| Author |
Across the Fence:  What do you say to....  |
|
|
kissmekate
True Blue Farmgirl
890 Posts
Kate
Delano
Minnesota
890 Posts |
 Posted - Mar 21 2008 : 9:10:35 PM
|
I have a friend who make fun of my efforts as far as being green, eating organically, and living a simple life.
What do you say to some one who puts up an "arguement?"
I am not fast on my feet as far as comebacks go, I had a friend who was making total fun of my efforts and told me I was wasting my time and money, tonight. It was a guy, so I didn't exactly feel comfortable telling him to check out us farmgirls to draw his own conclusions.
I just basically told him to live his life his way, I'll live mine my way.
I am sorry, to vent, but people are so ignorant, it makes me want to scream. And my feelings are rather hurt at his dumb comments.
It knocked me for a loop, and made me feel so ignorant and retarded.
What would you do/say?
I would like to be prepared for the next time someone makes fun of me or has legitimate questions as far as my/our lifestyle is concerned.
Thanks everyone.
Don't miss out on a blessing, just because it isn't packaged the way you expected. ~MaryJo Copeland |
|
|
mikesgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
3659 Posts
Sherri
Elma
WA
USA
3659 Posts |
Posted - Mar 21 2008 : 9:30:22 PM
|
My oldest son does this to me - in a kidding sort of way, but I know he really is making fun of me. It kind of hurts my feelings too, but I'm used to him - he gets into it with my dd about all kinds of issues - she is really "green". don't ever bring up global warming when the two of them are around! I don't really know of a good come back either, it's easier said than done to just say don't let it bother you.
Farmgirl Sister #98
Check out my new online store
http://www.shopthefrontier.com/VFstore/index.php?manufacturers_id=79&osCsid=6be4b25bf9555031c6e2e86bbde23dba |
 |
|
|
mikesgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
3659 Posts
Sherri
Elma
WA
USA
3659 Posts |
Posted - Mar 21 2008 : 9:32:55 PM
|
Oh, and another thought I had was it depends a lot on where you live too. Our area is pretty "green" - Olympia being a very liberal town, what with Evergreen College there and all, so it's easier to be upfront about your beliefs in this area. But I know when we live in Montana, it's a bit tougher. The new family that moved in down the road eats organically, homeschools, and values people over material things, but the others who live around there are pretty "old school" and set in their ways. It's tough to swim against the tide.
Farmgirl Sister #98
Check out my new online store
http://www.shopthefrontier.com/VFstore/index.php?manufacturers_id=79&osCsid=6be4b25bf9555031c6e2e86bbde23dba |
|
|
|
Aunt Jenny
True Blue Farmgirl
11381 Posts
Jenny
middle of
Utah
USA
11381 Posts |
Posted - Mar 21 2008 : 10:01:57 PM
|
I know what you mean too....I have had well meaning friends slip my kids candy bars since I am so mean about them eating better food. Or laugh when I hang clothes on the line or bake from scratch. It is hard when you have to defend what you beleive in, and I hate it. I usually just smile and do things my own way..but some people are rather relentless. hang in there!!
Jenny in Utah
Proud Farmgirl sister #24
Inside me there is a skinny woman crying to get out...but I can usually shut her up with cookies
http://www.auntjennysworld.blogspot.com/ visit my little online shop at www.auntjenny.etsy.com |
|
|
|
bohemiangel
True Blue Farmgirl
2087 Posts
Bridget
Ligonier
pa
USA
2087 Posts |
|
|
one_dog_per_acre
True Blue Farmgirl
1572 Posts
Trish
Sandpoint
ID
USA
1572 Posts |
Posted - Mar 22 2008 : 06:47:07 AM
|
ummm how about goodbye. If your, "friend," would be nasty and ignorant enough to belittle something you are passionate about, you might need to ask yourself why you are wanting to be around this person. Generally, when people are defensive or unwilling to learn, it is because they know they are in the wrong, and might have to change something about themselves. It's hard to admit that you have been a problem for earth your whole life.
Trish
Farmgirl Sister #91
Make cupcakes not war!
FREE TIBET! |
|
|
|
CountryBorn
True Blue Farmgirl
1545 Posts
Mary Jane
New York
USA
1545 Posts |
Posted - Mar 22 2008 : 07:29:11 AM
|
I think you gave the pefect answer.You live your way and I'll live mine. Simple,true,and to the point.
MJ
There can be no happiness if the things we believe in are different from the things we do. Freya Stark |
|
|
|
mima
True Blue Farmgirl
1573 Posts
1573 Posts |
Posted - Mar 22 2008 : 07:42:14 AM
|
I just keep saying to myself-"Be the change you wish to see in the world!".....Hugs!
"No pessimist ever discovered the secrets of the stars,or sailed to an uncharted land or opened a new heaven to the human spirit." Helen Keller |
|
|
|
catscharm74
True Blue Farmgirl
4687 Posts
Heather
Texas
USA
4687 Posts |
Posted - Mar 22 2008 : 07:47:28 AM
|
Oh gosh!! This sounds like my complete family. I have always been the one they "picked" on since I was 11. Honestly, no one else does this to me and I have lived in 6 different states and been around the world twice. I distant myself from them as much as I can. Don't let him discourage you- it is YOUR life!! It is a true control issue or something to make themselves feel better. I am far from a weak personality, I will just not compromise to live my life according to what someone else things is right.
Cheers,
Heather
FARMGIRL #90 |
|
|
|
Alee
True Blue Farmgirl
22941 Posts
Alee
Worland
Wy
USA
22941 Posts |
Posted - Mar 22 2008 : 12:14:01 PM
|
I try to remember that if someone is set against something, they won't learn by my shouting or throwing a fit, instead it will make them more set in their ways. I'll usually say "Oh that's a good point" and go on my way. I figure that as more information about the benefits of living a more eco friendly lifestyle becomes part of the popular culture, more people will see the error of their ways. If someone really seems receptive, I will try and point out all the studies and logical conclusions about living a greener lifestyle.
And if all else fails- sticking my tongue out at them and their ideas makes me feel better! LOL
Alee
Farmgirl Sister #8
www.awarmheart.com
Please come visit Nora and me on our new blog:
www.farmgirlalee.blogspot.com |
|
|
|
lisamarie508
True Blue Farmgirl
2648 Posts
Lisa
Idaho City
ID
USA
2648 Posts |
Posted - Mar 22 2008 : 12:29:40 PM
|
There are so many people out there who are unwilling to change their ways simply because it makes more work for them or takes longer. Our society is sooooooo into convenience and instant gratification that it's very difficult to convince them that the old ways are better. Some of them will change when an issue hits close to home for them. Some will never change. All you can do is what you are doing and try to teach these things to your kids and grandkids.
I was one of those people who swore I would never, ever be a "health nut". Well, then I found that my health was adversely affected by all the "instant", fast-food, prepackaged stuff and was forced to become a health nut. So be it. I ate crow and now I try to convince people to change for their own health. Most listen, but most don't want to change. It's just too easy to keep doing what they're doing.
Kate, someday, they will be faced with illness (unfortunate) and forced to change and then they'll be eating crow, too!
Farmgirl Sister #35
"If you can not do great things, do small things in a great way." Napoleon Hill (1883-1970)
my blog: http://lisamariesbasketry.blogspot.com/
My Website:
http://www.freewebs.com/lisamariesbasketry/index.htm |
|
|
|
kissmekate
True Blue Farmgirl
890 Posts
Kate
Delano
Minnesota
890 Posts |
Posted - Mar 23 2008 : 07:36:32 AM
|
quote:
Originally posted by one_dog_per_acre
ummm how about goodbye. If your, "friend," would be nasty and ignorant enough to belittle something you are passionate about, you might need to ask yourself why you are wanting to be around this person. Generally, when people are defensive or unwilling to learn, it is because they know they are in the wrong, and might have to change something about themselves. It's hard to admit that you have been a problem for earth your whole life.
Trish
Farmgirl Sister #91
Make cupcakes not war!
FREE TIBET!
Thanks, everyone! I was just so frustrated the other night.
Actally, I don't especially want to be his friend, but he is sort of a package deal. He is best friend's with my best friend's husband, so I get to deal with him whether I want to or not.
He is one of those perpetually sarcastic holier-than-thou types.
He did shut up when I told him to live his life his way.
Sadly, he is a single Dad, and his little boy lives out of box-i.e. lots of prepackaged convenience foods.
And Rhonda, what brought up the entire conversation was we were dying eggs with our girls, and he said something about bringing them home and eating them.
I told him we won't eat them as they aren't organic eggs, not to mention all of the dye. Which led to the what is the difference conversation.
I did tell him, well the Organic/free range eggs that I buy, the chicken gets to be a chicken and they taste so much betterr. Regular eggs, they live in a tiny cage all of their life, the chicken is hopped up on antibiotics etc.
I told him to read up on what he eats and inform himself.
That led to the mocking and sarcasm, and he doesn't just let things go.
Otherwise, usually I try to lead by example.
And for the record, I didn't buy the regular eggs, my friend did. As she thinks some of this "Green Girl" stuff is bs too. BUT she is learning from me too.
Little steps with her, as she is hard headed.
Don't miss out on a blessing, just because it isn't packaged the way you expected. ~MaryJo Copeland |
Edited by - kissmekate on Mar 23 2008 07:46:41 AM |
|
|
|
Rebekka Mae
True Blue Farmgirl
965 Posts
Rebekka
Moscow
ID
USA
965 Posts |
Posted - Mar 23 2008 : 8:45:51 PM
|
Kate-
Simple arguments are best here---VERY simple....
Sometimes I find it helpful to point out that until VERY recently everything was done organically...farming, housekeeping, etc. and that while I enjoy many modern conveniences I am nostalgic for the way that these more labor intensive (and money saving) lifestyles demanded that our grandparents formed communities and depended upon one another. I also say I am happy to do anything I can to keep the great outdoors great and my family healthy enough to enjoy it(wonderful for hunters you know- they are nearly always in agreement). Of course that is not the whole story and no one who was challenging me on my 'granola point of view' has ever pointed out the obvious flaws in that argument (namely that our grandparents embraced technologies we are thankful for and also beholden to today). I have found that most people who are set staunchly against 'green' living are totally with me on these two lines of thinking and that eases the tension enough for us to move on...agreeing to disagree or ready to find more understanding. It is not my job to convince anyone to change their ways but I will be open and honest with my friends about why I do what I do if I am asked, hopefully I do it with tact so that my ideas do not seem as nutty to them.
Let's say the conversation is about why I would buy a $10 low e lightbulb...of course I do it for the ecological reasons but I would happily tell them how much money it saves. You can't easily argue with saving money and they might even pick one up- but if I would have gone at it from the saving the planet platform I would have been shut out immediately.
Warmly, Rebekka
www.bebebella.etsy.com
As a woman I have no country. As a woman, my country is the whole world.
Virginia Woolf |
Edited by - Rebekka Mae on Mar 23 2008 8:47:13 PM |
|
|
|
doglady
True Blue Farmgirl
435 Posts
Tina
Howard
Ohio
USA
435 Posts |
Posted - Mar 23 2008 : 9:05:36 PM
|
I too have received many comments about how cheap I am. But when someone makes a remark about it, I simply tell them that "yep, I'm frugal and proud of it and I smile all the way to the bank!" They are usually the ones asking for my recipes of home baked goods. In my family I'm known as the Coupon Queen and my sister is known as the Queen of Cheap Entertainment. The best way, of course, is just to smile and continue on your way as you usually do. With the high price of gas and food, just be thankful that you are the one who knows how to live cheap - I mean frugal. : )
Tina
You can tell your dog all of your secrets and they'll never say a word!
www.kennelcreations.com |
|
|
|
catscharm74
True Blue Farmgirl
4687 Posts
Heather
Texas
USA
4687 Posts |
Posted - Mar 23 2008 : 9:19:06 PM
|
Tina- you sound like me and when we are able to retire at 50 and work because we want to, we will see who is laughing last!!! HA!!! My family laughs at my "fallout" storage system, as they like to call it but I am ready for anything, for the most part and I save $$$.
Cheers,
Heather
FARMGIRL #90 |
|
|
|
Annab
True Blue Farmgirl
2900 Posts
Anna
Seagrove
NC
USA
2900 Posts |
Posted - Mar 24 2008 : 03:33:35 AM
|
It's all about education as in giving the ignorant soul an education about living "green".
But it's more than just P C for most of us I hope. It's a lifestyle not only about leaving minimal impact on the world, but bettering ourselves and those around us-from the inside out.
If someone doesn't want to eat organically or more healthfully, I'd say its their loss.
Ture, so much of what we support does cost more, but the average joe doesn't realize what exactally goes into the products and the monumental efforts it takes.
So what if some of us dry cloths on the line or make our meals from scratch---didn't everyone do this at one time anyway??
I don't consider these examples to be steps backward either, I'd say it's just simpler. When your clothes line breaks I bet you spend far less on repairs than when your "friend's" machine breaks.
So sorry for the city slickers who cram their days so full of "stuff" that they don't have time for home cooked meals, chats by the fence with neighbors and walks in their own city parks.
I wouldn't lose a wink of sleep over this fool
Just like religious freaks who cram and slam a bible over your head, the same can be said for extreme environmentalists. There are always a few who ruin it for the rest and cause the ignorant fools to judge based on their own negative experiences. |
|
|
|
idcityrose
True Blue Farmgirl
202 Posts
Rose
Idaho City
Idaho
USA
202 Posts |
Posted - Mar 28 2008 : 07:19:59 AM
|
I have reached the point in life where peoples comments no longer affect me like they used to. I finally decided that I did not need to justify the way I live to anyone. Some people know that they can "wound" you by their comments and do this for sport. It takes two to make it work and if one will not react the other will eventally find someone else to jab at.
I have a saying from Dr. Seuss on my bulletin board at work that states:
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don"t mind"
Dr. Seuss.
I also believe in the power of one. One can person can cause a ripple effect and that will eventually have an impact in this world. That is why you need never apologize to anyone for trying to make the world a better and healthier place.
We are never alone in the forest of Sisters! We "Mountain Farmgirls" are outstanding in our field! |
|
|
|
chicken necker
True Blue Farmgirl
509 Posts
Sherry
Eastern Shore
Maryland
USA
509 Posts |
Posted - Mar 28 2008 : 2:16:16 PM
|
i've haven't read all the posts yet, but I have a feeling my response would be and actually has been quite different than the posts I've read. I consider myself decently intelligent (pat self on back with out breaking arm  ) and ignorance drives me insane! Add that to the fact that I can be sarcastic and smile at the same time!
One of my inlaws asked why I had to be such a "beatnik?" when I brought a homemade organic dessert to a family function (loudly, with a big old chuckle) I simply replied "Because my arms aren't as long as yours." She responded with a guffaw, for lack of a better word, as if I were retarded. Later in the day, someone else drew me aside and said "Good one".
In other words, I was implying she was acting like a Neanderthal and possibly should EVOLVE! 
Don't get me wrong. I don't go around spouting my view as if it were gospel and I certainly don't try to make enemies. But after awhile, I get sick of being made fun of and have to react. Besides, she didn't get it, so no harm done, LOL!
FarmGirl Sister #123
Crafty Bay FarmGirls Chapter
Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the difference. |
|
|
|
Past Blessings
True Blue Farmgirl
1083 Posts
Brenda
Orchard Prairie
WA
USA
1083 Posts |
Posted - Mar 28 2008 : 2:36:52 PM
|
I have come to realize being "green" is something you can share with others, but can't expect everyone to embrace. I find it interesting at what is considered "yuppie" or "trendy" green verses what is considered "over the top" green. For instance, we purchased a Toyota Prius Hybrid car in January. It gets incredible gas mileage and burns very clean. Everyone seems so impressed. But when I mention cleaning with vinegar and even washing my hair with baking soda and vinegar, they act like I am a freak. So I handle such things on an individual basis. Some people are very open to such things while others will use it to make fun of. But in the end, if someone makes fun of me for being green, I usually make some sarcastic comeback like, "So am I supposed to feel dumb for protecting our environment for future generations? Hmmm . . . I thought you loved your kids more than that . . ."
Hugs & blessings,
Brenda
Past Blessings . . . Celebrating Life as it used to be . . . when people loved God, loved their families and loved their country. |
|
|
| |
Across the Fence: What do you say to.... |
|
What do you say to....
