| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| FebruaryViolet |
Posted - Oct 07 2009 : 08:11:33 AM
Don't want to go into just now, because I simply might lose it, but I am leaving the office to go home because of an emergency with Justin. Not trying to insight panic, just don't know exactly what I'm dealing with yet. Think of our little family. Please.
***Well...it's not great. But, we're not the only ones in this boat, I guess. Justin (and another server) lost their jobs yesterday because they were "taking the restaurant in a new direction" and wanted to start fresh with new people. The owner called him on the phone and told him while Justin was trying to feed Violet her morning bottle. He was very cavalier in his approach, and very much "Oh well, good luck to you!" and Justin is just beside himself with grief and anger and well...when he called me at work yesterday to tell me, he said he needed me to come home because he felt like he was losing his grip on any reality he might have. The baby was screaming and and he sounded like he was a centimeter tall. His voice was so small. So...defeated. Like he had just shrivelled up and died right there. So, I quickly had my mother go pick up Violet and take her for the day because I just didn't feel right about having her there with him--he sounded so changed, you see? And, I had his father call him, to make sure that he wasn't going to do anything stupid. He didn't say that he was, but he didn't at all sound like himself. And I know my husband. I know when he's very upset and this was...strange. He was disassociated. So, I went home and found him lying in a fetal position on the couch with some sleeping pills on the table. Thankfully, it was a new bottle, seal still on. So, I'm not sure what he was thinking of...rest, or the other thing. Anyway, I made him get up, wash his face, comb his hair, shave, etc..and drove him first to the unemployment office and second to the emergency services to have him evaluated. They gave him some sedatives and a referral to a psych. In the meantime, I'm just trying to keep it together and not think about what will happen to us. We were already just barely making it....And if I let myself think too much on that part, I think I might have to check myself in to the ward, too. I was pretty together until I saw Violet. And now I can't stop crying or feeling like we're just going to get swallowed. What little time I slept last night, I dreamt that I was drowning in a stormy sea.
He won't be able to make a claim until 10/20 for unemployment, but is starting to look for a job, any job, today. I'm just not sure what we will do. Please continue to think of us...thanks girls, for worrying about us. |
| 25 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| farmmom22 |
Posted - Oct 13 2009 : 12:03:37 PM
Jonni, you hang in there. Sounds like you've got your feet planted on the ground good so I know you guys will make it through this. I will definately keep the three of you in my prayers. Big farmgirl hugs, Tammy
http://afarmgirljourney.blogspot.com/
Farmgirl Sister #492
Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending. -Carl Bard |
| chaddsgirl |
Posted - Oct 13 2009 : 10:59:44 AM
Jonni - You are such a trooper and a blessing to all of the farmgirls and to your husband and daughter. The true reflection of the Proverbs 31 woman. Though I'm sure your family does the same in their own way, I would like to take this moment to "rise up and call you blessed."
Warm hugs and thoughts to your little family.
A person is a success if they get up in the morning and get to bed at night and in between does what they want to do. Bob Dylan |
| Annika |
Posted - Oct 13 2009 : 10:33:48 AM
Jonni~ You guys ARE fantastic =) I'm sending good luck and get well wishes for your family.
Simple things are good, home-made biscuits and gravy, chicken soup, bean soup like Alee says.
Thank goodness that you bought a bunch of staples! Let me know if I can be of any help.
Take care of Jus, yourself and that gorgeous little girl and hugs to all of you.
Annika
Farmgirl & sister #13
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| Alee |
Posted - Oct 13 2009 : 10:06:25 AM
Jonni- You guys are fantastic. I think you guys are doing a wonderful job! Another cost saver is buying a big bag of dried beans from Costco. We bought one almost 9 months ago and are still working through it. We really like bean soup so now that it is cold out we are making it at least once or twice a week.
Hope Jus finds a new job soon that is a bit better for him! *hugs*
Alee
Farmgirl Sister #8
www.awarmheart.com
www.farmgirlalee.blogspot.com
www.allergyjourneys.blogspot.com
Put your pin on the farmgirl map! www.farmgirlmap.blogspot.com |
| FebruaryViolet |
Posted - Oct 13 2009 : 08:48:34 AM
Thanks again for your thoughts and wishes,girls--the kind words of support we've received from your girls and our friends near and far has been beyond humbling.
Jeannie, that's what we've been doing, for sure--this isn't his fault, and I have just tried to spend as much time with him and Violet as I possibly can, taking care of them both. Unfortunately, I have added "nurse" to my title as they are both quite ill, so when it rains it pours.
I can't help but feel bad for him--men have this "work = identity" thing and he's lost his identity. He really, really loved working there, and he feels used and abused. He's very sensitive, and when he likes something, he puts his whole heart into it, and honestly, I've tried helping him with that, because often, in this world, it goes unappreciated. Like last week....
So, we are getting things done. He is looking for jobs, he is taking care of the girl, he and Violet are sick. But, we've gotten all the winter sweaters laundered (and that was a feat, lemme tell you. My thrifting habit has procured vast amounts of snuggly wonderful sweaters!); Because he was home on Saturday afternoon, he watched Violet while I managed to get the bramble jam FINALLY canned. 12 half pints of it! So, there are some Christmas gifts right there...
And little Violet just thrives, even as congested as she's been. She has no idea that her momma and daddy are worried about things. She keeps us smiling and laughing and gives us something else to think about...when my mind wanders to bills or worry, I notice her "talking" or telling her Alien and Cow stuffed animals (the "alien" was made by a friend--it was supposed to be a bear, but it looks like an alien!) her "stories"...I remember that life hands us challenges, but nothing in this world can replace that little girl.
I am trying to look at (his job loss) as an opportunity...he's still struggling with that aspect. He wants to hop into another restaurant position right away to get the money rolling, but I'd like him to be more selective because I feel like once you get sucked in to the restaurant industry, you can't get out. It's too easy, the money, but there's nothing for you when your job is over.
So, at this point, he is out there pounding the pavement, sick as he is, and I am managing things on the work and homefront. Since he's been sick, there has been a slump in the cooking, so thank goodness for copius amounts of chicken noodle soup that I froze during the winter. That will save some REAL dinners and stretch our budget even more. I can eat saltines all day if I need to (and I did a few weeks during my divorce years ago), but it has helped immensely to spend that little bit of cash I did on food the day he lost his job. Seemed like a weird thing to do, spend money, but we needed staples in the house, and it turned out to be a smart thing, afterall. I am amazed at what you can make when you have the basics!!!
Musings from our family in the Bluegrass http://sweetvioletmae.blogspot.com/ |
| chaddsgirl |
Posted - Oct 12 2009 : 08:21:05 AM
Thinking of you and Justin, Jonni. Would love to get your address.
A person is a success if they get up in the morning and get to bed at night and in between does what they want to do. Bob Dylan |
| Amie C. |
Posted - Oct 12 2009 : 05:44:02 AM
Hi, Jonni. I hope you had a good weekend and that things are looking brighter now that the first shock is over. Thinking of you guys this morning.
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| 82kygal |
Posted - Oct 12 2009 : 05:35:35 AM
Jonni, I just saw your post today. I am so sorry you have to go through this. I know it is tough. Just know you are not alone. I am thinking of you and praying for you. Email me or call me if you need to. Take care of YOU too!!
With God, all things are possible. (Mark 10:27)
What ever you are, be a good one. (Abe Lincoln) |
| Merry |
Posted - Oct 11 2009 : 5:34:51 PM
Praying for you.
Hugs,
Merry
Farmgirl #536
http://afarminmyheart.blogspot.com/
"Nobody has ever measured, not even poets how much the heart can hold."
Zelda Fitzgerald |
| knittingmom |
Posted - Oct 11 2009 : 2:32:39 PM
I'm praying for you and your family. Hang in there.
Anne-Marie
"There is no foot so small that it cannot leave an imprint on this world" |
| jpbluesky |
Posted - Oct 11 2009 : 1:48:51 PM
Jonni- those of us who have had longer marriages have been where you are. It happened to us too, and for three weeks, my hubby painted our house! It was therapy for him, got him outside and away from phones and TV and the news. WE prayed our way through it, and he got another job. That will happen for you too. But in the meantime, love each other. And make him feel great in any way you can.
Farmgirl Sister # 31
www.blueskyjeannie.blogspot.com
Psalm 51: 10-13 |
| miss wilma |
Posted - Oct 11 2009 : 08:11:17 AM
Jonnie I am so sorry little one,I have been so down around here I hadnt been on here so didnt know until this morning. It will get better, you are such a strong girl and have a good head on your shoulders.give Violet a great big hug and tell Justin we are all pulling for all of you. Will see you at Burlington Love you bunches Miss Wilma
Farm Girl #96
http://www.picturetrail.com/misswilmasplace
http://misswilma.blogspot.com/ |
| frannie |
Posted - Oct 10 2009 : 12:44:20 PM
i just had to check in and see if there was any further word on this situation.
we are praying for you here in texas and hope soon all will be well for you guys. please tell jus to just take each day at a time. when i have been through similar scary events i finally realized that the worst thing of all was the fear. so i would just do a daily (or hourly) inventory if necessary.
do i (and all my loved ones ) have my health, food, shelter, clothing, at the present time.
this is all we can really be sure of and if we have that then just enjoy for the present.
okay, i know that is always what i aspired to and sometimes i actually was able to subdue the fear.
in the meantime, we are really praying for you guys here in texas and hope soon you will have some resolution on this.
much love,jonni, jus and lil violet.
love
frannie in texas
home of "green"crafts,
where no scrap is left behind
(http://abunnystale.wordpress.com/)
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| kristin sherrill |
Posted - Oct 10 2009 : 12:02:13 PM
Jonni, I will be praying for ya'll. I know this is so scary for you. I hope Justin finds something soon. And that he's able to talk about this. Sometimes they don't want to talk. Keep him talking. You will get through this. Keep busy. Give that beautiful little girl a hug for me.
Hugs to you, Kris
Happiness is simple. |
| Miss Bee Haven |
Posted - Oct 10 2009 : 11:03:53 AM
Jonni - I'm at the animal shelter to see bird. I'm sending you an email thru the forum(can't be sure if I remember your other email addy).
Farmgirl Sister #50
"If you think you've got it nailed down, then what's all that around it?"
'Br.Dave Gardner' |
| oldfashioned girl |
Posted - Oct 09 2009 : 10:30:40 PM
Jonni, I will be praying for you and your family! (((((HUGS)))))
Monica
farmgirls rule!
www.justducky48.etsy.com
www.justducky48.blogspot.com
www.duckystreasurechest.etsy.com |
| Annika |
Posted - Oct 09 2009 : 10:33:46 AM
Jonni, I just came in on this and am so sorry that you guys have to go through all of this turmoil. Just sending big hugs to all of you and if I could, I'd bring over a big apple pie =)
Things will get better kiddo!
I hope Justin isn't beating himself up too bad over this...it's just the folly of life.
Sisterly love and blessings to your sweet family
Annika
Farmgirl & sister #13
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| FebruaryViolet |
Posted - Oct 09 2009 : 09:51:22 AM
I can't tell you all how much your posts have meant to me. I am still just trying to put one foot in front of the other and that's about all I can seem to accomplish. It's better during the day, but for some reason, at night, I get strangely quiet and so concerned. Justin is out in the pouring rain both yesterday and today, putting one foot in front of the other, too, I guess. We will get better, but it just goes to show you that loyalty means very little in the end. I am looking at this as an opportunity to make changes in our life. Not that having a little one wasn't the best change ever, but there is always room for improvement.
I plan on sort of "holing up" for the weekend, making Violet's Halloween Costume, which, thankfully, I aleady purchased material and notions for, and do some of the baking and things I've put off because of errands. No $$$ = No errands!! So, now I can catch up on some of the more domestic things around the house.
You ladies are just, simply, so wonderful.
Musings from our family in the Bluegrass http://sweetvioletmae.blogspot.com/ |
| frannie |
Posted - Oct 08 2009 : 11:53:24 PM
oh jonni, i have not been coming on the site every day so i missed this post. i came on today so i could ask you to email me your address so i can send the bunnies to you.
i am so sorry to hear about your troubles and just know that i will be thinking about you here in texas and praying for all of you.
this type of situation is so hard to understand. what could these folks be thinking? i know they dont seem to have feelings or this would never have happened. i do believe this will work out for the best, but still i never quite understand why these things happen.
please call me or email me if you need anything. and if you have the time please email me your address.
hugs being sent your way, jonni.
love
frannie in texas
home of "green"crafts,
where no scrap is left behind
(http://abunnystale.wordpress.com/)
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| bushelnpeck |
Posted - Oct 08 2009 : 7:42:28 PM
I was moved by your request and I have been thinking of you all day. May hope be your companion, and wisdom be your friend and love be your comfort until joy comes. Debbie
Farmgirl Sister #324
duty makes us do things, but love, makes us do things beautifully... |
| kmbrown |
Posted - Oct 08 2009 : 6:23:30 PM
Oh Jonni I am so sorry about all this. My prayers will be with you and your family. PLEASE keep us posted. |
| mellaisbella |
Posted - Oct 08 2009 : 4:36:27 PM
Jonni , my prayers are with you my friend...hugs from me and Oliver
"we must be the change we wish to see in the world"
farmgal #150 |
| Sitnalta |
Posted - Oct 08 2009 : 4:14:24 PM
Jonni-- I understand the scads of emotions you must be feeling. I am praying God would hold you in His arms and that He would show you the way when right now it doesn't seem like there is one.
Hugs and prayers to all of you!!
Jessie
People are like stained-glass windows.
They sparkle and shine when the sun is out,
but when the darkness sets in,
their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within.
www.messiejessie2.blogspot.com |
| prariehawk |
Posted - Oct 08 2009 : 3:51:02 PM
Praying for all of you. I hope another job comes along for Justin that's even better than the one he had. Sounds like you're doing all the right things. I don't know if you're a church-goer, but it might be helpful to seek spiritual support. hang in there...
"Dog is my co-pilot"
Visit my blog at http://www.farmerinthebelle.blogspot.com/ |
| CountryBorn |
Posted - Oct 08 2009 : 2:36:24 PM
Jonni, what a crummy thing to have happen and the way they did it too. Sometimes you wonder what has happened to compassion and being as civil and making it easier on people being let go. I am very sorry that you have to deal with this. Poor Justin was probably so shocked and stunned he really didn't have time to process it all, and got very overwhelmed. You know many other people are in the same boat, but it is still scary when it happens to your own family. You did all the right things for Justin and I know a job will come a long. I pray for all of you. Remember honey, as long as you still have each other and your darling baby you two will be fine, that is what really matters in this world, that I know for sure.Everything else will follow.
Hugs, love and prayers,
MJ
There can be no happiness if the things we believe in are different from the things we do. Freya Stark |
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