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Across the Fence:  Jealousy  |
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bohemiangel
True Blue Farmgirl
2087 Posts
Bridget
Ligonier
pa
USA
2087 Posts |
 Posted - Mar 22 2008 : 05:59:17 AM
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I have found and been thinking about this lately....esp with some of our venting posts. There is so much jealousy I am amazed. Yeah I envy some people but if I find what they are doing to be of benefit I work towards that for myself. I don't try to bring them down. So many people have been calling me princess lately, mocking me. I live at home and I am 25. SO WHAT?!! I pay all my bills I clean the house and do yard work and buy groceries. I don't make much, but I could not afford a freakin apt. Why should I struggle and be stressed if I don't have to be? They think my family pays for my stuff or my expenses. THEY DONT. lol I mean its the only child syndrome I swear...oh only child live at home you're spoiled....and just like heather said (I think it was you) diarrhea of the mouth!! They are jealous that I can live this way. It is mostly guy "Friends" that say that. lol amazing huh?
**~~Farmgirl Sister #60~~**
"... to thine ownself be true."
http://ligonierfarmgirl.blogspot.com/
http://liggygirl.blogspot.com/
http://liggygirlslonggreen.blogspot.com/
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Nancy Gartenman
True Blue Farmgirl
9093 Posts
Nancy
West Seneca
New York
USA
9093 Posts |
Posted - Mar 22 2008 : 06:38:04 AM
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I would approach it with humor and say YES, aren't I the lucky one, or like Dorthy said, there's no place like home. Or say, " I WASN'T GOING TO TELL ANYONE, BUT I'M SAVING UP FOR A VERY EXPENSIVE PENT HOUSE. Don't let them get to you or they win and we can't have that. A comeback with humor is hard to argue with.
NANCY JO
www.Nancy-Jo.blogspot.com |
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bertha
True Blue Farmgirl
234 Posts
Bertha
St Joseph
Mi
USA
234 Posts |
Posted - Mar 22 2008 : 07:10:15 AM
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| In life we learn we have to do some stuff our way and also follow our heart and the plan the Lord has for us Ive been styling hair for 40 years Its been good at times but people are always telling me what THEY think I should do Right now Ive decided to RETIE from it and stay home with a great husband and relax The hardest part is all yhe well meaning advice. IT MAKES SENSE TO FOLLOW YOUR HEART Love Bertha |
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one_dog_per_acre
True Blue Farmgirl
1572 Posts
Trish
Sandpoint
ID
USA
1572 Posts |
Posted - Mar 22 2008 : 07:17:15 AM
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You shouldn't care what other people think. When you let people get a rise out of you, they win, because that's what they wanted. I believe that adversity does give a person character, but if there was an easy road, I would take it, who wouldn't. I am jealous of you! I wish that my mom wouldn't put men before me. You are so lucky indeed, if you have such a good relationship with her, that you can actually live peacefully with her. In many asian cultures, it is quite normal to live with your family forever. But here in America, we are all about independence. I read somewhere that the main thing men look for in prospective mates is independence. It really is the truth. Maybe that's why you get flack from men.
Trish
Farmgirl Sister #91
Make cupcakes not war!
FREE TIBET! |
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mima
True Blue Farmgirl
1573 Posts
1573 Posts |
Posted - Mar 22 2008 : 07:39:05 AM
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My 26 year old dd lives here with us!!! But with the cost of housing ,she honestly can't afford it! She has her degree and is a reporter and producer for our local news but they pay peanuts!!! It is nothing to be ashamed of! I enjoy having her around! In other cultures this would be sooo no big deal! hugs!
"No pessimist ever discovered the secrets of the stars,or sailed to an uncharted land or opened a new heaven to the human spirit." Helen Keller |
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catscharm74
True Blue Farmgirl
4687 Posts
Heather
Texas
USA
4687 Posts |
Posted - Mar 22 2008 : 08:11:06 AM
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Back when I first joined the military, I was 21, living in the barracks and I walked everywhere or rode my bike and of course, I had friends who gave me rides (usually they wanted me to go because I liked to just hang out and have fun). I saved all I could while I was in so when I did get out, I wouldn't have to "worry" about money. I saved quite a bit. I moved home and my parents started in on me because I rented out a room in a small inn I worked at while I got things in order and I got on my feet. I bought a little use pick up truck and I never was one to accumulate stuff. Again, as I posted before, only my "blood" relatives had a problem with the way I live my life but I got along great with everyone else. Jealousy is so ugly and it can bring you down because when you start to question what is right for you, then you are doubting what you know to be true for yourself.
Let it go and live on farmgirl friend!!! And get some new "male" friends!! I think if the jealous ones found you always too "busy" for them, I think things would change.
Cheers,
Heather
FARMGIRL #90 |
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babysmama
True Blue Farmgirl
931 Posts
Elizabeth
Iowa
931 Posts |
Posted - Mar 22 2008 : 10:17:06 AM
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I can look at this from a different angle because I have a 21 year old brother and 19 year old sister that live at home (well, the 21 year old just moved out). I consider them to be using my parents to get a free ride. They both have jobs but pay no rent or bills for the electricity that they use (portable heaters, computers, tvs, etc. in their rooms). They don't do any chores around the house except for doing their own laundry. So in fact, they are getting a free ride. I don't think that it is wrong to live at home at any age but I think each member of a household should pull their weight. If they don't have a job they need to be helping out with all the chores in the house and if they do have a job they should be helping with bills or if saving for a place to live should at least be making the load in the house lighter by cooking, cleaning, etc. Just my point of view. It sounds like you are pulling your fair share so no one should be thinking that you are getting a free ride and being pampered.
-Elizabeth |
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La Patite Ferme
True Blue Farmgirl
623 Posts
Jenn
CA
USA
623 Posts |
Posted - Mar 22 2008 : 10:45:22 AM
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You know what Bridget - you're not responsible for what other's think. I have dealt with this my whole life and gave up trying to convince people that THEIR perception WAS NOT reality. They will believe what they want to believe.
Even now, as a single mom, people always think my parents help me pay for stuff. NOT TRUE - I am paying my own way. In fact, mom and I are in a little cat fight. She thinks I should ask dad to pay for DD's school expenses, "because he would be sooo thrilled to help" - I'd rather eat dirt. If they want to help then offer to help, but I'm not asking so mom can go tell her lady friends all about how they "have to" support me.
Just like water off a ducks back - let it go.
BTW - I lived at home also, paid my own bills helped with food, bought take out, did chores and errands, etc. The condition for not paying rent was I had to contribute the equivelent of rent to my company's retirement plan. Best condition my dad could have ever made.
Chin up gurlfriend, don't let them make you feel bad - you know the WHOLE truth about what is going on. |
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bohemiangel
True Blue Farmgirl
2087 Posts
Bridget
Ligonier
pa
USA
2087 Posts |
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palmettogirl
True Blue Farmgirl
571 Posts
sue
camden
south carolina
USA
571 Posts |
Posted - Mar 22 2008 : 6:45:21 PM
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| some guys may use the subject as something to bring up to "get attention" because "weird attention??" is better than no attention! don't worry about it----you're the one who is benefitting from the situation.....and taking care of yourself is OKAY! |
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abbasgurl
True Blue Farmgirl
1262 Posts
Rhonda
USA
1262 Posts |
Posted - Mar 22 2008 : 9:46:16 PM
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Bridget,
I think it is very wise for you to be at home right now. Living expenses are ridiculous, and this gives you a chance to save money. It sounds like you are also a GREAT help to your folks! You would be foolish to live on your own if you can't afford it. Think of the debt you would incur!
Our oldest son just turned 22. He has been travelling with his job since he was 17, and we are THRILLED to have him home with us again! Our guys know they are always welcome here...this is their home. What IS the magic number (age) when you boot your family members out?
The only child comments are just ignorance. Some of the loveliest people I know grew up as only children. Just turn their comments back on them by telling them how blessed/fortunate you are to be able to be at home cradled in the love of a wonderful family.
Rhonda
I will sing at the top of my lungs, and I will dance even if I'm the only one...
http://www.kattywhompus.etsy.com |
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kissmekate
True Blue Farmgirl
890 Posts
Kate
Delano
Minnesota
890 Posts |
Posted - Mar 23 2008 : 08:05:02 AM
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Bridget,
Don't let them get you down. You know you are paying your own way. If I could live at home, I would-I love my parents and get along great with them. That and my Mom is a great cook. LOL
If they are insistant in making you feel bad, just tell them you are saving for your own home and living at home enables you to do that.
I have a brother who is 37 and still lives at home. He pays rent, and works full time too. However, he is rather helpless, and lazy. My Mom enables him. He doesn't know how to wash clothes or cook, or even buy his own shampoo etc. but that is another discussion that will jsut leave me frustrated.
Also, years ago, most daughters lived at home until they were married.
Don't miss out on a blessing, just because it isn't packaged the way you expected. ~MaryJo Copeland |
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mikesgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
3659 Posts
Sherri
Elma
WA
USA
3659 Posts |
Posted - Mar 23 2008 : 09:05:00 AM
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I say more power to you if you can live at home and be happy. I too was an only child and I couldn't WAIT to get out of the house. I left about 3 months after I graduated but I wish I could have had the kind of relationship with my family that would have made your situation possible. I'm jealous - not of the financial benefits, but of the closeness you must share with your family.
Farmgirl Sister #98
Check out my new online store
http://www.shopthefrontier.com/VFstore/index.php?manufacturers_id=79&osCsid=6be4b25bf9555031c6e2e86bbde23dba |
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bohemiangel
True Blue Farmgirl
2087 Posts
Bridget
Ligonier
pa
USA
2087 Posts |
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Across the Fence: Jealousy |
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Jealousy
