| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| happydaze |
Posted - Jan 13 2010 : 5:18:34 PM
Would it be too much to expect my grandchilden to acknowledge thier gifts? I have no idea if they liked what I got them for Christmas and birthdays, or if they even know what I got them. Maybe they just tore open the presents and didnt care where it came from.Or maybe my daughters arent teaching them right. At any rate there will be no more gifts from this grandma until they learn some manners. Should I tgell them now, or wait until they notice that they didnt get a gift from me on the next occasion? (end of rant!) |
| 9 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| Kayce |
Posted - Jan 19 2010 : 06:07:14 AM
I think Sonshine4u said it very well and I agree with her. I would just be repeating most of what she said.
This would be a great opportunity for grandma to have fun with them and teach them what todays society has forgotten....manners.
I also dont understand along with sonshine4u that the ones that are sticklers for Thank You notes dont send them to my children or myself when they have recieved something. Manners covers all ages not just children to thier elders.
I'm referring to my own mother. She reminds me all the time that she didnt recieve a thank you note. I let it roll off. Well, when I was growing up not once did she teach me the importance of a thank you note. We never sat down and wrote any together. It wasnt until I was married and out of the house that she started expecting thank you notes from me and then my children. Hmph.
Well thank you, happydaze for your post because I will sure make it a mission of mine to TEACH my children the importance of showing graciousness in recieving a gift.
I believe in getting back to old fashion handwritten correspondence.
I have started PenPals for FarmKids. Sonshine4u there are some waiting to be paired up. Might be something your children would be interested in. Check it out.
Happydaze I understand your frustration...
~Kayce~
Learning to appreciate having a glass..not half full or empty..just thankful for a glass :)
Check out PenPals for FarmKids http://www.maryjanesfarm.org/snitz/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=38599 |
| sonshine4u |
Posted - Jan 18 2010 : 6:43:40 PM
We were just finishing up our thank you notes today for all the Christmas gifts. My kids are 10, 8 and 6. My 6 year old isn't quite through, but she's almost done. It has felt so good to see them do this this year! I know how much I appreciate hearing if someone liked, enjoyed or even received my gift, so this is something that I think is really important!
Now, when they were younger, it was way more of a challenge on my part of remembering to get it all done. I think I was sleep deprived for 6 years and somehow the thank you notes were not very consistent. But, I have been bound and determined to get my kids used to writing thank-yous even if their grandparents take them on an outing!
I think some of the issues with thank-yous is that our culture has forgotten all manners and has become way too relaxed and casual about things. Phone calls, e-mails and the like have cheapened communication in a way. I think that a hand-written piece of mail in the mailbox is so rare anymore!
Some kids were never raised to send thank-yous or at least consistently and some were, but are too lazy or too busy to take the time. I think it is a sad state of our culture if we are too busy to show our gratitude.
As far as what you should do for your grandchildren? Depending on what ages they are, I would first talk to your child that is raising them and suggest that a thank you note from your grandkids would be appreciated. Maybe even encourage them to start writing letters to grandma on a regular basis and you'll write back! What kid doesn't love to get mail!?
The other way to handle it is if you start writing thank you notes to your kids and grand kids for the gifts you've received from them (if you aren't already). It always baffles me when one of my relatives is a stickler for thank yous and we rarely receive any from them when we give them a gift. I don't want to make them out as ungrateful, because I know they are, but I think that our actions do speak louder than words!
I don't think withholding gifts because you didn't get a thank you is the way to deal with that. That seems pretty passive aggressive and more destructive than helpful. I think it's a prime opportunity for teaching thankfulness and gratitude. Otherwise it seems that it would be basing giving with conditions and not because of love or generosity. Life is all about teachable moments. Share with them how it makes someone feel when it doesn't get acknowledged and ask them how it would make them feel if they spent a lot of their time and money preparing something special for someone and they didn't hear any response from that person! Of course don't say it sarcastic like, speak it with gentleness and love!
Okay, that's my 2 cents! I hope it all made sense!
Playing in the Sonshine
http://www.homesteadblogger.com/sonshine4u |
| krissy |
Posted - Jan 15 2010 : 09:42:02 AM
My mother-in-law and father-in-law are in their 80s and expect thank-you notes for gifts. There is nothing wrong in expecting a proper thank you - it's good manners to write them. Even when my kids were too young to write (or write well), I had them dictate to me what they wanted written and I wrote for them, word for word. Now that they are older, I MAKE them write thank you's. For every gift received for whatever the occasion, and to EVERYONE who gave them a gift. My nieces are horrid at this. It bothered me and I stopped sending gifts to them years ago.
**************************************
~Farmgirl Sister #986~
http://lateinlifemommy.blogspot.com/
http://www.youravon.com/kristenparkinson |
| FebruaryViolet |
Posted - Jan 15 2010 : 07:55:18 AM
I'm so glad to know that "thank you" notes are still appreciated. I sent 20 out to family and friends and neighbors for all of the kindness they showed to Violet for her first Christmas. Even her Grandparents that she sees on a weekly basis!
I think it all depends on whether or not this was a custom in your household...now, my mil for one, always sends a "thank you" but her daughter (my sil) does not. I send her children countless Valentines (with Target giftcards) and expensive Christmas gifts (like an American Girl bedset!) with nary a notice. Guess that's because we get an "approved list" of what TO buy, so it's not like it's a surprise to receive something so wonderful.
Musings from our family in the Bluegrass http://sweetvioletmae.blogspot.com/ |
| ddmashayekhi |
Posted - Jan 14 2010 : 2:58:03 PM
I always send a "Thank you" card and have my 3 sons do the same when they receive a gift. I tell them no matter what the gift is, they should always send a thank you to the person who took time out to think of them. Amazingly, my 27 year old and 24 year old sons have kept up with it! My 6 year old son is writing them now and we mailed everyone who gave him a Christmas present a "Thank you".
I feel very strongly that the recipient of a gift should mail a hand written thank you. I am very disappointed in the number of weddings, baby and bridal showers I have been to in the past few years where there was either no thank you or one sent over a year later!
Dawn in IL |
| chaddsgirl |
Posted - Jan 14 2010 : 2:33:33 PM
I am HORRIBLE at remembering to send Thank You cards, though I must admit I'm getting better at it since I've been on this site! However, as bad as I am about sending thank you cards, I am aware of this so I always call the person who sent me a gift and thank them over the phone. It is so important to let people know how much you appreciate them and the things they do for you.
A person is a success if they get up in the morning and get to bed at night and in between does what they want to do. Bob Dylan
Deeperrootsfarm.etsy.com |
| maggie14 |
Posted - Jan 13 2010 : 7:12:57 PM
I'm so sorry ladies that you are going through this. I was tought when I was really little to say Thank you and send a Thank you card when ever I got something. So I always have. So sorry you are going through this.
hugs,
Channah
If you can dream it, and if you are willing to put forth the work and effort, you can have anything you envision. |
| Sarahpauline |
Posted - Jan 13 2010 : 7:11:23 PM
I have a grandmother that doesnt tolerate that behaviour from my kids if I forget or they do. She calls promptly and simply says, "since I didnt receive your thank you note I wanted to make sure you enjoyed your gift." The message comes across, and we dont forget anymore!
Not all those who wander are lost...
www.SarahPauline.com
www.AbraxasBaroque.com |
| Karrieann |
Posted - Jan 13 2010 : 6:04:55 PM
I am in the same kind of boat as you.. but with my own grown children.. grandkids are too young yet to be responsible.... here is my take on the whole thing.... I sent them (my kids) gifts for few years.. no thank yous ever. Then I send cards... no thank yous still. I have thought.. the heck with them and forget sending them anything.... then I came to this decision, I will send cards, minor gift and will keep doing it because someday I hope that they will come to realize this... but I will never give them the opportunity to say to me "You never sent me gifts or cards nor call" I will be able to proudly say... yes I have... and let it go.
When I come face to face with tough decisions, I ask myself "what would Jesus do?"
I wish you well with your situation, it is hurtful not to be thanked or even acknowledged, I understand.
(((HUGS)))
Karrieann ~ Farmgirl Sister #766 (29 Sept 2009)
My etsy: Yesterday's Scraps, Tomorrow's Treasures http://www.etsy.com/shop/2TomorrowsTreasures |
