| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| Past Blessings |
Posted - Oct 19 2006 : 07:03:39 AM
I have been married for almost 16 years and a mom for almost 15. During this time our lives have been much more chaotic than I care to admit. We lead very busy lives, with two businesses, plus hubby's full time job as a paramedic, plus have 3 wonderful boys, 3 pets and a home to care for. We are soon adding Pigs and 4H to the package. Also, we are very involved in our church (hubby plays drums, I run our coffee shop ministry, boys do youth group, hubby & I both are in a Care Group, etc.) All good things. The problems is we rarely have a plan, our home is always messy, and there is no sense of peace. For years I have just thought of this as "who I am . . . a fun but very disorganized person." At times I would fight it, but always believe it was who I am. Well, last night, while listening to a speaker at a Women's conference at my friends church, I had an "aaaahaaah" moment. She was talking on overcoming the junk in our lives that Satan wants us to believe is part of who we are and declaring the opposite to be true. I realized I have been believing the lie that I am a chaotic, disorganized person. I am now declaring I am an organized woman, leading a life of discipline, order and peace. If I believe I am disorganized and chaotic, then that is my truth. But if I believe I am not, I can change that truth. I know God wants better for me and my family and I certainly want better, so I must believe better of myself and my family. I know it will take work and discipline. All things worthwhile do, but just like the old saying "You are what you eat" we are what we believe! I am a women of peace and order. I believe that. Now I just need to act on that. We need to not sell ourselves short. Any negative title we have given ourselves, which I hear women do all the time, is not the life we are meant for. If you waste time saying, "I am so stupid," "I just don't know how to ______", I could never ________", "I'm so ugly", "No on finds me interesting," etc. then that will be your reality. Ladies, I encourage you to jump on this ride with me and declare yourself to be the woman God made you to be. He didn't make junk. We just allowed ourselves to believe he did.
Brenda (woman of peace)
Past Blessings . . . Celebrating Life as it used to be . . . when people loved God, loved their families and loved their country. |
| 25 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| Horseyrider |
Posted - Dec 31 2006 : 05:10:49 AM
Laura, you remind me of a list of wishes that Erma Bombeck wrote when she knew she was dying of cancer. One of the things on her list was she wished she'd had more parties, that she shouldn't have missed things because she had stains on the carpets.
Stains happen. Messes happen. It's great to get organized if you don't lose focus on what's important. When I was a kid I had a friend who was forbidden to play in their livingroom. The family treated it like some sort of shrine; you couldn't even walk in there. It was a dead, dusty, silent room. Spotless and perfect equaled lifeless and uninhabitable. Not the kind of memories I want for my children and grandchildren.
I find it very important to live a life of gratitude. Gratitude for all things, big and small. Through gratitude comes a sense of abundance, and through that sense of abundance all things are given. So much of it starts right there in our own hearts! I remember Henry Ford saying "Whether you think you can or you think you can't, either way you're right." So much comes from how we choose to view our world.
Giving thanks is a small thing, but a very big thing too. And it releases our hearts from the wannabes and shouldbes to get on to what's really important. |
| horse |
Posted - Dec 30 2006 : 06:44:41 AM
I loved reading all what you farmgirls wrote. Sometimes I'm embarrassed when people come to my house. I told my husband when we were getting ready for our wedding, I did the whole keeping a spotless house, cooking, and being the perfect little wife. This time, every time you left I will be in the truck with you. I will be a mother first, and when I died I didn't want to be remembered as the one with the spotless house but as someone who put others before her. I want everyone to reflect on the love of life I had not some house . I want them left with wonderful memories.
Laura |
| Beemoosie |
Posted - Dec 29 2006 : 04:28:37 AM
Val,
What you said was beautiful, not preachy or judgemental at all!
Thank you!
O, Come let us adore HIM! www.beequilting.blogspot.com |
| abbasgurl |
Posted - Dec 28 2006 : 8:18:18 PM
Val,
I loved reading your thoughts on this. Thank you for sharing with us! Hopefully as we get older we get wiser, huh? Learning to balance things is an art, and requires constant evaluation (and prayer if you believe this way). I am so happy to hear you speak of the FREEDOM this has brought to your life! I think that has been one of the biggest blessings in my own life too. So freeing to only have ONE to answer to!
I have always loved the story of Mary & Martha...you know, when Jesus visits their home and Martha bustles around preparing food and worrying about the last minute details, while Mary sits at Jesus feet, gazing up at him and absorbing his every word. When poor overworked Martha complains to Jesus about her lazy sister Mary, his answer is so telling for all of us. "Martha Martha, you are worried and upset about many things, but only ONE THING is needed. Mary has chosen what is best and it will not be taken from her".
Wow! Only ONE thing? Yippee! Yay! Freedom! From someone who struggles with her Martha tendencies this is indeed good news!
Thanks again Val!
Peace & Freedom to All!
Rhonda
I'm a one girl revolution. |
| momto6 |
Posted - Dec 24 2006 : 05:52:25 AM
This thread came to my attention this morning and has just wowed me. I do know that if Satan can cause us to be dissatisfied, we become ineffective Christians.
One book, regarding organizing, and doing it slowly, one thing at a time, is Simple Steps (don't know the author). The book takes you through one week at a time, and gives ideas on many areas of your life. I didn't do all of them, or even agree with all of them, but it has helped me immensely in the organization of my house, one step at a time.
The other thing I'd like to say is along a spiritual line. I agree with many of the comments here. Three months ago, a group of four young people in our community were killed in a car accident. They had touched many lives...they had a band and went around to many youth groups. They are still, through their deaths, a witness. But the Lord really spoke to me through this about my life, and what was important to HIM. I am learning, by God's grace, to ask myself "what is my motivation"? In each and every step of my day, every task, everything, am I doing this because of my love for the Lord and wanting to please Him? Or (and this is what I am so guilty of), am I doing these tasks, this serving because it is expected, or because someone expects me to. Expectations from others ruled my life for many years. So the freedom that has come from this is amazing. I've begun teaching my children (after 28 years) that they shouldn't do or not do any one thing just because I say so, or just because everyone around them is doing it. If each one of us in our world had so much love for God, because of what He has done for us, and if we kept our eyes on Him, striving only to please Him, I think that (for me at least) we would be at peace, because we would only be doing what He had for us to do at that point. I've been thinking alot about Jesus' life. He was never overly busy. He rested. He had time to sit and teach. He was only about the Father's business. And He didn't care how it looked to others around Him, because He already knew it was pleasing to His Father.
I hope I didn't sound preachy, or judgemental. That is in no way what I meant. This has changed my life, though.
Val |
| Annab |
Posted - Dec 24 2006 : 03:53:11 AM
Something else to thank God for.......that your children have two loving parents who live in the same household! It's so rare these days
Kudos to you! |
| hollybeary |
Posted - Nov 20 2006 : 9:32:22 PM
Thanks for the Flylady tip. I want to be more organized. It has been very helpful to me on starting to declutter my house. Thanks again!!! |
| Past Blessings |
Posted - Nov 20 2006 : 10:14:33 AM
Wow! It is amazing how we can encourage and build up one another just by honestly sharing our struggles and how God is helping us to deal with them. I am so glad this thread has been a blessing and it continues to bless me! Remember girls, we are in a state of being purified. While it might hurt going through the fire, in the end we will be God's priceless jewels! Hugs and blessings to all!
Brenda
Past Blessings . . . Celebrating Life as it used to be . . . when people loved God, loved their families and loved their country. |
| abbasgurl |
Posted - Nov 16 2006 : 9:16:07 PM
Melanie,
How wonderful that our collective experiences have helped you in your struggle! I do believe that our struggles are meant to personally refine us, but also to help us have empathy towards others in similar situations. So happy to hear you are now feeling strong enough to find what works for you! God Bless you in your journey!
Rhonda
I'm a one girl revolution. |
| lamamama |
Posted - Nov 16 2006 : 10:02:32 AM
WOW!
It has truly been a prayer anwered to find this thread. First thanks go to you, Brenda, for beginning this band of angels. Blessings on you! And what deeply felt and beautifully written responses & addtions. I have been in tears reading these posts, & can only express profound gratitude. This issue has been the single biggest struggle in my life for over 5 years. Nothing seemed to give me the strength to find the way out, but now I know what needs to be done. The proverbial light bulb has clicked on! Yes, yes, yes...... I send my energy & heart to this chain, & I declare myself a member.
Melanie |
| Beemoosie |
Posted - Nov 16 2006 : 05:58:53 AM
Hip Hip Hooray!...
...she is far more precious than jewels and her value is far above rubies or pearls.
Prov 31:10
www.beequilting.blogspot.com |
| bohemiangel |
Posted - Nov 16 2006 : 05:24:56 AM
Aw brenda that's wonderful :) You're a great inspiration and I love how you're spreading the word! Three cheers for Brenda!
"... to thine ownself be true." |
| Past Blessings |
Posted - Nov 12 2006 : 4:25:28 PM
Rhonda,
I couldn't agree with you more. I also was soooo over involved in church at one point that our family came second at best. God clearly revealed to me the need to put my family fist and see them as my "mission field" at least, as you put it so well, for this season. So while I am still involved in church it is definitely in a more balanced way now. My husband also is no longer on the church board as it is a large church with big plans and of course with big plans, came big time commitments. He has also stopped playing drums for the symphony in our community, which was hard for him as he loves it, but once again, it is not the right season.
When I was talking about decluttering, I also was meaning spiritual decluttering, though maybe I didn't make that clear. Living a life of peace means having a life that is in order . . . the order God wants for us. While it does mean the actual physical chaos and disorder, it also means the thought life and attitudes. It of course, as I am sure we all agree, is an on-going challenge each day. I consecrate my life and actions to God not just on a daily basis but hourly and by the minute if needed. God gives me the grace to handle things through his eyes not my own. I really hope this thread continues to be an encouragement to all. We simply need to slow down, get our own agendas out of the way and let God be God and our lives will become peaceful. Jesus is referred to the prince of peace, so if we strive to be Christlike, we are, in essence, striving to live a life of peace. Wishing peace and joy to all of my wonderful farmgirl friends!
Brenda
Past Blessings . . . Celebrating Life as it used to be . . . when people loved God, loved their families and loved their country. |
| Nancy Gartenman |
Posted - Nov 09 2006 : 03:52:08 AM
Rhonda,
There you are, haven't seen you about in a few days.Your above message is very true, its like that old saying, keep your eye on the ball, there are so many things that can take you off center. You know what my warning signal is? Playing solitaire, you know the card game. Its a game of order, putting everything in line. So I have found over the years when I find myself playing that chances are something is wrong someplace. Isn't that funny.
Rhonda, don't you have a craft show this weekend? Sure would like to see your things. I know I love the things you sent me.
NANCY JO
www.Nancy-Jo.blogspot.com |
| Beemoosie |
Posted - Nov 09 2006 : 02:45:24 AM
Rhonda,
That was simply beautiful, well-said, and very true in my life!
Bonnie
...she is far more precious than jewels and her value is far above rubies or pearls.
Prov 31:10
www.beequilting.blogspot.com |
| abbasgurl |
Posted - Nov 08 2006 : 9:02:55 PM
Hi Ladies,
I just read through Brenda's original post, and all the great responses. I would like to add something I have learned from my own experience. I prayerfully and respectfully do not wish to offend anyone in any way, as I said... this is from my personal experience.
First, when I started reading Brenda's list of "good things" I could have been reading about myself. I am a Christian, wife, mother, teacher... For many years our family was active in our local church in countless ways. I have done every job from teaching to scrubbing toilets. I also have led every kind of community group I can think of at one time or another.
I strongly believe we (especially in The Church) are called to serve each other and to be a community to each other. But sometimes... when peace becomes elusive and chaos reigns in our lives, household, or famliy...I think it is time to reevaluate our involvement in things outside our home and family. AND, lest you think I'm finger pointing, understand that I think we are all in a constant state of reevaluation-or should be. What works for us at one point will not always work. "To everything there IS a season..." :) Some of the good things I was involved in were often the very things that took my focus away from where it needed to be. In my case, on Christ. Others may apply this to their lives & beliefs in other ways.
My husband, an elder at church, was asked to serve as such because he is a Godly man, and his family is "in order". Soon after he started serving, the pressure to be at every church function (and I do mean every) became overwhelming. So the very thing he was admired for in the beginning, was put at risk. Serving as elder-a good thing-became a bad thing, or at least a questionable thing. Does that make sense?
I have been a Children's Ministry Director, a Teacher, a Youth Leader, ran the church coffee house, done janitorial work, served at banquets, oraganized greeters, headed up Women's Ministry, been a speaker at women's retreats, and led more Bible studies than I can count. My husband & oldest son have been at least as active as myself. ALL good things. Sometimes the pressure to serve or achieve, or the biggie... TO PLEASE is so much, that we lose sight of WHY we do these things in the first place. Sometimes we are guilted into it. Sometimes we are "fooled" into it. Sometimes we feel like it's the right thing to do. Thinking we have to be all things to all people is a huge lie-and a huge burden on our hearts.
Michele mentioned balance... balance is SO important in our lives. Easy to say, hard to achieve. I am continually revising my "plan" to stay in balance. I am by nature a tidy person, but I am also a very creative person. I notice when things are not as they should be on the inside (my inside), my home & family reflect this. So while decluttering & tidying things up is certainly helpful, it cannot give us the inward peace we so desire. In my life I find that those times of chaos are a symtom of some deeper personal messiness. As Bonnie mentioned, we need to be open to God's prompting in those areas. I write these things today not to discourage, but to encourage each woman to know and understand that she is a beautiful creation, no matter where she is in her journey. I also encourage each woman here to continue to evaluate what works for HER, and to continue to find balance in her life. :)
I appreciate being able to speak my mind here and still be loved by my farmgirls. :) I do realize that not everyone here is of the same faith, and I welcome EVERYONE'S thoughts on this subject.
In closing I wanted to recommend a book to those who are interested. It's called "Captivating" by John & Stasi Eldredge. The Eldredges are Christian authors. This book is a reminder of each woman's individual beauty. I highly reccommend it.
Blessings!
Rhonda
I'm a one girl revolution. |
| mommom |
Posted - Nov 08 2006 : 07:02:45 AM
I'm sure the angels are rejoicing in Heaven after hearing about how we all know we are in need of slowing down and giving thanks for what we have. And I feel that you are right...I get more done, too, when I slow down and do it right! God's blessings and love, Susan |
| Past Blessings |
Posted - Nov 07 2006 : 7:28:39 PM
Hi Kelly,
So glad to find kindred spirits! As an update, no I am not suddenly Martha Stewart and Heloise all rolled up in a big bow, but I am definitely seeing great improvements. The main reason is because now I believe I can have peace and order and I KNOW it is the life God wants for me. I am not trying to climb Mount Everest (or Mt. Laundry!) in a day, but I am moving forward. I have become accountable to a wonderful older woman in my chuch who will be inspecting my progress! I am also trying to slow down and take time for devotions and just regrouping. Just sitting and reading a good book while sipping a cup of tea is so calming and healing. I am just trying to do everything I do slower and with a purpose, so that I take time to appreciate all I have and be the mom and wife I need to be. The funny thing is, in slowing down, I have actually moved forward faster! Things are coming together much easier and I think it is because they are motivated by peace and calm rather than stress and overload. Hubby and I went out of town for a couple days and my wonderful mother-in-law stayed with the kids and while she was here she completely got all my laundry caught up! What a blessing! So I guess at this point my best advice is to slow down, know that God loves you and sees you as a woman of peace and order so that is how you need to see yourself and know that chaos and stress is not of God and has no place in your life. I am moving forward and I pray that I can be an encouragement to you or anyone here that may relate to press on. Blessings to you all!
Brenda
Past Blessings . . . Celebrating Life as it used to be . . . when people loved God, loved their families and loved their country. |
| Kelly43 |
Posted - Nov 02 2006 : 05:30:58 AM
Brenda, have been away for a while so just read this for the first time. I am you!!! You have described my life exactly (except I have girls, but we belong to 5 4-H groups and are very active in church and the community). I would love to take this ride with you. I just want things to SLOW DOWN!!! Keep us updated on some things you are trying to get a hold of the real us. I'm so inspired now. Thank you from the bottom of my heart!
Kelly |
| katiedid |
Posted - Nov 01 2006 : 1:33:18 PM
I needed to re-read this today...I have been out of commission..I had surgery on my jaw a week ago, and then it got infected! I have been down and out! Boy, does my house show it!!
Kate
my new blog http/www.theknifemakerswife.wordpress.com |
| Beemoosie |
Posted - Nov 01 2006 : 11:51:38 AM
Brenda I can't add anything to what you and other have said, but just wanted to tell you how much I agree with what you said. You know when it's God's prompting to be more organized or get rid of stuff or whatever as opposed to the pressure we (or others) put on ourselves.
Thank you for starting this thread, it is very enjoyable to read and has reminded me of a few things I needed to hear myself!
Bonnie
...she is far more precious than jewels and her value is far above rubies or pearls.
Prov 31:10 |
| Past Blessings |
Posted - Oct 20 2006 : 10:59:16 PM
So glad to find so many kindred spirits here and to know I am not alone in how I am feeling. I do agree that if I was to be consumed with organization, rigidity might happen, but right now that is so opposite of how my life has been that I find it hard to imagine that ever being a problem for me! LOL! I finished the last night of my women's conference tonight and spent wonderful lunch with my girlfriends talking things over. It truly is a matter of finding a balance. The speaker encouraged us to be the women God wants us to be . . . that is to be ourselves in the light God sees us (not in the skewed light others may cast on us.) So it doesn't mean me trying to be Martha Stewart or even Mary Jane. It means me being Brenda, but being the best Brenda I can be. I love Emily Barnes and have read one of her books, but not the one you mentioned, so I will have to get that. I have also heard her on the radio and she is such an encourager. I haven't read "Sink Reflections" but did belong to Flylady for a while. It is great, but for me the emails became too many that I couldn't keep up. But I did print off her "zones" and how to clean them. It is helpful. But for me this is more of a mindset, since it goes beyond physical clutter and into our schedules and quality of lives. I am claiming the things God wants for my life and I want also . . . peace and order, all while still being my creative self. Blessings to each of you!!
Brenda
Past Blessings . . . Celebrating Life as it used to be . . . when people loved God, loved their families and loved their country. |
| brightmeadow |
Posted - Oct 20 2006 : 6:35:28 PM
I was recently reminded of St. Francis's prayer at my husband's aunt's funeral....
Lord, make me an instrument of your peace,
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
where there is sadness, joy;
O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.
You shall eat the fruit of the labor of your hands - You shall be happy and it shall be well with you. -Psalm 128.2
Visit my blog at http://brightmeadowfarms.blogspot.com ,web site store at http://www.watkinsonline.com/fish or my homepage at http://home.earthlink.net/~brightmeadow |
| FlipFlopFarmer |
Posted - Oct 19 2006 : 7:47:53 PM
I just read Sink Reflections by Marla Cilley and have started implementing a lot of the ideas and methods because I too feel like you do. Both hubby and I work, farm and raise two awesome boys.
If there are two things that I have learned it's to DECLUTTER and DELIGATE. I have two very able bodied boys and I found myself picking up after then so much so that they started to diregard where they put anything because they knew it would just get taken care of.
I really love the Sink Reflections book and there's even info on her site http://www.flylady.net. I too was living in happy chaos but it really started to wear on me.
I totally agree that your perception is your reality and commend you on taking off in the right direction.
Carla
Live simply.
Love generously.
Care deeply.
Speak kindly. |
| westernhorse51 |
Posted - Oct 19 2006 : 7:24:32 PM
Brenda, I certainly do understand what you are saying and we all lead such busy lives that things get a bit messy. Messy, to me, isn't always unorganized. Organization is good, Im very organized but if you let it, it can make you too rigid. There is a fine balance. Just be you. You ARE perfect the way God intended you to be.
she selects wool and flax and works with eager hands Prov.31:13 |
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