| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| countrymommy85 |
Posted - May 10 2012 : 06:44:26 AM
I have a 6 month old baby girl who is exclusively nursed. She is my third but first baby to nurse this long. The other two I was only able to nursed up to 3 months (due to lack of knowledge on my part, bad advice and lack of encouragement). This time I did my homework and nursing has been going well!
Except...
She won't sleep through the night. Never has. My other two were sleeping through the night by 2-3 months (before I even stopped nursing them!) In fact, she gets up 3-4 times but only once or twice wants to nurse.
She refuses to sleep anywhere except with me. I made sure she wasn't cold, etc. She just wants ME. She won't even sleep in her bassinet next to the bed where she can look up and see me. Being in sight but not touching or holding her makes her even more upset.
Babysitting is awful for the sitter because bottles don't pacify her. She just wants ME and will scream, not cry, until finally she can't stay awake any longer which could mean an hour or two (no exaggeration) Being in the swing does not help either.
My baby carrier has gotten tons of use, otherwise nothing would ever get done.
Now, what am I missing here? Is she just that attached? Separation anxiety? What do I do? Do I just wait it out until she grows out of it? What if she doesn't grow out of it? My "Nursing Mother's Companion" book appears to make it seem like it's separation anxiety but no advice how to deal with it. I don't own the LLL book so I can't see what they say about it so I'm asking my farmgirl sisters for advice. My other two self-soothed at an early age and would go through small bouts of separation anxiety type periods when they were sick, tummy ache, or teething. This baby has been like this since Day 1 and I need SLEEP!!! I look like a zombie with 6 months of no sleeping through the night! Advice? Encouragement? Thanks :)
Mothers are those wonderful people who can get up in the morning before the smell of coffee. ~Author Unknown
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| 16 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| countrymommy85 |
Posted - May 15 2012 : 07:20:06 AM
Okay, thanks! I will give that a try!
Mothers are those wonderful people who can get up in the morning before the smell of coffee. ~Author Unknown
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| MagnoliaWhisper |
Posted - May 14 2012 : 7:34:27 PM
we cut up food in the shape and size of french fries mainly.
We never puree foods purposely for him, but if the food is already pureed we don't stop that either. For instance hummus is pureed garbanzo beans and he eats that fine. But, I wouldn't just puree a food just for him.
He usually eats with his fingers/hands as at this age it's a lot about texture and exploration. But, we also give him his own spoon, sometimes he uses it and sometimes not.
When I was in day care they thought at 1 year they should be able to use a spoon completely. But, it takes practice before then. So for now the spoon is just practice/play, we give it to him and he sometimes tries to use it and sometimes not. We don't encourage or discourage it's use either way, we just put the food on his tray and a spoon and he chooses how to eat and how much to eat.
http://www.heathersprairie.blogspot.com |
| MrsRooster |
Posted - May 14 2012 : 1:21:56 PM
I am so glad. You go girl. LOL
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Farmgirl #1259
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| countrymommy85 |
Posted - May 14 2012 : 12:17:41 PM
Heather, do you give him chunks, puree's? Does he eat with his hands or a spoon?
Mothers are those wonderful people who can get up in the morning before the smell of coffee. ~Author Unknown
http://countryrenaissance.blogspot.com
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| MagnoliaWhisper |
Posted - May 14 2012 : 10:16:17 AM
I would also try other veggies, peas are harder to digest and usually not a "good" first food. Squash, sweet potatoes, avocado and such are better as first foods.
At her age she can start feeding herself. My son always feeds himself, he just turned 7 months.
http://www.heathersprairie.blogspot.com |
| countrymommy85 |
Posted - May 14 2012 : 06:28:38 AM
Okay so here is something else I tried. I tried some organic rice cereal diluted so it was like water but I used my milk. She took it like a champ and ate like a pro from the spoon! (Maybe she just isn't ready for veggies?!) No gagging, spit up or anything. Obviously I breastfed her first and gave her a serving of rice cereal after and she fell asleep for about 3-4 hours by herself instead of 45 minutes to an hour and she got up about 3 times Saturday night. I was more rested for Mother's Day than I have been in a long time! Last night I did the same thing and she slept for FIVE hour stretch!!!! Then she got up and wanted to nurse 2 times. Then my firstborn decided to get up at 5am so there goes my extra rest!
She still obviously wants to nurse, not for food but for comfort and assurance it seems. I remember reading in a book how some babies nurse for comfort? I guess she did need something digestable for nighttime so I'm going to continue breastfeeding first and then serving her rice cereal in the evening so her tummy doesn't start rumbling and wakes her up sooner so I can get a nice couple hour stretch of sleep! I think she might end up being a clingy kid but that's okay! Each kid is different and the clingyness won't last forever, then I will be missing it!
Heather, I bet that was just a riot for you after the doctors actually saw for themselves what your daughter could do!
Thanks for all the tips, I probably wouldn't have thought of trying rice cereal for baby because of how she reacted to the peas I tried giving her. She is six months but I think she loves nursing so much she doesn't care for veggies yet. But at least she took the rice cereal and I'm not going to push her to wean, I think she is going to be a long nurser :)
Mothers are those wonderful people who can get up in the morning before the smell of coffee. ~Author Unknown
http://countryrenaissance.blogspot.com
http://www.etsy.com/shop/SunflowersAndHoney |
| MagnoliaWhisper |
Posted - May 11 2012 : 07:33:29 AM
oh and one more thing I was telling this to a woman at church one day, and she said wow I can't believe you had more kids then after DD1. She said she had the opposite, she had four children and the fourth came out like DD1, and she said if he had been her first as much as she loved him he would of been a only child. lol That she just was ragged by him, but she just learned all kids are different.
So what i'm saying is, I don't think it's ness the breastfeeding that makes this one different, it's just all of them are different no matter what you do. Some are just more mommy's babies!
I know my DD2, is 2 and still clung to me! DD1 and DS, aren't near as dependant on me...I mean they love me and all, but yeah mom see ya later I'm having fun here with suzy! hahaha Where DD2 totally freaks when I leave, and she hasn't even ever been with a baby sitter, this is just with like my husband, my parents, my siblings, etc, me going to the bathroom for 4 seconds! haha
http://www.heathersprairie.blogspot.com |
| MagnoliaWhisper |
Posted - May 11 2012 : 07:27:55 AM
I would nap/sleep when she does. I Wish I had of with DD1, I nearly ran my self ragged, and would often fall asleep at the movies, and other places cause of sheer exhaustion.
And yeah DD1 was quite advanced too-she was talking (not sentences, but mama, dada, hi, bye, etc) by literally only a few weeks old...I told the dr and he balked and laughed at me, then he turned to leave the room and she said bye....and he flipped around so fast, and said that baby just said bye to me...I said yes...I told you! He just looked in disbelief and started yelling for the nurses to come in and hear this baby say bye! She skipped crawling and started walking at 6 months!! Again the female dr this time balked at me....then she walked in on my DD1 walking around the room and almost fell over in disbelief! (cause she was also extremely small due to low birth weight from my diabetes, she was only about 6 or 7 lbs at 6 months-born 4lbs, and was only 12 lbs at 1 year-my DH and I are also extremely small though-dwarf by height definition in reality.).
Any way....I've been quite thankful, 2 and 3 child has not been so advanced, and sleep! hahaha I often tell people how thankful I am that it was DD1 that was all that, cause it may of nearly killed me and would of for sure put my body in complete shock if after having 2 and 3 (for 1 and 2) I had DD1 who was so different! hahaha
http://www.heathersprairie.blogspot.com |
| countrymommy85 |
Posted - May 11 2012 : 06:53:27 AM
Lots of good tips here! About the autism, that is very interesting. I had no idea that was a classic sign. She does seem to be quite advanced in her other milestones, except for sleeping through the night. She refuses solids and she only wants milk- more specifically she only wants to nurse. She is a chubby little babykins so I know my milk is doing it's job meeting her needs.
I did wonder about her tummy though, like maybe that is why she only wants to nurse (because it hardly needs to be digested). She makes herself spit up when I try solids. My oldest daughter has celiac (we just found out) so I am wondering about possible tummy distress in the baby.
I know as her mother I am her entire world right now but I just wish it would be easier for the sitter on Sunday nights when I go to small group study with my husband... This last week was awful for her! I feel so bad for sitter AND the baby because I know how frustrating and worrisome it is when you are watching someone else's relentlessly crying baby wondering if you are doing something wrong!!! Ah! Plus, this is the second morning I woke up with bloodshot eyes. The lack of sleep is getting to the point where shortly after dinner its like I'm sleepwalking as I put the kids in bed. Last night I was so tried I couldn't read my book so I snuggled with baby (who slept for 30 min that afternoon and wouldn't sleep in the baby swing) and put in one of my favorite movies... I feel asleep after only a few minutes only to wake up and go right to bed... Forgetting to turn the tv, lamp and dvd player off!!! Yikes!
I guess I will just have to keep on keeping on and give the doctor a call and see what she has to say about all this. Thanks all! :)
Mothers are those wonderful people who can get up in the morning before the smell of coffee. ~Author Unknown
http://countryrenaissance.blogspot.com
http://www.etsy.com/shop/SunflowersAndHoney |
| SpyChicken |
Posted - May 11 2012 : 06:37:12 AM
I know what you're going through! My son was not a good sleeper either (and for medical reasons, he was formula fed)...it can be very exhausting esp. when they don't sleep during the day either.
I would have a chat with the pediatrician just to make sure everything is going fine with your daughter's development, tummy, etc. I used kind of a modified cry-out with my children. I used a very long "nighttime prep routine" to give them plenty of time to wind down and make the transition to bedtime each night. Inevitably, the crying would start and I would wait about 10-15 minutes before going in. If it didn't stop, I'd go in (no lights turned on) and rub their tummies or hair and talk or sing to them for a few minutes. Then I'd go back out. If the crying started again, I'd wait for a little bit longer (abt. 15-20 minutes) and go back in, but this time I would just rub their little backs or tummies without speaking and kiss them goodnight and leave again. More crying? I'd wait abt. 20 minutes and then go in and check to make sure there wasn't a diaper change needed and then quietly leave the room. Eventually, I'd have to go in less and less and they would learn to self-soothe and fall asleep on their own. All I can tell you is that this method worked for me quite well...seemed to be a good compromise. But every mom needs to use the tools and methods that work best for her and her baby.
I agree with some of the other farm girls, too, about the rice pablum-you might want to give that a try! I tried bribing my four month old with a Toys R US gift card, one night when neither of us were sleeping, but it didn't work! LOL 
I hope you find a solution that works for you! Hang in there-your daughter WILL eventually sleep through the night and so will you...and then you won't because you don't hear anything coming from your daughter's room (she will be blissfully sleeping, of course!) LOL
Good Luck! |
| MagnoliaWhisper |
Posted - May 10 2012 : 11:04:38 PM
Formula nor solids do anything for sleep. Some children sleep more then others. Breast milk is ALL a baby under one NEEDS.
I am anti cry is out...it can cause brain damage, and also a major cause of SIDS.
My DD1 was like this, she eventually outgrew it. It was difficult. Oddly enough I never could get her to "nurse"! My DD2, and DS, have both been nursed exclusively and have slept through the night early on. None of mine have slept on their own though till much later.
DD1 finally slept through the night around 3 years old. (yes it was a hard three years!).
Mainly one thing to remember about them always wanting to be around you...that is NATURAL. It's not about anxiety or whatever, it's about they are helpless with out you, they have only ever known being with you (they were inside you their first 9 months of life) anything else is NOT normal for them. And before there was cribs, or homes with another room in them...babies for thousands of years slept next to their parents or very very close, just for safety. So this is natural for babies. It's just as much a need for many if not most babies as eating, being warm, etc.
Remember all of them outgrow it, you don't see mom's going off to college with too many kids. lol haha ;o) Just take it one day at a time, and if you can find a local LLL meeting, I would highly reccomend visiting a meeting.
http://www.heathersprairie.blogspot.com |
| sjmjgirl |
Posted - May 10 2012 : 7:04:06 PM
Is she hitting all of her milestones? The reason I ask is because my son never slept thru the night either unless it was with me. Turns out this is a classic sign of autism. However, he wasn't hitting all of his milestones either. What does your pediatrician say about all this?
I also agree with whoever said she might be a little hungry too. Maybe she's ready for rice cereal?
Farmgirl Sister # 3810
Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.
- Dalai Lama
April is Autism Awareness month. Autism affects 1 in 88 children (1 in 54 boys, including my son). Go to http://www.autismspeaks.org/ to learn more and help Light It Up Blue on April 2nd!
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| knittingmom |
Posted - May 10 2012 : 4:51:50 PM
She could be ready for you to begin introducing rice pablum (which you can mix with your milk), topping her up with something like that or a bit of formula her last feeding before bedtime might help.
Who knows with little tiny tinies, so much of it is guess work and every one is different. Babies sometimes need more contact at times than others. Somebody suggested putting something with your scent on it with her and that's a great idea. Maybe take a receiving blanket into bed with you to get your scent on it for the next morning, that might help. Also something might just be bothering her, her tummy, maybe she's bored, who knows with little babies.
Farmgirl Sister #3759
"There is no foot so small that it cannot leave an imprint on this world"
"The things that matter most are not really things after all" |
| gramadinah |
Posted - May 10 2012 : 4:09:20 PM
I love that you have been able to nurse this long. Good for you but that being said try a bottle of formula It has been a long time but I had the same problem. The breast milk I was producing was not enough to keep my second daughter fed. I would give her 1 bottle at bedtime and she was good for 5-6 hours then a quick nurse about 3 am for a couple weeks and then not until 7 or so. She is now 31 and has here own kids and was the same way with her 3rd baby.
It is ok to feed babies formula I would have to say most people my age were bottle fed because it was the thing to do and I don't think the average 50-60 year old is that screwed up.
My oldest daughter had breast reduction surgery at 21 because she was so uncomfortable. Shr had her daughter at 25 and she was the same way as your baby and she gave her formula along with nursing and she finally got happy too.
I have a feeling that this is going to get me into hot water with a lot of people but I really think she is just hungry.
So I will apologize ahead of time but his is my opinion.
Diana
Farmgirl Sister #273 |
| rksmith |
Posted - May 10 2012 : 3:13:53 PM
I would try putting something of yours in with her, something with your scent to see if it would help. Sounds like she is super attached to you. I would also just let her cry it out - if you know she isn't in real need of anything, then let her cry. She should eventually get out of it, but it'd be hard to say how long that may take. Also you might try giving her short periods of time without you during the day. For example if she is being quiet you might tell her "I'll be right back " step out of her sight for a few seconds or minutes and come back in before she starts screaming (if you don't know how long it'll take time her the first time to get an idea) and give her lots of praise and reward for being good and quiet. Then you can increase the frequency and length of time you step out. It may take some time but will hopefully help.
Rachel
Farmgirl Sister #2753
True enlightenment is nothing but the nature of one's own self being fully realised-- His Holiness the Dali Lama
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| countrymommy85 |
Posted - May 10 2012 : 06:45:22 AM
I do want to mention that she does NOT sleep during the day. She sleeps at total of 2 hours during the day. About 45 minutes to an hour in the late morning and maybe an hour before or after dinner. THen she gets up every 2-4 hours during the night.
Mothers are those wonderful people who can get up in the morning before the smell of coffee. ~Author Unknown
http://countryrenaissance.blogspot.com
http://www.etsy.com/shop/SunflowersAndHoney |
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