| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| Lainey |
Posted - Apr 04 2009 : 03:59:18 AM
I'm trying to stay positive here, as I know that is what my mom would have wanted me to do. But I have to say it's getting harder. I just completed a series of tests to make sure that my heart and all would be strong enough for the surgery where they take out my esophagus and with it the cancer.
The good news is that my heart is in good condition and surgery would be possible on that count. The bad news is that after taking a PET scan they noticed other areas 'lighting' up as well as the esophagus. My thyroid and liver had 'areas of interest' as well. The liver actually 'lit' up more than my esophagus on that scan. After physically examining my neck area they weren't too concerned about the thyroid as much. The main surgeon said he didn't think the cancer would have moved to the liver that quickly because the tumor or cancer cells in the esophagus were still small and in the earliest stages. He also said it could have been an artifact or just a 'glitch' in the scan. But still he had to check out the liver. He's going to schedule an ultrasound and possible liver biopsy for next week to rule out cancer. If it has spread there then surgery would be out of the question. The plan of treatment would be radiation and chemo.
I'm not sure what to make of all this. As badly as I've been dreading the surgery I think I feel worse thinking now it might not happen due to the cancer spreading to other areas. Well whatever treatment I have to do will be fine, I just wish we would get started on it already. It's kind of a scary time for me and the one person I want to talk the most to and get advice and comfort from is not here, well not here in person. Her spirit is always with me though.
I think before while she was still living even though I knew I had it I didn't think on it, as I was so focused on her and her fight. Now it's looking me straight in the face and all I want to do is.. I don't even know what I want to do. (Run, hide, escape, but I know I have to fight. I will fight!) Anyway, enough of that.
Please if you wouldn't mind remember my family and I in your prayers. Any healing thoughts and positive energies will be appreciated so much. You all, my kind farmgirl sisters, mean so much to me and were so good to me during mom's illness and passing. I hate to keep asking for prayers for myself, but I believe they help so much. I hope that I can always be there and pray for you all too. Love you all!
Farmgirl Sister #25
http://countrygirldreams.blogspot.com/
An Angel says, 'Never borrow from the future. If you worry about what may happen tomorrow and it doesn't happen, you have worried in vain. Even if it does happen, you have to worry twice.' |
| 25 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| Annika |
Posted - May 22 2009 : 07:30:11 AM
Lainey, I'm thinkin' about you sister.
Luv ya!
Waiting anxiously for more updates
Thank you so much Jessie, for letting us know *hugs*
Annika
Farmgirl & sister #13
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| dkelewae |
Posted - May 22 2009 : 07:26:34 AM
Prayers for Lainey that her surgery and recovery are a success.
Diana
Farmgirl Sister #272
St. Peters MO
Country Girl trapped in the city!
http://farmgirldreams.blogspot.com/ |
| Sitnalta |
Posted - May 22 2009 : 07:24:24 AM
Hi Girls,
I got a message from Lainey's husband that said that Lainey went into pre-op about 8:00 this morning. I haven't heard anything else yet, but am anciously waiting.
hugs
Jessie
Farmgirl Sister #235
"You are my strength when I am weak. You are the treasure that I seek. You are my all in all. Seeking You as a precious jewel; Lord, to give up I'd be a fool. You are my all in all."
Stop by my blog for a visit www.messiejessie2.blogspot.com |
| babysmama |
Posted - May 22 2009 : 07:15:10 AM
All this time I've been praying for you I didn't realize what type of cancer you had until I read this posting. You are probably in surgery right about now and I'll be praying for you all day and checking around for updates from your hubby. My dad had oral cancer close to three years ago. He went through some pretty serious surgery and a long recovery (as he needed both radiation and chemo as it had progressed to a stage 4) but so far he is cancer free now three years later!
Many prayers and blessings sent your way. I think the worst part for many paitents is having to wait for the surgery and all the unknown. By the time you are reading this you will have been past that part and can focus on your recovery and just getting better.
-Elizabeth |
| Tina Michelle |
Posted - May 21 2009 : 2:15:58 PM
hugs to you and prayers going upwards.
~I Dream of a Better World..where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned!~
blogs:http://gardengoose.blogspot.com/
and http://thevictorygardener.blogspot.com
magazine: www.stliving.net
etsy shops: http://GardenGooseGifts.etsy.com
and http://myvictorygarden.etsy.com |
| NudeFoodFarm |
Posted - May 21 2009 : 1:59:50 PM
I too will light a candle for you at sunrise and keep you and your family in my thoughts/prayers all day tomorrow. I so look forward to your next post. Make sure you let em know what your favorite flavor of ice cream is and that they have a ton on hand.
Blessings,
h
Nude Food Farm
~Grown so good,
Dressing is Optional. |
| MissDana |
Posted - May 21 2009 : 1:47:21 PM
Sending you love Laniey! I'll light a candle for you at sunrise and hold your husband in prayer as well. Nothing harder than sitting and waiting on a beloved in surgery. My poor husband knows first hand! Bless you sweet friend and try to relax tonight.
Dana
Proud Farmgirl Sister # 267
www.schultztroupe.wordpress.com
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| Lainey |
Posted - May 21 2009 : 1:35:33 PM
Again, thanks everyone for your kind words, thoughts, and prayers. The surgery scheduler called a bit ago and told me what time to be there in the morning. I'm getting nervous about it but this is the best chance for a cure. If you would remember me in your thoughts and prayers I would be so grateful. I'll get word to you by my husband on how things went or I'll be back on here as soon as I can. They have WiFi at the hospital so that's a good thing!
You all mean so much to me. I will never forget the love and support I've felt here.
(((Hugs)))
Farmgirl Sister #25
http://countrygirldreams.blogspot.com/
An Angel says, 'Never borrow from the future. If you worry about what may happen tomorrow and it doesn't happen, you have worried in vain. Even if it does happen, you have to worry twice.' |
| CherryMeDarlin |
Posted - May 06 2009 : 3:02:16 PM
Lainey, I just read through this post and am ashamed to admit that I didn't know of your cancer. I think Julia's initial post to you here was so on the mark. I watched my granddaddy battle cancer. And what I learned from it is that you have permission. Permission to feel however you feel. Permission to do what you need to do for yourself. Permission to sleep all day. Permission to cry all day. Whatever it is, you have permission for it.
I had a difficult time coming to terms with my granddaddy's illness. One thing that helped my perspective was to not ask "why" but to ask "what am I supposed to learn from this?" And when I saw all the people who reached out to him, I realized that God was using my granddaddy to promote His love and goodness in this world. And my granddaddy was a wonderful witness, never failing to praise God through everything. I hope this doesn't offend you or anyone else, but you've been given a wonderful opportunity. That's how I looked at things with my granddaddy; what a wonderful opportunity he'd been blessed with to be a witness for God's unshakable grace and mercy. It gave me peace in the midst of my grief.
With love,
~~Cherry~~
"A thing is as simple or as complicated as you make it." --TT Murphy |
| MissDana |
Posted - May 06 2009 : 1:28:00 PM
Good Lord, you darling girl!!! I am so sorry you had to have this kind of thing happen! I wish for you that THIS was the worst thing you will encounter and that from now on only grace and ease will follow you through this ordeal. I will hold that intention for you.
Proud Farmgirl Sister # 267
www.schultztroupe.wordpress.com
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| Sitnalta |
Posted - May 06 2009 : 1:13:00 PM
aww Lainey, I am so sorry that you had to go through that unnecessary and extra stress. I am happy that you stood up for yourself. It is because of the lack of communication, that so many hospitals are getting sued these days.
I will be praying for your nerves to settle and that you will be able to have clear sailing through all that you have coming up!
hugs!!!!! :D
Jessie
Farmgirl Sister #235
"You are my strength when I am weak. You are the treasure that I seek. You are my all in all. Seeking You as a precious jewel; Lord, to give up I'd be a fool. You are my all in all."
Stop by my blog for a visit www.messiejessie2.blogspot.com |
| Lainey |
Posted - May 06 2009 : 1:05:52 PM
Thanks again everyone for your well wishes and prayers! Yesterday's procedure didn't go quite as expected. I had been told and assured that I would be sedated for the procedure. (I suffer from panic attacks under extreme stress.) The nurse set up an appointment especially for this. When I got in there yesterday they told me that they didn't know that I was to be sedated and didn't have a nurse available to do it. That I would just have to have the procedure without it. The doctor talked to me in what I considered a rude manner. Now I'd been dreading this and was very nervous even knowing I would be sedated so when they said I was going to have it without I kind of lost it. I let the doctor and his assistant know that I didn't appreciate their tone to me and that I refused to have the procedure done without some kind of sedation. They told me then I would have to reschedule for a later date. I told them I had surgery coming up and this had to be done to see if they need to remove some or all of my thyroid at the same time. They didn't even know I had esophageal cancer until I told them. It was a lack of communication all the way around. By this time I was in tears.. my nerves just took over.
This is the first time I've ever had any problem at this hospital. At the cancer treatment part of the hospital they haved treated me with the kindest respect. This doctor was 'in a mood' when he came in and I sensed it. I think he thought I was being petty about everything. Maybe my nerves are starting to take over but I think the whole thing could have been handled better, by all of us.
After the waterworks started (mine) they became concerned and pulled up my files and read just why I was having the procedure. That doctor consoled me and they found a nurse who came and did the sedation. I think because I was so stressed the sedation didn't really take until after the procedure, so I remember everything. It's not really something I want to repeat anytime soon I can tell you.
Anyway.. sorry for the long post about it. I think just everything that's happened in the past few months is catching up with me. They should have the results back from the biopsy in a few days. My appointment with the surgeon has been postponed until May 14th, he's on duty with the military again. He's been to Iraq and back once already since I've been his patient this year. The nurse/scheduler said my surgery has been set up for Friday, May 22nd. It's the very first one that day. So I'm pleased to actually have a date set, but if you know me you know that I'm really nervous about it too.
Again, thanks so much for being here for me. You all are so encouraging to me.
Farmgirl Sister #25
http://countrygirldreams.blogspot.com/
An Angel says, 'Never borrow from the future. If you worry about what may happen tomorrow and it doesn't happen, you have worried in vain. Even if it does happen, you have to worry twice.' |
| crafter |
Posted - May 06 2009 : 07:22:32 AM
Lainey,
Keeping you in my prayers and close to my heart. Take good care and heal well. We are all here for you. Lean on us at all times!
xoxo-Lori
Thank GOD I'm a Country Girl! |
| Annika |
Posted - May 06 2009 : 06:30:54 AM
Lainey, Just a big farmsister hug to you. I hope things went well and that you are recovering from the procedure. Praying and sending lots of healing energy to you. Rest and take good care of your self. I know we all are waiting to hear, but you take care of you first.
May there be blessings
Annika
Farmgirl & sister #13
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| Annab |
Posted - May 06 2009 : 06:19:48 AM
So soory I didn't see your post sooner!
Best wishes for your surgery.
I'm praying hard for you too.
Very scary
You can do this! |
| Lainey |
Posted - Apr 23 2009 : 10:20:29 AM
Thanks again everyone! Your words warm my heart. I have tears in my eyes now. Big hugs to you all! Nancy, they finally scheduled my thyroid ultrasound guided biopsy for May 5th and I will have a consultation with the surgeon on May 7th. Hopefully then they will schedule me for surgery. Not that I'm looking forward to it, but I think sooner is better than this waiting.
Farmgirl Sister #25
http://countrygirldreams.blogspot.com/
An Angel says, 'Never borrow from the future. If you worry about what may happen tomorrow and it doesn't happen, you have worried in vain. Even if it does happen, you have to worry twice.' |
| Nancy Gartenman |
Posted - Apr 23 2009 : 06:28:21 AM
Lainey,
Please keep us updated as I think of you everyday.
Nancy Jo
www.Nancy-Jo.blogspot.com |
| Diane B Carter |
Posted - Apr 23 2009 : 06:11:19 AM
Lainey, I am sorry you have to go through this, Know that you are in my prayers and it would seem you are in a lot of MJFgirls prayers. I believe in the power of prayer, stay strong, and keep talking to your mom, in the car or in the shower or in bed you may not be able to see her but she is a mom and she will hold you while you are going through this. Hugs + prayers to you.
Hope all your days are Sunnydays.
dianebcarterhotmailcom.blogspot.com |
| julia hayes |
Posted - Apr 22 2009 : 1:04:36 PM
Lainey, one step at a time...you've got some mighty good news here upon which to coast. I love it!! I've been checking in every single day. I don't always have time to sit and respond. Kids have been very active, which is a super good thing. Aria is just so full of energy and sassafras!! Keeping you with me so close..sending love and light always! ~julia....please do keep us posted on how things are progressing. You are really showing us all the way! I have such heart-felt admiration for you!! truly, truly!!!
being simple to simply be
Farmgirl #30
www.julia42.etsy.com |
| Michigan Girl in TX |
Posted - Apr 18 2009 : 7:43:50 PM
Lainey~
Sending you many many thoughts, prayers and hugs!
You actually have truly inspired me, because I don't believe in the same situation I could handle it as well as you. I am afraid there would be much self pity and sitting on the couch!
I am so glad your tests are coming back with good news! We will all keep sending you that positive energy, thoughts and prayers and of course loads and loads of HUGS!
~Kristi
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| Sitnalta |
Posted - Apr 18 2009 : 1:13:39 PM
That is great news Lainey. It must be such a relief to know that there isn't anything wrong with the liver. :)
I will still be praying that everything goes smoothly with the thyroid biopsy and that your surgery can go as planned.
Glad to see you posting!
hugs
Jessie
Farmgirl Sister #235
"You are my strength when I am weak. You are the treasure that I seek. You are my all in all. Seeking You as a precious jewel; Lord, to give up I'd be a fool. You are my all in all."
Stop by my blog for a visit www.messiejessie2.blogspot.com |
| Lainey |
Posted - Apr 18 2009 : 07:40:46 AM
Thanks everyone and sorry I didn't post here earlier. The surgeon said from the first look at the CAT scan it looks like the liver is ok. They have to wait for the final results though. But he's going ahead with planning the surgery. There is one concern though, the thyroid area. There is a nodule there but he doesn't feel that anything there would be related to the esophageal cancer. They are scheduling me for an ultrasound guided biopsy to test that nodule. He says with the surgery to remove the esophagus they have to make an incision in the throat area so if something is wrong with the thyroid they can take care of it at the same time, a two-for-one deal I guess.
After they do the thyroid biopsy they will set the date for the surgery. His guess would be mid-May due to the heavy schedule they have now. Thanks again for the prayers, kind words, and good thoughts. I appreciate them and all of you.
(((Hugs)))
Farmgirl Sister #25
http://countrygirldreams.blogspot.com/
An Angel says, 'Never borrow from the future. If you worry about what may happen tomorrow and it doesn't happen, you have worried in vain. Even if it does happen, you have to worry twice.' |
| CountryBorn |
Posted - Apr 17 2009 : 3:36:33 PM
Lainey, as the other girls have,I have been thinking of you also. I hope your tests will bring good news. Please let us know how things went when you are up to it, we care so much about you.
Both you and sweet Linda are on my mind so much.
Hugs MJ
There can be no happiness if the things we believe in are different from the things we do. Freya Stark |
| julia hayes |
Posted - Apr 17 2009 : 10:25:28 AM
Lainey, I know yesterday was a big day for you. Had you held in my thoughts all day long. keeping you close and looking forward to hearing how you are. ~julia
being simple to simply be
Farmgirl #30
www.julia42.etsy.com |
| Sitnalta |
Posted - Apr 17 2009 : 09:21:09 AM
Wondering how you made out with your tests....hugs and prayers!
Jessie
Farmgirl Sister #235
"You are my strength when I am weak. You are the treasure that I seek. You are my all in all. Seeking You as a precious jewel; Lord, to give up I'd be a fool. You are my all in all."
Stop by my blog for a visit www.messiejessie2.blogspot.com |
