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Family Matters:  A vent about MY family...  |
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goneriding
True Blue Farmgirl
1599 Posts
Winona
Central Oregon
USA
1599 Posts |
 Posted - Dec 25 2007 : 7:00:28 PM
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This is Christmas and this year, my hubby and I broke our tushies to get to my daughters respective towns to visit. Our company pulled a cat out of the hat to get us here.
So we get to my younger daughter's town, she knows we are coming and she has presents for my grandkids for me to pick up and deliver. So we get to town and I have called about 15 times in the previous 2 hours and no answer. I left msgs too. So we get to town, fueled our big rig and then piddled around waiting to hear from her. Nothing. Finally we had to go to get to the next town with my widowed daughter and g-kids.
We get to the next town and I get a call from younger duaghter about how 'crappy' it was that I didn't wait around for her. I was so upset I ended up hanging up on her after saying a curt goodbye.
Then my widowed daughter showed up with the g-kids and we had a 'discussion' about how hard it was for us to get there and she had wanted to spend time with her MIL whom she sees every day instead of us. I was just upset. It probably cost our company and us about $1500 (I'm not kidding) to reroute our trips and synch everything for us, as it's a one time only favor, never to be asked again.
I don't know...my widowed daughter and I talked it all out but I'm still upset with my younger daughter.
I seem to have such trouble with families, y'know?? The upside is that my son and DIL are just great and no problems there...I guess it could be worse...
Winona 
When you lose, don't lose the lesson!!
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catscharm74
True Blue Farmgirl
4687 Posts
Heather
Texas
USA
4687 Posts |
Posted - Dec 25 2007 : 9:19:39 PM
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Oh Winona!!! ((((HUGS))) Believe me, you are not by yourself within your family...mine is just as bad. I have really honestly resorted to taking care of my DH and DS and myself and the dog and if they care to participate, they can CALL me and let me know. I no longer go out of my way. I finally learned that my "family" are the people who I am surrounded by, who really care about me and my life. DS has "adopted" Grandma's and Grandpa's and Aunties and Uncles, since our families are not around. These people are kind and generous and caring and my family can't figure out why I go out of my way for them and not my blood family... Hmmm...take a big guess??
Please don't let this way on your mind. You are a wonderful, heart felt person for doing what you do. Next year, take the $1500 and go to a spa with your DH or someone special. Stop feeling guilty or sad...
Cheers,
Heather |
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greyghost
True Blue Farmgirl
650 Posts
Lynn
Summerville
Georgia
USA
650 Posts |
Posted - Dec 25 2007 : 9:56:07 PM
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Why are the holidays so hard?
We bust our tushies too, but this year we drew the line after having to run everywhere for Thanksgiving and not being appreicated for all that time, money, and effort. My hubby's family is fine, with exception of a few members, mine is the messy one. I feel closer to my neighbors than I do my family anymore. Mine is full of miscommunications and old hurts - and I am the one hurting. I didn't go to Illinois for Christmas this year because I knew I could not be under the same roof with them, especially when Mom and Grandma tend to go at it. It kills me not to be there, I love my Grandma so much, but... the extended family does not need to have a scene between myself and my mother! I will go up later, Grandma will teach me how to make preserves, and I think that is better time spent than a hectic holiday with little to no time to visit.
Have a nice hot bath, try to let it go. It's hard though, isn't it? (((hugs))) |
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junkjunkie
True Blue Farmgirl
1306 Posts
Judy
Lawrenceville
NJ
USA
1306 Posts |
Posted - Dec 26 2007 : 08:00:18 AM
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Holidays seem to bring out the worst in some families. Instead of going to my sister or niece's home for Christmas, I volunteered to work yesterday (we're sort of on the outs now)...and you know....seriously, it really was a very pleasant day for me. It was a really quiet day, the weather was beautiful, and I put on a classic radio station and sung to the hymnes. Because there was hardly any work, I decided to take a walk around town, and stopped in a beautiful chapel. There were a lot of people out yesterday. Nearby, there's a church that has a nativity scene with live animals....sheep, goats and donkeys. I went there to visit and pet them, and it was when everyone started to come out of the church. People were nice and said "Merry Christmas" to each other. I thought that it would be a horrible day, but like I said, I came home in a good mood. When I usually go to my family on the holiday, there's always that undercurrent of tension and uneasiness between us, even though it may turn to look (outwardly) like a good day. I always come home feeling kinda crappy and it takes a couple of days to get over it.
"To have life in focus, we must have death in our field of vision." Benedictine monk John Main |
Edited by - junkjunkie on Dec 26 2007 08:02:20 AM |
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Family Matters: A vent about MY family... |
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A vent about MY family...
