| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| clothedinscarlet |
Posted - Jul 06 2010 : 08:21:51 AM
Hi girls. I am just having a bad day today. Well, it all started last night, really, when on the way home from a long, hot day at the beach with lots of family (I don't do well for long periods of time around lots of people - Im a true introvert who loves being around friends and family, but needs a time to slip away by myself to "recharge") I got on facebook to check to see if my friend had her baby yet (she was scheduled for a repeat C-section). It was a surprise as they had two boys already (they are the same age as my oldest two boys) and were hoping for a girl. Well, they DID have a girl! I was so excited! But then, something came over me in a matter of minutes and before I knew it, I was a blubbery, teary mess :( It was awful. I thought I'd already dealt with the loss of the dream of having a girl, but all of a sudden the hurt hit me like a ton of bricks. I had just spent a day at the beach watching my husband have a blast with the boys while I sat on the shore enjoying the breeze off the lake. My husband pulled me into the waves once and I cringed the whole time. I grew up with an abusive step father who would drag me out into the ocean in Florida, kicking and screaming in terror. I think he liked torturing me and once I got stung by a jellyfish down my entire leg. Needless to say, I'm not a water person. I just don't enjoy it. And sitting there in the car, crying my eyes out, I came to the realization that I don't ENJOY a lot of boyish things. I try my hardest for my boys. I play with bugs and frogs and sprinklers and stuff, but I don't necessarily enjoy it myself. I enjoy watching them enjoy themselves. So, the emotions are crashing down on me like the waves in the lake that afternoon and I'm miserable realizing that the rest of my child-raising days are going to be spent doing boy stuff ALL THE TIME. All of our family vacations are going to be centered around stuff that my husband and the boys like to do and I'm just going to have to sit back and enjoy watching them have fun and enjoy their boy-ness. I realized that there will never be a vacation where the girls go get manicures while the boys go off fishing. There will never be the chance to go to fun places that only a female could enjoy. There just won't. And that really made me terribly sad last night. Then
Then, I wake up this morning and the previous night's episode all makes sense when I realize that I've gotten a visit from my "favorite" relative, Aunt Flo. :( And now I am just edgy and irritated and the sound of my kids whining, "Mom...Moooooooooom......Moooooooooooooooom" all day is just making me want to shut myself in my room and cry for the rest of the day. Why does it suck so bad to be a girl sometimes? :(
OK...I'll quit complaining. I just need a hug or two....please? Sisters?
Farmgirl Sister #1110
Siobhan - AKA Liza-Jane (my farmgirl name), wife to my best friend, Trent, and mommy to Camden (11/28/05) and Bennett (7/11/07). and Truman (7/28/09) |
| 25 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| violetrose |
Posted - Jul 15 2010 : 7:15:10 PM
Siobhan, How wonderful that you are getting to spend time with your mom without the whole family - very special!
I know you will have so much fun just enjoying each other!
Talk to you when you return all refreshed and rejuvenated!
Hugs, Ruth
Farmgirl Sister # 1738
God loves each one of us as if there were only one of us!
St. Augustine |
| maggie14 |
Posted - Jul 13 2010 : 3:19:59 PM
Well Aunt Flo flew over to my house. lol
I'm so happy for you Siobhan! I hope you have a wonderful time!
Hugs,
Channah
Farmgirl sister #1219
Just a small town country girl trying to live her dreams. :) |
| Fiddlehead Farm |
Posted - Jul 13 2010 : 2:56:13 PM
Liza-Jane, my dear friend, so glad you feel better and Aunt Flo finally left. I am also so happy for you that you get to see your Mom for a week! Have fun and we will miss you on here. My Daughter is coming up from SC for a week on the 21st of July! Yeah, I have not seen her for awhile either. Enjoy your Mom and Daughter time and take some pictures...we always love seeing your beautiful face.
Age only matters if you are wine or cheese.
http://studiodiphotosite.shutterfly.com/
farmgirl sister #922 |
| staci860 |
Posted - Jul 13 2010 : 1:46:38 PM
Good for you!  I'm so glad you'll get to have some special time with your mom. Enjoy!!
Blessings, staci FG# 973
:o )
Joshua 24:15 - ...choose this day whom you will serve,...as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.
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| clothedinscarlet |
Posted - Jul 13 2010 : 1:42:53 PM
Yes, Staci. Aunt Flo left town a few days ago. I'm sorry she went to your house :( I am feeling much better and I'm especially excited today because I fly out to VA tomorrow to visit with my mom for a week. Just me and Truman! I can't wait. I'm going to have so much fun with my mom. I haven't gotten to "hang out" with my mom since before I got married 6 years ago. We're always visiting them, but I'm with my family and they come first and there's usually not much time left for mother/daughter outings when we're in town. I'm looking forward to some mother/daughter and even some just ME time! I hope Aunt Flo doesn't stay at your place long. I feel sorry for whomever she's got next on her tour. She's especially brutal these days, it seems LOL!
Farmgirl Sister #1110
Siobhan - AKA Liza-Jane (my farmgirl name), wife to my best friend, Trent, and mommy to Camden (11/28/05) and Bennett (7/11/07). and Truman (7/28/09) |
| staci860 |
Posted - Jul 13 2010 : 1:11:36 PM
Just checking in on you again Siobhan. I hope Aunt Flo has left town ...actually, I know she did 'cause she stopped at my house today. Well sort of...I'm at the age where Aunt Flo is developing a mind of her own "Does she want to visit today?... maybe not... unhhh...maybe so." Sorry - if that's TMI. 
I just know I was on an emotional rollercoaster last night for no apparent reason. Having a good time playing "Nerts" with my family and one instant I was laughing hysterically but felt like it could turn to a sob at any minute. Weird. I do hope you've got some balance back and feel the support from your farmgirl sisters - we love you! 
Blessings, staci FG# 973
:o )
Joshua 24:15 - ...choose this day whom you will serve,...as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.
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| Cindy Lou |
Posted - Jul 11 2010 : 2:28:08 PM
Hi Siobhan,
I hope you are feeling a bit happier today. I so understand the tears of wanting. For me it was wanting a child at all. My DH and I had been married for 7 years with the idea of having kids when the time was right. At that time he was totally content with the two of us. Even after we worked out the idea of finally starting a family it took 3 years. I remember driving home from work as a teacher with other people's kids all day when tears would hit so hard I had to pull over because I couldn't see the road. I hope all works out for you.
Susan
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?"
Mary Oliver |
| kristin sherrill |
Posted - Jul 11 2010 : 06:47:46 AM
Hey Siobhan. How are you doing today? I have been thinking about you. I wish you lived closer. My 3 granddaughters would love to hang out with you. They love tea parties and girly stuff. I'd love to loan them out! That might also change your mind about girls too! They can sure be a huge handfull. They all 3 together just absolutley WEAR ME OUT! And fast. But I love them. I had 2 DD's and Heather had the 3 grands. Abby just had surgery Tuesday to correct some endometriosis. SO maybe now she can have kids. I always said she'll have all boys. I will not know what to do with boys. I'll have to get advice from you then.
I hope and pray you are having a wonderful Sunday with your family.
Hugs, Kris
Happiness is simple. |
| HealingTouch |
Posted - Jul 10 2010 : 8:14:32 PM
Siobhan,
Hugs, hugs and more hugs coming your way. Everyone needs to be able to vent sometime so thank God for this site. I also need time to myself so I get it. Men don't. I cry in the shower and did so tonite. My husband is verbally abusive and doesn't like any opinion but his own. I am so sorry I wasted my life with someone like this. My 2 GS and I do alot of things when they are here. We cook, bake, garden, shop, play cards and games, soak in my garden clawfoot tubs and more. I teach them to respect themselves and others and to know and love God. They will hopefully grow up to be able to do for themselves and treat others as they would want to be treated. You can do the same with your little guys too and you will be creating memories. Don't worry sister, God is in control! Bigger Hug!
Darlene
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| Cindy Lou |
Posted - Jul 10 2010 : 5:46:25 PM
Siobhan,
A good friend of mine used to "borrow" my daughters occasionally. She raised her husband's son and 5 more boys of her own and just needed a "girlie" fix once in a while. I will tell you that she turned out to be the best mother-in-law ever and 2 of her DIL's took her on a trip to Italy where they had a great "girlie" time.
Do you have a Big Sister program in a near-by town? There are girls out there who could really use a grown up friend to do things with, to talk to, to ask questions. Its a great voluteer program that gives as much to the Big sister as to her little friend. There are girls out there who are being raised by a dad and don't have a mom or big sister.
Susan
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?"
Mary Oliver |
| Diane B Carter |
Posted - Jul 10 2010 : 11:02:11 AM
I grew up in a great neighborhood. One family (The Carneys) had 5 boys. There relatives (The Fugles) had 5 girls. They oftened joked they would switch the kids at birth if they had another boy/girl. They never did but I bet they had days like you did. I sure hope your feeling better today. Being a women is hard..way to many hormones playing tricks on the body.((((HUG))))
Hope all your days are Sunnydays.
dianebcarterhotmailcom.blogspot.com |
| laurentany |
Posted - Jul 10 2010 : 09:46:03 AM
Siobhan-
I am reading this a little bit late- since I have had company in form out of town etc all week. Although I am Blessed to have a son and a daughter, I can understand how you are feeling, and my heart goes out to you. I have to tell you- it was humbling to read your post.. when I think of "you" I think of that beautiful picture that you posted with the Queen Bee herself- standing there holding Truman. When I saw that I thought "wow- what a beautiful lady! (and I meant YOU!) It sounds like you are a wonderful mother, and you are most certainly entitled to your feelings and to express them openly too! I hope as you read this you are feeling content with yourself and your feelings. You sound like an amazing person- heck I wish you lived closer, so we could do farmgirl things together! There are not many "farmgirl" types here on Long Island either, except for my dear friend Teresa, whom I can share things with. Please know that you are thought of and prayed for amongst your farmgirl sisters!
Smiles,
Laurie
Farmgirl Sister#1403
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.. |
| tea_lady_tammy |
Posted - Jul 08 2010 : 11:55:53 AM
Sending big hugs your way.
hugs
Tammy
Tea is like being in the stars with God.
http://breathsoffaith.blogspot.com |
| graciegreeneyes |
Posted - Jul 08 2010 : 07:59:32 AM
Hey Siobhan - thinking about you!! I always have one day each month where I am overcome with despair (literally, I'm not exaggerating) and then realize it was because the auntie was about to visit. Anyway, that aside, it may be all rocks and bugs now but as your boys grow older there will be other experiences you share with them as they develop their own interests and personalities. My son is 17 now and when he was little I just did not enjoy the blocks and trucks - but now we both love to read and love movies, and have very similar personalities so we get along really well. I read to him every night and that was something we both loved - anyway, you are such a wonderful positive person I know this will pass soon, but know that boys are really rewarding in the long run!!
Amy Grace
Farmgirl #224
"use it up, wear it out, make it do, or do without"
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| gypsy goat |
Posted - Jul 07 2010 : 1:42:41 PM
big hug from you fellow mi farmgal-i have 2 boys myself someimes it is a little sad when they go off with dad or their buddies. i don't totally understand where you are coming from though because i never wanted a daughter because of what i experienced with my mother, kinda the opposite of your situation. oh by the way my aunt is on her way to visit me so you are not alone my sister!
farmgirl#1362 whatever you are be a good one-abe lincoln |
| maggie14 |
Posted - Jul 07 2010 : 11:25:43 AM
Hi Siobhan! How are you doing today?!?
Hugs,
Channah
Farmgirl sister #1219
Just a small town country girl trying to live her dreams. :) |
| violetrose |
Posted - Jul 07 2010 : 10:51:26 AM
Siobhan, Sending you very many hugs - great big hugs too! I wish we lived closer, I'd love to do girl things with you. Praying that you will find girlfriends that are like minded in your area.
You are a wonderful Christian wife and mom, just having a "bump" in the road right now - asking God to give you peace and contentment.
On a brighter note - how is your camper coming?
LOTS of HUGS,
Ruth
Farmgirl Sister # 1738
God loves each one of us as if there were only one of us!
St. Augustine |
| Diane B Carter |
Posted - Jul 07 2010 : 06:00:23 AM
I didn't think you were selfish, I am sorry I made you think that way. I just wanted to point out all you do have. I grew up with boys only because my neighborhood had more boys than girls. I know you love your family. I hope you find a way to get what you feel you need. (((BIG-HUG))) to you.
Those foolish hormones girls get stuck with are sometimes tough to get ahold of. (((HUG)))
Hope all your days are Sunnydays.
dianebcarterhotmailcom.blogspot.com |
| kristin sherrill |
Posted - Jul 06 2010 : 4:17:13 PM
Siobhan, I am sending some big ole hugs yuour way too. I'm so sorry you're feeling down right now. I do hope and pray tomorrow will look much better for you.
Hugs, Kris
Happiness is simple. |
| Kerbear |
Posted - Jul 06 2010 : 12:31:06 PM
Ill be praying for you my dear friend.
~~Hugs~~
~Kerry Anne
Farmgirl Sister #975 |
| maggie14 |
Posted - Jul 06 2010 : 11:01:29 AM
Million hugs headed your way Siobhan!!!
I wish I had the money to come over there and we could do tons of girlie things.
Anyway, love you lots!
Hugs,
Channah
Farmgirl sister #1219
Just a small town country girl trying to live her dreams. :) |
| beekeepersgirl |
Posted - Jul 06 2010 : 10:59:20 AM
Hi Siobhan -
I know it wouldn't be the same as having a girl of your own, but have you ever considered the Big Sister program or something similar that is available in your area? You would get to spend a lot of special time with a little girl that could really use a mommy-figure in her life, and it might help fill that void for you too?
Meanwhile, here's a big hug (HUG)!
Luanne
beekeepersgirl
Pleasant words are as an honeycomb, sweet to the soul, and health to the bones.
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| Fiddlehead Farm |
Posted - Jul 06 2010 : 10:56:21 AM
My dear farmgirl friend Liza-Jane, I am so sorry you feel this way. I totally understand! I have a son and a daughter. I cherish my son, but my daughter and I have a special bond. I miss her so bad it hurts. She married and moved to SC. You are a wonderful mother, wife and friend. I so wish I lived a little closer to you. I am definately coming to Battle Creek soon. Maybe when my DH is in Alaska in August. (you like how I invite myself?) You need a big hug. I don't think it is selfish to wish you had a daughter, it does not diminish your love for your sons at all. I just understand and Aunt Flo doesn't help matters much. Big farmgirl hugs to you my friend.
Age only matters if you are wine or cheese.
http://studiodiphotosite.shutterfly.com/
farmgirl sister #922 |
| Marcy |
Posted - Jul 06 2010 : 10:50:48 AM
Sending you big (((((hugs)))) Hope you feel better soon. I have two boys myself, so I can relate. I wanted a girl so very bad. Not that I would trade my boys for anything, but everyone always told me that I got gypped. I love to sew, I love to make dolls and doll clothes and do crafts, such as knitting and crocheting and I love to cook and bake and do all kinds of girlie things. My boys are not interested in any of those things at all, not even the cooking or baking! So I know how you feel about being left out. Then again, I have two well behaved, full of engergy, funny, full of good, caring hearts, darling teenage boys, so I suppose I cannot complain too much.
Farmgirl #170
Since you get more joy out of giving joy to others, you should put a good deal of thought into the happiness that you are able to give...Eleanor Roosevelt
http://marcysworldofcreativity.blogspot.com/ |
| Ga Girl |
Posted - Jul 06 2010 : 10:34:41 AM
Big Hugs sent your way! Blessings,Karen
Create in me a pure heart,O God and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Psalms 51:10
Farmgirl sister #1156
www.KKJD1.etsy.com
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