| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| KYgurlsrbest |
Posted - Nov 09 2007 : 12:36:36 PM
We remodelled two back rooms...what seems like an eternity ago. It has been about 6 months since the painting and woodworking was completed, and now, the rooms are STILL vacant, because in a cottage/bungalow, there really isn't anyplace to GO with any of the stuff that's back there...furniture, boxes, summer clothing, etc.... We are currently sleeping in what WAS the original bedroom/IS going to be the dining room. It's fine...but it's also full of stuff. As is the new "study" and the new "bedroom". Some of it is being kept, some isn't. It's really difficult and it sounds so stupid, but I get back there to get motivated and I turn right back around and walk out the front door to do something else "less challenging".
I am starting to get really frustrated, and my dh isn't really motivated to move anything....what do you do? I mean, there are chairs back there that I know we aren't keeping, and yet, I really HATE to put them to the curb. It makes me feel bad, because I bought them from an elderly friend and I just feel...bad. But, we're not going to use them, and because we don't have a truck, donating them to Goodwill isn't an option, either...so, it's the curb. They're from the late 40's and I bought them with the intention of covering them, but I can't do it personally, and there isn't any money to reupholster....so, it's the curb. Right? Along with some other furniture and furnishings that I've picked up here and there. If it doesn't really go, then I shouldn't keep it, right?
I guess I need some assistance in "letting go", ladies. Anyone feel up to a therapy session? 
"She was built like a watch, a study in balance ... with a neck and head so refined, like a drawing by DaVinci"...
NY Newsday sportswriter Bill Nack describing filly, Ruffian.
http://www.buyhandmade.org/ |
| 25 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| Ronna |
Posted - Dec 01 2007 : 9:19:28 PM
In this family, I'm the hoarder/stasher, he's the throw it away man. He thinks if you don't need something that day, you throw it away. Of course, if he needs something and my having it means not having to drive to Reno (75 miles round trip), it's okay. So, I have a sewing/office room that's not even usable now due to 'stuff', plus two 10x20 storage units needing cleaned out. His shop is 2400 sq ft, the house is a bit less than 1900. Not fair :) I can relate to all this, so must go clean up something now, before I lose the momentum.
Ronna |
| Amie C. |
Posted - Nov 29 2007 : 11:00:31 AM
That's great. I'm glad your husband cooperated with your plans for the weekend. Sounds like he helped quite a bit. It's a good feeling to have worked on a project together and made life at home a little better. |
| Alee |
Posted - Nov 29 2007 : 09:35:13 AM
Jonni-
That is awesome! Keep it up and soon you will actually have a bedroom back! :D Doesn't it feel great to get rid of all those odds and ends and feel like you have some breathing room back? I know that is how I always feel when I purge and get rid of things that just aren't meant for me any more.
I wish I could come camp out on your curb though! LOL That headboard sounds beautiful, but since I don't have a twin sized bed, I guess it's not meant for me either.
Maybe you could have a garage sale on Saturday? Raise a little money and get rid of lots of stuff too?
Alee
The amazing one handed typist! One hand for typing, one hand to hold Nora!
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| KYgurlsrbest |
Posted - Nov 29 2007 : 05:53:09 AM
I have an update! Boy howdy did I get hoppin' over that four day weekend. I cleaned out the back room--put stuff in boxes for organization. Made him go through his cd cases to see if he even wanted them anymore (which sparked him putting over a 1000 cd's into our hardrive on I tunes--don't ask...I guess that's HIS style of organizing), packed up 4 lawn bags of stuff and odds and ends furnishings to take to Goodwill, and then moved the furniture that we couldn't haul out to the porch (a beautiful twin sized headboard and footboard (made in the Westlake style? Very High headboard and lower footboard), and the chair....and then it decided to rain. It's been nice for the last two days, but everytime I think of putting the furniture to the curb, it's called for rain. So, there it is on my porch like the Clampet's....Oh well, it can go out tomorrow night for Saturday folks.
Now, I just have to do the "room swap" thing, wherein I take everything from that room and put it into the middle room and vice versa.
I also cleaned out our deep closes and found (under all these coats and things) my sewing machine that's never been out of the box! I totally forgot about it! Well, it's still going to stay there because I don't have a place to sew right now...According to my dh, you sew in the dining room (because his mother did)--that's where the largest surface is! We are currently sleeping in the dining room
Thanks for the encouragement, girls. I just kept him out of my way, sending him on the runs to Goodwill!
"She was built like a watch, a study in balance ... with a neck and head so refined, like a drawing by DaVinci"...
NY Newsday sportswriter Bill Nack describing filly, Ruffian.
http://www.buyhandmade.org/ |
| junkjunkie |
Posted - Nov 28 2007 : 08:22:51 AM
This is so funny! I totally understand the overwhelming feeling of too much stuff. lol! One of my bedrooms...the largest one out of two...has become my dumping ground. When I moved into my home 4+ years ago, I put all the boxes of my chachki (sp?) things in that room and piled boxes on top of other boxes...then closed the door. I would go in and look at everything and try to figure out how to approach this, then would walk out and shut the door again. It got to a point that I opened all the boxes and took everything out to see what I had, and got rid of the boxes. Small step, but felt good...progress! I've given things to the Vietnam Vets (they do pick up in my area), and sold things through consignment shops and garage sales. I had a 6' artificial Christmas tree in one of my closets that took up a ton of room. And you know, once you take it out of the box, you can never get it back in. I had that closet reorganized, and (though very hard) I put the tree out on the curb. It was taken. :) Don't look back, just do it! I still have a lot of stuff in 'my dumping ground', but it's gradually getting better. At least I can move around a little. :)
"To have life in focus, we must have death in our field of vision." Benedictine monk John Main |
| Amie C. |
Posted - Nov 15 2007 : 08:04:17 AM
Good luck, Jonni! I hope Monday finds your rooms in a much more satisfying state. |
| KYgurlsrbest |
Posted - Nov 15 2007 : 05:48:56 AM
Ohhh! My heart is breaking over the craftsman style house, stone and all, in a hole! That probably would have made him an ex right there, for me! My dh does that collecting thing, too. I have bits and pieces of rusty window hardwared from the 1800's on our desk right now, that he collected from the place he works. I guess I can't complain, because I have a large, wooden pedestal bowl full of brachiopods on our coffee table.
I could simply burn it down, today, truly, girls. I went back into the rooms last night, because he went to a hockey game in Columbus, and I knew I'd have time to "peruse". It just made me angry--all the stuff that's there, alot of it that I can't possibly lift by myself, and he really has no intention of helping. It's like we're squatters.....
Those rooms and I have a date with destiny this weekend!
"She was built like a watch, a study in balance ... with a neck and head so refined, like a drawing by DaVinci"...
NY Newsday sportswriter Bill Nack describing filly, Ruffian.
http://www.buyhandmade.org/ |
| Amie C. |
Posted - Nov 15 2007 : 05:44:04 AM
Jennifer, my husband actually has a name for those "really cool" things: "Totems of power" (I think he's only half joking).
I guess it's the male equivalent of the kitchen shrine. |
| La Patite Ferme |
Posted - Nov 14 2007 : 8:49:14 PM
I can joke about it now, but when I was married it drove me crazy. Men have some kind of wierd gene that makes the smallest most insignificant object "really cool".
We lived on a family farm and when XH ran around the ranch he would find "stuff". Every night when he came home he would unload his pockets to show off his treasures, like a little kid. Old soda bottles, chips of tea cups or other pottery, pieces of metal, marbles became valued show pieces to be proudly displayed on my buffet. In fact, every flat surface in our house was heaping with these so called treasures. Finally, I put my foot down, put shelves up in the garage where he could collect all he wanted.
The contrast between us was humorous and frustrating, because when I found things that would be truly useful he put up such a fuss over the trash I was collecting. Case in point - there was a house on the property that was psuedo craftsman style. The entire first floor was made of hand cut square stone from a local river. In 1994 it was severely damaged in an earthquake and had to condemmed and torn down. Well - my little brain went in overdrive thinking of all the ways I could use the stone, rock patio, short retaining walls, pillars at the driveway and the front walkway, stone smokehouse - the possibilities were endless. Even selling it to landscape contractors.
But OMG when I brought it up you'd think I had asked the impossible. Besides, "why would we want to bring that rock over here when we can buy stone and have it delivered" and "who wants the fuss of trying to sell it" was the answer I got.
So, what did they do - dig a big hole and bury it.
Men - definetly from mars. |
| Amie C. |
Posted - Nov 14 2007 : 10:21:13 AM
Jonni, your husband sounds a lot like mine. Just be glad he is only into *models* of airplanes. I read a book last winter (I think it was called 'Hunting Warbirds') about the people who salvage the remains of WWII warplanes out of jungles and ice caps. The book described an old guy who had turned his property into a warplane junkyard, acres and acres of hulks and pieces. Imagine being that guy's wife! Now my husband used to be a volunteer at a local warplane museum, and he got into muscle cars (of which we have 3 in the driveway and pieces of about 10 more all over the house and yard - because we might need to replace something and where are you going to find that part today?) in part because he would have liked to have a plane and couldn't afford it. So I feel like I just barely dodged the bullet. The sad part is that deep down in my hoarding genes I can see how it would be really cool.
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| KYgurlsrbest |
Posted - Nov 13 2007 : 1:27:06 PM
I'm telling you, if I could sell Smithsonian back their magazines, I would in a heartbeat. I'd be a millionaire! He keeps them ALL, and then he gets more from our friends who are supposed to be "recycling" them for their son's school fundraiser!!!!
The other thing that we have back there...airplane models from WWII. It's nice to have a hobby, but not when that hobby takes up surfaces of everything. There's this little squadron of unfinished and finished planes on almost every surface of things that have to be moved. If you even look at them like you're going to touch them, he freaks: "that one's drying!!!" or "that one's wing isn't stable!!!" But they've been like this for months. 
I do throw magazines and clothing out without him knowing. Corduroys that don't have any more "cord", shirts he never wears, or shirts he wears too much. Seriously--last week I threw out a sweater (of mine) because the sleeves were shot and too long, and he came into the room to say, "before we throw this away, is there anyway we could utilize it for a dogbed or something? "WE" is always specified, though it would be "ME" making the freakin' dogbed! I explained that before tossing the sweater, I thought out all possibilities and determined that a)it was cotton and b) loosely knitted, so it would be difficult to sew and keep together. He then acquiesced.
I like the 4 boxes a night thing. I'm going to start this weekend. I am putting the cd player back there (a little Ray LaMontagne never fails to inspire), and possible my tomato timer to give myself a "goal".
"She was built like a watch, a study in balance ... with a neck and head so refined, like a drawing by DaVinci"...
NY Newsday sportswriter Bill Nack describing filly, Ruffian.
http://www.buyhandmade.org/ |
| Amie C. |
Posted - Nov 13 2007 : 06:07:18 AM
I've been reading through this thread and I'm so glad that I'm not the only one who feels burdened by my husband's collection of stuff. Honestly, I've thought about running away from home. Has anyone found a way to get the husband on board and establish a joint order throughout the house? I can't just get rid of stuff without his consent. This issue really bothers me because my mom has a hoarding problem and I always swore I would never live like that again when I had my own place. Any solutions, or do I just have to choose between leaving him or outliving him? |
| La Patite Ferme |
Posted - Nov 12 2007 : 8:50:40 PM
I ditto the charities that pick-up. I would also suggest contacting youth organizations and the like to see if they need furniture for their facilities.
As for the de-cluttering - BTDT - when DD and I moved into our own place we literally moved over Labor Day weekend. That's packing/moving one little jam packed house in 3 days. Because I only had time to move (not set up) everything, but the big furniture went into the garage. Overwhelming is an under statement. Every time I opened the door I glazed over and closed the door.
Finally, I decided I needed to make some headway, so every night when I came home from work I went through 4 boxes then stopped no matter what. Stuff was cleaned and put away. Give aways were put into the empty boxes. Throw aways were put into the trash. I gave myself a limit so I wouldn't get caught up and work all night.
It worked great. In about 2 weeks everything had been gone through and I had a truck load of stuff to auction, which enabled me to pay cash for my new wood floors.
It worked so well that I'm now a decluttering maniac. I think because my old house was wall-to-wall XH's broken, cracked, chipped, dented crap from God knows where the expereince was very freeing. It has also helped with my purchasing. If I don't have a place to put it I don't buy it - even if it is a good deal.
You can do this - just fix a glass of tea, put the music on and jump in. |
| Alee |
Posted - Nov 12 2007 : 5:03:06 PM
Another thing you can do with craigslist or freecycle is set up a meeting point too. Or haul it down a block or two to a corner and just leave it there and say "Its at the corner of 1st and Washington" or whatever. That way they don't know exactly where you are.
Alee
The amazing one handed typist! One hand for typing, one hand to hold Nora!
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| Amie C. |
Posted - Nov 12 2007 : 10:23:07 AM
I've sold some things on craigslist and I am careful about giving out my home info. You don't have to include it when you list the items for sale (in fact, prospective buyers don't even see your real email address). The only person who needs to know where you live is someone who is coming to look at and hopefully take away the item for sale. I don't arrange for them to come to my house unless I know that my husband is going to be home also. So that's no different than the old newspaper classifieds.
I'm in the process of remodeling a room right now and I can really feel for you in your lack of storage space. Everything that should be in the dining room is now in the living room-it's like a warehouse. Hopefully, though, everything will straighten out once the remodeling is done. |
| KYgurlsrbest |
Posted - Nov 12 2007 : 09:21:57 AM
Good ideas! And, you are SOOOO right, Tina Michelle, about dh's input--I just threw away this $2.00 metal curtain rod that he pulled out of the garbage can 2 years ago and said, "we can use this somewhere else, don't ya think?" Into the closet it went, and out it went with the trash a few weeks ago.
I've got a little egg timer, I think I'll set that up for this weekend and see what I get accomplished! As it gets darker at 6:00, I almost feel ready for bed when I come home from work, so I doubt anything will get done this evening!!!
Thanks, too, for the information about freecycle. I guess I'm a little hesitant to post things about where I live, becuase here, in our area, a woman was attacked, and they narrowed it down to free cycle or criags list--same m.o.'s for both pages...
"She was built like a watch, a study in balance ... with a neck and head so refined, like a drawing by DaVinci"...
NY Newsday sportswriter Bill Nack describing filly, Ruffian.
http://www.buyhandmade.org/ |
| babysmama |
Posted - Nov 12 2007 : 09:03:04 AM
freecycle is an e-mail list (go through yahoo groups) and people post their unwanted items on it. Whenever I've posted something within a few hours it is gone - from a 20 year old washing machine, to an old couch, to a dollhouse, to some old scrap metal. I post that it is at my curb and the first one to come gets it! Try it - it's fun and a good motivation to get rid of more stuff - plus it's nice to know that someone can use it.
-Elizabeth |
| Tina Michelle |
Posted - Nov 11 2007 : 11:40:04 AM
oh..and do it when the hubby isn't around..if men have input...it just seems to make it harder to do ..because face it..some guys are like "oh but honey..we could use that somewhere"..and chances are if you haven't used it in a year..you won't use it.
so ..no input from hubby..just tackle it..and heave-ho! you can do it!!
And remind yourself when you are cleaning out the items that you are blessed and you are giving a blessing to someone else.
~Seize the Day! Live, Love, Laugh~
visit me at:
http://gardengoose.blogspot.com/
and at www.stliving.net
you can also check out my etsy shops at:http://GardenGooseGifts.etsy.com |
| Tina Michelle |
Posted - Nov 11 2007 : 11:33:54 AM
I have an idea that might make tackling the project a bit easier. Get a timer..yes a timer, and set it at either 15 minutes or 30 minute intervals. Take a box or a garbage bag into the room with you and as fast as you can..fill up that bag or box in the time limit. Then..take the bag out to the curb, or put it into the trunk of your car.Do not in any way shape or form allow it to set in your house..anywhere. Immediately walk it out to the curb or the trunk of your car. The next time you run an errand, drop the bag or box off at the Goodwill or rescue mission.
Make a point to do this task at a set time every week without fail.
Those rooms will get whipped back into shape soon then.
~Seize the Day! Live, Love, Laugh~
visit me at:
http://gardengoose.blogspot.com/
and at www.stliving.net
you can also check out my etsy shops at:http://GardenGooseGifts.etsy.com |
| KYgurlsrbest |
Posted - Nov 11 2007 : 10:58:23 AM
Thanks, girls. I had no idea that some charitable organizations would actually come and pick things up--it seemed like our Vietnam Vets org used to, but I would set the stuff out and then noone would ever come and they never left a phone number to get ahold of them, so back inside it went and then we were again, stuck with it.
Angie, sounds like you ARE in a similar spot, but our woodwork and floors are completely done, everything is painted and pretty, but I can't cuss a cat in either of those rooms and I feel like I want to drink everytime I get back there It feels like a lesson in futility....I've never been on Craig's List, and it'r raining and chilly here, today, so it looks like I might have some time to peruse....
We can "bump" this thread whenever you get ready!
"She was built like a watch, a study in balance ... with a neck and head so refined, like a drawing by DaVinci"...
NY Newsday sportswriter Bill Nack describing filly, Ruffian.
http://www.buyhandmade.org/ |
| Alee |
Posted - Nov 09 2007 : 5:47:01 PM
I agree with the other ladies- call and see if some others can come and pick it up or list them on freecycle or craigslist. Or if not, set them on the curb- you would be so suprise at how fast furniture can get snapped up. And there have been a few times where I have been thankful that someone didn't need something anymore!
Alee
The amazing one handed typist! One hand for typing, one hand to hold Nora!
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| emsmommy5 |
Posted - Nov 09 2007 : 4:27:32 PM
Right there with you. We did a major remodel on our house this summer and I also have boxes piled in every corner and things in total disarray. I want to get rid of a computer desk but DH doesn't. It worked well in the original area, but is not going to work well now. Don't feel bad about getting rid of something that you really can't use anymore. Even if it goes out to the curb, someone who can use it will take it. It would be harder to know the things went to the dump. I am looking forward to the day when the woodworking is done and the floors are finished. It will be a while as we are now in the save money to accomplish it phase of remodel.
You will feel much lighter if you just get rid of the chairs that aren't going to work and give them to someone who will use them. I plan to go through one box at the time and have 3 piles, a give away pile, a garbage pile and a put away pile. No opening another box until the three piles are gone.
I may need encouraging one day in the near future. Can you save this and send it back to me!!! =)
Lord, keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth! |
| Tina Michelle |
Posted - Nov 09 2007 : 1:21:32 PM
also around here the habitat for humanity thrift stores take donations as well as do the rescue missions and they will pick up items like furniture and clothing.
~Seize the Day! Live, Love, Laugh~
visit me at:
http://gardengoose.blogspot.com/
and at www.stliving.net
you can also check out my etsy shops at:http://GardenGooseGifts.etsy.com |
| Peanut |
Posted - Nov 09 2007 : 1:21:05 PM
Jonni, could you list them on Ebay or Craig's List and for shipping specify "pick-up only"?
Or you could call local churches - if they know of someone in need of furniture, they can send someone to pick it up. Same with a women's shelter.
"What is a farm but a mute gospel?"
Ralph Waldo Emerson |
| Tina Michelle |
Posted - Nov 09 2007 : 1:19:53 PM
you do know that if you have at least 5 big garbage bag fulls of items that the Salvation Army or Goodwill will come out to your home and do a pick up? Here in our area it must equal 5 bags or more to make it worth their while.
I'd get it together in a pile and call them to come in and haul it out for you.
Just mark what goes and what stays. Then problem would be solved.
~Seize the Day! Live, Love, Laugh~
visit me at:
http://gardengoose.blogspot.com/
and at www.stliving.net
you can also check out my etsy shops at:http://GardenGooseGifts.etsy.com |
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