? What about the kids?
I don't want to start any religious debates, just looking for some direction. Thanks so much! |
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corporatefarmgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
389 Posts
Tamara
Pikeville
TN
USA
389 Posts |
Posted - Mar 23 2008 : 2:36:00 PM
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My DH and I were just the opposite. He was raised in a strong Catholic family, I was raise in a strong Southern Baptist family. We tried each other's churches and nothing felt right. Then we went Methodist. It was a nice middle ground. We felt it was best to have a church we could both agree on. One that the children could see as a home church. We also know that it is not the church that is held accountable at the end but each of us as individuals. So it is the personal relationship not the church membership that is important. Just our opion though... 
small farms give big benefits |
Edited by - corporatefarmgirl on Mar 23 2008 2:37:37 PM |
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catscharm74
True Blue Farmgirl
4687 Posts
Heather
Texas
USA
4687 Posts |
Posted - Mar 23 2008 : 3:06:03 PM
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I grew up Catholic, hubby grew up Protestant and then Baptist. But, we are trying to figure out what direction we want to go in.
Cheers,
Heather
FARMGIRL #90 |
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willowtreecreek
True Blue Farmgirl
4813 Posts
Julie
Russell
AR
USA
4813 Posts |
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Tammy Claxton
True Blue Farmgirl
1559 Posts
Tammy
Glen Burnie
Maryland
USA
1559 Posts |
Posted - Mar 23 2008 : 4:36:18 PM
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My hubby is Catholic and I am Lutheran. We got married Lutheran though, and all of our children have been baptized Lutheran as well.
Crafty Bay Farmgirl Chapter
"A friend is someone who does things that count, but never stops to count them"
Farmgirl #152
http://countryintheburbs.blogspot.com/ |
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kissmekate
True Blue Farmgirl
890 Posts
Kate
Delano
Minnesota
890 Posts |
Posted - Mar 23 2008 : 10:04:19 PM
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My ex husband was a lapsed Catholic, I am a Lutheran. Not so much difference there, but according to my ex-MIL I was a heathen simply because I wasn't Catholic. (Her baby boy was perfect you know, nevermind that he hadn't attended church in years.)
I did eventually win her over though, she had the opportunity to hear my pastor speak and was impressed. Especially after I told her I could listen to his sermons for hours and love every minute of it.
(Pastor Lee was a great speaker!!)
Don't miss out on a blessing, just because it isn't packaged the way you expected. ~MaryJo Copeland |
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Aunt Jenny
True Blue Farmgirl
11381 Posts
Jenny
middle of
Utah
USA
11381 Posts |
Posted - Mar 24 2008 : 12:29:22 AM
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My husband and I are the same religion..but wern't always. He converted to mine after we had been married a couple years. It was never an issue with us really..he was always supportive and not active in a church at the time. We are both very active in church now and raising our kids the same. It would be for sure harder to attend two churches. Where there is love there is a way though, I am sure of that.
Jenny in Utah
Proud Farmgirl sister #24
Inside me there is a skinny woman crying to get out...but I can usually shut her up with cookies
http://www.auntjennysworld.blogspot.com/ visit my little online shop at www.auntjenny.etsy.com |
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Annab
True Blue Farmgirl
2900 Posts
Anna
Seagrove
NC
USA
2900 Posts |
Posted - Mar 24 2008 : 03:20:11 AM
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I come from a non-denomination Christian church, hubby is Southern Baptist both are similar so our merge was fairly easy.
Around where we live there are Baptist churches on every corner. The one hubby goes to is really small and I'd say more than 50% attendees are over 50. Not that that's a bad thing-but in a few years unless there is a population boom, I'm afraid this church may die slowly. On a good day there are maybe 100 + in the congregation. I'm used to a slightly bigger church with far more programming and small groups. Some days I'll go, but mostly stay home. I miss my church back home It's hard when I only get 2 Sundays off a month and sadly at this church, where are no couples or women's groups.
There are a couple good churches we know of but each are 30 miles away
So sadly, these days our delema is distance
I think if we ever have kids, I'll definitely find a bigger church |
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GaiasRose
True Blue Farmgirl
2552 Posts
Tasha-Rose
St. Paul
Minnesota
2552 Posts |
Posted - Mar 24 2008 : 06:42:59 AM
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neither of us have a religion. he grew up methodist and I Catholic and quasi-Lutheran. Now, though, the Earth is our religion if you c an even call it that...I don't think you can.
[size=1]
~*~Brightest Blessings~*~
Tasha-Rose
Farmgirl Sister #88
Blogs: http://gaiarose.wordpress.com
http://womonandsprout.wordpress.com
http://youtube.com/profile?user=GaiasRose
Homepage:
http://ForestFaeries.etsy.com
"Joyful chaos, working in tune with the seasons, telling itme by the sun, variety, change and self-direction; all this wwas replaced with a brutal, standardized work culture, the effects of which we are still suffering from today." - Tom Hodgkinson in 'How To Be Idle' |
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one_dog_per_acre
True Blue Farmgirl
1572 Posts
Trish
Sandpoint
ID
USA
1572 Posts |
Posted - Mar 24 2008 : 07:53:28 AM
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DH and I are both Buddhist, or try to be anyway. It is something that takes practice and real thought. One aspect that I really like is that it is respectful to other religions that are positive.
Trish
Farmgirl Sister #91
Make cupcakes not war!
FREE TIBET! |
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frannie
True Blue Farmgirl
2246 Posts
fran
bonham
texas
USA
2246 Posts |
Posted - Mar 24 2008 : 09:39:33 AM
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i was raised catholic and my first husband, disciples of christ. i was active most of my life and he was lapsed since about the age of 12.
we did not participate as a family at church in the way that i had been raised.
in my family, the church was very central and a big part of our life.
i think my children missed out on the community of the church, and for me i loved being part of a community as a child. i think it made me feel safe and helped give our family an identity which we might not have had without it.
i was adopted, as i have said before, and in our family we were all from different national groups, my dad, primarily english, my mom german-irish, my sister czech-french, and i was irish(until i found out recently i am really acadian, but thats a different story)
so i think in our family, we were, at least all catholic, and as i say i think it gave us something that we did not end up giving to our children. this of course is that wonderful hindsight.
i think adults can be spiritual and religious without being in a church community, but i think it is harder for children to find "religion" without being part of a community. also think that there are so many secular pulls on children these days that we didnt have in the 50s and 60s.
so in a real do as i say not as i did fashion, i think there is much value to families participating in a church community with their children for more than just the spiritual benefits.
also,just wondering, if you can call the love of the earth a religion, dont american indians have as the basis of many of their religions, the love and respect of the earth?
so i think folks who love the earth, pantheist, are religious and also think that those of us who believe in christian based religions, also need to have a love and respect for the earth as it is a gift that we are supposed to care for. okay, i may be starting to get preachy here and i dont mean to at all.
number one in my spiritual beliefs is that it is not my job to judge other peoples journeys, i'm just not smart enough to do that, and probably to be a judge you have to be a little better than i am at cleanin your own house.
love
frannie in texas
(http://farmfolks-frannie.blogspot.com/)
(http://abunnystale.blogspot.com/) |
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Amie C.
True Blue Farmgirl
2099 Posts
Finger Lakes Region
NY
2099 Posts |
Posted - Mar 24 2008 : 11:31:56 AM
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My husband and I were both raised in mainline Protestant churches, but now we are not strongly loyal to any denomination.
We have a weird conflict of taste - he is more comfortable with charismatic, evangelical type spirituality, but he hates churches (by which, I mean the routines, the mannerisms). He wants to belong to a community of Christians that are involved in each other's lives, working and praying together, but don't necessarily have to "put on a show" every Sunday morning complete with a p.a. system and child care.
I, on the other hand, am not comfortable with the charismatic, evangelical stuff at all. I like having other Christians for friends and discussing theological issues. But I have a longing to attend a brief, highly ritualistic service with hymnals and organ music.
My parents had an unusual twist on the traditional Catholic/Protestant blend. They were both lapsed churchgoers when they married, and became born-again Christians in the early 80s. They started attending a local Methodist church and became highly involved in it. My dad taught Sunday School and occasionally was asked to be a guest preacher when the pastor was away. I don't think many people knew that he was still technically a Catholic! He did not officially join a Protestant church until I was in college and they started attending a very charismatic mega-church.
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GaiasRose
True Blue Farmgirl
2552 Posts
Tasha-Rose
St. Paul
Minnesota
2552 Posts |
Posted - Mar 24 2008 : 3:21:38 PM
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Frannie in TX:
see I don't think that being spiritual is the same as being religious. Religion is about Dogma and rules and is mans attempt to not only be close to god or goddess but to assume they know what she/he/they are thinking.
Spirituality is far different and that is where I place myself as I follow no rules of dogma and think I'd be pretty arrogant to assume to know what a deity is thinking...
I don't call it religion, I said, if you want to call loving the earth a religion. I call it living in harmony, realizing that everything living on this planet is in a symbiotic union and cannot function one without the other...
[size=1]
~*~Brightest Blessings~*~
Tasha-Rose
Farmgirl Sister #88
Blogs: http://gaiarose.wordpress.com
http://womonandsprout.wordpress.com
http://youtube.com/profile?user=GaiasRose
Homepage:
http://ForestFaeries.etsy.com
"Joyful chaos, working in tune with the seasons, telling itme by the sun, variety, change and self-direction; all this wwas replaced with a brutal, standardized work culture, the effects of which we are still suffering from today." - Tom Hodgkinson in 'How To Be Idle' |
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CountryBorn
True Blue Farmgirl
1545 Posts
Mary Jane
New York
USA
1545 Posts |
Posted - Mar 24 2008 : 6:40:26 PM
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I was raised with a great spirituality,a love of all the good that God stands for. I never attented any church of organized religion.I was baptizied Anglican, which is an English Catholic I guess you would call it. I never attended a church service. But, I always have found God in nature, that is my church. My husband was raised Catholic. I did convert when the children were making their communions etc. so we could all go to church together. But, I fell away rather quickly.My heart just wasn't in it. I just didn't like the rules and regulations and telling you what to believe in and how to practice it, how much money to give etc. My husband also left. I was just used to believeing in a loving God and used to the way I related to him in my own way. I am still a very spiritual person and always will be. I just have my own beliefs. My husband feels like I do. What God is interested in is what kind of a person you are, how you treat others( people and animals) and this beautiful planet. To all that have particular religions and get such satisfaction is your beliefs and churchs I am very happy for all of you. I respect all relgions and enjoy learning about them.That is one of my major beliefs, that there are many ways to believe and to live by what you believe.
MJ
There can be no happiness if the things we believe in are different from the things we do. Freya Stark |
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Across the Fence: Are you and your DH/SO the same... |
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Are you and your DH/SO the same...
