| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| KayB |
Posted - Jan 28 2014 : 12:12:45 PM
As many of you know or may remember, I lost my son almost 2 years ago. Last March I found out my husband was having an affair with the daughter of one of his old buddies. My husband is 59. They hooked up just a few months after losing Joseph. He moved out the week before Thanksgiving of 2012. He kept saying it would work out and moved back home in January of 2013 - after walking off his job of 15 years. We have been married 16 years (almost 17), been together 18 years, and known each other over 30 years. He tells me they're not together, he doesn't know where she is, hasn't seen her or spoken with her in months. Well, I found some pretty racy e-mails between the two of them from earlier this month and she e-mailed me that they've been together. I finally got her to leave me alone - now I need the strength to go on alone. I have decided that it's time to call it quits. He says they're just friends but I find it hard to believe as I have caught him in so many lies. This isn't the first time I've had to go through this and it is killing me. My girls are standing beside me through all of this as are my friends, but I feel like a few more prayers won't hurt. Just pray to give me strength and help me weather this new storm. I know there's a reason for everything, but I am getting so tired of it all. I am already on anti-depressants and those have helped. I just need prayers for strength and to stop being angry all of the time.
Thank you.
KayB
Life's a dance you learn as you go
Farmgirl Sister #2351 |
| 18 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| Calicogirl |
Posted - Jan 31 2014 : 10:25:25 AM
Dear Kay,
I am so sorry that you have experienced so much heartache. I am lifting you up in prayer that the Lord would comfort you, strengthen you, revive you, heal you and grant peace in your heart.
Farmgirl Sister #5392
By His Grace, For His Glory
~Sharon
http://amerryheartjournal.blogspot.com/
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| auntsmelly |
Posted - Jan 30 2014 : 4:42:32 PM
Kay,
I too am sorry to hear you are dealing with this. I will certainly be praying for you.
Keep your chin up and know that a new beautiful life will begin for you. Just think
of how much you will help the next person you meet who is going through something
like this.
You're right, we need to be still and listen. God's timing is perfect. Everything will
unfold as it should. You are in His arms and He's holding you tight- just keep praying.
Love to you.
Then you will call, and the Lord will answer; you will cry for help, and He will say: Here Am I.
-Isaiah 58:9
Jenny, Blessed Farmgirl #4359 |
| naturemaiden |
Posted - Jan 30 2014 : 11:16:00 AM
Kay I am sorry you are going through all of this. You will know in your gut what the best decision is for you. I will keep you in prayer.
Connie
http://www.naturemaiden.com/ - Handcrafted Soap & Candles
http://modern-day-laura.blogspot.com/ -Filled with everything I love!
http://www.thriftyfarmgirl.com/ - Vintage Sewing Machine Parts
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| Kirksmom71 |
Posted - Jan 30 2014 : 09:26:38 AM
So sorry you are going though this....you are in my prayers for a fair resolution to this very sad situation.
My best to all,
Mel
Sassy City Girl with Farmgirl Fantasies! |
| churunga |
Posted - Jan 30 2014 : 08:12:52 AM
I apologize for the advice I gave. It was inappropriate.
Of course you can let him in for clothing and other necessities. Let him know that is okay. He must be rather confused and frustrated.
Start getting all your financial records together and sort them by what is in your name only, his name only and both of your names. This is especially true with debt. Credit card companies do not honor the conclusions of a divorce decree. Cards in both your names must be canceled and, if necessary, reopened under one name. Try to find a non-profit financial advisor to help you out.
After you get the records together, analyze your resources and decide where you want to be at this time next year and make plans to get yourself there. You can do it. Remember to treat yourself well while you are going through this by allowing yourself to grieve. Remember that this is an end and also a beginning. Stay strong.
Marie, Sister #5142
Try everything once and the fun things twice. |
| KayB |
Posted - Jan 30 2014 : 05:58:16 AM
Thank you so much, ladies. I cannot lock him out and move his stuff out until I can get the money to hire a lawyer and serve papers. The house has both of our names on it and Oklahoma is a community property state, so I am kind of stuck in that situation. I was packing up his stuff when he showed up yesterday for clean clothes for court (oh, yeah, he totalled his car and got picked up DUI back in November) and would be back tomorrow (today). He also said he would get a lawyer and police to force me to let him in if I started this with him. In 2 weeks I am picking up a bedroom suite and will be transforming my extra bedroom downstairs into my room. I will put a lock on the door that requires and key and not let him have one. I was so upset and almost hysterical yesterday that my friend Regina just starting praying and we are turning it all over to God now. Obviously I am trying to push my agenda and am told to be still and listen, so I'm going to try my darnedest to do that.
But I do appreciate all the prayers and good wishes.
Thank you.
KayB
Life's a dance you learn as you go
Farmgirl Sister #2351 |
| Cozynana |
Posted - Jan 29 2014 : 6:28:00 PM
Not only am I going to pray for you, I am going to pray for a changed heart in your husband. Regardless if you stay together or separate I feel a strong conviction that praying for him to resolve issues will help you be safer and saner in the future. Julia has a great suggestion. My girlfriend went through something very similar and has grown so much with counseling. She would tell you it is the best thing she ever did for herself. So sorry for all your grief. What is so ironic, this girlfriend lost her 4 year old in a car wreck. That was years ago and changed her husband's personality, he was never the same. Sad what grief does to some. Seems so unfair all the way around. Small world, some stories are the same where ever we live. Take care.....hugs. |
| JuliaCatherine |
Posted - Jan 29 2014 : 6:03:04 PM
Kay, My heart is heavy for you and your situation. I am praying for your strength. May I encourage you to seek a counselor? I have been going to counseling for several years now and what a difference it makes in my day to day. I have someone to help me sort things out, and just vent too. There are tools that counseling can give you as well as you begin a new chapter in your life. hugs, Julia
"You are where you are for such a time as this--not to make an impression- but to make a difference."
Ann Voskamp |
| Ninibini |
Posted - Jan 29 2014 : 03:09:43 AM
Kay - reading all you are going through just pierces my heart. You are in my prayers, sister. I'm so, so, so sorry you're going through all of this. Much love - Nini
Farmgirl Sister #1974
God gave us two hands... one to help ourselves, and one to help others!
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| churunga |
Posted - Jan 28 2014 : 10:17:16 PM
When you and your friend get all his stuff packed up just take it to the Salvation Army and donate it. Also change the locks on all the doors and out buildings and secure your car. Let local law enforcement know so they can cruise by the house every once in a while to see that you are safe. Change all your passwords and remove his name and/or authorization from all the financial accounts you hold in common. Let your divorce attorney sort the money out. I not certain if you need these precautions but it is wise to do this just to be safe and to have some closure. I'll bet you'll feel better once all his stuff is out of the house.
Marie, Sister #5142
Try everything once and the fun things twice. |
| darlenelovesart |
Posted - Jan 28 2014 : 9:40:27 PM
Kay,
I am raising you up in prayer for the strength to go through this and to be able to do what you need to do keep from the anger that is rising in you. God understands and he is there with you to comfort you and guide you through it and to something else better in your life.
Take care
blessings
darlene
I have learned that to have a good friend is the purest of all God's gifts, for it is a love that has no exchange of payment.
by Frances Farmer
Just follow God unquestioningly.
Because you love Him so, for if you trust His judgment there is nothing you need to know.
I trust in you Jesus... |
| KayB |
Posted - Jan 28 2014 : 8:01:16 PM
I want to thank you all so much. I appreciate the support. I haven't posted in quite a while but I know that farmgirls are the best "family" I can have right now. I love all of you and can only say thank you. You all shored me up when I lost Joseph and I know with this support I can get through this too. And I can feel you shoring up my faith in God which I have recently lost.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
KayB
Life's a dance you learn as you go
Farmgirl Sister #2351 |
| wildflower17 |
Posted - Jan 28 2014 : 7:38:24 PM
Kay...your request for prayer and the trials you are going through touch my heart so deeply...praying that God will give you strength...peace...and wisdom as you work through things day by day...
Hugs!
Judy
THERE IS ALWAYS...ALWAYS...ALWAYS SOMETHING TO BE THANKFUL FOR...
Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains unawakened...
"Country Girl at Heart...Blessed Beyond Measure"!!!
Farm Girl #5440
Farm Girl of The Month September 2013 |
| lovinRchickens |
Posted - Jan 28 2014 : 4:27:04 PM
Kay, I am praying you find the strength to continue forward. Your story makes me so sad please try and keep upbeat. You will have prayers from me and so many other wonderful farmgirls.
Farmgirl #5111
Blessings
~Kelly~ |
| Killarney |
Posted - Jan 28 2014 : 2:13:25 PM
Kay, I will be praying for you and your family. You can never have too many prayers!
Hugs!
Connie
Imagine....#3392 |
| ceejay48 |
Posted - Jan 28 2014 : 1:58:10 PM
Kay,
I, too, will be lifting you up to the Father . . . praying for quidance, wisdom, healing, comfort, encouragement, strength . . . EVERYTHING you need! I'm sooooo sorry for this trial!
PRAYING!
CJ
..from the barefoot farmgirl in SW Colorado...sister chick #665.
2010 Farmgirl Sister of the Year
Mother Hen: FARMGIRLS SOUTHWEST HENHOUSE
my aprons - http://www.facebook.com/FarmFreshAprons
living life - www.snippetscja.blogspot.com
from my heart - www.fromacelticheart.blogspot.com
from my hubby - www.aspenforge.blogspot.com |
| nndairy |
Posted - Jan 28 2014 : 12:33:26 PM
Kay,
Sending a big hug to you. I will definitely pray for you. You are already strong to say enough is enough, but I will pray for extra strength when you're feeling down. I also pray that your family and friends will bring you joy in the tough times so that you can be happy again. We're here for you :) Hang in there.
Heather
Farmgirl Sister #4701
http://nndairy.blogspot.com/
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| crafter |
Posted - Jan 28 2014 : 12:20:32 PM
Kay,
First I am so sorry that you are going thru this trial....You can count on me and my prayer warriors to lift you up. I pray for strength and guidance- love to soften your heart- although you have every right to be angry, I know I would be too!!! Please keep us posted and if there is anything I can help with ....please message me!!
sending love to you!!
Lori
God has promised strength for the day, rest for the labor, light for the way, grace for the trials, help from above, unfailing sympathy and undying love.
We are here to love each other, serve each other and uplift each other. |
