| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| Choctaw Farm Gal |
Posted - Dec 12 2009 : 07:16:37 AM
Dear farm sisters,
I was thinking about how a positive, caring action or encouraging word from someone can lift our spirits and carry us through to improve ourselves or accomplish the impossible at times. So, I wanted to start a thread to share the most inspiring thing someone has said to carry you through a rough time, a period of self doubt or worry, or just inspire you to do your very best.
I can think of many times in my life when loved one or friend has offered me a kind word or encouragement, but my earliest childhood experience always stands out....
I credit my late Granny who always praised my handwork when I was a child just learning to sew and do patchworking. She made me feel accomplished, like my stitches were the best. My Mother followed her example and always praised my handwork, which allowed me to improve, and made me want to work to improve my skill with a needle and thread, to be worthy of their praise.
I was a young adult before I realized the stitches these two beloved women constantly praised (done by my 3,4,5,6,7-year-old hands)were large, awkward and not the least bit straight ! I'd believed my Granny and Mother all those years, because they were well-known to never lie. But by the time (in my teens) I realized how effective their praise has been, I was earning money sewing for others, making simple quilts, pillows, and clothing.
The power of a positive, encouraging word or action is magical, and oh, so healthy.
This positive approach is one of the things I always find so lovely in Mary Jane's books and magazines.
Do you have an encouraging experience to share?
Nancy
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| 16 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| CountryBorn |
Posted - Dec 18 2009 : 2:47:00 PM
Teresa, you are doing a wonderful job carrying on. Your husband is proud of you I am sure of that. To me it is a wonderful experience reading your stories and rememberances of him. I know exactly what you mean about not being able to say these things to someone in person. When my daughter died and for years after I found it impossible to say too much about her without breaking down. It still happens. Even though I so wanted to talk about her and have other people do so too. So many people won't talk because they don't want to upset you or just plain don't know what to say. My wonderful caring friend Marcia has given me so much encouragement. She has lost a lot of loved ones also. But she loves to talk about them and tell funny or touching stories. She has given me the greatest gift of just being able to be me and say what is in my heart without worrying I am upsetting someone else. I love her so for that. Your writing all this down is such an inspiring idea. I have done that too to a certain extent. But, some of it is just to personal for me to share. I seem to be able to share things here with you girls a lot easier than anywhere else. Believe me that says alot for all of you, I am not one to share with just anyone, My Scorpio nature I believe. I know losing your husband is a special kind of agony, I watched my Grandma grieve over my Grandpa, my heart goes out to you and I admire your strength and courage so much. Thanks again for sharing.
Blessings MJ
There can be no happiness if the things we believe in are different from the things we do. Freya Stark |
| 1badmamawolf |
Posted - Dec 18 2009 : 10:10:06 AM
I think the reason I have been telling my husbands story is #1) I miss him so much, and its just about impossible for me to speak his stories out loud to anyone. When ever I try, I break down and I'm done in for the rest of the day. I have always kept a diary/journel, so I write my feelings and stories in them. I try to write something everyday, even if its just a few words, and I have no problem with anyone reading them, they are not locked away, they are on my little table, next to my rocking chair. #2) I truely hope that my words "might" help someone else with their grief when I post them here on this board. #3 these journels are my legacy to my children and their children and all generations to come.
I have always felt bad for people when they say, " I wish I had written down my Grandparents stories they told" because then when they are gone, the next generations would know them as I did.
"Treat the earth well, it was not given to you by your parents, it was loaned to you by your children" |
| Choctaw Farm Gal |
Posted - Dec 18 2009 : 05:00:48 AM
Teresa,
In response, you are welcome, but again my sincere thanks goes back to you for your willingness to share. The gals who participate on this forum do indeed care and please know that your words are probably helping others who are going through difficulty & dark times too. I can't help think about how often encouragement accompanies difficulty & challenging times. It may be a few days of bumpy troubles that seem larger than life itself - or life's real big difficulties, as you've shared.
But one thing is certain, the smallest kindness, loving word of understanding or genuine rope of strength tossed out can make all the difference in getting through to surviving and knowing what to do next with confidence and comfort that you are doing the best you possibly can. Often, someone's kind or loving words can be another's hope and lifeline long, long after they are spoken. I agree with Marly that your beloved husband is smiling down on you. A beautiful saying that has been shared in many cultures is that "Love is so powerful it transcends even death." I feel that just taking time to think on that is a great comfort in itself.
And Dutchy ~ your tender post and experience with being appreciated for delivering the mail in the bitter cold and snow may seem like a small thing, but it shows how getting or offering any small act of appreciation for a job well done can make one's day better. Our lives all could use a little more kind acts of graciousness and appreciation, however small or simple - for a sincere compliment or word of thanks is so worth giving and receiving....adding such meaningfulness to our lives. And it costs nothing....
And Mary - I share your thanks for everyone's meaningful words and willingness to share....
blessings to all,
~Nancy |
| Bear5 |
Posted - Dec 17 2009 : 7:03:46 PM
Teresa:
Again, your words were beautiful. You do have a gift with words! What a tribute to your husband. One could read the love you have for him. I just know he is smiling down on you. Thanks for sharing such love with all of us.
Marly
"It's only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on earth- and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up- that we will begin to live each day to the fullest, as if it was the only one we had." Elisabeth Kurler-Ross |
| dutchy |
Posted - Dec 17 2009 : 1:41:46 PM
Maybe one very small thing, but today with my gout etc I delivered the mail on foot.
It was snowing very very hard and very VERY cold, windy etc. Not a nice day to deliver mail, duh. Many cities here even didn't deliver mail at all.
Anyways, I put some mail through a ladies door, she opened the door and thanked me! She told me it was very kind and brave of me to still deliver mail, and she just felt she needed to thank me for it.
That was SO sweet and made my (sad, poor me lol) day a little lighter :)
Hugs from Marian/Dutchy, a farmgirl from the Netherlands :)
My personal blog:
http://just-me-a-dutch-girl.blogspot.com/
Almost daily updates on me and mine :)
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| MaryLD |
Posted - Dec 17 2009 : 1:36:24 PM
These are such powerful posts.
Thanks, Nancy, for starting it and to everyone who has written.
Wow Teresa, you are amazing!
~ Mary LD
Texas
Haflingers- You can't have just one!
( I'm just one short of a drill team!) |
| 1badmamawolf |
Posted - Dec 16 2009 : 09:55:35 AM
Nancy, thank you so much for your kind words, its just been this year that I can come up with words for/about the most perfect partner. I don' think I could ever say these words out loud to anyones face, but I find I can say them to ya'll on this wonderful web site. Anyone that has been in my shoes understands where I'm at, and I hope and pray that ya'll will be able to find your own comfort in the dark times, and continue on with your legacy.
"Treat the earth well, it was not given to you by your parents, it was loaned to you by your children" |
| Choctaw Farm Gal |
Posted - Dec 15 2009 : 8:28:25 PM
Dear Teresa,
Giving my humble opinion, I'd say you did just fine at coming up with the right words to share your compelling story and experience - such love and such sorrow and not a word of defeat as you lived forward after losing your hubby. It's been said that love is so strong, it can outlive everything. Only when you've experienced it, does that saying make sense.
Men often think women can do anything and everything, but some never openly express that to the women in their lives - so you were very blessed. I can only imagine how your family relies on your love and encouragement & it's easy to feel your husband was right.
I tend to think that walking in Widow's shoes, being strong-willed, focused on what is important & doing for your family no matter what it takes isn't being onery or stubborn, but rather, is simply being Honorable and Standing Your Ground.
thank you so much for being willing to share your heart-warming and very personal, uplifting, loving story ~
~Nancy
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| 1badmamawolf |
Posted - Dec 15 2009 : 5:58:37 PM
I have been coming back to this thread everyday since it started, not only to read what others have said, but to come up with the right words to put into print for what I believe to be the most encouraging , and at the same time one of the saddest times of my life.
I don't remember the exact day or time, those last weeks are a blur, but, I think it was about 2 weeks before my hubby passed, and he had things he wanted to say to me, and only me. These were not the first of these conversations, nor the last, but I could tell by his eyes, they were very importent . So I crawled up into the hospital bed with him, ( this bed was in the middle of our living room, we could not get it into our bedroom, unless we cut a hole thru the wall from the outside) , layed on my side a faced him, he took my face into his big, ruff, manly hands, and .... I know you have been worried Mama about continueing on with this place, even with Brent (our son), when he gets home from Iraq, d-in-law Leah, and of course our biggest helper; Jeremy our G/son( who was 4 at the time). But I know you...when you love something , you love it so hard, that there is NO WAY it could ever fail,not even a little. I know everything will be fine when I'm gone, and I know you will be too ( I argued that fact with him and lost), and this place will become even better and bigger, and I know cause I WILL BE WATCHING, in his big booming larger than life voice. He said you will go on, and you will continue to be the women/mother and friend that I've always known you to be. He was right you know, as hard as I cry for him sometimes, especialy this time of the year, I am to onrey and stubborn to have it any other way, I will continue to succede, as well as my children and their children will , cause they all have so much of him inside, as well as me too, lol. He encouraged me from the day we met, til the day he died, and I will always thank him for that.
There were other times in my life I was encouraged, by my parents, friends and a teacher or two, but it was better than 34 years of daily encouragement from a man that could never be replaced by anyone, in any shape or form.
"Treat the earth well, it was not given to you by your parents, it was loaned to you by your children" |
| Choctaw Farm Gal |
Posted - Dec 15 2009 : 1:48:45 PM
Hi Marly,
What a lovely story !! Something as simple as a song your dad sang with a 'can-do', "believe in yourself" message had the force to encourage you and stick with to to this day. I've never heard that song, but the words are wonderful !!!!
Your post reminds me of the children's book "The Little Engine That Could"
Anna - your story of your parents sticking with you through thick & thin - what a blessing to have Love you can count on like that! Also that you turned people's negatives toward you into showing everyone they were wrong. Way to go!!!!
What is that saying.??......"Success is the Best Revenge"
~Nancy
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| Bear5 |
Posted - Dec 15 2009 : 1:02:55 PM
When I was in the third grade, all the way up to the 12th grade, I delivered newspapers with my Dad. On Saturday afternoons, and early, early Sunday mornings we were delivering newspapers. My Dad always sang the Rubber Tree Plant song "High Hopes"; "Just what makes that little old ant, think he can move that rubber tree plant. Anyone knows an ant, can't, move a rubber tree plant. But he has High Hopes,..." I constantly asked what the song was about, my Dad would just laugh. He would tell me to listen good to the words. Then, he would tell me there was nothing I couldn't do. It took me a while to put those two things together. I grew up believing I could do anything! To me, my Dad encourage such belief in myself.
Marly
"It's only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on earth- and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up- that we will begin to live each day to the fullest, as if it was the only one we had." Elisabeth Kurler-Ross |
| Choctaw Farm Gal |
Posted - Dec 15 2009 : 07:11:37 AM
Dear Mary,
Yours too is a heart-warming story - an example of the least little thing (typing a few pages!) that someone can do to make a huge difference for another person's life. Following that gentle nudge to help is so important.
I admire anyone who survives being made a widow at such a young age, as you did.
love & blessings to you for sharing ~
~Nancy
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| MaryLD |
Posted - Dec 13 2009 : 10:26:15 PM
When I was 16, I was offered a scholarship to spend a year in Germany as an exchange student. I had the application all filled out, and had hand written the essay that needed to be typed. I couldn't type, and I later found out that it is due to a visual processsing disorder I did not know I had!! My younger sister, age 15, came along and asked about the application, learning from me that I had changed my mind due to the typing. She typed it up for me, and I hand carried it to the mailbox down the road on the eve of the postmark deadline. 6 months later, I had become a semi- finalist and WON!!! A whole year abroad, all expenses paid!
My sister must have felt the hand of God when she made that typing offer. She was ordinarily not so helpful at the time, LOL!
~ Mary LD Texas
On another note, I did receive an incredible amount of encouragement when I was widowed at 36- much of it such a blur that I do not recall it. I do wish to honor those who felt called to reach out to me in my grief.
Haflingers- You can't have just one!
( I'm just one short of a drill team!) |
| Annab |
Posted - Dec 13 2009 : 3:56:16 PM
For me, the best encouragement came from parents who supported me through thick and thin, and a few nay sayers along the way who held no belief in me whatsoever.
Determination and an "I'll show you" attitude have helped keep me focused.
Our rallying cry has been "Non illigitimus carbourndum" which literally means "Don't let the bastards get you down"
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| Choctaw Farm Gal |
Posted - Dec 12 2009 : 08:32:31 AM
Hi Debbie,
That is a beautiful story !
Your post made me think of how at this holiday season of giving, it is often the small, really meaningful gifts we give someone in need of a hopeful word, a fresh perspective, or a positive-based reality check that can be the gift that makes a healthy difference in someone's life that will be remembered for years to come.
thank you for sharing!
~Nancy
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| bushelnpeck |
Posted - Dec 12 2009 : 08:21:18 AM
I am looking forward to the stories that will come on this thread thankyou for starting it...I do have a story, when I began a new job my friend gave me a card with a gossling perched to jump into a dishpan with water in it and on the inside she had written that though I felt like it was the ocean I was jumping into, it really wasn't and I held onto that whenever I felt overwhelmed in whatever I was trying to learn. It sooooo helped me keep perspective and I will be forever grateful for her wisdom at such a hard time in my life...Debbie
duty makes us do things, but love, makes us do things beautifully... |
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