| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| KayB |
Posted - Jun 01 2014 : 4:58:25 PM
What do you do when your whole world is turned upside down? The last two years have been really rough and rocky but I kept hoping and praying for strength and clarity for this situation. I have just recently found out that the last 17+ years have probably been a lie and it hurts. My family & the friends who love me and have been there for me know what's going on and have been very loving and supportive. The answer I am feeling from God is not the one I was wanting, but is obviously His plan for me so I will do my best to accept it and move one. Pray for me, please.
I appreciate y'all listening to me when I'm all bummed out. Thank you so much.
KayB
Life's a dance you learn as you go
Farmgirl Sister #2351 |
| 20 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| churunga |
Posted - Jun 13 2014 : 08:59:55 AM
Oh Kay! So hurtful and discouraging this kind of betrayal is. I am a practical woman. Now that his stuff is out of your house it is time to get the rest of his stuff out of the rest of your life. Get good legal and financial advice on how to do this in your state. Oklahoma has fault and no fault divorce so you are covered there. The most important thing to get straight is the debt. Be very careful if you have any debt in both of your names. Find a support group to join for in person support and advice gained from personal experience. Cry if you have to. Swear if you want to. It is all release.
Marie, Sister #5142
Farmgirl of the Month May 2014
Try everything once and the fun things twice. |
| darlenelovesart |
Posted - Jun 12 2014 : 9:08:25 PM
My prayers continue for you.
blessings and thank you so much for serving.
darlene
I have learned that to have a good friend is the purest of all God's gifts, for it is a love that has no exchange of payment.
by Frances Farmer
Just follow God unquestioningly.
Because you love Him so, for if you trust His judgment there is nothing you need to know.
I trust in you Jesus... |
| brightmeadow |
Posted - Jun 12 2014 : 8:27:44 PM
I am afraid to post this, so beware,this post may not be politically correct across all faiths- stop reading if you are going to be judgemental now.
I have found that advice from so-called Christian "friends" does not always meet their Scriptural references, but instead reflects their political beliefs.
I too have had a spouse who chose to have a sexual and familial relationship outside of our marriage. This betrayed the marriage covenant. We divorced (I took some heat from my so-called Christian friends for that) and my life is now better. I remarried (in the Catholic church, legally allowed because my first spouse had been married before he married me)
I had some personal spiritual revelations (in prayer) and what they boil down to is this: God does not want me to be in an earthly marriage that does not reflect the love between the "bridegroom" and the "church" - the station of earthly marriage is to train us for the heavenly relationship that awaits us. Do you need scriptural reference for this? I will find it.
You shall eat the fruit of the labor of your hands - You shall be happy and it shall be well with you. -Psalm 128.2
http://brightmeadowfarms.blogspot.com http://brightmeadowknits.blogspot.com
http://www.ravelry.com/people/Brightmeadow |
| LaLa |
Posted - Jun 06 2014 : 8:47:13 PM
I'm so saddened for you. That is truly heartbreaking. You've my thoughts and prayers - and please accept my sincere thanks for your service, and your SILs service to this country.
http://lalauland.tumblr.com
http://lalauland.etsy.com
Follow me on Twitter: @lalauland
DH and I share a blog: http://wesubtleties.tumblr.com
Follow on Twitter: @wesubtleties |
| Cozynana |
Posted - Jun 06 2014 : 04:04:06 AM
Kay, have been through this with friends. It is so hard and unjust. My friends found the busier you can be the better. Keep your calendar full, volunteer, have someone over for lunch, go to the movie.....anything to get through the day. Sending prayers your way. Wish I could minimize your pain, not fair you have to go through this. |
| Ninibini |
Posted - Jun 05 2014 : 08:05:20 AM
Oh Kay... I'm so sorry. My heart absolutely ached when I read your posts. I wish I had the answers. What I can tell you is that God really does love you more than you'll ever know. And He DOES have a plan for you, and it will be more wonderful than you can ever imagine. It's just very hard to see right now. Remember that He is the Light in your darkness. He is your Supply. Your Helpmeet. HE will NEVER leave nor forsake you. And He will be right there beside you in your time of need. Believe me - I know. I really, really, REALLY do know. You are not alone in this - at all.
Betrayal is a profound injustice; a spiritual crime that brings profound pain and emotional suffering that simply cannot be put into words. Every one must deal with it in her own way, but the experience of getting through is very similar - and there is no getting around it, you have to go THROUGH. It's like being hit with all the stages of grief all a once - as one friend puts it, like being in a blender, getting bombarded from every angle. It's brutal, and it's overwhelming, to say the least. Whatever you do, PLEASE resist any temptation to beat yourself up over this, trying to figure out "why" and what you could've done to prevent it. A person can make herself crazy wondering "why" and "what if". In truth, there is no "why" that can justify, and you weren't allowed any opportunity to do anything to prevent it. So cruel. He always had control in this, and you had none. The truth is, though, that NOW you DO have control. Despite everything you're going through, you can make wonderful choices for a bright future. And I know you will. I KNOW you will. Just take it all one breath at a time. Be kind and gentle with yourself right now. Allow yourself plenty of time to digest, rest and reset. Find your path to healing in your own time. You WILL have all the wonderful good that God has in store for you! Just stick closely by His side - you'll see! :) Tough times don't last, but tough farmgirls do!
We love you dearly sister. You are in my prayers. And please know, like all our other farmgirl sisters, I'm always here if you need to talk. Our farmgirls sisters are amazing sources of love, strength, encouragement and prayer - we are very blessed to have them. Especially in times like this. God love and bless you.
Hugs -
Nini
Farmgirl Sister #1974
God gave us two hands... one to help ourselves, and one to help others!
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| darlenelovesart |
Posted - Jun 04 2014 : 8:28:49 PM
Kay, I will lift you up in prayer, I understand what that is like and I am so sorry it is happening to you. When I was in my early twenties I was married and had two little ones and I went to a garden club and when I came home, my husband had abandoned us. That really hurts and I didn't know why! and it is so hard on the children.. I had my bad and good years, but God has brought me through it, and I just couldn't have done it without him. Pray alot and give it all to God he will carry you through this.
Blessings
darlene
I have learned that to have a good friend is the purest of all God's gifts, for it is a love that has no exchange of payment.
by Frances Farmer
Just follow God unquestioningly.
Because you love Him so, for if you trust His judgment there is nothing you need to know.
I trust in you Jesus... |
| hudsonsinaf |
Posted - Jun 02 2014 : 3:05:26 PM
Kay - I am so sincerely sorry! My aunt was married to my uncle for over 30 years, when he decided he was a woman instead.... After the initial anger/grieving, she said she started focusing on the future rather than the problem. Her analogy was actually a scene from Patch Adams (Do you know the movie?) Basically the scene is of an older man in a mental institution that would hold up 4 fingers and ask everyone how many they saw. If they sad 4, he would laugh at them and call them idiots. After Patch (played by Robin Williams) fixed the older man's cup, he did the same with him.... but then he taught Patch that to see the real answer, he needed to quit focusing on his fingers and look beyond. When you focus beyond the four fingers, you see double.... in the same way, if you quit focusing on the problem, but rather look beyond it to the future, things look differently. It really helped my aunt, and perhaps it will help you as well. Know that you are being lifted to our Heavenly Father who sees even more than we do.... we see only the present, while He sees and knows the future and His plan for us! <3
~ Shannon
http://hudson-everydayblessings.blogspot.com/ |
| KayB |
Posted - Jun 02 2014 : 1:16:45 PM
I didn't note - he is not supporting me in any way, shape or form. I found out he qualified for food stamps and doesn't even try to get me groceries. He walked off a job he had had for 15 years over a year ago and has been working putting in new shelving for Dollar General Stores in other states (which is where the girlfriend is, with him). He once said he would take the house away from me, but he's making $10 an hour and we used my military & VA disability to get this house - so I'll be damned he gets it. He did total his car and get picked up for DUI this past December and says he is having to pay all of this off, but it's nice to know he'd rather be with the girlfriend then be home and talk to me.
I refuse to believe any more "I love you"s from him.
KayB
Life's a dance you learn as you go
Farmgirl Sister #2351 |
| KayB |
Posted - Jun 02 2014 : 1:00:57 PM
Ladies,
Thanks so much. It does have to do with my marriage, the man I have known & cared about for over 30 years and been married to for 17+ years (we broke up for 15 years). He has decided that it's okay to have a 45-year-old girlfriend and he's 60. This past weekend I packed up all of his stuff and put it in the storage building. Between crying hysterically and cussing like a sailor I feel a bit better. I think it's when I'm alone that it hits me the worst. My girls are both grown and live elsewhere with their kids because my SILs are active duty soldiers. I am trying to be strong and being around other folks has helped; however, even with my doggie waiting for me at home, I still sometimes dread going to the house.
I know there is a reason for everything, and I'm sure there's something else waiting around the corner, but some days it's just too much so that's why I turned here. It can't hurt to have others putting in a good word for me, too. And I do appreciate it, more than you will ever know.
Thank you so much.
KayB
Life's a dance you learn as you go
Farmgirl Sister #2351 |
| hudsonsinaf |
Posted - Jun 02 2014 : 12:50:29 PM
Kay - You are added to my prayer journal as well!
~ Shannon
http://hudson-everydayblessings.blogspot.com/ |
| Killarney |
Posted - Jun 02 2014 : 12:26:48 PM
Kay, adding your name to my prayer journal. Praying for The PEACE that only God can give!! for you!
Connie
Imagine....#3392 |
| ceejay48 |
Posted - Jun 02 2014 : 12:12:25 PM
Kay,
Praying for God's love, strength, comfort and encouragement to just surround you!!
PRAYING!
CJ
..from the barefoot farmgirl in SW Colorado...sister chick #665.
2010 Farmgirl Sister of the Year
Mother Hen: FARMGIRLS SOUTHWEST HENHOUSE
my aprons - http://www.facebook.com/FarmFreshAprons
living life - www.snippetscja.blogspot.com
from my heart - www.fromacelticheart.blogspot.com
from my hubby - www.aspenforge.blogspot.com |
| crafter |
Posted - Jun 02 2014 : 10:59:57 AM
Kay- I am sorry that you have a tugh spot- please know that I am keeping you in my prayers and close to my heart. We are here for you and lean on HIM and on us whenever you need!!!
Lori
God has promised strength for the day, rest for the labor, light for the way, grace for the trials, help from above, unfailing sympathy and undying love.
We are here to love each other, serve each other and uplift each other. |
| Beverley |
Posted - Jun 02 2014 : 10:46:25 AM
Kay, I am so sorry you are going through a bad time in your life. Just remember you will make it through this and you will be even smarter for it. I will pray for you that it will pass and you can go on! Love from someone who has been there and came out on the other side!!
Folks will know how large your soul is by the way you treat a dog....Charles F. Doran
beverley baggett
Beverley with an extra E...
https://sites.google.com/site/bevsdoggies/
http://bevsdoggies.blogspot.com/ |
| Calicogirl |
Posted - Jun 01 2014 : 10:48:46 PM
Kay,
I am so sorry for the hurt and pain that you are going through. I am praying for the Lord to strengthen you, grant you comfort and peace and healing in your heart. I am so sorry. Please just keep your eyes on the Lord, He is faithful.
Farmgirl Sister #5392
By His Grace, For His Glory
~Sharon
http://amerryheartjournal.blogspot.com/
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| frannie |
Posted - Jun 01 2014 : 9:43:03 PM
when i am feeling so blue it helps me to know that i am not alone and that others are praying and thinking of me....so i will be keeping you in my prayers .
also kayb,,,just as an aside. i have had a lot of times in my life when i had an unplanned start over...my first one was after 17 years of marriage and it was devastating to me....i thought i would not survive it...
one of my wise women in my life told me once...we don't learn our valueable lessons in our good times but in our troubled times...so now when i am experiencing a bad time i look for the lessons just like it seems you are doing.
the other think i do which you are already doing is reach out to people that i trust. i am sure you know by now that the farmgirls are here for one another. it sounds like you already have at least 3 farmgirls here that want to help you or at least be there for you. please keep us posted on your changes.
ps...it was 25 years ago that i was in the middle of a bad situation and wondered what would happen in my life and i took that opportunity to become a farmer...something i alsways wanted to do...so just know that every cloud has a silver lining...just be open to it.
love
frannie in texas
farmgirl sister#807
home of "green"crafts,
where no scrap is left behind
(http://abunnystale.wordpress.com/)
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| Cindy Lou |
Posted - Jun 01 2014 : 7:44:13 PM
KayB,
I am praying for you for comfort and peace. As painful as it may be, a major shock can be life changing in a very positive way when you make changes you had never dreamed you would need to do.
Susan
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?"
Mary Oliver |
| jenne.f |
Posted - Jun 01 2014 : 6:17:28 PM
Dearest KayB,
I also understand how it feels when your life is turned
upside down. It hurts so much. For now just take one day at a
time and trust God. He will show you the way, in His time.
prayers, love and blessings,
~blessings~
Jenne
Farmgirl #4616
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| churunga |
Posted - Jun 01 2014 : 5:18:46 PM
It is everso sad and humiliating to find out something like this has happened in one's life. I can remember a number of years of years going by convinced that I could be someone I was not and the people who fueled my delusions by encouraging them. I could "if only" myself for the rest of my life. Instead, I determined to find my true path and to listen only to those people who had my best interest at heart and never asked me for anything for their good counsel. Yes, now is the time to move on knowing now how to avoid the same situation in the future. We are here for you.
Marie, Sister #5142
Farmgirl of the Month May 2014
Try everything once and the fun things twice. |
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