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 I was reading old emails from my deceased brother.

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dutchy Posted - Jan 10 2010 : 11:21:54 AM
...and now I am feeling sad. It will be 3 years on the 21 of this months that he passed away. I still miss him so. Often it is just oke, but suddenly today...bang there it is: the missing and the heartaches. I so remember those last few months when he became more ill every single day. Grew so weak, couldn't talk on the phone etc. (he died from lung-cancer but he had many more illnesses)
And he always was kinda "rough" towards me, lol. That was HIS way of saying he loved me, really. He even wrote it in one of the emails I just read and THAT was a first for him. He never let on HOW much he cared and loved me, just not his style (BIG mouth but a very small heart)

I just miss him and it is gonna be a hard few weeks.
If you would, can you please say a little prayer??

Thanks gals.

Hugs from Marian/Dutchy, a farmgirl from the Netherlands :)

My personal blog:
http://just-me-a-dutch-girl.blogspot.com/

Almost daily updates on me and mine :)
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dutchy Posted - Jan 10 2010 : 11:52:06 PM
Feeling better again today. Yes I know these feelings come and go , as they do ever so often. And reading the emails just brought them back again. But as I said before I also have so many good and fun memories of him and that is something I am so grateful for too.

Hugs :)

Hugs from Marian/Dutchy, a farmgirl from the Netherlands :)

My personal blog:
http://just-me-a-dutch-girl.blogspot.com/

Almost daily updates on me and mine :)
Karrieann Posted - Jan 10 2010 : 8:31:56 PM
(((HUGS)))

Karrieann ~ Farmgirl Sister #766 (29 Sept 2009)

My etsy: Yesterday's Scraps, Tomorrow's Treasures http://www.etsy.com/shop/2TomorrowsTreasures
cheneygal Posted - Jan 10 2010 : 7:31:18 PM
Dutchy I'm so sorry you're having a tough day.....but what a special memeory you found in your email and letters today!! It's hard to get by those tough spots, but they do eventually pass. Try hard to remember those special things, etc. I'll be thinkin' about you!!! And prayers sent, also!!

live, laugh, love
dutchy Posted - Jan 10 2010 : 12:50:08 PM
AWW Thanks Diane. Yes that is the same way I feel. I just KNEW at the way he picked on me he loved me so much :)

Hugs from Marian/Dutchy, a farmgirl from the Netherlands :)

My personal blog:
http://just-me-a-dutch-girl.blogspot.com/

Almost daily updates on me and mine :)
Diane B Carter Posted - Jan 10 2010 : 12:13:41 PM
Dutchy, I'm sorry your having a blue moment but how wonderful to know how much your brother loved you. I always picked on my best friend's little girl, I always called her SonJA her name was pronounced SonYa. She would call me up and beg me to go shopping with her mom just so Sonja could go and buy new shoes, I always said you only have 2 feet why do you need more shoes?
A few days after she was killed in a car accident her mom told me that Sonja told her that she knew I loved her more than all the other kids because I picked on her more than the others. Diane(her mom) said I'm going to tell her you know the truth and Sonja said no mom don't tell her I like it this way, she makes me feel special. Now you have me crying, It's just sooo nice to know that they knew you loved them. and that they loved you to. A Big hug to you!

Hope all your days are Sunnydays.
dianebcarterhotmailcom.blogspot.com
Kayce Posted - Jan 10 2010 : 11:43:49 AM
Bunches of Hugs to ya Dutchy!!! How wonderful (though it brings back missing him) a gift, something you get to read over and over again how much he loved you.

I was cleaning out my e-mail files and stumbled accross one my ex-husband sent me 1month before he left me. Its four years old now. I dont know why but I just dont delleat it. We were married for 13 yrs. It was a total surprise to everyone when he just announced he was leaving. Then just the other day I was looking for note cards in a big wooden box and found my journal when we first started to date
Dutchy, I could only imagine how much your heart hurts for your brother.

What brightens my day is that God is here to comfort me.

Your in my prayers,

Kayce
P.S. If you ever heard the Childrens Praise song. I got the joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart....where?....down in my heart.........
I bust out in that (yes, I'm a dork) but it help make me feel better

Learning to appreciate having a glass..not half full or empty..just thankful for a glass :)

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