| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| woolgirl |
Posted - Jun 02 2011 : 5:41:08 PM
We live in military housing in a townhouse. We recently got new neighbors, and Rosemary was so excited because there is a little girl next door around her age. They play great together, but the problem is that when they do play together they just go back inside and expect me to watch the two of them. I don't have a problem watching my child (obviously) but this little girl comes over whenever, and usually at bad times (right before naps, lunch, etc...). And now she lets herself in our house. We were upstairs today and I turned around and there she was! I would be a little more ok if I knew the parents, but we have only chatted broefly once. I don't want to come across as being mean or that I don't want them to play together, but what should I say?
Liz
Farmgirl #1947 |
| 10 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| Turtlemoon |
Posted - Jun 13 2011 : 12:13:07 PM
Great advice above! What an icky situation, especially with not knowing the parents. We lived in housing just one year and luckily did not have this experience. There was a little girl next door my daughters age but the island her mom had grown up on ate dogs, not kept them as pets and mom was a bit afraid of our puppies and happily stayed outside with me as whenever the girls played. (lol, not making this up, those were mom's words) Good luck with this! If it does become a bit of a problem i would speak with the mp's about the situation. They can always make a visit in regards to the child wandering, etc and even keep your name out of it.
Raggedy Ann stuck in a Barbie Doll World
FarmGirl#1737
http://www.etsy.com/shop/moonhonu |
| woolgirl |
Posted - Jun 13 2011 : 11:32:46 AM
I love that sign idea too! I am like you ladies, I would prefer to have her here, and even if she would go somewhere else I would go with her. But like you said Amanda, I don't like being taken advantage of. And now that we are outside so much it's kind of hard to avoid it. I really wanted to get a little wading pool for her, but I just don't want to be held responsible for someone else's kids of God forbid something bad would happen. I hope that doesn't sound too cruel, I guess I am just a mom who likes to have eys on my child as much as possible.
Liz
Farmgirl #1947 |
| msdoolittle |
Posted - Jun 12 2011 : 8:29:39 PM
I agree with you, Holly. I would MUCH rather kids be at MY house. (In fact, they always are, lol) However, Liz shouldn't be taken advantage of, and thought of as a babysitting service. Frankly, sometimes I do NOT want to watch other's kids. Mine are enough! But, good point.
Liz, I know it can be hard to say 'no'. It only took me about 30 years to learn that, lol. I like the sign idea, too. :0)
FarmGirl #1390
www.mylittlecountry.wordpress.com |
| Tall Holly |
Posted - Jun 04 2011 : 3:04:31 PM
Here are several points. If the children are at your house then you know what they are doing. This is more important when they get to school age and factors which are undesirable enter into their lives. We encourage the children to have their friends over so we know what is happening and the children alway sknow which house is a safe house to hang out at and I prefer it to be mine. Yes, they eat and they make noise buty, they are all safe.
a second point would be to make a little flag with two sides. One is a welcome and knock sign and the other is a this is not a good time to visit sign. the child will learn to read the sign.
If you are a safe, welcoming home then the children will know. some children do not have safe welcoming homes and it is important for all children to have some place safe to gather.
Holly
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| Rosemary |
Posted - Jun 03 2011 : 5:58:02 PM
I'd have a meeting with the neighbors and talk about security issues on base/post. Are doors supposed to be kept locked? When I was a military brat, there were strict rules about respecting people's privacy, how to answer phones "Smith's quarters, Susie Smith speaking," and so on. Your new neighbors might need to be brought up to speed on the regulations you are supposed to follow.
When you meet, you might be sure they have your phone numbers, and let them know you'd appreciate their calling you if your daughter ever lets herself into their house uninvited so you can come get her, because you consider that a breech of their security or privacy. Say you keep a close eye on her, but kids are curious and it isn't outside the realm of possibility that this could happen. "And," you could helpfully add, "of course, I'm happy to do the same for you if one of your kids pops up at our place unexpectedly."
These situations can be tricky, especially if there's some disparity in ranks or grades. Good luck! And thank you for the sacrifices your family is making for our country. I know well what they are.
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| woolgirl |
Posted - Jun 03 2011 : 4:04:40 PM
I know it! Thta's why I am so careful about this whole situation! And I am such a non-confrontational person, so this is really hard for me. We were outside yesterday and she came over and the dad finally did come out and ask if it was ok if she was over, and of course I said it was fine, but and his rely was "You know I DO have to watch my other child." Ummm....ok? I understand, but can you not watch BOTH of your children? Gaaaah! I am just so overprotective of Rosemary, I would NEVER let her wander off somewhere without me! Sorry to vent, I just feel like they are taking advantage of me watching her.
Liz
Farmgirl #1947 |
| msdoolittle |
Posted - Jun 03 2011 : 1:43:21 PM
I agree with the other ladies. Another point that I don't believe was made is that it is a liability on YOUR part, because what if that girl when and told her parents something that she says you did that didn't really happen? Or what if she was injured while in your home? You don't know these people, after all. You just never know. We had a family in our old neighborhood whose mother was, well...pretty nutty. Her daughter came to our house one day and I would NOT allow her inside, but made her go back home, and watched her until she went into her own door. I also made sure that my husband was NOT around her alone for even a second. You just don't know what some nutty people will do or say!
FarmGirl #1390
www.mylittlecountry.wordpress.com |
| embchicken |
Posted - Jun 03 2011 : 04:43:56 AM
I have to agree with Nini. Many years ago I had a little girl from the neighborhood doing the same thing. I did exactly what Nini is suggesting that you do. It took a while, and I think the child "got it" before the parents did, but eventually it worked. The parents do need to be responsible for their child. With all that is going on in this crazy world today I don't understand why someone would let a child wander off like that. I hope the situation works itself out for you.
~ Elaine
Farmgirl sister #2822
"Find yourself a cup of tea; the teapot is behind you. Now tell me about hundreds of things." ~Saki
http://embchicken.blogspot.com
http://gusandtrudy.blogspot.com |
| Ninibini |
Posted - Jun 02 2011 : 8:50:57 PM
First of all, I would lock the door and make her knock, Elizabeth, and explain to her that it is not okay just to walk in the door like that. If something happens and she ends up walking in again, gently take her by the hand and explain to her parents that she has just been walking in the house, and you can't have that.
Also, when you are outside and the girls are playing, if her parents go in (or if they are not outside with you), I would take her gently by the hand and walk her to her parents' door and politely tell them that you cannot watch her for them - you have your hands full with your own child or something planned. If they say "she's okay" by herself, tell them that you're going to be going in soon (or have plans or something) and that you are more comfortable letting them know that she will be outside alone - then politely excuse yourself and walk away WITHOUT their child. I would also do what Alee said and request their number to set up play dates AND/OR politely offer my telephone number and indicate that it would be so much more convenient if they would call before sending her over. Gently explain to them that you are really happy that your girls are becoming quick friends, but since your daughter naps and since you have lots going on when you're at home, it's really difficult when she shows up unexpectedly. Tell them it'd just be much easier for you if they would call to make sure it's a good time, that's all. If she continues to show up unannounced, just send her home and follow up with an immediate phone call to Mom and Dad to politely and gently let them know that it wasn't a good time and that you had to send her back - that you just want them to know so she doesn't wander off. Maybe if you have to send her home enough times, they'll get the hint, too. She's not your responsibility, of course, but somebody needs to make the parents be responsible! If they don't get the hint, start recording incidences and make a call to child services - because to me, that is totally negligent to let a little child wander like that. Unbelievable! Good luck! Hugs - Nini
Farmgirl Sister #1974
God gave us two hands... one to help ourselves, and one to help others!
www.papercraftingwithnini.myctmh.com
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| Alee |
Posted - Jun 02 2011 : 5:51:09 PM
Maybe set a good example and go over and ask for contact information so you can call and set up a playdate for Rosemary to come over? Maybe they will get the hint since you are asking for permission.
Alee
Farmgirl Sister #8
www.farmgirlalee.blogspot.com
www.allergyjourneys.blogspot.com
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