| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| Amie C. |
Posted - Feb 08 2007 : 07:23:46 AM
My mom asked me to babysit her two year old foster child this Saturday. Now, I grew up taking care of my younger brothers and sisters, but I don't have kids of my own and I haven't spent much time with kids in 15 years, so I'm a little rusty at this. I'm wondering whether I should go to her house or have her bring him over to mine. Who do you think will benefit most from the home court advantage?
Advantages to mom's house: He might sleep through much of the morning. There's a significant downside there, though, because I will have to deal with an unfamiliar wakeup routine, and the infamous overnight diaper. My husband thinks he will feel more secure in his own place, and that will make him calmer and easier to handle.
Advantages to my house: it is cleaner and less cluttered (I hate knocking things over every time I turn around), I know where my own things are and his will come with him in a neat package (so I can grab things like the diaper or the snack quickly), I can get a little bit of my own stuff done while he's here, and I think he will have fun running around my big rooms and playing with water in the kitchen sink (things he can't do at my mom's due to clutter). Plus, my sense is that he will be more inclined to do things my way if he is not in his own place. The downside of having him at my house is that he may trash the place, and he will certainly disrupt my husband's plans for the day.
I would really appreciate any advice from you moms out there who have more current experience with toddlers. Thanks!
Amie |
| 6 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| Amie C. |
Posted - Feb 10 2007 : 10:41:43 AM
Well, little Anthony got here at 8 this morning and he just left a few minutes ago. He was very well-behaved. Every time I told him it was time for a diaper, he ran to lay down on the floor and start taking off his pants! My mom was suprised when she came to pick him up, she said that the novelty must have had him on his best behavior. He loved playing with the ball I had to get for my physical therapy exercises, he watched his dvd and danced along, and he had a great time throwing water all over the kitchen while I did the dishes. I think this worked out very well, and I'm glad I decided to have him over here because all things considered I did get to spend a quiet morning at home. It was a really long morning though! Thanks for your suggestions, I was really more nervous about this than I had to be. |
| Amie C. |
Posted - Feb 08 2007 : 4:06:58 PM
He's been with my parents since he was a week old, and he's been to my house a couple of times, so I don't think that will be a big deal. I'm not sure what to expect re: separation anxiety. He's never had problems with it that i know of, but he is getting to that age like you say. I've never been alone with him, without my parents. As he gets older, he gets more scared about having to go off on visits with his birth mother, but there's good reason for that. The situation with his mom is very sad, and all the more reason why I want to be extra careful with him.
Don't think I'm expecting too much in the way of "getting things done" or "my way"! I did grow up with seven younger siblings after all! I just meant that I think I'll have a better chance of interacting with him if he's not thinking, "Well I always get THAT if I point like THIS, why isn't this lady doing it right?" If he's at my house, I would have a better chance of interpreting what he's asking for. And it would just confuse the poor kid if I spend the whole time taking some item away from him and putting it out of reach, only to find out that my mom lets him play with it all the time. He won't have so many expectations in a new environment, is my theory. It might be more like a treat than an intrusion in his routine. Like a visit to grandma's house, as Catherine said. And maybe I'll get to eat breakfast and open some mail. That would be a successful morning!
I just talked to my dad on the phone, and they are planning to bring him over Saturday morning. He has a brand new video that he loves, and they are going to send that with him. I'll let you know how it goes!
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| bramble |
Posted - Feb 08 2007 : 11:13:34 AM
Amie- I'm not sure how long this child has been placed with your Mom but if it's fairly recently you should probably stay at the house he is familiar with. This is a notorious age for separation anxiety with birth parents, so imagine how distressing new house, new people will be. As for "getting things done" and "having him do things your way" he's two! There isn't a whole lot of reason going on in that head!
If he came to visit you frequently at your house, that would be a different situation. Don't worry, just be calm and enjoy the time
you get to see things from a different point of view! Have fun!
with a happy heart |
| Amie C. |
Posted - Feb 08 2007 : 10:13:20 AM
Thanks for the input. You're right that I'm a little nervous about doing this, and I would much rather stay at home than spend the morning in a place where I'm not comfortable even when I'm not caring for a strange kid. Not that I haven't spent time around him, but I don't really know his likes/dislikes, his vocab, or his patterns of behavior. Jeez, listen to me, I sound like I'm talking about filling in for a lion tamer, not spending four hours with a cute and outgoing child.
I think part of what's got me freaked is that my husband is naturally very good with kids, and I feel like my pride is at stake here. I don't want him to have to come down from his studio and break up a tantrum.
I do have some toys for him at my place. They are things we used to play with at my grandparent's house, actually. I've got some real classics, like the red plastic box with holes for all the different shaped pieces to go through. I wish I had a sled, I could take him outside to play!
Wherever we do this, we will stay in one location. The car seat will be in my parent's car. |
| willowtreecreek |
Posted - Feb 08 2007 : 07:57:03 AM
The other downside to your house if you don't have kids would be lack of toys etc. I babysat some kids recently at my house which sounded like a great idea but I have nothing for them to do. These kids are used to playing with toys and stuff and my crayons and paper kept there attention for only about 20 minutes. I finally sent hubby to the video store to find an old disney I hoped they hadn't seen. Even still it was a REALLY long day.
Jewelry, art, baskets, etc.
www.willowartist.etsy.com
www.willowtreecreek.com |
| cmandle |
Posted - Feb 08 2007 : 07:29:19 AM
He will definitely feel more comfortable at his home, but your home would be super fun for him because it's "new." (Jackson ALWAYS loves my parents' house, un-babyproofed and all!) And remember, you won't get him to do things your way no matter where you are, since he's two! LOL
Either way is probably fine. Sounds like you may be a bit nervous about it, so maybe you need the homefield advantage more? Can you pack up and go to one or the other house if it's not working at one location?
Don't sweat it too much. Kids are a big deal and lots to handle, but they also play hard and time tends to fly by. Lots of naps and snacks too in there too!
Good luck!
Catherine
http://yogurtandgranola.blogspot.com |
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