| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| natesgirl |
Posted - Jan 08 2011 : 2:45:58 PM
I am so tired of bein told how horribly I'm feedin my 2y/o by people who don't have kids!
I have a very open-minded little girl when it comes to food. She will taste anything and likes most things. She eats mostly veges and fruits as she doesn't care much for most meats. She does eat breads, pastas, and grains as well.
I had someone call child welfare on me claimin I was deprivin her of variety and keepin her vitamin intake to restricted! I was able to prove them wrong and the welfare people were very impressed with her food selections.
I don't limit her, she simply prefers to eat things one at a time. The case worker said she had to see her eat to know what sort of things she was eatin. I showed her that our cabinets do not contain junk food, but that wasn't good enough.
I laid out on the table a banana, a can of green beans, and the box of salad and asked our little one what she wanted to eat. She chose the salad. I offered to make a bowl of green beans to go with it. She said no, only salad. I offered to give her the banana on a plate with it. She said no, only salad. I made the salad and she ate it.
I offered her the banana after the salad was gone. She didn't want it. Then the case worker offered her a candy bar. She didn't want it either.
After she was done talkin to me and gettin ready to leave my baby girl asked me for the banana. I was peelin it and asked the case worker to watch her. I only gave her a small piece and waited for her to finish it. I then offered her the green beans agian. She said no, more banana. I offered her more salad, she said no, more banana. The case worker offered her the candy bar agian. She took it, put it on the shelf beside the bananas and came back. I gave her more banana. The case worker asked her about the candy bar. My little girl looked right at the woman and said 'That for later! Banana now.'
I make sure she eats a wide variety of foods, but she insists that it be one at a time. Some days she wants chicken noodle soup, some days she wants mac and cheese, most days it's salad or green beans. She will eat corn, carrots, cabbage, brussel sprouts, peas, squash, potatoes, lima beans, any bean with a little hot sauce and ketchup on them, pasta with any sauce or even butter and a seasoning blend, hot dogs, rice plain or seasoned or sauced, oatmeal with butter and brown sugar, boiled wheat berries with coconut and cranberries(my favorite as well), peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, apples, bananas, pears, peaches, strawberries, blueberries, rasberries, mulberries, blackberries, cherries, kiwi, turkey dipped in A1 sauce, and venison pot roast. I have to be sure there's lots of veges with dinner for her if I make anything meat wise. She will eat lots of one kind of vege, then nibble sometimes at the other stuff.
Just yesterday she had a banana for breakfast, then carrot sticks for a snack, then peanut butter and jelly for lunch. She ate a salad before dinner and had chicken noodle soup for dinner. She ate her grilled cheese sandwich right before bed and had a popsickle with it instead of juice to drink. I think it was a perfect day since she eats 2 or 3 servings worth for her size of each thing. That's 3 fruits, 4 veges, 2 breads, and 2 protiens for the day! That's better than I eat!
I have become very nervous of anyone who asks about my kids on the phone or when we're out in public. I even make a point to avoid the subject with family. I have recieved several phone calls sayin it was a neighbor who thinks my baby girl is so tiny because I'm not feedin her right.
Her doctor said she is small due to her health problems from bein a preemie, but the neighbor says she should have outgrown that by now! This person doesn't have children! She's not a doctor! She's a spinster secretary that the whole neighborhood says is the nosiest busybody in town!
I am so tired of people makin assumptions and thinkin that everything in the world is their business! I have told this person to leave my family alone more than once since she seems to think I am makin slaves of my 2 older girls by makin them help weed the garden. I hear of her talkin all over town about us and everyone else as if she's livin in our homes with us!
I also found out the case worker who came to my house has no children and here she is bein an 'expert'! I don't like this and I don't understand it at all. I have 3 girls and the oldest is 16, healthy, never in trouble with the law, not pregnant, and preparin to go to college. I think I'm doin better than a lot of the others in this town. I know a woman who's raisin 3 babies from her now 17y/o girl who has dropped out of school and is in jail right now for shopliftin. Where are the authorities in this case? They've never been to her house!
I am just rantin here mostly. I know I'm not doin such a bad or wrong thing with the way I'm raisin my girls. I guess I'm just needin to blow off steam. This has been stewin in me for a while.
Is my 2y/o really that odd wantin to eat just one thing at a time for a meal?
She's 24 pounds and 2 1/2 feet tall. Is that really that tiny? I know she's skinny, but I can still find clothes to fit her so she can't be that far off from the norm. Right?
She's very active and strong as an ox! Her doctor is always impressed at how much she can lift and carry. He tests her with weighted bags and has her push on a bar with her feet to watch her leg strength. He said she scores in the 4y/o range and is highly intelligent on the baby IQ testin scale. He thinks that's why she has never developed the normal 'baby belly'. She won't sit still and watch tv and she actually helps carry in the groceries and stuff. He says she's amazing for a preemie and great for a normal born child.
I'm just lettin outsiders get to me aren't I?
I guess I just needed an outlet for all this. It all sounds so silly and trivial now that I read it.
Thanks for lettin me bend your alls ears over this!
By the way, she never ate that candy bar. I did! I can't resist a reeses cup! LOL!
Farmgirl Sister #1438
God - Gardening - Family - Is anything else important? |
| 11 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| Heartbroken farmgirl |
Posted - Feb 16 2011 : 08:26:45 AM
Angela,
I am so in total agreence with you. I have four children, ranging from 13 to 2 in age. My oldest son never got passed the 5th %, my first daughter stayed a steady 8%, my second daughter us still at a whopping 5%, and my youngest is not on the chart. He never made it. He is over two years, and just now in 18 month clothes. My girls are 7 & almost 5, and their clothes are 4T & 6x in size. Both girls are tall enough to wear the *correct* size, but too darn skin!! We own a lot of belts. Being the mother of four children, and having moved a few times, their Doctors have changed a few times as well. None of my kiddos are premiees, but each Dr has insisted on testing for problems. The newest Dr has even insisted on a nutritionalist! I think i wound up teaching her, she doesn't grow her own food, what kind of yuckie garbage was sprayed on her veggies!?!
In the U.S. we have a humiliating obesity rate. Moms, dads, kids, and pets alike are over weight!! If Drs are upset about that, why do we use an AVERAGE of baby weight gain to make this growth chart? We don't want an overweight society, but slim healthy children are questioned? Why? If your daughter was chubby your neighbour would probably complain too. You don't need to make that old bird happy. Good for you and your daughter that she preferred the banana to the candy.(no way could I have resisted a peanut butter cup!!!) It sounds like you are doing a great job with her, and your other children as well. Some families have husky kids, some have tall or short kids, and some of us just have strong healthy SKINY kids. My 13 year old son,is filling out, just now, and even plays tackle football.
As far as working your kids, chores are the only way to instill in children how to appreciate the things and life they have. If they don't work for anything, they don't appreciate anything. Sounds to me like you have a foolish neighbour, and very well rounded kids. Enjoy your family, and let the neighbour stew in her miserable corner by herself, as she seems to have nothing better to do.
I did agree with asking for documentation from your Dr visits though. If anything ever happens like this again, it would be wonderful to be fully prepared. Wouldn't it have been grand to meet CPS at the door, with a dietary menu, a physical report, and a document from your Dr saying your daughter is fit, strong, healthy, and doing wonderfully for a premiee?
Keep doing what your doing, and have a fabulous life with your slim family. The neighbours can go get a life of their own.
(((Hugs)))
The tears I shed then, watered the flowers I harvest now.
www.broken908.blogspot.com
http://forums.familyfriendpoems.com/broken908
"The aim of education is the knowledge not of facts but of values."-Dean William Ralph Inge |
| countrymommy85 |
Posted - Jan 22 2011 : 8:26:49 PM
I have an 18 month old daughter and she wants whatever we eat. When she first started eating regular " big people" food she only wanted to try one thing at a time. In my opinion it is a stage and every kid reaches the different stages in their own timing. She still refuses silverware, which I was told "that's not normal". To which I replied "compared to what"? I want to embrace every stage in my kids lives because I can't go back and enjoy them at the stages they are at right now. It is so sad people have to get authorities involved! I get nervous every time I explain to people I don't give my daughter junk food. I was told by someone it is not providing my child choices and with holding good. Yikes! If only those people knew how bad that highly processed food is for them! I just take a breath and realize everyone is entitled to their opinion, although I wish they would not get so personal. Hang in there! We are not alone, well meaning nosy people are every where. But you catch more flies with honey than vinegar. Who knows maybe someday you can turn them on to eating healthy too!
~We can make the world a better place for our kids and future generations by what we do today!~ |
| Aunt Jenny |
Posted - Jan 11 2011 : 09:43:09 AM
Sounds to me like you are doing great. And you are very lucky to have the doctor you do.
I am a mom of 7 and have done daycare off and on since my oldest (who is 33 now) was a baby. I generally feed 5 or 6 2 yr. olds every day and they are all SO different. I offer them all the food groups and they eat exactly what they please..and none the same. Don't let busybodies get you down..you sound like a great mom and your little girl is lucky to have you!
Jenny in Utah
Proud Farmgirl sister #24
Inside me there is a skinny woman crying to get out...but I can usually shut her up with cookies
http://www.auntjennysworld.blogspot.com/ visit my little online shop at www.auntjenny.etsy.com |
| Montrose Girl |
Posted - Jan 11 2011 : 06:27:42 AM
Angela,
My thoughts are with you through this. I'm having a hard time with people lately. All the negativity, the political extremes, and the nosey neighbor routine. We are so bored with our own lives, we have to push our way into others. It can be very hard when you hear the bad, but remember the good that is also being said. Print out what you posted from your doctor and put it on the fridge as a reminder to yourself that you are doing good. It's annoying that the bad can remain in our heads and hearts longer than the good sometimes. Hang in there and keep up the good work.
Best,
Laurie
http://www.inntheorchardbnb.com/ |
| natesgirl |
Posted - Jan 10 2011 : 3:15:15 PM
I took Martha to see her pediatrician agian. He said he would have no problem handlin any CPS worker who came to my door and neither would his nurse. They specialize in preemies and childrens with health issues and have to talk to CPS weekly. He gave me a number to use that goes directly to his cell phone when he's not at his desk, mornin and night!
He said she had gained almost half a pound, which he was sure she'd lose this spring! He said he's not worried as he's watched her grow from a limp, ragdoll infant to an extremely active, strong toddler. He said she has done amazin and even pointed to another patient he had with the same birth situation and they weren't doin well at all.
My little Martha has overcome bad odds and is flourishin, he said. He told me he considers me a great mother and my little girl an amazin, advanced little person! I feel so much better!
He told me the insistin on eatin one thing by children is a normal body function. For example, Martha is on a huge banana and salad binge right now. He tested her and told me her potassium and iron are a little low, which she gets from dark greens and bananas! He said he even recommends red leaf lettuce for people who don't like spinach. Red leaf lettuce is her favorite! He showed me she is just listenin to her bady and that I would do well to let her.
I also learned that adult cravings are our bodies way of askin for something we're low on. He said chocolate is an antioxident request and he said dark chocolate is a lot more fun than spinach and liver! I did get permission to indulge the chocolate version and he said he likes cake better than bar form since it has wheat in it and egg to provide a little variety for the body!
I love my daughters doctor!!
Thank you all for such warm and comfortin comments. It is so nice to know other people are goin through the same type of things, even if it doesn't take such a bad turn as mine. It's also nice to feel such support from friends! Thank you all!
Farmgirl Sister #1438
God - Gardening - Family - Is anything else important? |
| FebruaryViolet |
Posted - Jan 10 2011 : 06:50:05 AM
Well, as a mother of an INCREDIBLY picky almost 2 year old, who "changes" her preferences weekly, I can honestly say it's frustrating. She's also thin, but she's also REALLY tall for her age. When we saw the pediatrician at her 18 month appt., she was the same weight as when we went at her 12 month appointment, but she had grown almost 2 inches. The doc said she wasn't very concerned, but did want me to up her daily milk intake to 18-20 ounces, and try to make sure she was getting protein. If, in 2 months she hadn't gained anything, she "might" look into a consult with a nutritionist. I explained that she simply WON'T EAT MEAT. And at that time, we'd gone from eating or at least "trying" everything to a flat out "no" and shaking of the head.
It's getting better and the only comments I've had from people have been very supportive and most, if not all say, "She'll eat when she's hungry." or "If she'll eat pb & j, then give it to her for every meal!"...here's a day in the life of Violet (typically, and I won't commit to this next week because, by then, she'll have changed her tune!):
breakfast: organic cereal bar, organic fruit smush, milk or watered down juicy juice.
lunch: Annies Mac and Cheese, organic fruit smush; Van Kamp's fish sticks or grilled cheese (she's back to eating bread again, instead of scraping the contents off and licking her fingers)
dinner: Dr. Preagers spinach or broccoli bites (this is one of the only ways I can get "green" into her) and she eats the HECK out of them. Handful of craisins or raisins, handful of cashews or pistachio's, or a large scoop of peanut butter.
I think I'd be thrilled if Violet chose a salad over a candybar, or a banana over a candy bar. Violet has this "candy and cookie-meter" like her dad!
I think I'd have to approach whomever is contacting CPS and rip them a new one. It's INCREDIBLY difficult to get children to eat, and making it a battle (no matter how frustrating) can make it so much worse.
Musings from our family in the Bluegrass http://sweetvioletmae.blogspot.com/ |
| msdoolittle |
Posted - Jan 09 2011 : 09:18:20 AM
Dear Angela,
Your first sentence told me all I need to know. It is my utmost belief that people who have never had children need to (how I can politely put this?) BUZZ OFF when it comes to advising others about childrearing. (My blood pressure is rising...must...keep...calm)
I am very sorry that 'Ms. Oleson' down the street feels the need to call CPS. It is true that perhaps she did have a valid concern, and that is fine. I do feel, however, that if she had a concern, she should have come to you first. That is the 'big girl' thing to do, unless, of course, you looked like a 'dangerous' person and I doubt that, lol. Personally, I'd avoid her like the plague, but that's just me because I am very sensitive and nosy people irritate me to no end. Then again, if I knew for a FACT that it was her doing the calling then yes, I would be inclined to say something to her. Such as: "I appreciate the fact that you have concern for my children, but my children are healthy and happy." (I'd have to have my husband with me so that I didn't go off on her, lol) And then walk away with no confrontation.
I have a family member who is EXTREMELY nosy, and while they do not say anything to me, I hear things secondhand which border on insanity. Such as, my 4 year old is obese (she is most certainly NOT) and how my parenting skills are bad. I will refrain from telling you how their parenting 'skills' were, but let's just say they were less than perfect; and that's being extremely generous.
So, anyhoo, I'd still be civil to her, but she doesn't need to know what goes on in your life other than the fact you take great care of your kids.
My first child was a preemie, and she has and always likely will be in the 5th percentile (or less) for her weight. This child is 7 years old and weighs about 41 pounds. However, she is also the smallest in her class, height-wise. I did have a teacher once tell me that she was a picky eater at lunchtime, to which I agreed, and told her that she IS extremely picky. Mainly because, when she stays with her grandmother (her father's mom...he doesn't see her), her grandma feeds her whatever she wants and packs her lunch with nothing but sugar and processed junk. So, I put good healthy things in her lunchbox, the teacher will see those at least, even if my child doesn't eat them. At least they know that I am not denying her any food, right?
Take a deep breath! You are doing fine and doing absolutely nothing wrong. I know that deep down you know that. But I bet that a visit from CPS is pretty un-nerving.
Also, here is something else: I know for a fact that the majority of CPS workers in my county quit after 3 months (or less). After I though about this for a while, I thought that really, probably the best worker WOULD be someone without children, or at least, without small children still at home. Can you imagine seeing an abused child without wanting to beat someone senseless? I can't! So, I am sure that the worker is just going down a checklist to make sure your home is safe and good food is available. I can't imagine being a mother AND being a good CPS caseworker. Not for me.
A final thought: an 8 foot privacy fence sounds like a winner to me! :0D
FarmGirl #1390
www.mylittlecountry.wordpress.com |
| Ingrid |
Posted - Jan 09 2011 : 09:06:27 AM
What does your family doctor say about your toddler? To ease your mind when responding to other people including the case worker, take your daughter to the doctor for a check up and keep a copy of what he has concluded. That way you have specific medical "proof" that you are doing the the best for your daughter. Other things to remember, does she sleep soundly, does she happily play with her toys, that sort of thing that shows she is content. Other than that tell the "well meaning" neighbours etc to buzz off. As for the case worker send her the doctor report to have on file. Hope this helps.
Give thanks to yourself everyday for all the wonderful things you do! |
| Tall Holly |
Posted - Jan 08 2011 : 5:29:19 PM
When I was a child my great aunt who was losing it intellectually walked with her walker to the state police station and told them my mother did not feed my older brother. They came to investigate and saw he was indeed skinny and also foundout that he could eat a whole pizza at a sitting, just skinny. It was very upsetting to mymother.
As for your neighbor a very wise friend told us when you have a cat that is grumpy you need to love them up more. Maybe you should invite the neighbor over for a visit on a regular basis so that she can become a part of the solution instead of the problem.
Holly
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| natesgirl |
Posted - Jan 08 2011 : 4:19:19 PM
I'm 5'5" and my Hubby is 6' even. His mother is 4'11" and his father was 5'9", so he towered over them both. My other 2 girls are tall for their age and both are extreme on the wieght side. One is 105 and 16y/o and the other is 136 and 10y/o, but the 10y/o had a spinal tumor that really messed her up till she was 7 and they found it and removed it. She is losing about 2 or 3 pounds a month now that she can run and stuff like she should. The tumor actually made it hurt for her to walk, run, ride a bike, or anything that involved her legs. Now we can't keep her down! Her latest love is rollerskatin around the kitchen table all day long!
Farmgirl Sister #1438
God - Gardening - Family - Is anything else important? |
| Alee |
Posted - Jan 08 2011 : 3:49:15 PM
Angela- Nora usually focuses on one food at a time too. It is a bit more time intensive, but I find I need to offer her something- even if it's 5 raisins, about every hour or so. Otherwise she does start to run down a bit. Sometimes she goes through phases where she will eat a lot but usually she just grazes.
When I took a psychology class I read about a study where they took several babies that were very young- pre walking (just crawling) and put several baby bottles filled with various substances around the room. Some were filled with milk and other healthy foods, and some were filled with sugary unhealthy foods. The researchers expected the babies to find something that tasted good (ie the bad stuff) and fill up on that. Instead the babies crawled around and sampled all the different bottles. They noted that the babies would drink a certain amount out of each of the healthy bottles and when it was analyzed they found out that the babies had left the unhealthy bottles alone and had consumed a balanced diet out of the others!
So what I took out of reading this study is that left alone, kids know what their bodies need. We can offer variety and quantity, but if they don't like certain foods, there might be a reason.
It sounds like you are doing a great job with you kiddo. Nora is pretty slight too. She was around the same size as your kiddo and wavered between 22 and 26 pounds. The doctors never made a big deal about it and she is 3 foot tall and getting into the 30's now. Her clothes from the stores fit and in the right age group so I don't worry too much. I think as long as your doctor says she is fine- don't worry. Also how tall are you and your husband? She might just be a small petite person.
Alee
Farmgirl Sister #8
www.farmgirlalee.blogspot.com
www.allergyjourneys.blogspot.com
Put your pin on the farmgirl map! www.farmgirlmap.blogspot.com |
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