| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| MaryLD |
Posted - Apr 09 2011 : 07:10:54 AM
My husband and I have been invited to visit the Amish. My friend John is the horse trainer, who broke my horses to drive. He and his wife are going to Lancaster County, PA, for John to participate in Horse Progess Days, which is an event all about doing work with horses.
They invited me and my husband to stay with their family memebers and attend Horse Progress Days, July 1 and 2 of this year.
How should I dress when visiting the Amish? I guess choosing colors like blue and green would be good. No red or yellow, no orange. I need to come up with a head covering. S Also, sleeves vs sleeveless-
Anyway, feedback is welcome. My friends are not conservative Amish, and I go visit them in the circle skirt Fiddlegirl/ Kayla made for me, and I wear a bandana on my head , which is fine with Mary and John. They would be fine if I showed up in regular clothing- but I want to show respect when we travel without looking nutty. And we are going into the heart of Amish country vs visiting my friends here.
Mary LD
Haflingers- You can't have just one!
( I'm just one short of a drill team!) |
| 21 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| Arctic Flower |
Posted - May 02 2011 : 3:41:03 PM
Mary, I would dress like I was going to visit my grandmother. Calm and conservative but most important be yourself. Your friends will be wanting to share your company and spirit. Enjoy them and yourself. Sounds like a wonderful vacation.
Farmgirl #2416
Believe in the power of Love! |
| levisgrammy |
Posted - Apr 19 2011 : 4:30:17 PM
We have spent some time with Amish friends and they would rather you be yourself than something you are not. I agree with Lyn. The Amish do not look down on others no matter how you dress. We should dress modestly now matter where we go.
They are not impressed by those who would try to dress like them or be like them. We visit Lancaster fairly often and I would say you and they will enjoy it more if you just relax and have a good time with them. If you don't normally wear a headcovering then I would advise against that. To them it is part of their beliefs and if you don't hold to that belief then there would be no point in it.
farmgirl sister#43
O, a trouble's a ton or a trouble's an ounce,
Or a trouble is what you make it!
And it isn't the fact that you're hurt that counts,
But only--how did you take it?
--Edmund C. Vance.
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| BalancingAct |
Posted - Apr 14 2011 : 12:04:13 AM
I've lived among Amish and I learned that it depends on what "ordinance" they are from as to whether they will accept you as you are, or look down on you. Some "ordinances" are very strict, and then others are very liberal. I just got lucky. I do know this, when it comes to women....most Amish men hate it when women wear pants and have short hair.
Farmgirl Sister #2851 -"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment." ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson |
| Taos Lyn |
Posted - Apr 13 2011 : 8:00:57 PM
Hi, my parents retired in New Holland, PA (Lancaster County) about 12 years ago. A lovely Amish family next door have been very friendly and nice to my mother over the years, inviting her to school Christmas events, family celebrations, etc. My mother adores the family and has watched several of the children grow up. I've visited them many times and just being yourself and dressing how you normally would I feel is the way to go. These folks are very secure in their ways, and do not seem at all uncomfortable around what they call "English" people. I hope you have a great time! It is a very special part of the world, and Amish people have the most beautifully well-kept farms, gorgeous quilts, and what I think is a refreshingly wholesome community oriented lifestyle. I hope you'll let us know how your trip goes. |
| Bonnie Ellis |
Posted - Apr 13 2011 : 6:37:24 PM
Enjoy the Amish. They are only people like you and me. Different in their ways than ours but be sincere and honest and they will treat you right.
grandmother and orphan farmgirl |
| pmburk |
Posted - Apr 12 2011 : 1:09:19 PM
I agree with what everyone else has suggested. I think just dressing modestly (no miniskirts, heavy glitter makeup, tube tops, etc.) would be more than sufficient. I would say skirts at least knee-length, and maybe long sleeves. If you want to do a head covering that's great, but if not I don't think anyone will think ill of you. The Amish expect and anticipate that the English won't dress exactly like them. |
| MagnoliaWhisper |
Posted - Apr 12 2011 : 09:48:52 AM
It sure does Mary. I dress modest and most my dresses take around 5 yards of fabric for completion (nursing clothes so the top half is often double fabric'd). And boy...it adds up FAST!
http://www.heathersprairie.blogspot.com |
| MaryLD |
Posted - Apr 12 2011 : 05:30:37 AM
Thanks to everyone who has written.
Mary and John are very relaxed about everything, and have said not to worry. I wanted to hear from others, though! Again, my trip to Haiti at the same time of year last year prepared me for being in the heat without fans or AC!
I just wish I still lived near my old haunts, the $5 a yard fabric store on the $1 a yard fabric store! Modest stuff takes SOOOOO much more fabric, lol!
Mary LD
Haflingers- You can't have just one!
( I'm just one short of a drill team!) |
| walkinwalkoutcattle |
Posted - Apr 12 2011 : 04:07:46 AM
I think you are being very thoughtful and considerate-I'm sure it will be appreciated!
Farmgirl #2879 :)
Starbucks and sushi to green fried tomatoes and corn pudding-I wouldn't change it for the world.
www.cattleandcupcakes.blogspot.com
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| fiddlegirl89 |
Posted - Apr 11 2011 : 05:22:58 AM
We have friends who refer to themselves as "plain" but seem to be a lot like the Amish. We used to go stay with them every now and then. Once, when my aunt was a teenager, she went with us and came down for breakfast in tiny little shorts. Yikes! They've always been super nice, and never said anything about it. When I was little, my mom made both of us "plain" dresses (look Amish)just for the modesty...the plain folks knew we weren't joining up with them or anything like that. But before that, they didn't have any problem with us staying in their home and dressing like we usually dressed. Of course, we never dresses very...well, modern, I guess, anyway!
Now I go to the Amish around here (there are a lot!) to do some parts of my business and I always dress how I normally dress. Again, not very modern, always modest/old-fashioned. I never do any kind of headcovering thing at all. The Amish are always very gracious and friendly, and I think they expect us to be different, you know?
I just love circle skirts! :) I'm glad you like your's! The last time we visited our "plain" friends, I was grown and didn't wear the little girl dresses. (The style changes once you grow up and...have curves. LOL!) I didn't have a woman's dress to wear at the time, and I wore a cricle skirt. I think my mom wore one of her older plain dresses. I couldn't borrow one of her's...I'm built bigger.
Anyway, I think modest/old-fashioned etc would work fine, without going through too much trouble and worrying about it too much! Have fun!
http://www.custerfamilyfarm.com
Direct link to my blog: http://custerfamilyfarm.com/blog1/index.php?blog=3 |
| MagnoliaWhisper |
Posted - Apr 10 2011 : 9:52:49 PM
That's what I was thinking Meagan, it's the same for the Native Americans around here. Some of us (like me, cause not that I am proud of it, but just because of the way I was raised, we were not really raised in the Native American religion, when my grandma and grandpa "integrated" into main stream here they kind of left behind their native religious teachings. I mean we would hear things here and there about them, but they were of the "past") however, some Native Americans here where I live, have either stuck strongly to their root Native American religion, OR have went to the center here and began to research and bring their family back to it. And in those who are very devout in their Native American religion they do not believe in picture taking of themselves either (especially faces) and especially of their children! For different reasons then the Amish but still a religious belief. However, again it's a personal thing and can differ from Native American, to Native American, depending on if they are still in to their original native american religion, and how devout they are to that religion, or if they are even of a tribe that has that belief as part of their religion, etc.
http://www.heathersprairie.blogspot.com |
| dazed81 |
Posted - Apr 10 2011 : 9:30:46 PM
the photo taking is personal or regional. Many times if you ask they will tell you that they don't want their faces in the photos. Some don't want photos taken, some are okay.
Mamma to Ardyn Isabel (9-3-07) and Marek Owen (3-31-09)
An Original Farm Girl Transferred to a small town with marriage. 6 Buff Orpington Chicks and 14 year old "Boyd the Wonder Beagle"
You'll find us Blogging, Cloth Diapering, Breastfeeding, Sewing, Gardening, Crafting and Recycling.
www.adventuresineverydaylife.com |
| MagnoliaWhisper |
Posted - Apr 10 2011 : 6:23:30 PM
I think the picture taking may be regional or sect related. Cause I had thought that too cause of a Oprah program I watched. However, where I live is a large Amish communitee as well, seemed to me no one ever mentioned no pictures with them. But, to be quite honest I lived in the city and wasn't able to say yea nor nay with 100 percent knowledge. Then I moved back home, and live only down the street from a large Amish city/communitee and nope here they don't seem to mind the cameras or videos being taken. Cause at first I was very very careful about taking pics (only of animals, land, etc NEVER of the people so as not to upset them or violate their religious rights.) But, then I just noticed they didn't seem to mind others taking their pics. Then I watched a Dugger episode and they too visited a amish communittee and they were also filmed. So I wonder if it's different in each area?
http://www.heathersprairie.blogspot.com |
| LeighErica |
Posted - Apr 10 2011 : 2:01:27 PM
I would suggest as well, that you seek the advice of Mary and John about the visit....they will be able to provide more insight into how the specific family you are staying with will expect things done. One more item that I know from experience...do not take photos or videos of them ... they really do not like being photographed at all, nor their children. It is going to be an adventure you will never forget...I bet you come back all relaxed and calm because the distractions we have as "Englishers" will not be available on their farms...like internet, cell usage, tv's, ...I know when we go home and do not have access to that stuff....it is so much more enjoyable. July in Pa can get very humid and hot....sometimes the humidity will just feel overpowering...and the reason why I caution you about it is because when we go home in the summer and stay at DH Grandma's it is so hot....no AC and she is very frugal with electricity, so she doesn't like the fan run all night either...it gets a bit aggravating for me sometimes...but the benefits and experiences you will have will far outweigh the discomforts. I always remind myself it is just for a short while..our family is not Amish, but Pa. Dutch...similar in some ways, but without the religious restrictions and customs. More so similar in cooking and farming;) So excited for you....:) Erica |
| Ingrid |
Posted - Apr 10 2011 : 07:46:49 AM
A lightweight material for the scarf - I would probably try a cotton (muslin) for warm weather that will allow a bit of breeze to blow through. Have a great time I think it would be very interesting and a great way to gain some knowledge.
Give thanks to yourself everyday for all the wonderful things you do! |
| dazed81 |
Posted - Apr 09 2011 : 8:35:23 PM
This is totally crazy, I know, but I will tell you my amish story. I grew up in an Amish area, and don't think much of seeing them around, and we also shop at their country general stores frequently. I hadn't been to their furniture shop in a couple of years, and the one day I happened to be up that way, I thought I would stop in, and then I realized that I had the brightest tie dye tshirt ever on. I was a bit embarassed but I thought "they go all over and see people dressed in all kinds of clothing... this will be okay." When I got out of my navy blue, very amish looking van (more mennonite Amish in our area, no buggies) I went out to their outdoor furniture and they had some gorgeous adirondacks in all kinds of vibrant blues, lime greens, oranges, and yellows.
When I went inside the store, one of the owners came out of his office, and he is in a wheelchair, and he said "I noticed that you went to the bright colors first, do you like those more?" and I said "Now HOW would you know that I love bright colors" (there with my nose ring and my bright bright tie dye shirt and lime green flip flops) and he laughed the heartiest laugh you ever heard. It was an absolute joy. I told him that I DO love bright colors that that I love the way those bright colors look in the yard with the flowers, and how fresh and vibrant they are. His daughter came up front and started a conversation about how the blue brings out so many different flowers.
That's how I dress when I visit the amish :)
Mamma to Ardyn Isabel (9-3-07) and Marek Owen (3-31-09)
You'll find us Blogging, Cloth Diapering, Breastfeeding, Sewing, Gardening, Crafting and Recycling.
www.adventuresineverydaylife.com |
| cjeanjellybean |
Posted - Apr 09 2011 : 6:04:23 PM
Miss Mary,
How about a soft colored scarf or wide cloth head wrap? Those are fairly easy to find or stitch up quickly. That would be a "covering" without trying too hard. I agree with all the suggestions...modest but not overly conservative, unless that is the way you would normally dress. I'm sure they will appreciate your sensitivity & thoughtfulness! Blessings on your trip!
~Cassie Jean
Farmgirl #1356
" Stand still & let God move." ~The Isaacs |
| MaryLD |
Posted - Apr 09 2011 : 2:55:28 PM
Thanks to all who wrote back!!
Lots of helpful advise- we will be flying to PA from TX- I will have to google for a good bakery or market, lol, to give a nice hostess gift. Thanks for that tip, Michelle!
Erica, you summed it up with not insulting them by trying to look similar in dress. That was my main concern.Ingrid- any hair covering ideas?
Luckily, I barely wear jewelery- never wear makeup- or heels- and went to Haiti at the same time last summer! Oh, and I have no cleavage! I will bring a hand held fan. I have a pattern for dresses I wore in my midwifery training- modest, long- ish, timeless. I have been wanting to make 2 more for work and this may be the time. My gosh, I made the first ones in 1999!
Mary LD
Haflingers- You can't have just one!
( I'm just one short of a drill team!) |
| LeighErica |
Posted - Apr 09 2011 : 08:26:30 AM
Hi Mary, I grew up around the Amish all my life...we are from the Leck Kill, PA area. I would suggest maintaining your current style but be conservative. Not alot of make up if any, no jewelry, no shorts or tight pants....but don't go overboard and try to look like them, because then they may be insulted too. Just be yourself and conservative. Where we are from, the Amish communities are not using electricity, so with it being in July and the hottest time of the year...if your friends do not have electricity or such, just be sure to be prepared on how to be fresh without our modern conviences. It will be a treat for sure to be with them. Looking forward to hearing about how your visit goes. Hugs, Erica |
| batznthebelfry |
Posted - Apr 09 2011 : 08:15:41 AM
Believe it or not the Amish understand the 'English' will be dresses different from them & are very understanding...just no cleavage, mini skirts or shorts...lol.....& wear comfortable shoes! Skirts that are at the knee or below or non tight fitting pants, country style dresses, no heavy jewelry...those are just some of the things you can do but remember be yourself & they will be understanding & accepting. also if you are staying with them bring a gift of food...ie coffee cake, cake, pie...enough to feed the family you are staying with.....or even a basket or fresh fruit from a market will be welcome to them....I know you will have a great time....Michele'
Chickens rule!
The Old Batz Farm
Hen #2622 |
| Ingrid |
Posted - Apr 09 2011 : 07:35:04 AM
I think that dressing in less colourful clothing and covering your hair would be the respectful way to go. I am sure your friends and the other community members would understand you probably won't have clothing that would be the same as their own. I am sure if you try to follow their dress customs without going out and buying something they will respect your efforts as you will be showing respect for their way of life.
Give thanks to yourself everyday for all the wonderful things you do! |
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