| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| bramble |
Posted - Aug 24 2005 : 11:26:50 AM
This topic came up on Clare's thread about personal space and I thought it could stand on it's own.
Do you like massage? Why? Why not?
I am affectionate by nature but always aware of people who are uncomfortable. My mother in law once joked that they needed me because as Presbyterians they are the "frozen chosen" and not very affectionate! How bizarre thought I , only to realize through the years that she wasn't kidding! Thank goodness my husband susbscribes to a different philosophy!
I never had a massage until I was 40 and that was a surprise. A friend and her sister told me we were going out to dinner for my birthday. We first had a stop to make and I came to find out that they had made appointments for all of us. I didn't know which one of them to strangle first but I sat there and asked myself what was I so afraid of . They had both been to this massage therapist before and assured me I would like her. At first it was alittle awkward but I have to tell you when I got off that table it was the first time in 2 years I was not in pain. I now go as often as time and the budget allow ( about 4-6 times a year) but wish I could go weekly it is so helpful. I didn't think I would ever like it but I am now a convert!
As for touch... if anyone is making you uncomfortable with it; it's not welcome, period. Luckily, I can think of so many times that it is healing, helpful, loving and caring that I would hope that's what my lot in life is to be; filled with caring, loving hands that reach out to me and I to them in so many different ways.A child's hand slipped into mine , a friends hug after a long journey, my husband's arm across the small of my back when we dance like people who have been together a long time and like it, the bear hugs my son now delivers as he meets me eye to eye, or the elderly persons hand that trust me to steady us both. It's in the giving that we receive so much more,
I'm glad I wasn't afraid to find that out or I'd be missing out on all the very best things.
with a happy heart |
| 24 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| Park Avenue |
Posted - Aug 30 2005 : 06:05:36 AM
Hi Melissa,
I'm a doula also, and like you not a touchy person. But massages are different. But it all boils down to respect for comfort zones, and finding out where boundries are.
Michele |
| verbina |
Posted - Aug 29 2005 : 6:05:02 PM
to all you farm girls that do massage im here in south jersey .i LOVE a good massage, i have not had one in a few years.sure do miss them. randi |
| LadyCrystal |
Posted - Aug 29 2005 : 2:19:44 PM
I love massages,Facials,manicure,and pedicures.I am a licensed Hairstylist.So I was spoiled when I worked in the salon i would trade with the girls I work with.I miss those days.I still do hair but on the side.
Alicia
Follow your dreams |
| sqrl |
Posted - Aug 29 2005 : 10:54:39 AM
I would not consider myself a touchy-feely person by I do love message, it is a wonderful experience and when you go to a professional they are trained to understand different peoples comfort zones. When I was studying to be a Doula I have to take message classes and the number one thing they taught over and over was to respect comfort zones. I love to give them and exspecaily love to recieve them. But it's funny I'm not really a touchy-feely kind of person.
Blessed Be
www.sqrlbee.com www.sisterhood.sqrlbee.com
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| Aunt Jenny |
Posted - Aug 28 2005 : 5:19:37 PM
hey Kay...I think a hand massage I could handle! Never even heard of that..and my nails don't get much care at all...
Jenny in Utah
The best things in life arn't things |
| Jana |
Posted - Aug 28 2005 : 09:38:06 AM
I LOVE massage therapy, when I can afford it! I don't think we get enough NON-sexual touch in our society, and that, I believe, is where massage therapy comes in. I use it for my fibromyalgia and a lymphatic drain. I come home, totally wiped out. Spend the rest of the day relaxing and drinking water or herbal tea. WONDERFUL! Hmmmm.....time to make that appointment...
Jana |
| Clare |
Posted - Aug 27 2005 : 10:04:18 AM
Sounds like it's a go for us girls. We'll have to coordinate where to have this farmgirl spa experience take place! Too fun!
**** Love is the great work - though every heart is first an apprentice. - Hafiz
Set a high value on spontaneous kindness. - Samuel Johnson****
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| therusticcottage |
Posted - Aug 27 2005 : 09:42:29 AM
I'll do the manicures and hand massages!! I used to do that for a living!
"If you are lucky enough to have a garden, you are lucky enough!" |
| Park Avenue |
Posted - Aug 27 2005 : 06:57:53 AM
I love massage, but only if i feel truely comfortable with who is doing it. I think there is a big difference between relaxation and theraputic massage. I usually only go, when I am already knotted up. So I have a theraputic massage, and I will be so sore the next day, then by the second day i will feel wonderful. I have also gotten almost sick from massages. My massage therapist told me to drink lots of water, as that is all the toxins that have been released from the tissue and stirred up, and the need to be flushed out.
On the rare occassion when I have a relaxation massage....a treat for myself, I feel wonderful the next day, but they are not as hard and not as intense as when I am already sore and need to have some knots worked out.
Michele |
| cecelia |
Posted - Aug 25 2005 : 4:58:32 PM
I just started going for massages due to back & neck problems; chiropractors were no help at all, even made things worse. I have only been going once a month, but it does help. I had a massage, as a gift, about 13 yrs. ago and didn't like it at all - I was so sore the next day I could hardly move. I guess it depends on who is doing the massage.
Cecelia
ce's farm
"Curiosity is one of the forms of feminine bravery" Victor Hugo |
| Kim |
Posted - Aug 25 2005 : 08:20:37 AM
Clare,
I'll be your test body! I think I need to have my chakras aligned but when I look at books on the subject, I just don't graps what I need to do. Same with feng shue.
farmgirl@heart
Be at peace with yourself and the rest will follow |
| Clare |
Posted - Aug 24 2005 : 7:54:22 PM
Oh Meadowlark... that cracked me up! I was hysterical with laughter for a couple minutes there!   Think I've recovered now! Yes, I know what you mean, and no I have not purchased any of those kits with the rocks and heater and all.
As far as energy and chakra balancing, I have taken classes and work with my own body but do not feel qualified to clear or balance others. There's alot of personal responsiblility involved in that, in my opinion. It was such a dream of mine for several years... doing the whole healing package thing, but life hasn't taken me down that path.. yet. Maybe it will be right some day.
Wouldn't it be lovely if Paula J could make the trip? We all know she's qualified in many of these healing areas.
**** Love is the great work - though every heart is first an apprentice. - Hafiz
Set a high value on spontaneous kindness. - Samuel Johnson****
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| MeadowLark |
Posted - Aug 24 2005 : 6:55:24 PM
Clare, Do you do the hot rocks ( I know that sounds bad but I mean real rocks) or the crystals aligned on chackras?
Being is what it is. Jean Paul Sartre |
| Clare |
Posted - Aug 24 2005 : 6:49:40 PM
Susan, just to clarify, I'm not a professional LMT. I have done my own self study, so not completely in the dark, and can give a decent muscle relaxing body or head massage. Consider yourself signed up!
Jenny, sounds like we've got the makings of a spa day!!! Does anyone do manicures? 
**** Love is the great work - though every heart is first an apprentice. - Hafiz
Set a high value on spontaneous kindness. - Samuel Johnson****
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| Aunt Jenny |
Posted - Aug 24 2005 : 6:47:29 PM
I think it is neat that you recognize it Lynn...so many people have children who shouldn't. I wonder why it dosn't bother me at all for kids to touch me but I don't like most people to touch me. My family (not my parents so much but my aunts and grandmas) were big huggers and it never bothers me at all when someone hugs me if it is a woman or someone I know well..I don't tense up then..it is more just touching for some reason. I wish I knew why..weird huh?
My husband is way more kissy huggy than I am but I think he is used to me the way I am. I AM affectionate...just not mushy I guess. I try to be better about it..don't want the kids to be this way. I dont' have a problem playing with hair and love to do braids and stuff in long hair. Hey, while Clare is massaging (or after actually or before) I can do hair..haha.
I am glad I am not the very only one...but I do wish I could get over it a little. Not with those space invaders..but with normal people..haha
Jenny in Utah
The best things in life arn't things |
| greyghost |
Posted - Aug 24 2005 : 6:28:11 PM
I am not a touchy-feely person either. I do like massages since they help with my back pain - but I never really relax. My massage therapist says I'll get better at relaxing over time - but I'm not so sure. I'm not a terribly trusting person, I have a hard time with hugs or touchy-feely people. I just prefer my distance.
I have no problem massaging someone's shoulders or playing with their hair though (has to be someone I've known a while though), and if it's someone I know well I don't mind if they do the same.
Aunt Jenny, I know I am not destined to have kids. I don't like kids touching me! On some level I know they need it and I should feel blessed that a child wants to hug me or hold my hand, and I am careful not to give any sign that I mind but... it's just hard for me. My mother doesn't like it either, and neither does my grandmother, so I suppose it's heredetary. It turns out neither of them would have kids if they could have helped it. |
| atwell |
Posted - Aug 24 2005 : 6:13:43 PM
Clare!!
sign me up for the massage table exchange.....Its been sooooo long since I have had a real professional one!!!Hands down its one of those things on the top five list of best ever experiences!!!
!!!!!
susan
FatQuarterQuiltFarm
Long Arm Machine
Quilting ~and~
Fabric Flea Market |
| thehouseminder |
Posted - Aug 24 2005 : 5:49:40 PM
I think most of you read my comments on the other thread.
I love massages but they come from a person I would, and do, trust with my life. I happen to know that the first thing she does in the morning is pray that her labors will be a blessing to someone that day and they definitely are!
In reading the comments here, it occurred to me that most people have a healthy sense of whether they can touch you or not and what kind of touch is appropriate. I think sometimes people who do not have a healthy sense of self are the "space invaders".
In my "real" job, I am a jeweler and I work in an environment unique to the industry. We are by appointment and sometimes make housecalls. When I am helping our customers, I am touching their hands, necks, arms, ears, sometimes even toes. I have learned coping skills for this since they expect to be touched in a situation where I would shy away if I were them. 
It can also be cultural. I did my undergraduate work in Texas but I'm from a farming community in Iowa full of resolute and stoic farmers. My first job in college was at a flower shop. Imagine my horror when my first day at work, my boss, Aggie, threw her arms around me and hugged me!! I had to get used to it because I got hugged every day I went to work, sometimes it was my boss, sometimes a coworker. That's just the way they were - it was quickly clear that they weren't "mashers" just truly delighted to see me. The same thing happened every time I would go to friends houses, If that's the worse thing that ever happens to me in a work environment.....
Lucinda
Who loves a garden still his Eden keeps, Perennial pleasures plants, and wholesome harvest reaps. ---Bronson Alcott
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| MeadowLark |
Posted - Aug 24 2005 : 5:01:30 PM
Clare, I am up for it!! It is a surrender isn't it? I'll bring some of my homemade grapeseed body scrub!
Being is what it is. Jean Paul Sartre |
| Whimsy_girl |
Posted - Aug 24 2005 : 4:59:12 PM
I feel uncomfortable at the beginning of a massage but with one exception where the massuse managed to spill parrifin wax all over the place while trying to dip my hands while I was already on the table, I am always asleep by the end of them.
I can't afford to get them that often, but when I do I usually really need it.
you can be oh so smart, or you can be oh so positive. I wasted a lot of time being smart I prefer being positive. |
| Clare |
Posted - Aug 24 2005 : 2:01:48 PM
Bright Idea Time! I can bring my massage table to FarmFair. For those that are interested we could trade massages.... have a total spa farmgirl experience!!! Guess that's trusting big time, ain't it?
**** Love is the great work - though every heart is first an apprentice. - Hafiz
Set a high value on spontaneous kindness. - Samuel Johnson****
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| therusticcottage |
Posted - Aug 24 2005 : 1:56:24 PM
I am a very touch feely person. However, I am also one who respects other's space and I like to have my space respected. I try to be very tuned in to people before I touch or hug them. It is very easy to tell when someone doesn't want to be touched. When it came time for my first massage I wasn't real sure if I wanted my space invaded like that by a stranger. Now I'm hooked. Massage is the most wonderful thing a person can do for themselves -- a complete relaxation of mind and body. Gee -- I wish could have one right now!
"If you are lucky enough to have a garden, you are lucky enough!" |
| Kim |
Posted - Aug 24 2005 : 11:48:39 AM
I am a touchy feely person. My whole family is that way. But I get the "danger ranger" feeling around certain people and refrain from being touchy with them.
farmgirl@heart
Be at peace with yourself and the rest will follow |
| Aunt Jenny |
Posted - Aug 24 2005 : 11:37:53 AM
I have said in the other thread that I am a person not interested in massage....it makes me cringe to think of it. I don't like being touched alot..but on the other hand I never ever feel that way about kids touching me at all. I guess it is mostly people I dont know who are aggressively "touchy" that are hard for me. I enjoy hugs but rarely initiate them..except with my kids and husband...I am not a huggy kissy person by nature though. Touch is very important to several of my children and I think it is to alot of people..I wish I were more comfortable with that. I remember going to get a "good" haircut years ago to a man recomended by my best friend..he did wonderful cuts and my friend warned me ahead of time that he always did a scalp massage thing that most people love, but she knew I would not. I am not nervy enough to say anything..just cringed until he was done...and never went back. It was a good haircut too. I wish I could just relax sometimes.
Jenny in Utah
The best things in life arn't things |
