| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| Carrie W |
Posted - Jul 01 2009 : 10:55:50 PM
In the past couple of weeks I have been blessed by a dozen or more of life's little moments, the kind that give me butterfly feelings in my stomach just because I feel so excited by the natural world. I got to watch several wild birds enjoying my birdbath, took in the smell of a fresh bale of hay in the back of my Blazer, saw a fox dash across the road in front of me, wathed my daughter pick peas in the garden and eat them on the spot, noticed everything "green up" after a heavy rainfall, and felt sunshine on my skin remind me how very much alive I am. These things make tears come to my eyes and I just feel so very RICH!
I've been packing and getting ready to head out to Farm Fair on Friday and feeling so fortunate to be able to attend. My head and heart have been floating as I anticipate this weekend, and then I get a call from one of my sons that my oldest son is in a crisis situation, and all of a sudden my feet are firmly planted on the earth again.
There was time when this sort of "reality check" would have made me crash. I didn't used to believe that a person could experience both pain and joy at the same time, as though "good" and "bad" could not co-exist in life. No wonder I was constantly dissatisfied.
I am learning, however, that satisfaction in life comes from accepting this very truth...that "good" and "bad" DO co-exist in life, and are in fact the very fabric of life. How could I fully appreciate the joys that come my way if I do not from time to time sink down into the sorrows as well?? How can I understand the concept of "gain" if I do not once in a while experience "loss"? Are we fully alive if we never taste the bitterness of death?
This one crisis has brought about in me both feelings of heaviness and gratitude. This seems to be contradictory, but while I am broken in my heart to see my child suffer, I am also very, very thankful that I still get to wrap my arms around him, kiss him on the cheek, and whisper in his ear "I love you".
And I got to hear him whisper, "I love you, too, Mom."
Carrie M
www.totallykadeshfarm.blogspot.com
Farmgirl Sisterhood #147
Tis better to weep at joy than to joy at weeping--Shakespeare, Much Ado About Nothing |
| 5 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| laurzgot |
Posted - Jul 02 2009 : 3:32:00 PM
Carrie, I'm glad that you wrote what you did. I guess God was telling me to talk to my friends at MJ's
Yes it's very hard but God knows what you can handle. Thanks for listening to me it sure does help.
Be thankful for what you have.
Laurie
suburban countrygirl at heart |
| Carrie W |
Posted - Jul 02 2009 : 09:52:46 AM
Laurie-
I guess you understand this much better than I do. I am so thankful to still have my son. I CANNOT imagine losing someone close to me...it is my biggest fear. I am so sorry for you to have to let go of two siblings, and for your mom, too, to lose two children. I have to just hold onto the belief that God will give me the necessary grace to get through whatever He calls me to.
And in the meantime, we just practice embracing ALL of it.
Thank you, Laurie, Amy and Sherri...I needed to write this and I am so glad we can touch each other lives in this small way!
Carrie
www.totallykadeshfarm.blogspot.com
Farmgirl Sisterhood #147
Tis better to weep at joy than to joy at weeping--Shakespeare, Much Ado About Nothing |
| laurzgot |
Posted - Jul 02 2009 : 08:46:08 AM
Carrie, This is so true. Joy and happiness along with pain and sorrow do co-excist. I know this so well. Last year one mother's day my mom called early morning and told me that my younger brother had been killed by a drunk driver and ten months after that my younger sister died of a cancer that come on all of a sudden and she only lived for 2 months and never left the hospital. Carrie my prayers are with you and your son. Hope that everything will be alright.
Laurie
suburban countrygirl at heart |
| graciegreeneyes |
Posted - Jul 02 2009 : 07:59:20 AM
Thank you for that reminder Carrie - you put that so well, that joy and pain have to coexist in a life, that's what it's all about. It is something so easy to lose track of too.
Amy Grace
Farmgirl #224
"use it up, wear it out, make it do, or do without"
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| mikesgirl |
Posted - Jul 01 2009 : 11:12:16 PM
Wow Carrie - I really need to hear that. I've had a lot of sorrow with my boys in the last couple of months and have experienced the "crash" that you spoke of. I also have struggled with the notion that joy and pain could not coexist. I am going to save your post to remind myself of the lesson you have learned - it's also very valuable to me. Thank you for posting this!!
Farmgirl Sister #98
Visit my online store at:
http://www.shopthefrontier.com/VFstore/index.php?manufacturers_id=79&osCsid=6be4b25bf9555031c6e2e86bbde23dba |
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