| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| Lainey Lou |
Posted - May 03 2012 : 03:02:56 AM
Dear Sisters,
I feel almost guilty asking for your prayers, but as I am all ready having a hard time dealing with this and know prayers will help me in spite of myself I am asking.
The first anniversary of my mothers death is coming soon and on May 9, she would have been 78, so she is really in my thoughts right now. I am the oldest of seven children and the only one who doesn't live within an hours drive of the rest of them in Texas. Before she passed I went and spent a month with her - basically for us to say our goodbyes. When I left I didn't expect to see her again and neither of us had a problem with that. When she did pass it was very unexpected and I didn't go down because I had already said my goodbyes and I wanted to save my money to go when we had our family and friends thing ( she was cremated and we had sort of a wake) that she wanted done. There was nothing I could have done, my Mom didn't know what was going on and was very upset at being in the hospital and I just didn't want to remember her except the way she was when I last saw her. There were some who didn't think I was thinking of anyone but myself and I am still catching flack for it.
Now they are having a "Remember Grandma Day" around her birthday and my husband and I will be elsewhere on vacation we had made plans for long ago. This will probably become a yearly thing and I let them know we wouldn't be there this year but would keep it in mind in the coming years. Now I am hearing the same 'I don't care about anyone but myself' stuff and what goes with it. It makes it hard to call and talk to people because I am unaware who is saying what, etc. If I don't call that just makes it worse and it is keeping me all upset all of the time.
So without making this a novel to explain all the reasons everyone feels the way they do I am asking for you to help me help myself have the strength to do what needs to be done with a prayer. In my heart I know that what needs to happen is what will happen, but sometimes it's awful hard to remember and keep that in mind. I appreciate all of y'alls help and your shoulders and ears.
Like I said I feel almost guilty asking for a prayer when there are those who need your prayers for much more important things, but I don't have any friends here to ask and family (some of them) are the ones that are giving me a hard time.
So I will leave you with my request. I love y'all for listening.
Lainey Lou 
Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we're here we might as well dance.
|
| 12 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| ptroupe |
Posted - May 05 2012 : 4:38:23 PM
My prayers are with you. Just remember that you and your mother were in sync when you stayed a month. She would not want you to feel bad about these issues. Some people just love to make others feel guilty and suffer. Trust God. Don't worry. Have a wonderful vacation and go next year when they do something.
Hugs,
Portia
Wishing for the country life! |
| Cherime |
Posted - May 05 2012 : 06:32:30 AM
praying
CMF |
| farmmilkmama |
Posted - May 04 2012 : 7:18:57 PM
Prayers to you, my dear. What a terrible situation to have to deal with. Sometimes family can make everything harder. I pray for strength and wisdom for you to know how to deal with this situation, and to have peace with the fact that you can't help what those family members think or how they will react to how you are led to deal with this or them. Hang in there, dear. We're praying for you!
--* FarmMilkMama *--
Farmgirl Sister #1086
Be yourself.
Everyone else is already taken.
-Oscar Wilde
www.farmfoodmama.blogspot.com
www.thehmmmschoolingmom.blogspot.com |
| Emily Anna |
Posted - May 04 2012 : 4:45:53 PM
Lainey Lou, I am so sorry you are going through this. You can't control what other people say or do. I know it's easier said than done, but you have to brush off what they say. You know whats in your heart. You know what your mother meant to you. Unfortunately, when you live further away from family you have to be selective of when you go to visit. Funerals are nice so you can pay respect, but you got to spend a month with her while she was still alive. That in itself is a treasure! The second trip you chose to go so you could see family. How could they argue with that?
I know there are a lot of hurt feelings, but keep in contact with your siblings. If you can, talk to them about how you feel so you can clear the air. If they insist on still being upset about it, don't bring up the subject again, but continue loving them and keeping in contact. Life is short. If something ever happens to any of you, you won't want to be sitting there with a head and heart full of "should haves." I will keep you and your family in my prayers!
Emily |
| jan49829 |
Posted - May 03 2012 : 4:39:09 PM
Yes, Lainey Lou, we are all here for you and praying for you. I pray that you find comfort in yourself knowing that you are a good person and even if you cannot be there physically, your thoughts will be.
Janet
Farmgirl Sister #3340
http://hardatworkcrafts.blogspot.com
http://Jan49829.etsy.com
|
| Ninibini |
Posted - May 03 2012 : 2:47:04 PM
I'm praying for you, too, Lainey Lou. You can't make everyone happy, you can't make everyone understand, so don't give it any more thought, don't argue or try to explain. Don't worry what others say or think, and don't let it affect you. Just be your loving self - that's the best you can do! :) You know your heart, and God knows your heart, and that's all that matters. May He give you great wisdom in dealing with your loved ones, and peace in the decisions you make. Your farmgirl sisters will be praying you through! Hugs - Nini
Farmgirl Sister #1974
God gave us two hands... one to help ourselves, and one to help others!
|
| Lainey Lou |
Posted - May 03 2012 : 1:00:19 PM
Thank you good ladies for all your kind words and reassurances. It helps more than you can imagine. I feel like I am doing the right thing but when others come down on me so hard it seems to bring out the self doubt, at least in me it does.
Thank you all,
Lainey Lou
Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we're here we might as well dance.
|
| Annika |
Posted - May 03 2012 : 09:51:03 AM
I have dealt with much the same situation for years, my husband had double pneumonia when my mother passed and I couldn't leave him alone so sick to go to her funeral. I understand how hard it is to deal with family members when they have this kind of attitude. You are most assuredly welcome to a big bunch of hugs and wishes for peace. As Christine says, everyone grieves differently, and you are know less deserving of peace and comfort. So, blessings of comfort and peace to you during this difficult time. Hugs
Annika
Farmgirl & sister #13
http://thegimpyfarmgirl.blogspot.com/
http://pinterest.com/annikaloveshats/
|
| SpyChicken |
Posted - May 03 2012 : 09:18:57 AM
Lainey Lou, I am sending you a hug and a prayer...it is never easy to lose a loved one and everyone grieves differently. Please don't let people make you feel guilty. You were with your mom before she passed away and strengthened the bond between you. No one can take that away from you. It's unfortunate that you will miss the Remember Grandma day but sometimes these things can't be helped. Your mom knows you love her even if you can't be there-hold tight to your memories and love for her. |
| Bear5 |
Posted - May 03 2012 : 09:04:11 AM
Sweet Lainey Lou, I will pray for you. Hugs to you.
Marly
"It's only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on earth- and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up- that we will begin to live each day to the fullest, as if it was the only one we had." Elisabeth Kurler-Ross |
| annielaurel |
Posted - May 03 2012 : 05:30:39 AM
Lainey Lou, you are in my prayers. I pray that you will find strength and peace about the situation. Sometimes others want to make you feel guilty to relieve themselves of their own guilt whatever that may be. The problem is theirs not anything that you do. God knows your heart and that is what matters. Life is for the living and you were there with your mother when it counted, before she died. All the flowers, guilt and whatever after she is gone mean nothing. The important thing is that you were with her and were able to tell her that you loved her.
Be good to yourself and rememeber you got to spend the time with your mother. What a blessing that is.
Hugs,
Nancy
Farmgirl Sister #2301
Make everyday a celebration of the heart.
|
| natesgirl |
Posted - May 03 2012 : 05:09:29 AM
You will be in my prayers.
I understand exactly what you are sayin. I have had very similar things said about me for similar reasons. I was unable to go to a family members funeral because it was 2 states away and I couldn't afford it. There are several family members who still hold a grudge years later.
I tell myself that I have to live my life for my living family and if others can't understand that they are the ones who have to deal with that problem. I know it seems harsh, but I can't take away from my hubby and children for someone else, living or not.
It's just the way I live my life.
Farmgirl Sister #1438
God - Gardening - Family - Is anything else important? |
