MaryJanesFarm Farmgirl Connection
Join in ... sign up
 
Home | Profile | Register | Active Topics | Members | Search | FAQ
Username:
Password:
Save Password        REGISTER
Forgot your Password?

 All Forums
 General Chat Forum
 Across the Fence
 How do you stop a tantrum?
 New Topic  Reply to Topic
 Printer Friendly
Author Across the Fence: Previous Topic How do you stop a tantrum? Next Topic  

Shirlaroo
True Blue Farmgirl

297 Posts

Shirley

Australia
297 Posts

Posted - Aug 05 2007 :  10:14:06 PM  Show Profile
My 21 month old son woke from his nap about half an hour ago, and hasn't stopped screaming. Oh my, how do I deal with this.

Friends are the best collectables.

Edited by - Shirlaroo on Aug 06 2007 6:45:16 PM

Libbie
Farmgirl Connection Cultivator

3579 Posts

Anne E.
Elsinore Utah
USA
3579 Posts

Posted - Aug 05 2007 :  10:26:41 PM  Show Profile
What about a radical change of scenery - a walk, a run through the sprinklers? Sometimes with my little one, I can suggest things like - gee, you seem to have SO much energy right now, lets go outside and kick a ball like crazy or things like that. Ugh - tantrums are so challenging sometimes - you're doing great!!! Don't take it personally - we all need to let off steam, and I think that sometimes that's the only way little ones know how. I'm not sure that is true, but I need to believe it to keep myself sane! Hugs!!!!

XOXO, Libbie

Go to Top of Page

Shirlaroo
True Blue Farmgirl

297 Posts

Shirley

Australia
297 Posts

Posted - Aug 05 2007 :  10:43:42 PM  Show Profile
Thank God my husband has just walked in the door and has taken him off for a ride in the paddock. He loves to look at the cattle. He is a real farmboy. Mind you I could still hear him screaming as they rode off into the sunset! I'm off to do some scrapbooking to wind myself down.

Friends are the best collectables.

Edited by - Shirlaroo on Aug 05 2007 10:47:26 PM
Go to Top of Page

Firemama
True Blue Farmgirl

1731 Posts

Amanda
Medical Lake WA
USA
1731 Posts

Posted - Aug 06 2007 :  09:41:44 AM  Show Profile  Send Firemama a Yahoo! Message
Shirley, Walk away my dear, walk away. LoL. Jk like Libbie sais we all have to blow off some steam once in awhile. I second the scenary change, def. do not coddle or give in. It sounds like you are doing a great job though.

Mommy to 2
Your FreckleFaced Farm Girl!!
Help when you can, Pray when you can't.
Go to Top of Page

DaisyFarm
True Blue Farmgirl

1646 Posts

Diane
Victoria BC
Canada
1646 Posts

Posted - Aug 06 2007 :  10:31:56 AM  Show Profile
I agree with Amanda. I remember DD when she was about 2 seeing a little guy in the grocery store having a full-on meltdown. She tried it later that afternoon at home. I looked at her, laughed, and walked out of the room. She was mad as heck, but never did it again.

Does your little guy have tantrums often Shirley? The reason I ask, is it possible he might have an ear infection or be incubating a virus of some sort? Seems everytime I played hardball with that kind of behavior they would have something like that and I would end up with a good dose of mommy-guilt!

Di
Go to Top of Page

gateway girl
True Blue Farmgirl

135 Posts

Shari
Missouri
USA
135 Posts

Posted - Aug 06 2007 :  3:48:59 PM  Show Profile
Shirley,
When my kids were little I used to whisper to them. It would drive them crazy because their screams would drown out what I was saying. They would have to quiet down to hear me. Most of the time I was saying things like "I know you are crabby right now but I really don't like it when you scream at me. If you calm down I have something special for you." That something special could be anything from a cookie, to a toy, to a walk to the park. Anything to reaffirm that good behavior is what made Mommy happy. And we all know when Mommy is happy everyone is happy! Try the whisper and see if it works for you. This worked on me and my 10 siblings and it worked on my four. It might take a couple times for him to know you are talking and he can't hear you but he'll catch on.

Shari


Life is a chain of moments of enjoyment, it's not just about survival. Live every second to it's fullest!

Go to Top of Page

Kathie
True Blue Farmgirl

2436 Posts

Kathie
Thonotosassa Florida
USA
2436 Posts

Posted - Aug 06 2007 :  4:34:50 PM  Show Profile
When mine were little I'd walk away to.. into another room usualy.. & pick up something that i needed to be doing.. dishes..laundry or something.. showing them that yes.. i did have some things to do while they blew off steam.. If they were going to insist on levitating & spinning across the floor.. But i know THIS almost ALWAYS seemed to fiersly aggrevate them..they would almost always scream louder.. It passes though.. As they learn to communicate with words & actions better.. they learn that fit throwing doesn't get quite the effect they wished it would..( hopefully)
Now with grown kids of my own.... i can tell you something SO Hilarious that i Just Love to do.... i can do this because I'm far enough away that you can't reach me.. I get the biggest kick out sitting back & relaxing somewhere that is busy as all get out.. With my husband.. getting a nice spot in the shade.. & watching the show.. I can sit for HOURS at Disney for instance.. & just watch parent's with kids that are throwing the biggest fits!! naturally it's hot as can be.. these kids have absolutely HAD it.. & are rising off the ground & Spewing Green Pea Soup!
Something so soothing about this to me.. really.. It's as if it all comes full circle or something.. & the memories all come flooding back!!
So.. As much as i miss Mine being teeny again.. this is just comic relief..

ok.. I love ya girls.. Just letting you see that they Do out grow it all.. & you will look back & have a great giggle about it all..

I remember once my Grandfather was standing at the kitchen sink getting a drink of water & my brother was throwing a tantrum on the floor behind him.. naturally he was being ignored.. & when my Grandpa finished his water.. he filled another glass up.. & tossed it at my brother.. !
Sure he still cried.. but it was a whole different cry then!
I wonder if he remembers that? I do!! I'll have to ask him.. ! I was about 6 or 7 so he must have been 2 or 3 maybe..
Can't remember what my Mom said about it all..but i know I sure thought it was pretty funny.. !




In a World Where you Can Be Anything, Be Yourself..
Go to Top of Page

Past Blessings
True Blue Farmgirl

1083 Posts

Brenda
Orchard Prairie WA
USA
1083 Posts

Posted - Aug 06 2007 :  6:10:44 PM  Show Profile
My mom had the best cure ever . . . my brother tried a tantrum once. So she told him since he obviously wanted attention he had better keep doing it! She "made" him kick and scream until he was crying and exhausted! LOL! He never tried it again!

Brenda

Past Blessings . . . Celebrating Life as it used to be . . . when people loved God, loved their families and loved their country.
Go to Top of Page

Shirlaroo
True Blue Farmgirl

297 Posts

Shirley

Australia
297 Posts

Posted - Aug 06 2007 :  6:59:53 PM  Show Profile
Thanks girls for all the valuable information. I will definitly be using it in the future. Diane, he is not 100% well. This combined with poor communication (so frustrating for both of us) is the mian catalyst for tantrums. I just have to keep reminding myself that this phase will end.

Friends are the best collectables.

Edited by - Shirlaroo on Aug 06 2007 7:06:13 PM
Go to Top of Page

Alee
True Blue Farmgirl

22941 Posts

Alee
Worland Wy
USA
22941 Posts

Posted - Aug 06 2007 :  7:33:35 PM  Show Profile  Send Alee a Yahoo! Message
Well, if my mom knew we were doing it just to get some attention or to misbehave, not because of frustration because of trying to communicate something, she would laugh at us and walk away. Believe you me! That was _not_ what we were going for. So we would carry on for a while, but once we figured out that she wasn't going to give us anything while we were screaming- we learned really fast not to try the temper tantrum thing.

I know it is so hard hearing our babies cry though- isn't it?

Alee
The amazing one handed typist! One hand for typing, one hand to hold Nora!
http://home.test-afl.tulix.com/aleeandnora/
Go to Top of Page

KYgurlsrbest
True Blue Farmgirl

4853 Posts

Jonni
Elsmere Kentucky
USA
4853 Posts

Posted - Aug 06 2007 :  8:54:14 PM  Show Profile
I don't recommend, certainly, but I was told that my first and only attempt at a tantrum--to first scream and kick, and then hold my breath until I turned blue, resulted in absolute failure.
Both mom and dad watched me until I was out of breath, dad casually reading his newspaper. He put it down, and picked me up by the back of my pants, swatted me once on the behind, set me upright and sent me to my room. Mom said I never tried it again :) Ahh, the 70's!!!

"She was built like a watch, a study in balance ... with a neck and head so refined, like a drawing by DaVinci"...
NY Newsday sportswriter Bill Nack describing filly, Ruffian.
Go to Top of Page

frannie
True Blue Farmgirl

2246 Posts

fran
bonham texas
USA
2246 Posts

Posted - Aug 06 2007 :  9:04:06 PM  Show Profile  Send frannie a Yahoo! Message
i usually go out in the yard and scream and rant and rave and vent and cry and then.........oh you mean when a child has a tantrum
uh, never mind.

love
fran

(http://farmfolks-frannie.blogspot.com/)
Go to Top of Page

Alee
True Blue Farmgirl

22941 Posts

Alee
Worland Wy
USA
22941 Posts

Posted - Aug 06 2007 :  9:37:13 PM  Show Profile  Send Alee a Yahoo! Message
You are all going to laugh at me- I must be tired because when I first read this I thought you said that your "21 year old" son was having a temper tantrum!

Alee
The amazing one handed typist! One hand for typing, one hand to hold Nora!
http://home.test-afl.tulix.com/aleeandnora/
Go to Top of Page

Aunt Jenny
True Blue Farmgirl

11381 Posts

Jenny
middle of Utah
USA
11381 Posts

Posted - Aug 06 2007 :  9:50:30 PM  Show Profile
I always did the ..check to make sure nothing is really wrong..and then walk away sort of thing. I would try (not always successful of course) to calmly say that when they could use their words or calm down I would hold them and talk and things would get better..but until they stopped the tantrum there is just "nothing Mommy can do, so sorry". It almost always worked.

Jenny in Utah
Inside me there is a skinny woman crying to get out...but I can usually shut her up with cookies
http://www.auntjennysworld.blogspot.com/ visit my little online shop at www.auntjenny.etsy.com
Go to Top of Page

_Rebecca_
True Blue Farmgirl

568 Posts

Rebecca
OK
USA
568 Posts

Posted - Aug 07 2007 :  2:14:19 PM  Show Profile
If it happens again, put him back in his crib w/some cool toys, a few board books and maybe a little snack. Then shut the door. He'll come around.
Sometimes they wake up on the wrong side of their cage.

Just because they've had a nap doesn't guarantee they won't be monsters again when they wake up.

Even the most easy going children sometimes wake up in a foul mood. It just happens. Low blood sugar, or something. Who knows.

My husband does the same thing. LOL!

.·:*¨¨* :·.Rebecca.·:*¨¨* :·. http://boinglink.blogspot.com/

Edited by - _Rebecca_ on Aug 07 2007 2:15:55 PM
Go to Top of Page

mommatracy
True Blue Farmgirl

490 Posts

Tracy
My. Olive NC
USA
490 Posts

Posted - Aug 07 2007 :  3:09:36 PM  Show Profile
When my daughter was 2yrs old she would occasionally get in a snit at my MIL house. She would sit on the floor in the den and act like she was beating her forehead into the floor. She would bump her head on the floor and try to cry then look at me to see my reaction. I ignored her. One day she decided to bang her head a little harder to get my attention and she really slammed her head against the floor too hard and boy did it hurt. She was so shocked she started screaming and crying. I laughed at her and asked her to please do it again because it was so funny. That child Never pulled that stunt again.
Go to Top of Page
  Across the Fence: Previous Topic How do you stop a tantrum? Next Topic  
 New Topic  Reply to Topic
 Printer Friendly
Jump To:
Snitz Forums 2000 Go To Top Of Page