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Across the Fence:  A small rant on manners  |
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Kim
True Blue Farmgirl
146 Posts
Kim
Pflugerville
Texas
USA
146 Posts |
 Posted - May 02 2007 : 09:40:49 AM
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I am so happy this was started! I NEVER get thank you notes from my cousins, to whom I have always sent Christmas presents to. This past Christmas, as hard as it was, I didn't even acknowledge them. But I am sure no one will notice either. It is SO sad.
I had to laugh at the above post on calling people Miss/Mrs or Mr. After 27 years out of high school, I still refer to my girlfriends dad as "Mr So and So". (There are some I am on a first name basis with).
I get so annoyed with people who don't RSVP. Whether it is regrets only or not.
Maybe MJ should put out a FarmGirls Book of Manners!!
Blessed Be!
farmgirl@heart
"Go confidently in the directions of your dreams; live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler." - Henry David Thoreau
http://chevy49girl.livejournal.com/
http://midwestmusings-kim.blogspot.com/
http://chevy49girl.deviantart.com/ |
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Beemoosie
True Blue Farmgirl
2077 Posts
Bonnie
New York
USA
2077 Posts |
Posted - May 02 2007 : 10:57:43 AM
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Sarah, I agree with you! Manners have gone by the wayside and it shouldn't be acceptable! My big peeve is Thanks Yous when you are given a gift. I think this really ties in on the topic I started this morning about gift registries; many people think they "deserve" everything, hence there is no reason to use manners.
Very sad
My soul magnifies the Lord, And my spirit rejoices in God my Savior. Luke 1:46,47
www.beequilting.blogspot.com
http://beemoosie-picture-diary.blogspot.com/ |
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blueroses
True Blue Farmgirl
1323 Posts
Debbie
in the Pandhandle of
Idaho
USA
1323 Posts |
Posted - May 02 2007 : 11:09:28 AM
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Hi Constance,
I don't think there's any point in saying anything to MIL & SIL now. Some people (my Aunt Ro for example) either have no clue, or have a clue but just don't care. You were a loving and kind DIL to do what you did for both your DH & FIL. You can rest easy knowing you granted his last wish and that you did your best under really rude circumstances. I'm just glad that your DH realizes what went down. But..that being said, I'm with the DH - I wouldn't have any of them back at my place, at least not for a good long while.
"You cannot find peace...by avoiding life."
Virginia Woolfe |
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Luzy
True Blue Farmgirl
922 Posts
Luanne
Pueblo
Colorado
USA
922 Posts |
Posted - May 02 2007 : 11:32:40 AM
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Oh my gosh! Where to start? I have a niece and nephew that have no manners whatsoever! Their mother is hard of hearing, so that's the excuse. I say, well she has two good eyes and she can SEE how they behave! It has gotten so bad that we don't go out in public with them anymore. They literally run a muck in restaurants. The boy came up on a man standing in line and tackled him from behind, while the girl is crawling under the tables!!!They were 8 and 10 yrs old. How can anyone let their kids behave like this?? Oh, and forget about taking them shopping! I also hate not getting a thank you, even verbally, when I've given a gift. Chances are that person won't be getting another gift from us! I'm just sick of it! Also, recently Hubby and I splurged and went to an evening movie and had a family sitting behind us with monsters for children. When I asked the kid not to kick the back of my chair, the Mom replied, he's just being a kid!!!! THEN halfway through the movie a mom with a crying baby came in and sat 2 seats away from me! After 10 minutes of that I went and got the manager and they asked her to leave. What's wrong with people nowadays!!!
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May I always be the kind of person my dog thinks I am. |
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KYgurlsrbest
True Blue Farmgirl
4853 Posts
Jonni
Elsmere
Kentucky
USA
4853 Posts |
Posted - May 02 2007 : 11:58:54 AM
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Wow. I forgot about addressing my own thank you envelopes. I thought it was a little weird, too. Almost every shower, bridal or baby or housewarming I've been to that I've done this, I always feel like it's a comment on my life for some reason....that the hosts are saying "YOU may have time to do thank you's, but, the extremely important extremely busy bride (or mom to be, new homeowner,8 year old birthday boy :))will NEVER have time out of their BUSY schedule to address a couple of tiny envelopes each night!
I often think about our friends, who got married and then flew to England and Ireland for 3 weeks on their honeymoon. Our card was mailed from England. She wrote her thank you's on the 8 hour flight over and dropped them in the post when she got there. She is my hero :)
"In the spring, at the end of the day, you should smell like dirt." Margaret Atwood
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lisamarie508
True Blue Farmgirl
2648 Posts
Lisa
Idaho City
ID
USA
2648 Posts |
Posted - May 02 2007 : 12:46:12 PM
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I can't understand why people have such a hard time controlling thier children. If control was ever done in the earliest years it would be no problem later. My children knew "the look" and always behaved in public, pleases and thank yous and everything. Kids screaming and running around in stores, restaurants; even the library is extremely annoying and rude of the parents to allow it. The comment "just being kids" is more like "just being rude obnoxious kids out of control".
I love the t shirt idea and maybe bumper stickers, too? If MJ ever wanted to do a small book on manners that would be a lot of fun. I know a lot of people (some children) that I would buy it for. Even if I don't get a thank you note. Somehow manners and courtesy need to be brought back. Why not through us?
We come from Nature, we go back to Nature; health & happiness in between requires intimacy with Nature. |
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Alee
True Blue Farmgirl
22941 Posts
Alee
Worland
Wy
USA
22941 Posts |
Posted - May 02 2007 : 1:12:26 PM
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I agree that manners are a dying are that desperately need CPR! Manners are the oil that lubricates civilization. Without proper manners, it makes it harder for people with different personalities to work together.
I must make a confession though- I love to write thank you notes for the things people gift me, but I am horrible about follow through. I have often opened a draw to find all the cards still stacked up- addressed and everything- because I had to tidy up really quick and lost track of them.
I vow to make a better effort to write Thank You cards in a timely manner!
I also want to go buy a "Miss Manners" book, just to brush up on my own manners. I know my parents taught my sisters and I manners, but I think one of those books would be fun to read.
Alee
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steeleyedjack
Farmgirl in Training
32 Posts
Constance
Erwinna
PA
USA
32 Posts |
Posted - May 02 2007 : 4:14:20 PM
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Debbie,
Thank you! Your note made me feel so much better. You're right. I will do a special meditation to let go of the negative stuff and get on with the joyful farmgirl life. hmmmm can't put that in tupperware and haul it off can they? lol
"You may be on the right track, but you'll get run over if you just sit there" Will Rogers |
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brightmeadow
True Blue Farmgirl
2045 Posts
Brenda
Lucas
Ohio
USA
2045 Posts |
Posted - May 08 2007 : 8:34:01 PM
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The whole gift-giving thing is a puzzler to me. People now tell me what I can and cannot give them for a gift. It's not just my family, it's my DH's family too.
"Don't give me a plant for Mother's Day - I don't want to be burdened with taking care of it" (from my stepmother, filtered through my dad) - hmmm, because she's rejecting me as her child once again?
"Don't give me a jar of jelly for Christmas. I don't eat sweets (this from MIL, who is constantly munching lemon candies and butter-pecan ice cream)"
"Take this bottle of perfume back to the store - I don't want it" MIL again
"Here - here's the scarf you bought me, I don't like it" Step-mom again
"that hat lets the wind right through it, it's no good" about a hand-knit hat (MIL)
"Ya trying to kill me????" (from Brother-in-law, turns out he's allergic to cashews, how would I know?)
"I don't have a muffin pan" on receipt of a gift muffin-mix, from SIL
I THINK I was taught if someone gives you a gift you don't like, can't use, you still are to thank them politely and graciously and be glad they thought of you. (I learned this lesson early - I NEVER got what I wanted for Christmas!) If its a duplicate, explain that its a duplicate and you might be exchanging it for something similar, but different.... If you really don't like it and they give you exchange receipts (I usually do) then go exchange it yourself! If you can't exchange it, give it away! Don't ask the giver to shop for something else for you!
I'm not waiting around for thank-you notes, I just would prefer not getting outright rejection of my gifts!
I am really tempted to just give up gift-giving altogether. Just a card. That's all anyone in my family is getting from me any more. Maybe I'll just go out of town at Christmas!
You shall eat the fruit of the labor of your hands - You shall be happy and it shall be well with you. -Psalm 128.2
Visit my blog at http://brightmeadowfarms.blogspot.com ,web site store at http://www.watkinsonline.com/fish or my homepage at http://home.earthlink.net/~brightmeadow |
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Sweet Harvest Homestead
True Blue Farmgirl
279 Posts
Lindy
Stanfield
NC
USA
279 Posts |
Posted - May 09 2007 : 03:48:35 AM
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I can't remember exactly how the quote goes, something like
A Thank you note that was sent, will be read and forgotten, a thank you note that you did not send will NEVER be forgotten.
That is so true. I send little notes for everything. Can't tell you how many gifts that I have sent and never even gotten a phone call.
I always put myself in the other persons position. If someone takes time out of their day, to drive to the store, spend their money and time on ME or anyone in my family. You're darn tootin I am going to take the time to send a HANDWRITTEN note on nice paper to thank them.
Lindy
www.sweetharvesthomestead.typepad.com |
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mtngirl1
True Blue Farmgirl
51 Posts
Kimberly
Roseland
Virginia
USA
51 Posts |
Posted - May 09 2007 : 05:06:17 AM
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Yes- manners are on the down hill slide. We instruct our boys to say please and thankyou, no sir, yes sir and to speak to adults and children when they enter a room. When my 10 yr old gets on the phone he says, "Hello, this is Marshall Thompson, may I speak with so and so" What really irks me is when other adults tell my children thay so not have to use their manners! Teaching our children is also a placae to start.
Kim |
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Across the Fence: A small rant on manners |
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A small rant on manners
