| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| suzyhomemaker |
Posted - Mar 15 2008 : 08:16:42 AM
Ladies, I don't know how to say this. First, I just can't thank you enough for all the love, prayers, support and tangible gifts, including the two quilts. I will use them regularly and feel completely blessed when covered in them. I wanted to write indiviual thank you's, but things have changed now. I don't have it in me, but I want each of you to know that I feel blessed to know all of you through this forum.
OK, the news was not good. I am still in shock as I feel better than I have in a year's time. It just does NOT seem possible that I got news like this.
The MRI revealed the tumor is shrunk, but it is still present. It also revealed a blood clot in my pelvis. I had several ultrasounds done on my right leg for excessive swelling, looking for the clot. It is above the leg and so it was missed. When they went back and recehecked the MRI from August, they saw the blood clot there as well. It just goes to show how things can be missed by the person reading the test. OK, so I will go on blood thinners and hope my body takes care of the clot, but it will have to wait until after my stent procedure on Tuesday.
The really bad news is the PET Scan revealed the tumor is still active, AND there is now a spot on my LIVER. This is really bad news. I know when cancer spreads to the liver, it can quickly move to lung and brain. Also, it was not there in Jan on the CT scan, but it has grown to show up in two months time.
Friday I meet with my doctor. He is presenting my case to both the NYC office and the NJ office of Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center. Hopefully, there will be some option to manage this situation and buy me more time. I hope they can do something to shrink them, and then maybe surgery to remove them. That would be the best case scenario. I am not stupid and spoke with my family doctor as well as doing research on the internet.
The news is very scary for it brings to light how short life on earth can be. If you can please add my husband, Steve, and my two children, Maddie and Jake, to your prayers, I would really appreciate it. My husband is a wreck. I worry about leaving them in the near future. I am not afraid to die, but I worry about them finding another woman to love and be there for my kids as well. The news really brings my mortality right to the foreground now.
Ok, the good news is I found a new family doctor that I like who is also considerate and compassionate. I am very grateful for this as I need someone here to manage my blood thinner medication and just to answer questions. Also, when we were in Florida (4 weeks for me and my in laws with my parents and 2 1/2 weeks as well for Steve and kids), I had the time of my life. I walked the beach every day, rode bikes a few times with my daughter, swam in pool and soaked in hot tub, ate really good food, some even I cooked. The weather was perfect, and I felt vibrant and alive and well, healing and more whole than in a long, long time. We even had a professional photographer take family shots at sunset on the beach. They are incredible pictures of a suntanned and well dressed family, smiling and happy. I ordered a large one on canvas to hang in the empty spot over my love seat in the house. I feel very grateful for this break, this normalacy.
I want you all to PLEASE take some time to really be with your family and relax and love them. Time is so short, the commodity that you can't ever get back. Don't waste it. You never know what is around the next corner. Please spend a bit of time as a family, even if it's just to walk together or garden or swim or bike or camp or cook.
I would appreciate any and all prayers and any helpful suggestions. I do consult with a biochemist so I have some special supplements. I do walk and do some mild and easy yoga. I take baths at night to help relax, and I have a mild anti-anxiety drug I can take if sleep eludes me still. I am still sewing and doing some embroidery. We are plotting the garden and a strawberry patch this year. My husband is currently boiling the maple sap for syrup. So life is still abundant and beautiful. My kids and I watch a movie together and read together and just talk. We are still planning some short camping trips that can be done spur of the moment as time and health permit. Steve wants me to do some videos for the kids, and I want them in it as well.
I plan on attacking my fabric stash and books with the vengence to cull to make it easier to deal with my stuff. If any of you are sewers, please let me know and I will be slowly mailing things off to be enjoyed by you. I want to give you back a little bit of the love you have all given me. Thanks so much and I will keep you posted. My thoughts and prayers are now centered on trying to kick this cancer and be well enough at the same time to do simple things with my family.
I have some hope again. Truly I feel good and will continue with visualizations for improving myself. I also have gone back to raw foods as they do supply lots of nutrients.
I got some information from the biochemist about the chemotherapy drug of choice. It is called Avistin. It is currently being used for colon cancer that goes to the liver and lung cancer. It has been used in a few cases for advanced cervical cancer. The drug works by cutting off circulation to the tumor. Therefore, it shrinks or stays the same. It is helpful in preventing spread of disease. The liver is so vascular that this drug is very effective against liver metastases.
Ok, so the trick is to convince my doctors that I want to try this drug NOW and not later. The other drugs traditionally used for this cervical cancer do not work. They just are not effective. So, I need some prayers that the doctors open their minds and hearts to me and really work as a team to use Avistin as part of the treatment and plan of action.
I am also going to see a massage therapist who does reiki work. I figure it will help relax me and bring me back to my center of calmness. I am good many moements of the day, but yesterday I had a panic attack, could not breathe. I was just sewing after taking a walk with my son. My daughter was on the computer and my son was quietly playing by me. My hubby was outside boiling sap. It was a perfect moment of a happy family and I guess I just panicked that it might be one of few more. This morning I feel a bit better, but it just hit like a bolt of lightening from nowhere.
Yup, still believing in miracles and seeing myself healthy. I feel so good that I just don't believe the news. I'll keep up on my end and thank you all for praying and keeping up the support on your end.
Hey, a bit of fresh air. I am having an MRI tomorrow (3/18) to really see what the liver looks like. There is a chance it is nothing!! I am betting on it, seeing it as healthy and robust. the results should be in by the time I see the doctor on Friday. Here's praying it is nothing.
Country girl in NE PA |
| 25 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| debinmtns |
Posted - Mar 29 2008 : 8:43:08 PM
Praying for you, Clare for strength and wellness. If someone knows her personally, please contact her,she may need you. Please. thanks.
debinmtns #63
http://debinmtnstradinpost.blogspot.com/
http://handcraftedncreated.blogspot.com/
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| Aunt B |
Posted - Mar 29 2008 : 4:24:01 PM
I'm praying real hard for one of God's miracles too.
Aunt B
http://www.hummingbirdsprings.blogspot.com
http://www.hummingbirdsprings.etsy.com
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| EnchantedWoodsGirl |
Posted - Mar 27 2008 : 6:55:36 PM
Thinking of you Clare and wondering how you are feeling?
Hugs
Kathy of the Enchanted Wood
Kathy of the Enchanted Wood
Farmgirl Sister #59
http://enchantedwoodmusings.blogspot.com/
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| CountryBorn |
Posted - Mar 27 2008 : 2:58:58 PM
Clare, are you ok? I have been so hoping to hear from you. I hope the test results were what we are all hoping for.My prayers and loving thoughts are with you.
Hugs Mary Jane
There can be no happiness if the things we believe in are different from the things we do. Freya Stark |
| Cheryl |
Posted - Mar 25 2008 : 07:32:15 AM
Clare, You and your family are in my prayers. I work as a Tumor registrar at a cancer center and I see around 70 patent cases per month. I have been doing this job for 5 yrs and you are doing everything right. Prayer and attitude is so important. Did the doctors tell you what stage you are at? You can tell a lot by the stage and type of cancer. I am very sorry you are going through this.
Blessings,
Cheryl
Cheryl, Farmgirl Sister #48
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Philippians 4:13 |
| Lainey |
Posted - Mar 24 2008 : 09:22:39 AM
Clare, you're still in my prayers and I'm hoping that everything goes ok with the tests on the liver.
(Hug)
Farmgirl Sister #25
http://countrygirldreams.blogspot.com/ |
| queenofdreamsz4u |
Posted - Mar 22 2008 : 2:42:40 PM
Clare,..You've been on my mind....I'm hoping "no news is good news"...prayers continue...
((((love and hugs))))
Stephanie |
| EnchantedWoodsGirl |
Posted - Mar 20 2008 : 4:13:49 PM
Clare - I pray that your MRI will reveal nothing with your liver. It might be beneficial if you work with an herbalist also - there are many herbs that are useful with certain types of cancer. In the article I had just written on Ground Ivy - not regular ivy, but rather the weed known as Creeping Charlie, I have found through research that they are researching its use in various types of cancer and even HIV. It might not hurt to do some research on your own in this arena. Herbs are wonderful and healing.
My prayers and thoughts are with you, always!
Kathy of the Enchanted Wood
Kathy of the Enchanted Wood
Farmgirl Sister #59
http://enchantedwoodmusings.blogspot.com/
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| Bee Haven Maven |
Posted - Mar 20 2008 : 11:52:15 AM
Dear Clare...you have touched the hearts and souls of so many. Please know that we return that love and care back to you through our thoughts and prayers. If anyone has the best chance of beating this...it is you, because you have so many others sending healing thoughts! There is so much good and healing energy in positive thought and prayer....and it is all heading your way dear girl!
Visit my blog at: www.sewonandsewfourth.blogspot.com
Visit our farm at: www.beehavenacres.blogspot.com
Aprons and other fun things for sale at: www.honeybeez.etsy.com |
| CountryBorn |
Posted - Mar 20 2008 : 07:31:03 AM
Sweet Clare, my prayers and healing thoughts are with you as always. I have felt strongly from the begining as I have said before that you will be fine. You have hard a rough time of it,but may God Bless you and grant you good health and many years of a long and happy and healthy life.Be strong and stay positive.
Hugs Mary Jane
There can be no happiness if the things we believe in are different from the things we do. Freya Stark |
| Phils Ann |
Posted - Mar 19 2008 : 1:47:41 PM
Clare, you're daily in my prayers. Oh, I hope your liver is fine...and that you'll know a deep, sustaining peace from the living God.
Ann
Sairy Hill Thicket
There is a Redeemer. |
| queenofdreamsz4u |
Posted - Mar 18 2008 : 10:11:12 PM
Sweet Jesus, May all of your love and power to heal and the loving energy that your children are sending to Clare.... bless Clare and cleanse her body to be whole and healthy. Amen |
| sleepless reader |
Posted - Mar 18 2008 : 9:33:51 PM
Clare,you are in my thoughts and prayers.
with love,
Sharon
Farmgirl Sister #74
Life is messy. Wear your apron! |
| Annika |
Posted - Mar 18 2008 : 7:39:11 PM
Hugs to you Clare
Annika
Farmgirl sister #13
Mud Hen Queen
http://innermountainmudhens.wordpress.com/
http://panzymoon.wordpress.com/
http://panzymoonsgarden.blogspot.com/ |
| Rebekka Mae |
Posted - Mar 18 2008 : 7:36:03 PM
I don't know you Clare but these four pages of farmgirl love are testament to your warm loving energy and you can bet we are all sending lots of it back your way daily! LoveLOveloVe, Rebekka
www.bebebella.etsy.com
As a woman I have no country. As a woman, my country is the whole world.
Virginia Woolf |
| sewgirlie |
Posted - Mar 18 2008 : 7:07:44 PM
I am praying for you and keeping you in my heart. XXOO Sheryl
My quilting and life blog!!
http://downtoearthliving.blogspot.com/ |
| Meg |
Posted - Mar 18 2008 : 11:51:11 AM
Clare, you and your family are in my thoughts...much farmgirl love ~Meg
MaryJane's daughter,
Meg
megan@maryjanesfarm.org |
| junebugs |
Posted - Mar 18 2008 : 10:55:18 AM
Hi Clare, Im praying for you and your family. Cancer is a scary thing for sure..But there is Nothing to big for our God, Just lean on Him He will carrie you through this storm.. I do understand what you are going through i had liver cancer 5 years ago... But praise God, im cancer free today!!!
Blessings and hugs
june |
| therusticcottage |
Posted - Mar 18 2008 : 09:59:05 AM
Clare - praying for your healing and the doctors will listen to your wishes! {{{Hugs}}}
Handmade Olive Oil Soap, Lotion Bars, and Prim Treasures - http://therusticcottage.etsy.com
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I'm A Rusty Chick!!!
PROUD FARMGIRL SISTER #100 |
| Annika |
Posted - Mar 18 2008 : 06:37:30 AM
Clare this morning my thoughts are with you and I am keeping my fingers crossed that your doctors listen to you and do the right thing. Be tough with them. Blessings and peace be with you
Annika |
| Hideaway Farmgirl |
Posted - Mar 18 2008 : 06:25:12 AM
Hi Clare -
Adding my thoughts and prayers and hugs for you and your family. May today's MRI bring you better news and information about the tumor. I loved what Carol Sue wrote here ... it is hard to find the right words to comfort and encourage you right now. We just want you to get through this and be able to get on with making many, many more years of memories with your family and friends.
Jo
"Wish I had time to work with herbs all day!" |
| Miss Bee Haven |
Posted - Mar 18 2008 : 05:27:21 AM
Thinking of you this morning, Clare. Sending you positive energy and visualizing a positive outcome.
Farmgirl Sister #50
"If you think you've got it nailed down, then what's all that around it?"
'Br.Dave Gardner' |
| Firemama |
Posted - Mar 17 2008 : 7:25:45 PM
You have all our energy Clare!! We're rootin for Y O U !!!!
Mama to 2
FarmGirl# 20
Rich or Poor, It Dont matter We're all the same everybodys hungry in a different way....
http://myfarmdreams.blogspot.com/
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| Tina Michelle |
Posted - Mar 17 2008 : 5:03:13 PM
praying for you.
~Seize the Day! Live, Love, Laugh~
visit me at:
http://gardengoose.blogspot.com/
and at www.stliving.net
you can also check out my etsy shops at:http://GardenGooseGifts.etsy.com |
| debinmtns |
Posted - Mar 17 2008 : 12:20:10 PM
Your in my prayers Clare. Positive thinking, and no worry as the chinese say. Absolutely no stress and eat good! Sending you positive energy. Keep busy and get lots of rest.
debinmtns #63
http://debinmtnstradinpost.blogspot.com/
http://handcraftedncreated.blogspot.com/
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