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Across the Fence:  a lil lost and confused about men  |
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bohemiangel
True Blue Farmgirl
2087 Posts
Bridget
Ligonier
pa
USA
2087 Posts |
 Posted - Jan 27 2008 : 3:41:34 PM
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Hey girls. Well today I'm having a rough time again. I had a stressful night. My g-ma (mammy) had some hip problems and was in extreme pain and went to the ER at 12am-5am. She's ok but not 100% yet. I haven't seen the bf today and I'm a little annoyed. I feel like I am not a priority right now. I'm letting him be with the boys but I'm getting impatient. I feel so like I'm in HS with men. I don't know what to do. I get confused. I have hardly any gfs that are around or if they are they have families of their own or are with their bfs. I have a few guy friends but once they get gfs they aren't "allowed" to hang out with girls. I'm just so lonely. I'm getting things done in the house but man. Any advice? I know I'm always asking for some. Sorry!
**~~Farmgirl Sister #60~~**
"... to thine ownself be true."
http://liggygirl.blogspot.com/
http://liggygirlslonggreen.blogspot.com/
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Edited by - bohemiangel on Jan 27 2008 4:05:20 PM |
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BarefootGoatGirl
True Blue Farmgirl
1495 Posts
Corrine
North Carolina
USA
1495 Posts |
Posted - Jan 27 2008 : 4:50:08 PM
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i so feel for you girl. as a single mom, i am pretty much out of the loop in everything. its like single mom's can only have friendships with other single moms, but then single moms are so busy trying to be 2 parents none of us really have time for relationships. i have some great friends i've known for forever and i know they would do anything for me, but i hate to intrude on thier lives and take time away from their husbands. i guess the only advice i can give you is to hang in there. do what ever it takes to keep yourself busy and make sure you treat yourself once in a while.
What we write today slipped into our souls some other day when we were alone and doing nothing.
-Brenda Ueland
http://quilandneedle.blogspot.com/ |
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bohemiangel
True Blue Farmgirl
2087 Posts
Bridget
Ligonier
pa
USA
2087 Posts |
Posted - Jan 27 2008 : 4:56:33 PM
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Oh Corrine, hey tried to add you it didn't work I think, I'm adeelzbabe try that? Yeah it's like lonely but i have a bazillion friends but most are busy or not here and it really makes me sad. I tend to feel the worst on sundays. I'm being patient and giving him space but I'm sick of being with him when its convenient for him. I just can't wait till the weather is good and I do yard work, garden, hike, travel etc. We did have the ice festival today where bizes pay to get ice carved and it was great. He said he wanted to look at them but instead went with his friend and out to eat. I went with my mum and had fun but he's on my mind. We haven't fought at all lately but I'm getting tired.
**~~Farmgirl Sister #60~~**
"... to thine ownself be true."
http://liggygirl.blogspot.com/
http://liggygirlslonggreen.blogspot.com/
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Amie C.
True Blue Farmgirl
2099 Posts
Finger Lakes Region
NY
2099 Posts |
Posted - Jan 27 2008 : 4:58:35 PM
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That attitude that being part of a couple puts you off limits to everyone else has always seemed weird to me. But it seems to be the norm, so I'm not sure what to do about it. Do any of your boyfriend's buddies have girlfriends? Maybe you could go out as a group.
I don't know what your relationship is like, but I can tell you that I only had a vague idea about my husband's family for the first year or so that we were together. I found out later that my boyfriend himself had a serious bout of pneumonia that I never even knew about. He didn't call for a week or two, and I had no idea he had been so sick until he was better. I think it just takes a longer time than you might expect for people to start thinking of their significant other as being involved in every part of their life.
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Shirlaroo
True Blue Farmgirl
297 Posts
Shirley
Australia
297 Posts |
Posted - Jan 27 2008 : 5:36:55 PM
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Hi Bridget. Be brave and put yourself out there. Do volunteer work at your local school, hospital or library and just watch new freinds pour in. And just remember girl, you always have good friends here. email me any time you feel like a chat, I'd love to get to know you better! Remeber to talk to your bf, men are not good at reading minds. Hope your Grandma is feeling better.
Friends are the best collectables. |
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Peanut
True Blue Farmgirl
603 Posts
Jennifer
Waverly
Virginia
USA
603 Posts |
Posted - Jan 28 2008 : 05:43:14 AM
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Here's the best advice I'd ever heard...
Don't make someone else your priority when you are their option.
"What is a farm but a mute gospel?"
Ralph Waldo Emerson |
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CountryBorn
True Blue Farmgirl
1545 Posts
Mary Jane
New York
USA
1545 Posts |
Posted - Jan 28 2008 : 06:30:47 AM
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Peanut, I couldn't of said it any better than that. Which I think is something way too many women do.
MJ
There can be no happiness if the things we believe in are different from the things we do. Freya Stark |
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Linder
True Blue Farmgirl
592 Posts
Linda
Lake Forest
IL
USA
592 Posts |
Posted - Jan 28 2008 : 09:53:19 AM
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Mornin' Bridget!
Well, here's my advice for what's it's worth, so take what you need and throw the rest away! :)
Instead of focusing on what he's not doing, take a few moments to acknowledge what he's doing right! You could tell him or just have a think on it...kind of like a gratitude list.
Also what I know for a fact is that people in general are attracted to people that are happy and having fun!
How about making a list of all the things you love to do and start seeking out some pleasure for yourself! When the energy shifts and you are in a place of abundance rather than lack it always seems to me that friends and lovers gravitate to you and that's such a wonderful feeling!
When I start feeling this way about my boyfriend, a very close friend of mine reminds me that if I sweep my sided of the street the other side (his side) magically get swept to!
Hope this helps!
And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk to blossom |
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Linder
True Blue Farmgirl
592 Posts
Linda
Lake Forest
IL
USA
592 Posts |
Posted - Jan 28 2008 : 09:56:07 AM
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Shirley!
I had to laugh when I read your post! My Mother ALWAYS said to my Step-Father "I'm not a mind-reader!" It's SO true.
And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk to blossom |
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Forrester Farm
True Blue Farmgirl
703 Posts
Ann
Belmont
MI
USA
703 Posts |
Posted - Jan 28 2008 : 10:08:54 AM
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Linda,
So true not just about relationships, but also situations, everyday life, etc. To be thankful everyday is a journey worth taking! (It can sure take practice though!)
For you single mom's out there.... it is hard, I know!!!! I was a single mom for 4 years. I always told my friends that God was going to have to drop someone in my lap. When you are working and caring for children - between available time and not wanting to expose your children (and yourself) to more hurt - why date? I'm so thankful that God literally dropped my husband in my lap in the most pleasant and surprising way - and it is the best relationship that I've ever had!
Take heart Bridget, relationships are complicated. Be the best "YOU" that you can be and just see what happens!
Ann
http://annforrester.tohe.com
http://forresterfarm.etsy.com
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bohemiangel
True Blue Farmgirl
2087 Posts
Bridget
Ligonier
pa
USA
2087 Posts |
Posted - Jan 28 2008 : 10:36:26 AM
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I know what I like about him, but when I can't express why I'm hurt then that is what upsets me. He didn't have 2 seconds to talk and make things better. He has flaws and good qualities. I know I do too, but darnit I'm a really great gf and I know that. I am so honest, loving, reliable, true-blue, etc. You really can't ask for more. I just like a lil time or acknowledgment from him. I feel taken for granted or like last choice below friends.
**~~Farmgirl Sister #60~~**
"... to thine ownself be true."
http://liggygirl.blogspot.com/
http://liggygirlslonggreen.blogspot.com/
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Linder
True Blue Farmgirl
592 Posts
Linda
Lake Forest
IL
USA
592 Posts |
Posted - Jan 28 2008 : 10:47:16 AM
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Amen Ann!
And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk to blossom |
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bohemiangel
True Blue Farmgirl
2087 Posts
Bridget
Ligonier
pa
USA
2087 Posts |
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Peanut
True Blue Farmgirl
603 Posts
Jennifer
Waverly
Virginia
USA
603 Posts |
Posted - Jan 28 2008 : 12:49:43 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by bohemiangel
I guess I'm more into the relationship than he is...
**~~Farmgirl Sister #60~~**
"... to thine ownself be true."
http://liggygirl.blogspot.com/
http://liggygirlslonggreen.blogspot.com/
And you deserve better than that. Trust me, it won't ever get any better.
Great relationships age like wine - they just get better.
Iffy relationships just get moldy and even worse.
I'd encourage you to get out and hold out for better. You don't constantly want to feel like you're chasing someone, do you? I always detested that feeling.
"What is a farm but a mute gospel?"
Ralph Waldo Emerson |
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KYgurlsrbest
True Blue Farmgirl
4853 Posts
Jonni
Elsmere
Kentucky
USA
4853 Posts |
Posted - Jan 28 2008 : 12:52:30 PM
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I've been reading this thread and I think I finally have something to say...it sounds to me like you "give" more. Some guys are oblivious, but this one (forgive me) sounds self absorbed and if he isn't considerate of your feelings, or needs, then why expend so much energy on him....If you like him and you feel he's worth it, then....focus on yourself, hang out with friends, go hiking, make yourself generally unavailable, and I can almost guarantee he'll suddenly remember you exist. I have a lot of guy friends and it appears to me that men like the chase, and when the chase is over, or if it's too easy, then they back off. Relationships are work for sure, but they shouldn't be manipulation and games!
Farmgirl Sister #80, thanks to a very special farmgirl from the Bluegrass..."She was built like a watch, a study in balance ... with a neck and head so refined, like a drawing by DaVinci"...
NY Newsday sportswriter Bill Nack describing filly, Ruffian.
http://www.buyhandmade.org/ |
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nubidane
True Blue Farmgirl
2881 Posts
Lisa
Georgetown
OH
2881 Posts |
Posted - Jan 28 2008 : 2:56:39 PM
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I don't mean to sound negative either, but there is a saying that has been going around for a while, I think it originated on "Sex & the City", & there is even a guy that wrote a book?, I think on it "He's just not that into you"
YOu deserve better. YOu are a smart creative Farmgirl..
I love what Jennifer (Peanut) said
"Don't make someone else your priority when you are their option."
& like Jonni said as soon as you have other plans, he'll come around, but by then, you may be onto something better!
I had one bfriend in particular that was like that, & it was SO not worth it when I look back. My hubby is such a great guy,; he is there for me for whatever I need.
HUGS here
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bohemiangel
True Blue Farmgirl
2087 Posts
Bridget
Ligonier
pa
USA
2087 Posts |
Posted - Jan 28 2008 : 3:26:30 PM
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Well now that I'm busy and somewhat avoiding him today he is burning up the cell with calls and texts... I've had similar/same issues with exs I think it's how I am and how men are. I don't know. lol
**~~Farmgirl Sister #60~~**
"... to thine ownself be true."
http://liggygirl.blogspot.com/
http://liggygirlslonggreen.blogspot.com/
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Across the Fence: a lil lost and confused about men |
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a lil lost and confused about men
