| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| shmeg |
Posted - Jan 31 2007 : 06:17:16 AM
Alright women, you all seem like superwomen so you may not be able to relate, but lately I've been feeling so frustrated and overwhelmed. I feel like as a stay at home mom I don't do any one thing really well. Like if I spend the time I need to to keep the house from being a total mess, I feel like I've neglected the kids. When I spend time with the kids nothing else gets done. So, it seem like I don't do any of it as well as I should be. Does that make sense? And forget about any time by myself. I try to stay up at night to get things done, have time to myself etc, but I'm usually way too tired to be effective and just go to bed. My two year old (yeah that's year not months)still wakes me up about 4-5 times a night. I'm trying to get her to sleep through the night and not want to nurse but she is a stubborn, strong willed one and doesn't much lie the idea or she gets sick and I nurse her at night which seems to erse all of our progress. You all seem like such good mothers, so creative, have these hobbies where you make neat things, take care of farms/animals/children/etc....I don't know how you do it. Maybe this is just years of sleep deprivation talking, but I just feel a little overwhelmed and depressed. Share your secrets!!!
-Megan |
| 25 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| smoothiejuice |
Posted - Feb 24 2007 : 9:45:00 PM
Megan, I hear you. I don't do rigid scheduling, my husband works out of town several days a week and we have seven kids-my oldest is nine. I realized at some point that the house can wait. When it gets really bad, you clean some things and then appreciate it more when the mess is less, but still not clean. When your kids grow up they will really appreciate things you did for them. I do not have any step kids so I do not know what you deal with in that regard. Some people have better times with it than others. I think you should make a very fun wheel chart for the kids who can understand it and everyday on top of making their beds and picking up their towels and dirty laundry, they have to do a certain number of chores on the wheel. That is just the way things are, they are going to have to help. We explained this very simply for our children, you have food clothing shelter and love---you clean up in return. As for your nightime nurser, This story is too familiar for me. Make a really pretty very simple chart for nighttime and do your best to stick with it. My oldest who is now 9 was an avid nurser and just wanted it all the time. It was killing us and making me crazy. With the chart and some regiment and a lot of help in the wee hours from my husband, we fixed the problem. You must be steadfast, do not allow your child to change the rules. It took us six weeks and we never had a problem again. As a result, all the rest of my kids just follow in her footsteps and they go to bed with ease. The clock strikes 8 and they are in bed reading or being read to, by 8:30 lights are out and most are already sound asleep. Except for my 10 month old who goes to bed at 9 pm and wakes up to nurse a lot in the night after 2am, but she is in our bed and I do not really Know when she nurses and when she doesnt. She will probably find an older siblings bed much nicer to sleep in around 18 months or so. You are superwoman, look how many people depend on you for something no one else can...MOM. The kids grow up fast, make the older ones help out, and before you know it they are off to college. My house is always a mess, there are always dirty floors, laundry to be done, dishes, diapers etc, but that is okay for now. In 5 years hopefully that will be different. This is a hard time of year for this, for most people I think- because you really cannot just send the kids out to play so you can buzz around and get a bunch of stuff done. With warm weather coming your house will probably be easier. Dont worry, people who have clean houses dont have fun or atleast that is what I keep telling myself. Keep your chin up. Stop by my house any day, you will instantly feel better about your mess. |
| Love-in-a-Mist |
Posted - Feb 17 2007 : 4:55:43 PM
Megan,
I have never been structured either, but making lists has helped alot with organizing, although sometimes I forget to do it.
I know every kid is different, but I got mine to sleep through the night in their own beds by laying with them until they fell asleep. My husband and I took turns everynight at the same time. Then one night we didn't need to do it anymore. We got a lot of crap for this, but neither of the kids have had any sleeping issues and it's good quiet bonding time. If I was still nursing I would just go and comfort her when she woke up to nurse. Maybe lay with her and cuddle, but not letting her nurse. Sometimes that makes it worse though, maybe send Dad in. Those few nights of adjusting are not very fun. Also I joined a Mothers Of Preschoolers group. Everyone is in the same boat and you gets lots of encouragement and understanding. You also get a break and bonding time with adults. It's great!
Farmgirl and mother of 2
http://i163.photobucket.com/albums/t290/dollieleah/horsepic.jpg |
| _Rebecca_ |
Posted - Feb 15 2007 : 4:46:16 PM
Robin,
I appreciate your post. I have been struggling with some issues in our household lately about bedtimes and feeling like it was unrealistic to put the kids to bed so early, but you have really encouragem me to go for it and that it is a good idea.
Yup, we get flak about our NO BATTERIES in toys rule. Ha ha. We used to be no tv too. Last year we were extremely lax about that though because my dad went in a nursing home, my mom almost died and I was pregnant and huge. Anyway, thanks for your post. I am going to look into the Waldorf? philosophy. Never heard of it before.
.·:*¨¨* :·.Rebecca.·:*¨¨* :·. "Take out the weeds from some wild spot, remove each stone that shows, plant seeds of friendship good and deep, and tend the plant that grows." Mary Freeman Startzman |
| jo Thompson |
Posted - Feb 15 2007 : 12:52:33 PM
I don't think it ends with children! I'm running daffy constantly, between two labs, travel to everywhere, plus that special time of life (almost 50), I'm exhausted! jo
"life is drab without a lab"
http://homepage.mac.com/thomja/Anchorage/PhotoAlbum15.html |
| _Rebecca_ |
Posted - Feb 15 2007 : 07:29:58 AM
Megan,
Been there, done that, bought the t-shirt!
You can do this. I went through the same situation with my second child.
Do you have a bedtime routine for your daughter? Dinner, pjs & bath, lights low, read a bedtime story, maybe have some relaxing music for her. Find a leak proof sippy cup for her at night. She will transition fine, I promise. Nighttime nursings are no longer necessary. She is old enough to tap into other ways to comfort herself. You can facilitate them for her. Get her a lovey, a nice soft blanket. If she protests, just keep being positive. You can coach her through this time of transition. The most important thing is to be encouraged, because you will get through this and come out on the other side. I promise. Have you ever watched Super Nanny? She has gotten little kids to sleep all night just by being firm and consistent.
Find someone who can support you during the time. Please don't pressure yourself right now. Is there anyone who can take your daughter to their house to spend the night so that you can get rest? I did that with my 2 year old. I got a full night's sleep and then I worked on getting her weaned at night. It worked out.
As far as your home, declutter as much as possible. I have four kids and my house and if I were to give it a grade, it would be about a "C" most of the time. And that's OKAY! When my kids are older I will expect it to be a higher grade, but "C" is passing! And I'm fine with that. There are times when I kick it up a notch (parties, get-togethers,) but I know that our family does better when we are all maintaining it consistently instead of scrambling to have it spotless and then not getting anything done for the rest of the week. Yes, our home looks like 4 kids live there. I visit other families with lots of children and I see the same thing, Unless they have a maid or family who helps out.
Get with someone about once every two weeks or more that has nothing to do with your world. Someone who has grown children and can just chat with you about OTHER subjects. Also, find another person, again with older children, who can mentor you. Call that person weekly on the phone for support. Then find other friends who make you laugh, whether they have children or not.
It's going to be better.   {{{HUGS}}}
.·:*¨¨* :·.Rebecca.·:*¨¨* :·. "Take out the weeds from some wild spot, remove each stone that shows, plant seeds of friendship good and deep, and tend the plant that grows." Mary Freeman Startzman |
| shmeg |
Posted - Feb 15 2007 : 06:03:06 AM
I missed a lot of the posts somehow until today so I jsut wnated to thank you all for your kind words and advice. It is good to hear I'm not alone and soem of the advice is very helpful. Robin, you sound like you really have put a lot of energy into finding the schedule that works for your family and sticking to it. I admire that. It doesn't coem naturally to me to be structured and organized. I wasn't raised that way and I really have to struggle with it. I never had that particular skill set modeled for me as a child. But I am realizing that a schedule, a flow to the day and week, is helpful. I'm working on it and I agree with you that sleep is crucial. Well, thanks again everyone!
-Megan |
| tziporra |
Posted - Feb 06 2007 : 12:13:18 PM
2 things:
I understand that my schedule works right now, but needs constant adjustment. Before my second was born I went to the gym 6 days a week. Now I don't have time for that. When my oldest hits her school years, I might actually have to drive my car ;) etc. We follow a rigid schedule, but change it to fit our current needs.
I also want to add that my super-scheduled life has some other detrimental side effects. It drives my mother-in-law insane, for instance, and she's stopped speaking to us. She can't understand the sleep schedule or the Waldorf-type preschooling philosophies we subscribe to (especially infuriating to her is the all-natural toy guidelines we follow).
So -- it is worth it to have happy, creative, rested kids and a calm relaxed household if they lose out on their Grandma? I don't know, and it's something I'm still struggling with. I try to comfort myself with the thought that if it wasn't a nap/toy issue, it would be something else, and we just aren't going to be able to please her, but I still worry our choices made in the best interest of the family dynamic will have individual detrimental effects on the children.
Best,
Robin |
| tziporra |
Posted - Feb 06 2007 : 11:20:08 AM
Catherine -- sorry, my reply was posted before i was done writing it!!!! Please see the rest for more information. Kids go down at 6pm except on Friday nights when we have a special family dinner and the oldest gets to stay up till eight.
Best,
Robin |
| cmandle |
Posted - Feb 06 2007 : 10:55:02 AM
Robin,
I think that's the direction my family is headed too, but it's so hard to balance the need for mom & dad to sleep with the need for mom & dad to do our own things or spend time alone without the kid. What time do you go to bed? When the kids go down or later?
Catherine
http://yogurtandgranola.blogspot.com |
| tziporra |
Posted - Feb 06 2007 : 10:46:05 AM
Hi there,
There is lots of good encouragement here, so I'm going to go a different route with the practical advice. The following is what works FOR ME AND MY FAMILY. It has been arrived at through trial and error, with lots of consultation with books and tossing out any ideas I didn't like. I expect you to toss out all the ideas you don't like here, and not let them get you more down (pleasepleaseplease).
I have two little ones, 3 and 6 months, plus I watch a third guy in the afternoons, also three. I also tutor math, take in sewing alterations, run an ebay business, and play the piano. I have written one novel since my oldest was born and I'm working on another. Usually I manage all these activities without feeling too busy, using the following guidelines. And if I am feeling overwhelmed I go over the list below to make sure my ducks are all in order :)
1. Sleep. Our friends call us the "sleep nazis". Sleep is our number one priority. Everybody sleeps at our house. When I started watching the neighbor boy in the afternoons, the very first thing I did was put him on a nap schedule. Without sleep, I go crazy, the kids go crazy, and ain't nobody happy.
Babies in our house are sleep trained at 4 months. I know, this horrifies a lot of readers, but like I said, sleep is our NUMBER ONE PRIORITY. We "let cry", and it's not easy. I'm not a big meanie mom who enjoys listening to my children scream, but I want my kids to have good sleep hygiene and all the blessings that go along with a good night's sleep. Babies older than ten months do not get picked up for night-time feedings. Babies under one year take two naps - kids up to three years take an afternoon nap. My oldest still plays quietly in her room at naptime for one hour, although she has mostly lost the nap. All kids are in bed at 6pm at our house (they wake up between 6am and 7am). I recommend "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child", a fantastic and well-researched book on the benefits of a well-rested family.
2. I don't drive anywhere. "Stuck in the house!" Everyone is saying, but I've found that driving is the biggest time-sucker I've got. Not only that, but if I'm always out-and-about, I can't get all those naps in!!!! If I'm going crazy in the house I'll take the kids for a nice long walk in the afternoon (the amount of time I would have spent driving somewhere if I wanted to be crazy).
3. Housekeeping. I'm on a housekeeping schedule as follows:
Monday = Laundry
Tuesday = Cleaning (kitchen, floors, bathroom + one additional weekly "project", i.e. tidying the storeroom)
Wednesday = Ironing/Sewing
Thursday = Baking and cooking (our weekly bread allotment, plus one weekly "project" -- i.e. Granola for the month)
Friday = Sabbath Preparations - including a kitchen "mini-clean" (we're religious Jews)
Saturday = Day of rest
Sunday = List on ebay, Family time
I put grocery shopping on the schedule on whatever day is the lightest workload for the week. Usually it's late Wednesday afternoon, but sometimes it gets pushed to Thursday afternoon after naps are all done.
If it's not Monday I'm not doing laundry (on the other hand I'm doing laundry ALL DAY Monday). Period. End of story. If I notice a messy area that needs some cleaning, I put it on the schedule for Tuesday. My countertops are a little icky by Monday, but I can handle it. The only exception is sewing, which I will do a little all week because it's something I enjoy and would do all the time if I could. More schedule ideas can be found in Cheryl Mendelson's "Home Comforts", the best housekeeping book ever.
4. We have no time for TV. Poof! Out of the house. I made a bargain with my husband when he proposed that we wouldn't have one and we never have. Biggest waste of time on the planet.
5. Priorities. Some things that I don't care about are really important to other people. For instance, I can't be bothered with animals because they aren't important to me. Another person will choose to involve themselves in animal care and skip running an ebay business or tutoring (things I do make time for). Fine. Just know what your priorities are and if an opportunity comes up that requires your time, compare it to your list. Vacations? Not for us. Knitting class? Definitely.
And when I take on something new, I phase out things in accordance to the time commitment of the new stuff. Right now I'm involved in an activity that keeps me busy three nights a week. Fine. I don't have time to write or practice the piano or sew as much as I'd like. I've cut my tutoring and ebaying hours way back. The activity will be done in May and I'm willing to put things on hold until that time in order to participate now. If I find myself going crazy I'll have to reassess.
6. Time with Kids. I involve the kids in every aspect of housework. My three year old knows that today is cleaning day, and tomorrow is sewing day. She even "sews" with me. The Waldorf preschool philosophy includes making the preschool as much like home as possible, with opportunities for kids to clean, do laundry, and bake. Sounds like my house to me! My three measures ingredients and gets her own dough for baking. She gets a cloth and her own broom for cleaning. Re-read the "Little House" series for inspiration on age-appropriate activities for farm-kids to involve themselves in.
Aside from that, I remember that independent play is essential for kids. And independent activities are essential for grown-ups too. See John Rosemond's books for more information on this philosophy. While I'll provide the required tools for pretend play for the threes, I try not to interfere with the actual play. For instance, I noticed the kids were fascinated with school buses. I made them a "steering wheel" from a paper plate and showed them how to pretend the couch was the school bus. Then I walked away. They played for HOURS driving each other to and from "school".
Again, take what you can from what I've written and leave the rest here. I'm not trying to show off my fabulous life, I'm trying to put out what I do and let you choose what might work for you. For most people, my life will be too rigid and structured. I find the structure enables me to get the things done that I need to do, as well as the things I love.
Best of luck,
Robin
|
| ddmashayekhi |
Posted - Feb 05 2007 : 7:34:32 PM
"Cleaning and scrubbing can wait till tomorrow, babies grow up we've learned to our sorrow, so settle down cobwebs and dust go to sleep, I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep".
This was the little rhyme on a picture I had embroidered for my oldest son (now 24 years old). It was a great reminder to me on how to keep my priorities straight. Relax, enjoy the kids and you'll take a lot of stress out of your life.
Dawn in IL |
| abbasgurl |
Posted - Feb 04 2007 : 6:58:06 PM
Oh Megan DARLIN', God bless you! You have a 2 year old...nuff said!
Everyone feels the way you do at times, and if they don't, they're lying! I remember crying a lot when mine were that age, if that helps!  Remember, quite a few of us are older, our kids are grown, and I'll just bet some of us (who shall remain nameless) can't see their counters either! And I agree with Ricki-you sure sound like superwoman to me!
In all seriousness, don't be so hard on yourself. My motto has always been "do the next thing"...only worry about this day's troubles, otherwise it's just too easy to get overwhelmed. One foot in front of the other and you'll get there.
Blessings,
Rhonda
I'm a one girl revolution. |
| garliclady |
Posted - Feb 02 2007 : 10:03:57 AM
Megan
You sound like you are at my house! Same feeling. My 2 year old still wakes me up and wants a bottle of milk(never breast feed because our kids were adopted) My son who just turn five knows how to push all my buttons but so he won't get in trouble he gets his sister to do things for him! I stay up at night to get things done , last night I was cleaning up purple paint left over from yesterday when the 5 year old help the 2 year old paint herself. We also have a small farm and I have to do all that stuff because my husband works a regular job during the week.
Natalie
My Farm http://home.bellsouth.net/p/s/community.dll?ep=16&ext=1&groupid=140532&ck=
My Recipes http://recipecircus.com/recipes/garliclady/]
My blog http://www.epicourier.com/Garliclady/ |
| cmandle |
Posted - Feb 01 2007 : 10:17:56 AM
Hi Megan!
Just chiming in here too. I fully agree with what everyone has said about "don't sweat the small stuff" but needed to hear it myself too! I only have one little babe running around here all day but he tires me out enough. And then there's all of that housework... We're totally in the same boat. As Katiedid has said many, many times...if we were in the same town, we'd be having coffee and helping each other with the kids! Wanna come over later today for a break? :)
Glad today is better! (For us too, we must be on the same roller coaster cycle this week!)
Catherine :)
http://yogurtandgranola.blogspot.com |
| shmeg |
Posted - Feb 01 2007 : 09:56:07 AM
Just wanted to thank you all for your suggestions and encouragement. Sometimes it just helps to know that other women feel that way too. It can be isolating being a stay at home mom if you let it. Juniper (my youngest) does sleep with us and I've read No Cry Sleep Solution which helped quite a bit. She used to wake up much more. Last night was a good night and today I seem to be finding that balance and not striving for more than clean dishes and some laundry being done. So, thanks again for the kind words!
-Megan |
| daffodil dreamer |
Posted - Jan 31 2007 : 5:22:21 PM
Hi Megan,
Hope you are having a good day today. We ALL feel like you do, sometimes or a lot of the time. I agree with everyone who has said that spotless is overrated. As long as the 'dirty' stuff is done (ie. the house isn't unhygienic), the rest just shows you and your family actually live in your house and enjoy it. I know mess can be distracting, and speaking from experience, I used to stress about it - what someone would think if they dropped in and the house wasn't completely clean. But looking back, I should have just spent the time with my kids making mess and not worrying as much about it. My two year old is getting the benefit of this now.
So don't worry - I can look around my house now and see toys and books on the floor, a corner table that is NEVER clear of projects, mail all over the kitchen bench and the list goes on! But the main things are done, like dishes washed, etc.
I don't know what to say about your two year old - mine all love sleep. They get that from their dad, I think, he can fall asleep anywhere, any time, including in the middle of a conversation!
I really hope things are looking up for you - just be happy with who you are and where you are at (listen to me, it has taken me until I am 36 to follow that advice!!)
Best wishes,
Jayne |
| Persephone |
Posted - Jan 31 2007 : 10:24:12 AM
Oh, I had one more idea: when dd is older and no longer taking naps, I plan on instituting a daily "quiet time" of about an hour- you don't have to sleep, but you have to do a quiet, calm activity- I think it will help everyone, even the kids, feel rejuvenated. |
| Persephone |
Posted - Jan 31 2007 : 10:21:54 AM
Can you take your two year old to bed with you in the night? Maybe start out in his/her own bed, and then when he wakes to nurse, just come to bed with you? I'm sleeping with my one year old, and even though she wakes a LOT at night, I find I'm getting more sleep than I would otherwise. (Um, still not enough, but more. :)) Also, Dr Jay Gordon has a page on his site about how to help older kids sleep through the night- I can't link to it, but if you google it, I'm sure you can find it.
As for the house vs kids thing, I think it's really a matter of finding a balance. In my house, there are certain things that have to get done each day- dishes, diapers, cooking food. The rest is negotiable- I take my philosophies of parenting from many different sources, and combine them in a way that works for me- from the Continuum Concept (google anything you've never heard of, I can't post links atm- if you can't find something, I can find it for you later :)) I take the idea of being family centered, rather than child centered- if your world revolves around your child, instead of the family as a whole, your child will begin to act like the world revolves around them. They become demanding and cranky- so, while it's important not to neglect your child, it's also important not to swing the other way and focus ONLY on them. I've also read something recently, about how parent frequently get frustrated if they have to stop in the middle of what they're doing and attend to their kids- I know I do- if I'm say, doing the dishes, I have to finish the one I'm on, rinse and dry my hands, and attend- and then do it again seconds later- everything takes longer, and my rhythm is interrupted- but- that's ok. Go about your daily business, and instead of getting frustrated at your kids for interrupting, just stop and attend. Then go back to what you were doing. It sounds so simple and obvious, but it's really helped me to remember to do this- I'm not bad for not liking to be interrupted, and my child is not bad for needing me- it just is- that's life. And when I'm done with my chores, I play with her- we play with toys, tickle, read books, or whatever. She's not being neglected, and things are still getting done- the other trick is to always be picking up- when you walk through a room to another room, and you see something that belongs in the room you're going to, take it with you. Clean as you go. If things never get too messy, it won't be too hard to put them to right. But at the same time, don't get obsessive about it- I'm learning to let go, and let my house BE messy at times, because I know that whatever is happening is good and right, and can always be cleaned up later. I never (well, not NEVER, but rarely) go to bed with a messy house. I wouldn't be able to sleep! So I make sure the living room is picked up and the dishes are in the dishwasher before I go to sleep- I'm lucky in that I don't have to put the baby to bed, I do this while daddy is putting her to sleep. See what I'm saying though? It's a balance. Sometimes you let it go, and sometimes you pick it up. Relax your standards- never expect a spotless house. Comfort is not a museum, you know? And the other thing is- take time each day for time for yourself- like the others were saying, if you're empty, you can't give anything to your family. My "me" time is dd's naptime- if I can put her down, I do a quick, and I mean QUICK pickup (cause I don't want to spend her whole nap cleaning)- 5 mins tops, and then get down to reading that book I'm dying to finish, or doing just a bit more on that craft I'm dying to complete- or if I can't put her down, I read uplifting blogs on the internet and spend time here. :) And at night, I take my shower alone and dh spends time with dd. Having that time really helps me not go insane. And it honestly doesn't need to be very MUCH time- just a bit of TOTAL alone time is enough to rejuvenate me.
so, in case you didn't manage to read that whole book:
*balance and prioritize- what has to get done, what can you let go?
*practice benign neglect
*let go of thinking in absolutes- neither you nor your child is wrong for wanting things to get done, or for wanting your attention
* do little pickups constantly
* don't go to bed with a mess
* take some time daily for yourself.
It's taken me a year to get all of that down, and I am NOT superwoman, I still lose my mind- that's my ideal- to aspire to. And I generally reach it throughout the day. It's really helped to just relax about everything. |
| katiedid |
Posted - Jan 31 2007 : 07:57:15 AM
Megan...give yourself a break! I used to live next door to a gal who's house was spotless..all the time!! It gave me such a heart attack to think she was going to come over and see my messy house..and secretly, I wanted to be like her...have a house that was all decorated and perfect...Well, then I got to know her and her kids, she had two boys who were so brow-beat about making a mess that they would beg and cry to come to my house!!
Kids grow up so fast...just make sure all the gross stuff like dishes, trash, and smelly laundry are done...the rest can wait!
As for the sleeping issue, I highly recommend a book called...The No Cry Sleep Solution...I can't remember who wrote it, but check on Amazon.com. It is a great one.
Take care of yourself, get some down time.
Kate
my new blog http/www.theknifemakerswife.wordpress.com |
| Aunt Jenny |
Posted - Jan 31 2007 : 07:34:11 AM
Oh Megan..I think we have all been where you are. My kids are all 9 and over so my years with toddlers are over. (I think..heehee) I agree with what has been said above...don't sweat the small stuff. My house is NEVER perfectly clean..probably won't be for a few years yet. I try, but don't succeed in having every room clean at the same time. Just do the best you can. I have found that having your kids work with you (sometimes not as productive for sure but you get time with them and a little gets done) helps. I do have my kids have special chores for a week at a time on a rotating basis and so they have chores, but it isn't something I have to think about ..just "do your chore please". In summer we work together in the garden and doing other other chores when they are home all day.
My oldest son woke up every night until he was 3 (he is 29 now) and it drove me to distraction!! I think some of them just have that personality!! Even now he (like me) dosn't sleep well. I feel lucky that all four kids still at home are good sleepers.
When the kids are grown (I have three grown boys) they won't remember if the house was perfectly clean but they WILL remember if you were happy and did things with them so don't worry about being perfect. I think perfect is over rated anyhow.
As far as time for yourself..you NEED your sleep. I get my alone time late at night..but my kids are older now and I just don't sleep well anyway. You really need to have a short time alone to look forward to every day or so. Even an hour makes such a difference in attitude. I agree with Ricki..if anyone offers to help or wants to trade babysitting and it is someone you trust (so you can be at ease) take them up on it for sure..you deserve it!!!!
It does get easier!! Well, it does get different!!
Jenny in Utah
Inside me there is a skinny woman crying to get out...but I can usually shut her up with cookies
http://www.auntjennysworld.blogspot.com/ visit my little online shop at www.auntjenny.etsy.com |
| simpler1773 |
Posted - Jan 31 2007 : 07:05:29 AM
Megan~ you sound like super woman to me! See my tag line? That's my new motto this year. My daughter just turned two and still wakes up in the night (although it's getting better). I also have a 14 yr old. I can't imagine adding nursing and all the other children into the mix! You deserve to feel wiped out! But remember guilt is a useless emotion, remind yourself of that every now and then. If you have ANY offers for help (husband, mother, in-law's, etc.) take it! I was so stubborn for so long, thinking I was the only one who could handle it. This year I've let go a little and allowed others to share the joy (heh), and it's been great!
(((hugs))) hang in there, you're right...this too shall pass.
~Ricki~
You can't pour anything out of an empty vessel, take care of yourself! |
| MustangSuzie |
Posted - Jan 31 2007 : 07:01:19 AM
Also, delegate and have the children pick up. They are plenty old enough to help out. |
| shmeg |
Posted - Jan 31 2007 : 06:58:27 AM
Thanks Kathy and Sarah,
Yeah, I try to remember that and live that way. I'm probably a little too hard on myself. I also have an almost 4 year old son, 8 year old daughter, two stepdaughters, 11 and 12, and I'm a nanny for a 20 month old. I'm not going for perfection but it would be nice to be able to see the floor and countertops sometimes. I jdut feel guilty if I let them watch TV for an hour so I can get something done, for example. What is the La Leche League motto?...this too shall pass. Which I suppose is both a good and a bad thing!
-Megan |
| knewslady |
Posted - Jan 31 2007 : 06:33:13 AM
Megan
You are experiencing the feelings a lot of mothers feel. I was 33 before I had my first child and then 16 months later I gave birth to twin boys. There were days I literally felt like someone had put me in a cage and threw away the key. It didn't mean I didn't love my kids I was just so overwhelm with doing the things that needed to be done to get through the day.
If I could give you one piece of advice now as I look back, don't worry about all the little things. Just enjoy that precious child, every smile, every tear, every cute thing she does.
I thought I had to accomplish all of these things every day, and in the end I just wore myself out. I would love to go back now and just sit in the floor with my kids once again, read to them, color with them and let the world pass us by.
There will be plenty of time to clean your house spotless, esp. when she is a teenager driving and you are up until time for her to get home and worried sick the whole time. Believe me when I tell you that these days with your little one are short and precious. You will turn around one day and she will be starting the first grade and then on, it's just a roller coaster.
I know you are tired, and you do need time to yourself, and there is nothing wrong with seeking that because it does make your days a little easier.
If there was one point I was trying to make in all of this rambling it is "don't sweat the small stuff," raising your daughter is a one shot deal, make the most of it.
Kathy
Will always be a farmgirl at heart |
| MustangSuzie |
Posted - Jan 31 2007 : 06:30:25 AM
MY ob/gyn has a lil cross stitched picture in one of the exam rooms that says something to the effect of cleaning and cobwebs can wait but your children will grow up quickly and be gone soon. So I think about that when my house isn't perfect or i have a mountain of laundry.
Sarah |
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