| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| hawkin_farmgirl |
Posted - Nov 20 2012 : 07:58:11 AM
So I'm a first time mom and I feel absolutely clueless about this stuff. Give me a dog with behavior issues and I'll fix it quick, but give me a spirited, high maintenance 14, almost 15 month old and I have so clue what to do.
Lucas will be 15 months on November 30th. He's a smart little monster and knows exactly what to do to get a reaction out of Mommy and Daddy. He likes to use his hands (stack things, puzzles, crafts) and isn't big on mimicking us. He doesn't point to things, but he'll run to the kitchen when he's hungry or bring me his cup when it's empty. He babbles constantly and kinda stopped saying Mama and Dada. So I tell you all this so you can see where he is.
So my question is, how do I handle disciple at this age? He'll go bang on the dog crates or throw something a million times, just so you'll get up and come get him. We redirect or ignore, depending on the situation, but because we live in an apartment, we can't ignore some things. So do we just stay consistent with the redirection and ignoring?
And another question... I'm really worried about his 15 month appointment, which is on December 7th. I'm afraid his doctor is going to tell me he's behind. Like I said, he doesn't point or really say anything. He definitely understands and can follow some basic commands. He likes to hang back and figure stuff out on his own. My husband is on the very low end of the Asperger's spectrum, so that's always in the back of my mind. He's very spirited and high needs. He does do/has some things that are on the Sensory Processing Disorder list.
Haha, I'm rambling now. I'm trying to plan a fundraiser and go to school, while being a stay at home mom, so I'm a bit stressed. I really like his doctor and this practice, but this particular doctor is wants me to quit nursing and co-sleeping, which I won't do till he's ready and I'm just tired of having that conversation.
And now I feel better getting that off my chest. So thanks for reading ladies! :)
*Micah*
Farmgirl Sister #1478
http://pinterest.com/miss_micahp/
http://misadventuresofamicah.tumblr.com/ |
| 10 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| hawkin_farmgirl |
Posted - Jul 28 2013 : 07:26:14 AM
Well, I've been busy with school and volunteering, and of course parenting, so I'd thought I'd update this. He's now 23 months and he's changed so much!
Lanna, I did buy that book and it has helped a lot! We've also found that a "time out" helps when he gets over-stimulated. Meaning we move to the rocking chair and sit still for a minute and be calm. He really enjoys listening for birds, dogs barking outside, etc., so we spend a minute in the rocking chair and we calm down. Then I try to move him to a quieter activity, like coloring or reading.
We've also found that he cannot have anything remotely sweet after 6:00 PM. That includes things like ketchup, sugary BBQ sauce, and no fruit desserts. He's like his momma and has crazy fruit cravings in the evenings, so he and his daddy have a fruit snack before dinner and that seems to take care of it.
He also started to speak at about 20 months and now we can't get him to stop! I've learned to let go in trying to teach him things and just let him observe. He's fiercely independent and hates for me to try and help him. So I'll do something and let him watch and then he figures it out on his own. He can now count to 5 and kinda sing his ABC's. I've also found that we have to do some sort of outside the house activity every day. So we go to story times, music class, playgrounds, etc., for at least 2 hours every day. And on days that I need to do school or something with the non-profit I work at, he goes to daycare. We found an amazing drop off daycare that has a curriculum and he loves it! Every time he goes they do at least 2 crafts, some sort of music or learning activity, and they get to play outside. So on days mommy doesn't get to play a lot, he goes to daycare to get his energy out!
We have also switched doctors. I love this new one. He is incredibly laid back and very go with the flow. And we're also still nursing. :)
You ladies have been awesome with your advice and I really do appreciate it. We were totally not prepared for the toddler stage at all, particularly with one so head strong!
*Micah*
Farmgirl Sister #1478
http://pinterest.com/miss_micahp/
http://misadventuresofamicah.tumblr.com/ |
| msdoolittle |
Posted - Apr 29 2013 : 10:48:45 AM
I'll just add that my oldest, who was 2 months premature, did not speak much until she was about 2. Turns out she was just listening to us the entire time and apparently was just taking mental notes, lol. She is now almost 10 and she is exceptionally intelligent. Kids are all different! BTW, I have noticed with my own friends who have boys that they tend to take longer than girls to speak/speak well. Take a sigh of relief, and I think you will be just fine.
At that early of an age, I think all you can do is re-direct, as you have done. I always talked to my girls like I would an adult. So, if they were banging on the dog crate, I would take their hand and tell them something like: "When you hit Fran's cage, it makes her scared. We don't scare animals." and then go and give them something else to do. If they repeat the action, you tell them again: "We do NOT scare animals." I use a 'wide-eyed' look that I still use to this day, lol! Also, I think that many people do that silly 'baby talk' to kids as if they cannot understand it, and it puts kids behind, verbally-speaking. Children are very intelligent and they are learning every second of the day. Just my 2 cents.
FarmGirl #1390
www.mylittlecountry.wordpress.com |
| MagnoliaWhisper |
Posted - Apr 28 2013 : 10:54:50 PM
I just read about your dr and the nursing...um that has nothing to do with his job! He's a dr...when to stop nursing is NOT his choice! He is to diagnose illnesses, not give parenting advice!
Not only that even on a medical level he's soooooooo wrong. WHO (world health organization) recommends till at least two! For children's medical needs (nutrition) alone...let alone their psychological, and emotional needs for it.
http://www.heathersprairie.blogspot.com |
| birdie71 |
Posted - Apr 28 2013 : 1:45:45 PM
I am a veteran teacher and the number one thing that kids count on whether at home or at school and at any age is consistency!
Robin
Farmgirl Sister #1301
Desert rat with a Rocky Mountain high farming in the Sonoran desert!
my mama's (ceejay48) craftiness ~ www.cjscreations-ceejay.blogspot.com
my daddy's craftiness ~ www.aspenforge.com |
| Lanna |
Posted - Mar 30 2013 : 01:32:01 AM
Okay, I have lots of random thoughts and ideas, forgive me for jumping around.
First, have you gotten yourself a copy of Raising Your Spirited Child by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka? If not, go to Amazon.com right now. We'll wait. Trust. me. You won't regret that $11.
Second, it takes kids time to figure out new things. They may regress a little while working on a new skill since their brains can only handle so much at any given time. So, you said he stopped saying mama and dada - have his motor skills exploded in the meantime?
Third, discipline is a tricky thing. Depends on how you want to go about it. I know some folks who occasionally spank, others who think that's child abuse (I'm somewhere in the middle, to be honest). But at that young age... at least with active boys, it's practically all you can do to keep slogging along. It takes time for them to understand things like that.
The banging on dog crates and things like that - is he just acting out to get attention? You mentioned you were busy with fundraising and going to school... Do you have a chance to just sit down and cuddle more or read or whatever? Definitely keep redirecting. Hubby and I joke that we keep trying to harness our children's energy for good and not evil. ;) We're only half joking sometimes it seems - they're wickedly smart sometimes. If your current redirection techniques aren't working, find some different ones.
Another thing we've done when our kids start acting out more is giving them more responsibility. At 2yo my kids know where the sippies are (I have the plastic/kid plates/sippies/cups in a cabinet down at kid level) and can get themselves some water, or if they make a mess they know where the towels are and that mommy expects them to clean it up. We recently redid our chore system (sort of) for our older kids, and my 3yo was beyond thrilled that I made up his all ready to go. Granted, he's a ways away from scrubbing down the bathroom, but he can learn how to scrub the toilet or tub with supervision. I've had them all helping to mop the floor (with damp washcloths, I'm rather simple/cheap around here) by 1-2yo. They love being involved and feeling important, no matter the age.
Pediatrician. Go get a new one. Unless your mommy gut instinct is freaking out about your child, you shouldn't have trepidation about the pediatrician (what happens when there's an emergency, can you trust them?). Nursing and co-sleeping are one of those stupid hot-button issues that really shouldn't be. Sigh. If it's working for your family, whatever, it's fine. That said, I know some folks fudge on those particular answers to doctors' questions. I'm not particularly recommending that, but if you *really* like the office *that* much and don't want to get fired from the practice (yes, I've had friends fired from a doc before due to differing vaccination opinions)...
Being behind. You know that magical Bell curve they use on things, especially charting all those childhood developments? Well, sometimes folks have to be on the tail end of that curve. There's no shame or harm in that, not everybody can be in the 99th percentile for everything. You're making the world go round so that Bell curve keeps doing it's thing. Hell, I'm not a mathematician, but I am a heckuva jill-of-all-trades.
As for anecdotal evidence... My 9yo didn't really start sorta talking until 18-24 months old. Even then, he was a little stingy with it. Now? I swear, it's like verbal diarrhea (he talks before thinking, and just talks to hear his voice, saying the same thing over and over, despite when hubby and I are actively listening to him). So be careful what you wish for. ;) My 6.5yo, well, his big brother did all the talking for him. He had maybe a dozen or so words until about 3yo. Seriously. Hubby was freaking out that he was autistic. No, he's just got his own development timeline. After 3yo, his language started exploding. He's just our more deliberate child - he looks at something for a minute before just jumping into something. He's now just fine, fits in quite well with his fellow first graders at our homeschool co-op. My 4.5yo and 3yo are my little freaks of our family - they were early talkers, to a crazy degree. My youngest turned 3yo in February (he didn't wean until 35mo, too), but he's practically been talking in sentences since 2yo. He was great with mimicking words, knew several baby signs that I was consistent with, has a good ear for music, and yeah. I'm still floored by what comes out of his mouth sometimes since it's so different from how my older boys were - he freakin' lectures us on stuff already. It's almost a little frightening. So, all that to say, every child is different. Even in the same family. :D
Another thing. Diet. How's your family's diet and nutrition? In my experience, I've seen spirited children be more affected by things like preservatives and artificial dyes and refined flour/sugar, sometimes even dairy. Might be something worth looking at. My kids *need* some sort of animal protein each day (meat, dairy, eggs, whatever), you can definitely tell the days we're skimpy with those. We also use lots of good fats in our cooking (butter/ghee, raw milk, olive oil, coconut oil, lard, tallow) since the brain is mostly comprised of fats. We also added fermented cod liver oil to our diets in the last year or so. We've had good results from it. I have friends that have gone on GAPS and seen dramatic changes as well.
Nursing. Keep doing it. You're doing great, mama. Don't let anyone bully you into stopping without a good reason (major medical issues or something, not just 'he's got teeth!').
*****************
Lanna, homeschooling mama to four little monkeys that still try to jump on the bed |
| countrymommy85 |
Posted - Dec 20 2012 : 12:48:49 PM
We kind of went through something like that with potty training with our 3 year old. We read the Love & Logic books and also two books by Dr. Kevin Leman called "Have a New Kid by Friday" and "Making Children Mind without Losing Yours". We liked them all and I know there are many other good books out there too. Just find something that works for you, your husband and your kiddo :) Plus it wouldn't hurt finding a doctor that you won't dread going to and that will encourage you about child growth. Everyone is different and I avoid pedi's and Dr's that want to put me or my kids on a chart. I had a hard time comparing my kids with other peoples kids like if someone else's kid walked a lot sooner or potty trained sooner, etc., etc., etc.. Then I just realized I needed new people to hang out with that embrace their kids instead of force them to perform (if that makes any sense). You are doing a great job as a mom so just keep on keepin on :)
Mothers are those wonderful people who can get up in the morning before the smell of coffee. ~Author Unknown
http://countryrenaissance.blogspot.com
http://www.etsy.com/shop/SunflowersAndHoney |
| Montrose Girl |
Posted - Dec 06 2012 : 07:52:36 AM
Micah,
I totally understand. My 14 month old is the same, not walking, no pointing, no words, though very verbal with sounds. And of course loves to pull on the floor lamp just to get our attention. I have the same concerns about his placement and get great big **hugs** from family with the same advice as the ladies above. Every kid is different.
At the eye doctor he was telling me about his three kids that walked at 9 months, 1 year and 15 months. What a range! The funny thing is when he is a teenager none of this will be a concern as he asks for the car keys!! oh boy.
hugs
Laurie
http://www.inntheorchardbnb.com/ |
| hawkin_farmgirl |
Posted - Nov 23 2012 : 12:04:06 PM
Thank you ladies!
Sometimes these play groups we go to are bad for me because I end up comparing him to other kids, which I know I shouldn't do! We'll continue with our redirection with a "No". Thanks for the help!
*Micah*
Farmgirl Sister #1478
http://pinterest.com/miss_micahp/
http://misadventuresofamicah.tumblr.com/ |
| sjmjgirl |
Posted - Nov 21 2012 : 4:15:58 PM
Micah, my son is on the autism/aspergers spectrum. With what you have mentioned about his behavior, it could go either way. It may just be too soon to tell, but if you're concerned, go ahead and ask his doc or contact your local AEA for a referral. It couldnt hurt. You can go the Autism Speaks website ( the link is below). They have some great info there. With discipline, I found that redirection, along with a stern "No" or "Stop" worked wonders. Be sure to look right at him with a stern face and he'll see that you mean business. Remember that consistency is key. You must follow through every time or it wont mean anything. Good luck!
Farmgirl Sister # 3810
Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.
- Dalai Lama
April is Autism Awareness month. Autism affects 1 in 88 children (1 in 54 boys, including my son). Go to http://www.autismspeaks.org/ to learn more and help Light It Up Blue on April 2nd!
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| SandraM |
Posted - Nov 20 2012 : 08:16:24 AM
If you don't like your doctor I would get one that you do. Its not worth seeing the same doctor if he makes you feel uncomfortable about your Parental choices. None of his business ;)
At that age positive reinforcement and redirecting are good discipline tools.
As far as being behind...It is hard to say at that young age. Children are all so different. I have a tendency to not over worry. Follow your parental instincts.
I have six girls and they all have developed at different ages. No two have been exactly the same.
Sandra
www.mittenstatesheepandwool.com |
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