| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| rnbzmommy |
Posted - Oct 14 2006 : 6:42:09 PM
Well Riley and Bailey went to their dads last night he called and Wed. and wanted to know if they could come and stay all night. At first I said no because my parents were going to take them to a pumkin patch thing in the next town. Then I thought Amy now stop it's not about you being mad and jealous any more there for awhile I thought that he had really changed and then I found out that he was still the DOG that he always was and will be. A lady at work that I go to when I have questions about why Jesus hasn't answered this prayer or why is he letting his happen to me or different things and she had told me once that she had a really bad up bringing and that her mom was just terrible to her. Her mom had done things and made her do things that I just can't image doing to my kids. or a human period. Anyways she had said that when she gave herself to the Lord that she had to go to her mom and ask for forgiveness for all the things that she had done to her while she was growing up. I asked her what she had done. She said nothing really I wasn't a bad child. i only did what she asked of me. But I needed forgiveness from my mom so I could forgive her. So she told me that I needed to ask Tommy for forgiveness and I would feel lots better    Like I would EVER ask for forgiveness from him... NOW WAY.
Then when that man went to the Amish school and kill those little girls and they went to the mans family and told them they forgave him and Really wanted to know who had hit that little boy while he was riding his bike. they wanted to let him know they forgave him and held no hard feelings. I thought to myself Amy these people had someone precious taken from them and they forgave the man and you can't step over this little rock with Tommy. So I have really been trying and when I talk with him he just makes my hair on the back of my neck stand up. He's the type that if you don't talk about it it didn't happen and once it's over it's over and never happen. No matter how ditty he gets he always ends up looking spotless.
Okay I went waaaaay off the subject kind of ..
but I let the girls stay the night and he was to pick them up at 6:30 at 7:20 I decided to call and see where he was at. of course he didn't answer. He never answers his cell always has to call back. well my Riley that's handicapped was very upset and when he called back she just kept saying he lied he lied. I said daddy said he will he here in about 45 mins. 2 episodes of sponge bobs! and he will be here. He didn't bother to call to let me know he was going to be late. so when he showed up at 8:35 ~ 2 hours late tge girls were all excited and I could of spit nails just smiled kissed have a really good time and be a good girls. I love you.. went back in and cried like i lost my best friend.
When I went to pick the up when I got off work at 6 like I said I would called on my way there to let him know I was coming didn't answer of course. called me back. When I got there Riley came running out all smiles and their dad had given them real cell phones that didn't work any more so they can just play the games mess around with them. Riley and Bailey have always wanted a cell phone they each got one so ONCE AGAIN......... He came out looking like a shining trophy. No i'm not mad. I'm not beating myself up inside of feeling like this
Well i gotta get the girls to be and ready for church tomarrow.
This is just really good "theropy" for me I guess. Because I know there is someone out there that knows what i'm feeling.
Thanks for listening girls.
is there some where else i should be writing about this kind of wowis me stuff. I know cleaning up isn't really it.
Talk to ya later.
Amy K
Flip Flops & Farmers Tans! |
| 2 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| therusticcottage |
Posted - Oct 14 2006 : 10:30:13 PM
Amy -- I am so proud of you for the way that you handled this situation. It is so hard to ask someone for forgiveness and then forgive them when we are so irritated by them! I had major issues with my mom -- she died when I was 17. But for years I harbored all these bad feelings and anger. Unfortunately she was not here for me to ask her forgiveness. But I kept praying and asking the Lord to help me to forgive her so I could find peace. It took YEARS! Four years ago I was talking to my sis-in-law and she told me some things about my mom that I never knew. It made me start to think differently of her. Then my brother and my sister told me more things. Pretty soon I saw my mom in a whole different light and my heart just melted. I was able to forgive her for the things that happened between us and love her. I believe that God speaks to us through others and He was speaking to me through those people.
Keep praying -- ask for help to pray for your ex. That is the best place to start. You may have to pray for him through gritted teeth. That's the way I started out when I prayed for my ex. When you can honestly pray for him without feeling anger towards him then the rest will come. It may take a long time but it will happen if you keep praying.
I'm so glad that your girls got to be with their dad. I know it was hard for you but it was good for them. It will get easier. And you should take advantage of the time you have to yourself. It's hard being a single mom and you need some quiet time too! When they're gone just do things to pamper yourself and enjoy that time alone. Hugs to you!!
Handmade purses and bath delights at www.rusticcottagecreations.com |
| ~Tracey~ |
Posted - Oct 14 2006 : 8:03:57 PM
mama, you are in a very tender spot right now. Stay in prayer and try to seperate yourself from him emotionally. This will take a lot of time.
I know, I have been in your spot but my oldest's father lives about 6 hours away so I don't have the daily or weekly, or heck even monthly B.S. that most have. But believe me, the emotional garbage remains but now I am seperate from him and his life is his and I could care less what he does as long as he keeps his commitments to our child. My son sees (and it took YEARS) his dad's faults and and he sees mine. He also knows who is there for him and when. Yep, his dad will always be a hero and that is a bit of a sore spot for me because I am the one that is there for my son. But guess what? he also knows that I am the one that is there 100% for him and I know that he is thankful for that!!
Hang in there Amy. It is tough but I promise that prayer will come through even if it takes a lot longer than expected. It did for me :)!!
((HUGS))
Tracey,
mama to Callum 13, Katie 8, Wil 5.5, Benjamin 3 and Andrew 6 months!!
http://hansenhootenanny.blogspot.com/
edited for spelling errors :) |
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