| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| Farmgirlheart |
Posted - Nov 13 2009 : 5:18:27 PM
Hi ladies, I haven't been on for a long while but finally felt like I really needed to come back. Life has been more than I could handle for months now and I could use a few friends. I have mentioned before that my beloved mother had already gone through breast cancer twice, this past June was the beginning of the end of her short life. I awoke very early one morning to very weird moans and pounding, my mom had had a seizure. I called 911 and after many hours in the er waiting room i got to see her. she told me the cancer had traveled to her brain. a week later or so she started radiation and she just went downhill. it was not shrinking and it had traveled to her stomach and liver. they siad she only had a short time left. she died augsut 22nd and i still cant understand it. i miss her constantly and cannot believe she is never coming back. i am broken hearted. she was the most important person in my world and she was only 62. then not even two months later i recieved a call from one of my very best friends brother informing me my friend was dying of liver and kidney failure. he died two days later. and now i am here feeling lost and abandonned and i really just want them back. the world seems a lot darker without them. Thank you for listening.
-Valerie :) |
| 18 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| tangledthreads |
Posted - Nov 25 2009 : 8:14:58 PM
Valerie, Bonnie and Lainey, my sympathies are being sent to you all in the lost of your precious parents, August the 10th, I lost my precious mama to cancer. She had just turned 60 in May, after only learning she had cancer in April (2009) and was already stage four. To say it was a totally shock, beyond devasting, crushing and heartbreaking is an understatement. She was my best friend, and I miss her beyond belief.
This evening as I was grocery shopping to fix the first family Thanksgiving without her, I kept having to compose myself, the tears were right there ready to boil over, and a few did spill over as they are right now. I kept trying to remember everything she fixed or the ingredients we used to make the different dishes. How I am going to get through tomorrow without just bawling all day I am not sure but just know I will be thinking of the three of you who are too spending the first thanksgiving without a father and mothers. (((hugs)))
*´¨)
¸.•´¸.•*´¨) ¸.•*¨)
(¸.•´ (¸.•´tangledthreads #85
You must be the change you wish to see in the world.
Mahatma Ghandi
Well behaved women rarely make history.
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| cheneygal |
Posted - Nov 24 2009 : 8:15:45 PM
Valerie, so very sorry for both of your losses.....hopefully all these gals can help you with your feelings....I too have lost a loved one, very recently. Greive well, and greive hard. Let the tears come, and flow freely, it will help you heal. Have you checked out the Holiday section?? Scroll down to "going through the holidays without loved ones"....that probably isn't exactly what it says, but something close. It helped me tremendously. I thought it helped to read others feelings, reactions, etc. Check it out, and in the meantime I too, am sending many hugs, love and prayers.
live, laugh, love |
| Lainey |
Posted - Nov 24 2009 : 06:32:19 AM
Valerie, I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my mother back in March and I'm still having a hard time trying to cope and deal with everything. Somedays I just feel totally lost, she was my best friend. She was the person I told everything to and she knew me and always knew just what to say to make me feel better. I've not been on the forum much these past months either. There's been a few other things going on in my life too that I'm trying to deal with and it's not been going so well.
Please know that you and your family will be in my prayers and if there is anything I can do please let me know. I'm sending a big hug to you.
Farmgirl Sister #25
http://countrygirldreams.blogspot.com/
An Angel says, 'Never borrow from the future. If you worry about what may happen tomorrow and it doesn't happen, you have worried in vain. Even if it does happen, you have to worry twice.' |
| ceejay48 |
Posted - Nov 18 2009 : 5:16:00 PM
Valerie . . .
We are here and we will listen and we will pray. This has been one welcoming place to share and receive encouragement!!! You can count on it as well!!
I lost my mom 15 1/2 years ago . . . I miss her something awful!!! She had been very ill with a terminal disease that took 6 years to take her. While we knew the outcome, it doesn't make any easier. My dad has been gone 12 1/2 years . . . his death was sudden but he was 81 years old.
I MISS THEM BOTH . . . STILL!!! Always will I'm sure!!
I am praying for you and your heart!!!
CJ
...from the barefoot farmgirl in SW Colorado...sister chick #665
www.fromacelticheart.blogspot.com |
| Ga Girl |
Posted - Nov 18 2009 : 10:05:29 AM
So sorry to hear of your losses, I too recently lost a loved one(my grandmother) and so I understand the pain you are going thru, I will be praying that you can feel Gods love and peace and he will comfort you in your time of need. Blessings,Karen
Create in me a pure heart,O God and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Psalms 51:10
www.KKJD1.etsy.com
http://farmgirlingastyle.blogspot.com/ |
| dutchy |
Posted - Nov 17 2009 : 11:44:36 PM
AAAWWW how very sad. Many hugs and prayers to you Valerie. And to you too Bonnie. I can relate a bit after having lost my mom first and just 4 months later my big brother. Yes life does go on, but it will never be the same again.
Hugs from Marian/Dutchy, a farmgirl from the Netherlands :)
My personal blog:
http://just-me-a-dutch-girl.blogspot.com/
Almost daily updates on me and mine :)
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| Farmgirlheart |
Posted - Nov 17 2009 : 9:06:56 PM
thank you each and everyone of you lovely ladies for your kindness, prayers and sisterhood. knowing that others are out there who can sympathize and empathize helps. days feel awkward when you think of them and feel the whole where their presence on this earth used to swell with joy at the idea of having them in your life. i miss their smells and voices so so so much. i know i will eventually adjust to the losses but man in hurts now! i have found a grieving support group that i am going to give a try, i hope to learn to deal with the weird feelings in a more constructive and healthy way. thanks again everybody!
hugs!!!
Valerie |
| Windsong |
Posted - Nov 15 2009 : 7:30:20 PM
Oh, what heartaches are on here. I would just say a prayer and not write anything but you all would never know. I have no words of advice except in this time to take very good care of yourself. You are the person that they loved and that they cared so much for. You are intrusted with your own care. Be as good to yourself as you can be.
And let us pray and give hugs.
LaVonna
Farmgirl Sister #758
www.windsongwellnessandtherapyshoppe.com
http://sadiesfarm.blogspot.com/
http://healthtalkcafe.blogspot.com/ |
| Julia |
Posted - Nov 15 2009 : 4:36:14 PM
Good Words Bonnie!
Valerie, I understand as I lost my husband of 27 1/2 years, 5 months and 10 days. It has been hard to say the least. He had skin cancer, we had time to 'prepare', yet it has been a difficult year. All I can say is grieve, and grieve well. I told Bonnie on another post, tears are good things. Others will offer their advice on how you should feel, how long you should grieve... all well meaning, but you know you better than anyone. Grief is a process, let it work. It hasn't been quite a year for me and y girls. He passed away 2 weeks before Christmas. The holiday season is already feeling cloistered to me. In someways I am not looking forward to the next 6 weeks. OUr faith in the Lord was/is strong, I could not have gotten through this time with out Him. I don't know where you stand spiritually, not wanting to get preachy... Just know that I am praying for you as you go through this time. You will get through it. Blessings.
For tomorrow and its needs I do not pray, but keep me, guide me, love me, Lord just for today.
St. Augustine
#440
http://www.myfeetaredirty.blogspot.com/ |
| Autumn Leaves |
Posted - Nov 14 2009 : 3:32:35 PM
Valerie,
Sending hugs and hopefully brighter days your way. It is very hard to lose somebody close. We had two sudden deaths as well this year. I'm so sorry for your losses, you will be in my thoughts and prayers.
Warm Wishes
Jennifer
Never let yesterday use up too much of today - Will Rogers
http://jenscountrylife.blogspot.com |
| 4HMom |
Posted - Nov 14 2009 : 2:11:08 PM
Valeria...I am so sorry for your losses. I'm sending hugs too.
And Bonnie...you've had more than your share of losses this year. Hugs to you too.
"Be the change you want to see in the world" -Gandhi |
| catscharm74 |
Posted - Nov 14 2009 : 1:01:42 PM
(((HUGS))) Valerie. : )
Heather
"Hitch your wagon to a star"
http://somewheredownintexas-heather.blogspot.com |
| Farmgirlheart |
Posted - Nov 14 2009 : 12:59:52 PM
thank you bonnie, for reaching out to me, it feels nice to remember that i am not alone. your compassion is what reminds me that there are good people out in the world...more than we realize because so many are are just too busy to slow down and take note of others. i too am sorry to hear of the people that have you lost as well. rationally i know things are not all dark and unfriendly but when you are in teh middle of darkness it's hard to see any light.
(((hugs))) to you too.
Valerie |
| Beemoosie |
Posted - Nov 14 2009 : 04:14:16 AM
Valerie, I am sitting here in tears because I just came back to the forum after an eight month hiatus. My outwardly healthy-dr going- 60 year old dad died suddenly of a heart attack in March. I, and my family felt blindsided. His younger sister passed on a month later, the following month his uncle and in August his mom, my grandma.
Do I know exactly how you feel? Of course not. But I am grieving in a way I never knew possible. I already know I will never be the same; but I know (and yes this is cliche)that dad wants me live. I have not been doing the best job of it, but I figure half the battle is acknowledging in my heart and mind that I can't give up.
I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers and if you want please feel free to email me. You are NOT alone. I know for fact that the ladies here care truly and deeply about each other. MaryJane somehow knew that no matter how cold the world seems there are still lovely people out there and it was time to use this wonderful technology to help us find each other!!
(((hugs)))
Bonnie
My soul magnifies the Lord, And my spirit rejoices in God my Savior. Luke 1:46,47
www.beequilting.blogspot.com
http://beemoosie-picture-diary.blogspot.com/ |
| tea_lady_tammy |
Posted - Nov 13 2009 : 6:33:41 PM
Valerie,
I am so sorry for your loss. I will be keeping you in my prayers and thoughts.
many hugs
Tammy
Tea is like being in the stars with God.
http://breathsoffaith.blogspot.com |
| kristin sherrill |
Posted - Nov 13 2009 : 5:55:55 PM
Valerie, please know you are not alone. No matter what it is, there are sisters here who will lift you up in prayer and friendship. I am so very sorry for the loss of you precious mother and friend. There is a big hole in your heart, I'm sure. Just come on here and talk all you want about them. I love to hear stories of wonderful people.
Lots of hugs coming your way.
Kris
Happiness is simple. |
| Farmgirlheart |
Posted - Nov 13 2009 : 5:32:45 PM
thank you Annika. |
| Annika |
Posted - Nov 13 2009 : 5:26:19 PM
I don't have any words, just a gentle farmsister hug.
Love and light
Annika
Farmgirl & sister #13
Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication. ~Leonardo DaVinci
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