| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| countrymum |
Posted - Mar 10 2011 : 5:46:01 PM
Any of you mothers of teen boys or had teenage boys, I could use some support.
My son is 15, he is a good kid, it's just some days or lately most days I shake my head and say "ugh!"
Do any of you feel this way too?
I know it's the age and my MIL says "this too shall pass." But I really sometimes wonder.
"This country needs cleaner minds & dirtier fingernails." Mark Twain |
| 25 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| krissy |
Posted - Aug 30 2011 : 10:27:30 AM
Judy, what a riot about the pants! LOL
Well, yes, we have taken away privileges from our teen when his grades dive. Thank God for online grading systems!!! I like the idea of selling the XBox and games. I'd have to do that with the DS and games since the Wii and games are for the whole family and I, personally, love Wii Sports and Wii Sports Resort! We take away video and computer-game privileges, no martial arts. He doesn't go play at friends' houses much, so that's not usually a privilege he loses. He treasures his time on the computer or his DS or the Wii. Oh, and when the batteries die on the Wii remote, oh well, too bad, the kids have to buy them themselves. Ha!
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~Farmgirl Sister #986~
http://achickenwithherheadcutoff.blogspot.com/
http://lateinlifemommy.blogspot.com/
http://www.youravon.com/kristenparkinson |
| Farmer Judy |
Posted - Aug 30 2011 : 10:03:31 AM
Kristen, both my boys (13 and 15) tried doing good on tests and not doing homework and it did not work to my delight. Both the boys now have online grades at school and if they don't have an average of "C" they are grounded till they do. It is eash to change them, in a way. Make not doing their work worse than doing it. Last spring we went on eBay and sold their XBox and games to the highest bidder and they got the message.
Ladies, I have a 15 year old that I made the concession that if he wears his gym shorts he can have his pants a little low, it is hilarious to watch him constantly pulling up his pants since they fall down so easily. What I don't get is the pencil thin pants he wears, I just don't get how they are confortable, where does his "you know what" end up if there is no room in those pants. We told him if he treats his body like that much longer it may never work right when he gets older. He gasped and then decided we must be kidding because how would anyone know that kind of stuff.
Teenagers, what fun!
God bless,
Judy
Born a city girl but a farm girl at heart!
http://farmtimes.blogspot.com/ |
| krissy |
Posted - Aug 30 2011 : 09:30:54 AM
Hi, it's me again. Sorry for not posting much. Things are literally insane at home right now, but I wanted to come back to this topic. My teen is 14 and starting high school next week. Oh, also, his voice has gotten much lower since I last posted in this thread. It took me quite by surprise - I thought maybe he had a cold or something! So he starts high school and we will keep him in twice-a-week martial arts in the evenings and also youth group once a week at night. If his grades fall, I'll pull him out of one of the evening activities.
Over the summer, my son has been helping his dad with work and we've also given him a lot more chores. This is to keep him from sitting around all day. He gets paid to mow the lawn (no small task), weed eat, wash the vehicles inside and out. We know he likes to have spending money, so he gets paid for those chores. We've let him play on his computer for a couple hours each morning but then he has to go outside and/or do chores as well. He is tall and thin and chooses sweets over good-for-you foods, but if I'm doing the cooking he will eat what I make. I don't cater to his tastes. He wanted pie for breakfast. Get real!
So I am anxious for school to start and hope he is able to keep up with the high school way of life. Things change from middle school to high school and teachers aren't so lenient. He's of the mentality that if he avoids the assignment, it'll go away. Um.... no. Doesn't work that way. You'd think he'd figure it out. He's been doing that since 3rd grade! Then he ends up in tears when he's been found out. I seriously hope my 9 y.o. son doesn't pick up these bad habits!
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~Farmgirl Sister #986~
http://achickenwithherheadcutoff.blogspot.com/
http://lateinlifemommy.blogspot.com/
http://www.youravon.com/kristenparkinson |
| Tall Holly |
Posted - May 30 2011 : 5:04:42 PM
We homeschool as well. the school permits the boys to participate in sports. My boys actually have as much of a chance as the schooled children in making it onto the team. Basketball is a pain for all the boys because the coach picks 5 boys to play and the rest sit ont he bench. So, my 16 yo did not bother to try out at all.
We have saggy britches as well. We have compromised, as long as their pants are above their buns I can live with it. Their underwear is clean. They do look like toddlers with full diapers when their pants are sagging and I tell them that.
One of my sons volunteered at the library for a while taking books to daycares and reading to them. He told me he was not the volunteering type and I told him all of his sports coaches were volunteer and he could pay the community back for investing time in him.
There is a program in the community called Onion River dollars. No money exchanges hands but there is a list of jobs that people need to have done. If a person does the job they bank the time and someone else will do a job for them.
Your son could mentor a child form your church or nearby school. Around here youth mentors spend an hour or two a week listening and playing to the child.
My sons are doing alright now. They are being nice to me right now. It is important to be nice to the Mama because the mama does not do nice things for the sons or daughter if Mama is not happy. I tell them very specifically what he/she has done that has upset me and the reason he/she is not getting the favor he/she wants.
Boys do not think like girls and I find I am at a disadvantage because I think my sons should understand something and they just don't because they do not think emotionally. I am working on being clear with them but it takes me a while sometimes to figure out why they did not behave like I wanted.
Holly
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| FieldsofThyme |
Posted - May 30 2011 : 05:03:56 AM
I have one son. However, right now my 17 yo daughter is the problem. It comes and goes in spurts, and I am challenged often.
Farmgirl #800
http://pioneerwomanatheart.blogspot.com/
http://scrapreusedandrecycledartprojects.blogspot.com/
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| Dusky Beauty |
Posted - Apr 30 2011 : 5:51:51 PM
quote:
Originally posted by krissy
We had him in the Youth group at church but he has kind of fallen away from God and has stopped taking communion.
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~Farmgirl Sister #986~
http://achickenwithherheadcutoff.blogspot.com/
http://lateinlifemommy.blogspot.com/
http://www.youravon.com/kristenparkinson
Don't worry about it so much Kristen, All kids go through a time in life where they make the transition of participating in the faith of their parents to making the faith their own. If you brought him up in the way he should go, he'll come back to it :) About the time he gets out of the house and gets a taste of a world that's unfiltered by Godliness he'll figure it out.
I've got a (barely) 18 year old and a 13 year old in the house (not mine, my mother's but they live with me just the same, and I'm forced to do a larger share of the parenting than I should.)
My sister is close enough to being an adult that we like a lot of the same things and "get" each other most of the time, but at the same time that frontal lobe isn't fully matured yet and those enigmas like "judgment" and "long term consequences" elude her. She don't get into the usual bad trouble like driving too fast, drinking, smoking etc, but she is SO bone idle lazy. It's been a close call to graduate because she puts everything off to the absolute last minute, and if she thinks of an excuse to get out of doing something, she'll use it. She's had the same set of chores for 5 years and she still wont do them on time without being hassled and she doesn't take any pride in doing something well unless it coincides with her "hobby du'jour".
She immerses herself in something she enjoys and loses sight of everything else in life... till she gets busted for dropping the ball (like almost failing 3 classes required to graduate because she didn't bother to do projects or homework assignments for two months) Then my mother starts grounding her from her favorite obsession and she finds something else to fixate on that is a total waste of time.
Then there's my brother-- he's a decent kid, most of the time, and is in civil air patrol (that's like junior air force), and takes school seriously, and has a good work ethic 80% of the time, but he deals with "once mama's baby" syndrome. He's super critical of my young children and is rude to them constantly and possessive of (our) mom.
He gets really mouthy and oversteps his nonexistent authority. (I hate when he tells my kids what to do when I'm in the same room and they're not doing anything actually wrong.)
He always expects mom to intervene on *his* side (she doesn't-- adults win, always. Especially when they pay the bills.) Every time he gets punished or chewed out by me or my hubby he goes and cries to her about it behind our backs.
It's a really stressful situation sometimes >_< I'm too busy picking the battles that matter to even bat an eyelash at the saggy pants.
"After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him. The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.” ~Will Rogers |
| pnickols |
Posted - Apr 15 2011 : 5:22:03 PM
I just found this topic, love the ones about the sagging pants. am dealing with some making out behavior and not looking forward to the discussion cuz he will be really upset by the consequences but he has been sneaking around and hiding things so his social life just came to a screeching halt. he is my youngest and as a teen is sooo different from the others. and not always in a good way. He is keeping his grades up but I need honesty and to be able to trust him |
| krissy |
Posted - Apr 07 2011 : 07:18:21 AM
All I can say is that I'm glad I still have an 8-y.o. son because any mistakes I made with my teenager, I will NOT make with him! LOL
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~Farmgirl Sister #986~
http://achickenwithherheadcutoff.blogspot.com/
http://lateinlifemommy.blogspot.com/
http://www.youravon.com/kristenparkinson |
| craftingram |
Posted - Apr 07 2011 : 06:49:25 AM
I no longer have a teenage boy around the house, but I can relate to all your stories. No one could love their child more than I do, but there were times when I told that 14 year old he wasn't going to live to be 15! It will pass, I promise. And believe it or not, most of you will not remember all the angst and stress. My son is now 32, father of a 5 year old boy (possible payback), 3 year old girl (payback for sure) and another on the way. He is the best Dad I have ever seen, loving,fun, and patient beyond belief. I am so proud of him. That said I would give a year of my life to spend one more day playing with him as a little boy. I know it doesn't seem possible ladies, but keep trying to enjoy everyday with them and just keep loving them alot. It passes before you know it.
Karin
Farmgirl #2708
Romans 8: 38,39 |
| Montrose Girl |
Posted - Apr 07 2011 : 06:23:50 AM
You ladies are a hoot. I have years to go before I have to deal with a teenager. At this point, I don't even know if my little one is a boy or a girl. I love the humor and how you ladies work with your kids. I will definitely keep reading as the time goes by.
I can just so see the horrified look on your son's face when you pulled your pants down and your hubby followed suit. Too funny.
Laurie
http://www.inntheorchardbnb.com/ |
| Ninibini |
Posted - Apr 06 2011 : 10:02:58 PM
Awww... God love and bless you, Jeannie. I'm not perfect, believe me, but I do try! :) Thank you! I think we ALL are awesome Moms, and we sure do ALL need to hear that a little more often, don't we? :)
Krissy - we had our son in martial arts when he was little, but he isn't the least bit interested right now - isn't that awful!? I'm going to try working on him about it a little more because WOW would that give me so much more peace of mind when he walks out the door to know that he really can protect himself and be wise in so doing! I will say prayers for your son. Try not to worry - God will be sure to nurture the seeds you have planted in his heart. I believe that with all of mine! :) My son used to be a real homebody until he started meeting kids in the neighborhood. It was such a blessing for him to be able to get out there, run around, play football and Nerf wars and all that crazy kind of stuff. But now the kids are older and some have started to stray and go wayward, and I just really cringe when some of them are out there with him. Your son sounds like mine -always "bored," always wanting something to do, but nothing presented is ever interesting or fun enough. It's so hard, isn't it? It's like my son is too grown up for Mom, but still needs her, but feels weird about spending time with her, so he balks her at every turn. Ugh. I'm just not cool anymore, and that is the pits. HOWEVER, I do believe that there will be light at the end of the tunnel! One day, when he's away at school, has a ton of dirty laundry, and a stomach whose grumblings just aren't sated enough by cafeteria food, I'll be the coolest person he knows - uh, next to his girlfriend, of course! ;)
Hi Mary!!! We're trying to encourage our son to try out for the high school's golf team this summer, but I think since he's homeschooled, he's a little shy about fitting in. Plus the school's homeschool evaluator alluded to the fact that "by law" the school "has" to let him "try." We got the message that he can try, but not to get too excited. A friend of ours suggested that the school will probably give preference to the kids in public school over homeschoolers. We'll see. I'm still working on him with that! And like you, we had an AWESOME experience with our local boy scouts. But he had to drop out when he hit - what was it? 7th grade? or 6th? I can't remember now. The reason was that he is basically allergic to every poisonous plant in the woods, and the boy scouts at that next level are heavily involved in camping in all seasons. Yes, meds are an option, but after a trip to the Renaissance Faire and a romp through it in the woods, he was covered head to toe with three or four different "poisons" - even in his ears and his eyes almost swelled shut! Since that point, he wants NOTHING to do with the woods or camping or boy scouts at all. Can't blame him, truly - he was a mess! I'm just really hoping he doesn't share his Mom's allergies for horses... I'd love to get him out to one of the local farms this summer to try horseback riding! I love it - but I look worse than him after a day on the trails! LOL! Even with medicine! :) BTW - Do you happen to know anywhere out our way that does public horseback riding??? Ligonier, maybe?
Thanks, girls - I really appreciate your input!!! Please keep the suggestions coming - as you can see, I really need them!!!
Hugs -
Nini
God gave us two hands... one to help ourselves, and one to help others!
Farmgirl Sister #1974 |
| jpbluesky |
Posted - Apr 06 2011 : 7:32:24 PM
Nini = you are an awesome mom. Time will prove this.
Farmgirl Sister # 31
www.blueskyjeannie.blogspot.com
Psalm 51: 10-13 |
| MaggieMB |
Posted - Apr 06 2011 : 6:54:30 PM
I just read the "underwear showing" stories and LOL! So funny! My youngest son is 18, and school sports have been a big help with keeping him busy and behaving. We also had a really good experience with boy scouts. We have a local troop with caring and trustworthy leaders and they can stay in until they are 18. |
| krissy |
Posted - Apr 06 2011 : 10:08:34 AM
My son is in martial arts classes twice a week. He's in the adult class but there are other teens about his age in there as well. We had him in the Youth group at church but he has kind of fallen away from God and has stopped taking communion. This upsets me greatly. Anyway, besides church activities and martial arts, he basically sits in his room or pesters his brother. He has one friend who lives far enough away that we drive him there, and he has a friend who is two years younger than him that lives across the way, but he basically sits around here. It doesn't help that I have an ankle healing from surgery - I can't take him where he wants to go. He doesn't take the initiative to do things, though. He is a total homebody.
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~Farmgirl Sister #986~
http://achickenwithherheadcutoff.blogspot.com/
http://lateinlifemommy.blogspot.com/
http://www.youravon.com/kristenparkinson |
| Ninibini |
Posted - Apr 05 2011 : 12:58:44 PM
Man, that would REALLY drive our boys nuts, huh, Krissy? LOL!!! But how awesome that would be for us Moms!!!
Girls - what kinds of activities are your boys involved in outside of school? Are they involved in any special summer programs, sports, groups, etc? We're homeschooled, and as I have posted in another strain, we live in a neighborhood and community where there is a very disquieting element. My son was involved in different programs in the past - taking golfing lessons in the summer, youth group, volunteering for charity, working on side jobs with Dad, for example - but now that he's older, it seems that activities suited to his age level are few and far between. If he had his way, he'd just go work with his dad full-time in the summer, but he's only 14, so that's not possible. We take him all sorts of great places and to do fun, interesting activities, and he does have good friends that he sees fairly regularly, but we'd like to get him involved in activities where he'd meet other kids his own age (outside of our neighborhood, which has problems, to say the least) and gain new wholesome experiences that will give him a little more independence. Do you all have any suggestions?
Thanks and hugs -
Nini
God gave us two hands... one to help ourselves, and one to help others!
Farmgirl Sister #1974 |
| krissy |
Posted - Apr 05 2011 : 10:07:37 AM
quote:
Originally posted by countrymum
I am so glad that we have each other to listen too. I feel as if you are all sitting at my kitchen table with a good pot of tea just chatting away!
I quite agree! Wish we all lived closer!
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~Farmgirl Sister #986~
http://achickenwithherheadcutoff.blogspot.com/
http://lateinlifemommy.blogspot.com/
http://www.youravon.com/kristenparkinson |
| countrymum |
Posted - Mar 31 2011 : 6:14:03 PM
Nini, you and your DH are a hoot!
I try to use humor a lot too, I figure if they are going to roll their eyes at Mom she might as well give them a good reason to do it.
I am so glad that we have each other to listen too. I feel as if you are all sitting at my kitchen table with a good pot of tea just chatting away!
"This country needs cleaner minds & dirtier fingernails." Mark Twain |
| jackie v |
Posted - Mar 26 2011 : 10:06:56 AM
I have to admit the thought of all parents walking the mall like that to prove a point would be quite the site..kinda' like at Christmas time when the huge groups of carolers went to the malls and sang Handel's Messiah...not quite sure goosebumps would be the reaction though...nausea and headaches maybe ! ;) I think that a SERIOUS atomic wedgie is in order..the kind that has him picking for a good five minutes ! yes???? |
| Ninibini |
Posted - Mar 24 2011 : 10:11:14 AM
LOL! Ohmygosh, Kristen! I completely forgot about that song!! I'm going to use it! I wonder if it would annoy people in church if I sang it when we go up for communion?! LOL! Just kidding - I'll quietly hoist 'em up for him by the beltloops...
Hugs - Nini
God gave us two hands... one to help ourselves, and one to help others!
Farmgirl Sister #1974 |
| krissy |
Posted - Mar 24 2011 : 08:53:17 AM
Nini, you are a hoot! I am cracking up over here!!! And Jacki, I agree about the alcohol!
My 14-y.o. has no butt so his pants hang and yes, if he didn't like long shirts, we'd all see his underwear! I sing that song from American Idol a couple years ago, "Pants on the ground, pants on the ground, lookin' like a fool with your pants on the ground," and my son says, "I do not!" ha ha little does he know! LOL
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~Farmgirl Sister #986~
http://achickenwithherheadcutoff.blogspot.com/
http://lateinlifemommy.blogspot.com/
http://www.youravon.com/kristenparkinson |
| Ninibini |
Posted - Mar 24 2011 : 08:31:49 AM
LOL! Jackie, you're too funny! What helps me through is a handful of almonds (good for the heart) at the end of the day. My girlfriend - real farmgirl, wife and mother of four boys - told me her grandfather advised her to take them, knowing how a mother's heart can stress over boys. He took a handful a day and never stressed or had any heart problems! :)
Do any of you have that problem with your son and saggy pants? What in the WORLD is up with that? You'd think boys would want to take better care of their looks. Our son wears a belt and everything, but not a day goes by that I don't see his underwear peeping over the top of his pants or shorts. It's not like the horrifying look you see on t.v., but nevertheless, that's still exposed Fruit-of-the-Loom over there on the fruit of my womb! I swore MY son would never wear his pants like that! HA! And I thought I knew sooooo much! There's gotta be a cure...
Last weekend, I was fed up, so I got up from the couch, turned around and pulled my jeans down just enough to show the color of my skivvies. I stated I was trying out a new look and asked my DH and DS if my underwear was showing - or was it "okay?" Our son was mortified, but my husband started laughing - he got the idea. He rose up and pulled his pants down a bit. Now, I wouldn't normally share this with anyone, but you need to understand: my DH doesn't WEAR skivvies... So believe me when I say, our DS was absolutely mortified! My DH and I just looked at each other and busted out laughing, and in unison said, "Hey - let's start a new craze!" Our son said, "Oh, COME ON!" I said, "What? You don't like the "my parents are my peeps" look? You think it would be horrifying? PLEASE! You do it to us all the time! There is not one parent of a teenage boy who wouldn't 'get' our message and understand! I bet we'd inspire hundreds of parents at the mall to do the same!" His next response was an OMG look on his face and an, "Oh, Mom, no - please! I'll try harder! I'll keep them pulled up!" My husband started trapsing around the room with a rapper walk and said, "Well, yo yo yo YO - you'd betta!"
Sad to say our DS's "trying harder" lasted just about 20 mins... Ugh.
And I honestly don't have the courage to walk through the mall like that.
I pity him, however, the next time his Dad takes him to the mall! LOL! ;)
Maybe heavy-duty, double sided tape strapped to the outside of his underwear and to the inside of his jeans would help? No... then his underwear would sag, too - Heaven forbid! I think he's going to find a beautiful pair of brightly colored rainbow suspenders in his Easter basket, my friends... THAT should do the trick! ;)
Hugs and commisserations -
Nini
God gave us two hands... one to help ourselves, and one to help others!
Farmgirl Sister #1974 |
| jackie v |
Posted - Mar 23 2011 : 4:54:54 PM
Nini..I couldn't help but laugh at your entry. I can so feel your pain! Except it's with my 18 year old daughter..aaarrgghh! I honestly think that is why God put alcohol on this earth..for our sanity !LOL! |
| Aunt Jenny |
Posted - Mar 23 2011 : 4:10:32 PM
I actually have two 14 year old boys. One is 8 months older than the other (both adopted) so I totally know what you mean. I also have 3 grown up boys. It does get easier for sure...and some of them just have harder personalities as well. One of mine is for sure more work than the other...but they are both good boys. Hang in there!!
Jenny in Utah
Proud Farmgirl sister #24
Inside me there is a skinny woman crying to get out...but I can usually shut her up with cookies
http://www.auntjennysworld.blogspot.com/ visit my little online shop at www.auntjenny.etsy.com |
| ddmashayekhi |
Posted - Mar 23 2011 : 11:45:53 AM
My oldest sons are 25 and 28 now and my youngest son is 7. I was glad we survived the teen years, though at times I wanted to tear my hair out. They say it is all the chemical changes going on in a teens brain that makes them so difficult to live with. I'm not looking forward to going through the teen years ago, but there is no skipping it!
Hang in there & know it will pass some day! Try to keep your sense of humor too!
Dawn in IL |
| krissy |
Posted - Mar 23 2011 : 09:55:03 AM
Yes, Lorie, I agree in that I hope what we've been trying to teach our kids sticks with them through adulthood, but they need to put it into practice now! lol
So the other day, my 14-y.o. son goes and sits on my 8-y.o. son's HEAD. Of course, the younger one cried and then kicked the crap out of the older one's legs in self defense. Oh gee... so there I was, telling him AGAIN not to get back at someone by hitting, but then it was the teen's fault to begin with for having no common sense. That might just be a sibling thing, but the teenager has no brain sometimes!
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~Farmgirl Sister #986~
http://achickenwithherheadcutoff.blogspot.com/
http://lateinlifemommy.blogspot.com/
http://www.youravon.com/kristenparkinson |
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