| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| GirlwithHook |
Posted - Jan 31 2012 : 08:33:59 AM
So, the Mister recently learned that a female friend of his has "designs" on him. I've been telling him this for months, but something she said or did when he was doing some repair work for her aunt finally got it through his skull.
The Mister is a very handsome man, there's no doubt, and before I came along he was the kind who could have any girl he wanted. We've been fighting a lot lately (money mostly), and well...I'm concerned. I've asked him to cut off all contact with her, or at the very least to tell her firmly that he is committed to me and they can never be more than friends.
Please pray that he does the right thing; I really don't want to have to leave him.
A hook, a book, and a good cup of coffee.... |
| 20 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| GirlwithHook |
Posted - Feb 06 2012 : 1:43:50 PM
Suzanne, that sounds like the same kind of thing...I've never understood what is wrong with people like that. Are they desperate and pathetic, or is it some kind of "trophy" for them?
Your husband sounds like a prize! He should give lessons to other husbands. :)
I really do believe Ric and I were meant to be together: while discussing our childhoods, etc., we discovered that our paths had crossed numerous times throughout our entire lives. (We first met as children in the park near my aunt's house--and it was a weird fluke that he and his mom were even there since they almost never visited my aunt's town.) He often says that he wishes we'd somehow stayed in touch all those years; it might have saved us both a lot of heartache.
Thanks for the advice; that was exactly what I needed to hear. 
A hook, a book, and a good cup of coffee.... |
| LuckyMommyof5 |
Posted - Feb 05 2012 : 5:31:07 PM
Alyce - I am so sorry this is going on. What an anxiety-inducing situation.
When I was pregnant with my first, about 10 years ago, my husband was an intern and I discovered one of his fellow interns had a "thing" for him. I realized this after seeing her actions and demeanor towards my husband at a department Christmas party, and then later at another holiday party that same year hosted by another intern. For instance, she kept trying to engage my husband in "shop talk" and making little subtle digs at me (you know in the way a woman would pick up on, but a man wouldn't). But my husband only had eyes for me and barely responded to a word she said. Then I overheard her (she didn't see me) talking to a friend she brought to the second party talking about my husband and how she really thought she would have a "chance" to be noticed by him if he weren't married! Imagine that! That woman was lucky I didn't go preggers hormonal crazy on her!
I told my husband what her intentions were and he was truly shocked and horrified. He never even noticed her interest and was truly sickened that anyone would even think of having intentions towards a married man. My husband is as loyal as a basset hound and upstanding and honest as the day is long. He gave her a definitive cold shoulder from then on and she must have gotten the message, because not too long after, she got another job and moved out of state.
I do wonder how desperate and lacking in all morals and self esteem one has to be to actually try to "catch" someone who is married!
My thoughts are, if he told you that you were right about this woman, then he has no interest in her at all. If he did, I doubt he would have told you she threw herself at him! And just because you've had some rough patches, doesn't mean things are broken. A very wise friend of mine (who has been married almost 20 years now!) told me once that disagreements in a relationship are nothing more than "growing pains," and when things are meant to be and you work things out, the relationship will be stronger for it.
My husband and I have been married more than ten years now - he's my happily ever after!
Farmgirl Sister #3243
"The real things haven't changed. It is still best to be honest and truthful; to make the most of what we have; to be happy with simple pleasures; and have courage when things go wrong." - Laura Ingalls Wilder |
| GirlwithHook |
Posted - Feb 01 2012 : 10:44:45 AM
I've seen it happen, sadly (one of my favorite cousins is divorced because of a woman like that). I've read that they pretend to have a lot in common with the guy they want so they seem like a "better choice" than his wife or girlfriend. Yuck!
That is an awesome story. You go girl! I recently had a school acquaintance try to chat me up on Facebook, and ew...first of all, he and I are related by marriage! (That cut that conversation short in a hurry.)
I am glad you and your hubby patched things up so quickly. 10 years? Congratulations!
I think he will learn that the hard way--I hope sooner rather than later. Women like that are never anyone's friend.
A hook, a book, and a good cup of coffee.... |
| FebruaryViolet |
Posted - Feb 01 2012 : 08:56:01 AM
Yes, I know those types of women--and it does work with some men, sadly. Even men who are happy in their relationships.
Well, the internet is, unfortunately, rife with that sort of thing--in fact, it happened to me a few weeks ago when my former 9th grade boyfriend contacted me out of the blue (he's divorcing) and wanted to talk about "old times" and how I was the "one who got away"...all that I could think of was how stuck in the past these people are, how out of touch with themselves they obviously are, and how he clearly didn't recall me dumping his black leather motor cycle jacket onto his lawn around midnight in a torrential downpour and stomping it into the muddy ground after his 4th or 20th indescretion with other girls. Selective memory is AMAZING!!!!!
We patched up right quick--that was about 5 years ago, now, I guess and since then, we've celebrated 10 years of marriage and have a wonderful almost 3 year old daughter!
She'll move on, but he's going to have be firm--and he might just realize she's not that good of a friend, after all. Best of luck!!!
"Hey, I've got nothing to do today but smile..."
The Only Living Boy in New York, Paul Simon |
| GirlwithHook |
Posted - Feb 01 2012 : 08:14:22 AM
@Jonni--
Yes, she's lived with her aunt since she (the "friend") got divorced. She's very clingy and persistent, call him "kitten" and always inviting him out to dinner. Unfortunately, Mister thought nothing of it and hung out with her a few times since he considers her a good friend--and of course, that was just enough to encourage her. (If there was a "naive" emoticon, his would have to be the size of Siberia. *shakes her head and smiles*)
I am sorry you had to go through that with that nutjob...it sounds like she had a crush on your hubby as a kid and never got over it. Sad.  I hope you've managed to mend that rift? Glad your mess was over quickly!
A hook, a book, and a good cup of coffee.... |
| GirlwithHook |
Posted - Feb 01 2012 : 08:06:37 AM
Thanks. The girl is, frankly, messed up. Either she's had a life worth of a television movie, or she's a compulsive liar. She's divorced, not in good health, it's just a sad situation.
I am relieved, though, that he doesn't seem to see her that way.
A hook, a book, and a good cup of coffee.... |
| FebruaryViolet |
Posted - Feb 01 2012 : 08:05:49 AM
@Alyce--
I'm glad he came right out and told you--and it's encouraging that he shrugged her advances off. Is she always at her Aunt's place? If so, and she's persistent like I'd assume she is, she's not likely to take kind "no thank you's". He'll have to cut her off, or he'll have to be unkind.
The situation resolved itself rather quickly with my husband's "old friend"--she stopped asking him for drinks when he kept saying, "I'll see what my wife is doing that night..." and then the communication stopped all together when I saw her at one of his shows. I don't know if she felt like she was on dangerous ground, or if she realized she was being a real pain. I felt bad, though, for the rift it put between my husband and I and I really wanted to address it with her directly, but I chose not to. He admitted that he knew something was up on her end, because the communication started out really innocently, and when he gave her the "rundown of his stats" : happily married, 4 dogs, gardens, house, etc..., she kept trying to relive "old times" most of which make obviously a greater impact on her than him because he didn't remember them the same way...or if at all and avoided any mention of his wife, his family, etc. So, he had her number off the bat, and he said she was never his type, so it was a bit insulting to him that I assumed he would just run off with her...Again, it was never him that I mistrusted, but a crazy woman who contacts someone 28 years after the fact to relive memories from when they were 14!
"Hey, I've got nothing to do today but smile..."
The Only Living Boy in New York, Paul Simon |
| prayin granny |
Posted - Feb 01 2012 : 08:01:11 AM
Alyce,
So sorry! Prayers coming your way! What is wrong with women today?? There just are no boundaries and manners anymore!
It's a good sign that she doesn't seem at a to be someone he thinks of!!!
Hugs,
Linda
www.scatteredlittleblessings.blogspot.com |
| GirlwithHook |
Posted - Feb 01 2012 : 07:55:35 AM
Jennifer, thanks. I could use the positivity almost more than the prayers! 
A hook, a book, and a good cup of coffee.... |
| GirlwithHook |
Posted - Feb 01 2012 : 07:54:37 AM
Emily, thanks. The boy is a bit clueless. I think he got so used to girls fawning over him when he was single that, in some weird way, it doesn't even register with him anymore (he even said it was boring!).
I suppose that could be why it never dawned on him until she outright propositioned him....
A hook, a book, and a good cup of coffee.... |
| GirlwithHook |
Posted - Feb 01 2012 : 07:51:05 AM
Amy, thank you. I honestly suspect that the only way she WILL get the message is if he cuts her out of his life. After all, he talks about me all the time and she ignores it in favor of "me-want."
A hook, a book, and a good cup of coffee.... |
| GirlwithHook |
Posted - Feb 01 2012 : 07:48:55 AM
Lori, thanks! Sometimes I think life was easier when it was just myself and the bird...but doggone it, I love the man.
A hook, a book, and a good cup of coffee.... |
| GirlwithHook |
Posted - Feb 01 2012 : 07:47:05 AM
Mrs. Rooster (I just love that nickname btw), it sounds like your husband--and his supervisor--handled it extremely well! That girl sounds kind of needy and pathetic if she always has to stalk her co-workers...okay, and very creepy.
That's a good idea though: I should take it into account that he told me she was throwing herself at him.
A hook, a book, and a good cup of coffee.... |
| GirlwithHook |
Posted - Feb 01 2012 : 07:44:37 AM
Jonni, I will say this: he did come out and tell me she approached him, even prefacing it with an admission that I was right. He is very torn because he knows she is the kind who would start drama--plus, her aunt is trying to help him find a job that he could actually hold down. At the same time, he shrugged her off and said, "She's not my type. I chose you. You're the one I am building a life with. Is supper ready yet?"
I couldn't care less how he looks, frankly, because there is so much more to him than that. Ask me about his sense of humor, his generosity, or the poems that he writes for me. Unfortunately, his looks tend to attract the predatory girls like bees to a truck full of pollen.
How did the situation with your husband and his "old friend" work out?
A hook, a book, and a good cup of coffee.... |
| Bayou Girl |
Posted - Jan 31 2012 : 1:33:45 PM
Alyce,
I'm sending prayers up for you, and I'm sending lots of positive thoughts your way.
~Jennifer
#3803 |
| Emily Anna |
Posted - Jan 31 2012 : 12:48:44 PM
In a way, I see the fact that he didn't even realize she had a thing for him as a good sign. If you could see she had her fancy on him and he had no clue, then it must not have even been on his mind. Most guys would have picked up on that and if they had bad intentions, would have made more of it. I will pray that nothing becomes of this.
Emily |
| farmmilkmama |
Posted - Jan 31 2012 : 12:43:53 PM
Oh Alyce, that's not fair! I'm sorry this is happening and I'm hoping that your Mister does the right thing. I'll keep you and him in my thoughts and prayers. I'm hoping he cuts off all communication with her...and that SHE gets the message loud and clear! :)
--* FarmMilkMama *--
Farmgirl Sister #1086
Be yourself.
Everyone else is already taken.
-Oscar Wilde
www.farmfoodmama.blogspot.com
www.thehmmmschoolingmom.blogspot.com |
| crafter |
Posted - Jan 31 2012 : 11:15:40 AM
Alyce...
I'm sorry that this is happening.. I am sending lots of prayers your way! No advice- I don't have a husband, boyfriend- just me, my kids and Jack the dog...but I can send lots and lots of prayers!
Lori |
| MrsRooster |
Posted - Jan 31 2012 : 09:22:35 AM
My Rooster got a text from a gal at work. He came to me right away and showed it to me. She had gotten his number because she works in the office. My first instinct was to call her up. I quickly dashed that and remembered that he did tell me right away.
His supervisor asked her not to do it again. Rooster stayed away from the conversation as not to encourage. Needless to say, this wasn't the first time she had looked up someone's number and texted them. She was moved to another building. She has moved on to someone else.
It is a very hard thing to be in. I would think that your hubby would respect your wish for him not to have further contact with her. I am praying for you both.
www.mrsrooster.blogspot.com
www.flossesandcrosses.blogspot.com
www.morganicinstitute.blogspot.com
Farmgirl #1259
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| FebruaryViolet |
Posted - Jan 31 2012 : 08:43:27 AM
Dontcha just love those kindof gals? Insepid, conniving, sneaky. I have mixed feelings about you having to ask him to cut off contact with her, because honestly, that can backfire--having been here myself a few years ago when an old female friend from junior high (?) contacted my husband via myspace during her divorce...and kept contacting him, digging up old pics, remembering things about "shared memories", showing up at places where he played music, asking him out for drinks but when he said, "I'll bring my wife, I know she'd love to meet you..." she'd cancel. I put a rather hasty demand on the communication after a time and then found that it translated to "I don't trust you." as opposed to "I don't trust her". So, use caution, there...
Having said that, fighting over money is what most couples DO fight about. If he turns tail at the first sign of discord, then, perhaps he's not who you thought he was to begin with. Handsome or no, being true carries more weight than gold.
What was his response to your demand, and did he tell you that she approached him?
"Hey, I've got nothing to do today but smile..."
The Only Living Boy in New York, Paul Simon |
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