| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| Libbie |
Posted - Apr 09 2006 : 6:20:31 PM
I was thinking about home and farm safety again today - as I had just read that agriculture is very dangerous for children, in particular - and about the concept of a physical, mental and emotional "safe zone."
Growing up, for the most part, that was what my home was - safe. I knew that there were people there who would NOT hurt me, and who would tell and show me the best they knew. I also knew that I would not be allowed to do things with an obvious large physical risk.
My husband works in a youth shelter and he sees children who are not as fortunate as I was, and who never knew what a safety net "home" could be - either physical or mental/emotional. This is so sad to me. Having a little boy, and another on the way, I so want to create a home/farm that is SAFE - and I mean safe in the most broad sense - safe from harmful chemicals, safe from hurtful words and actions, safe from scary machinery (or at least unsupervised machinery), safe from scary dreams...
That's what Home Safe Home means to me. I have concentrated so much on the physicalities of safety at home and on the farm, and didn't really much stop to think about the importance of that FEELING of being safe and sound when you walk in the door or through the front gate...
XOXO, Libbie
"Nothing is worth more than this day." - Goethe |
| 11 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| Libbie |
Posted - Jul 09 2006 : 6:30:54 PM
Oh, Kate - after meeting you and seeing your sweet personality and loving ways, I just know that your children feel just what you want for them - loved, safe, protected, comfortable...
What lucky little ones they are to live in a "home safe home" and what a strong person you are to be able to provide that - for them and for yourself. It's so important sometimes to make our own homes the "homes we go to" as you said.
I'm so happy that we were able to meet in person - and I can't wait to see you again!
XOXO, Libbie
"Nothing is worth more than this day." - Goethe |
| katiedid |
Posted - Jul 08 2006 : 08:37:17 AM
Libbie
This is something I have been thinking of so much lately!
It is so sad for me, but my parents bought the family home, that my Dad was raised in. But this was also the home that I was sexually abused in, whenever we could come to visit his parents. They didn't know it at the time they bought the home, but when I told them what had happened to me, and that living where all the abuse happened was so hard, they made the decision to stay... they live in this home still. I cannot spend the night in my parents house without nightmares. I don't have a "home to go to" so to speak. Now that I am grown, and have a home of my own, I SO want my kids to feel safe. To have the haven, the shelter from the storm.
Nothing happened to me while my parents lived there, as my grandparents had passed away, but the memories, they haunted me as a teenager, and they still do. So many horrible things happened to me within those walls, I don't know if I will ever feel "safe" there.
As a mother I want my kids to feel loved, safe, protected, comfortable, all the things the word "home" should be.
Thanks for listening, and for the free therapy!
I owe you one, Libbie,
love
Kate |
| coconutcakes |
Posted - Apr 19 2006 : 11:23:35 AM
I think "Home Safe Home" also includes adventure. . . a safe, place to adventure (without all the outside traps and tricks that can hurt us and our children, esp. our children). Safe Home encompasses many things, but I think it includes some land, a small bit of woods even, a field, somewhere outside, fresh air, and a place where we and our children can get closer to nature without worries of child predators and the like as well as all the other ill aspects of cultural society today. It's somewhere our children (or us) are safe to go alone or with a friend to build a fort, play in the dirt, and explore bugs and flowers. . . Today, there's been placed a stigma on kids even playing outside (that it's not safe) to the point many parents and their kids are more comfortable living in more dangerous (to our physical and emotional states) spots. . . in front of the TV, the computer, and constantly driving about in our vehicles. . . I could express more of my opinion, but I really like Richard Louv's book,_Last Child in the Woods_, that expresses the important need for our children (and us) to have a home safe home in nature.
I hope this makes sense. Sorry if it doesn't!
Emily
"After a long period abroad nothing could make me more homesick or emotional than an American magazine ad of a luscious layer cake, except one, and that was a pictured lemon pie." Irma Rombauer, Joy of Cooking (1943) |
| Libbie |
Posted - Apr 18 2006 : 8:17:35 PM
That's such a great idea - including people who may not frequently know the meaning of "home safe home" in family events. I'm going to start, for sure. I love reading about your ideas and homes - thank you. I always want my boys to know that they have the backing of a strong, safe and secure household. I grew up with that, and wow, having children sure does make you want it for the whole world, doesn't it?
XOXO, Libbie
"Nothing is worth more than this day." - Goethe |
| Nancy Gartenman |
Posted - Apr 18 2006 : 4:00:15 PM
Just knowing that someone is always there for you, There are so many that seem to have no home base, its very sad and leads to so many problems. You just want everyone to have a safe haven and feel loved. We can all do a small part by inviting someone over for a family event that we know doesn't have a solid home base or is away from family.
NANCY JO |
| blueroses |
Posted - Apr 18 2006 : 11:48:55 AM
You ladies have all expressed your sentiments so beautifully. You would think that being a mother and protecting our children would just come naturally, but my heart breaks for those children that don't have the safety and comfort of a safe home. My girls are in their early twenties, but I've always told them that we are a family and we have to take care of each other and that they always can come home no matter what. From the time they were born, I tell them that I love them every day, cuz my mom grew up in a different kind of home and she never told me she loved me til the day I was married and moving away. I know now that she did love me, but it would've been nice to hear it or feel it. Sorry - I'm rambling. I just always wanted my kids to know through my actions and words that they were loved and to make a safe haven for them.
"You cannot find peace...by avoiding life."
Virginia Woolfe |
| Libbie |
Posted - Apr 15 2006 : 07:40:02 AM
I think of this place as a sort of personal "home safe home," too! A haven and shelter are things that everyone needs in this world, and lucky are our little ones who can come by this more easily than most.
Along the lines of physical safety, my little one yesterday came up to me with a very yucky look on his face and said, "Mama, did you know that soap doesn't taste so good?" I asked him which soap, and he said, the white one by the bathtub (so I know it's not harmful), and had to try not to laugh as I seriuosly said, "I'm sure it doesn't. That's why we don't eat things that aren't food." Well, as luck would have it, his response? "Jelly beans are food. Let's eat those, then." We had just been to the town easter egg hunt on Wednesday and I've been parceling out treats for him....
XOXO, Libbie
"Nothing is worth more than this day." - Goethe |
| happymama58 |
Posted - Apr 10 2006 : 09:32:08 AM
The word that has always come to my mind as to what I want our home to be is a haven, so Jenny and Michele's use of shelter is something that rings true with me, too. It's shelter from so many things that we encounter out in the world. My home will not ever be fancy, but I want my loved ones and anyone who enters my home to feel a sense of shelter and love, and all that comes with those things.
Not to hijack that thread, but it just hit me that that is exactly what I find here. I know we're talking about our physical home in this thread, but this is like a cyber-home for many of us. I could never understand people who would talk about their online friends as if they lived next door, but after only a few short weeks here, I now what they were talking about all along!
Some people search for happiness; others create it.
http://happymama58.typepad.com/my_weblog/ |
| Aunt Jenny |
Posted - Apr 10 2006 : 07:36:16 AM
I think that is perfect....a shelter from the storm..that is exactly how I want my kids to feel.
My four youngest kids all came from less than idea (way less) situations before we adopted them and have had to adjust to a safe, consistant, ordinary home...I think they really appreciate it. Even my rules about our home (inside) not being a place to yell, scream, fight or make alot of ugly noise..happy noise is fine...they expect and love it now. I have even heard my youngest tell a friend that we don't run and scream inside our house..that is for outside.
Safty is another thing I feel strongly about too. I know too many people who have kids who get hurt mainly because it never occurs to them to tell their children WHY there is a rule about certain things. I try really hard to explain the WHY of a rule to the kids.I think it really helps. As gentle and sweet as Mona is my kids are not allowed into her pen EVER unless I am in with them and in control. If a ball goes in her pen they arn't allowed to just climb the fence and get it...but if I am out there they are allowed to totally kiss and hug Mona. I don't take chances. I am very aware of any strangers too..my kids have been through enough..I don't take chances with overnight sleepovers with friends or my kids playing at friend's homes if I don't know the family well. I am more likely to have a yard full of kids HERE instead of my kids off at someone else's house.
Jenny in Utah
Inside me there is a skinny woman crying to get out...but I can usually shut her up with cookies
http://www.auntjennysworld.blogspot.com/ visit my little online shop at www.auntjenny.etsy.com |
| westernhorse51 |
Posted - Apr 10 2006 : 06:56:35 AM
For me its a place to come "home" to where you can block out all the junk. I would always tell my daughter especially when she was younger, no matter what happens out there (school, frieds etc.) you can come home to peace, quiet and tranquility. I always tried to make home a place of "LOVE" no questions asked if thats what they want for awhile. Make a cup of tea and just love them.
Now that shes older(15 ) she always tells me she loves coming home and how she loves that it is always the shelter from the storm. My God, when she says that my eyes well -up and I think If I never did another thing right in my life, at least with the grace of God, I did that right.
she selects wool and flax and works with eager hands Prov.31:13 |
| sonflowergurl |
Posted - Apr 10 2006 : 06:20:04 AM
I think the "feeling" of safety in a home is feeling safe to be who you are without having to put on an act, that's the most important thing to me for my kids. I want them to feel comfortable being themselves without feeling like they'll be judged for not meeting my expectations of who they should be. (They have to meet my expectations for their behavior, but I mean in a broader sense I guess.)
I never felt unsafe growing up on our farm, but then you hear stories of things happening to other people and realize how one small decision can be dangerous. (Like the kid who broke both legs when he fell off the tractor and the back tire rolled over him, or the toddler who was accidentally run over by a parent because he was playing outside and they didn't see him, or the guy who lost a finger because his wedding ring got caught on something when he jumped off of the combine, or my uncle who lost half of his foot in a grain auger while working at the local elevator, or my cousin whose horse's saddle was loose and she ended up with severe head injuries when it slid as the horse was running through a gate and she hit the fence post....yeah, growing up on a farm can be dangerous, and I probably did a lot of stupid things that could've been dangerous too--like shooting my .22 in the wrong direction and bullets zinging through the trees where my dad was working, but I wouldn't trade it for anything!) I think you've just got to constantly be aware of your surroundings, no matter if you're in the country or not, and make the best decisions you can. Your children should feel safe, but not through ignorance, teach them of the dangers and to always be aware of how they can do something more safely. "Expect the unexpected" was what I was always taught, and I think of that in terms of safety in my life too. Be smart and savvy about safety issues and teach them the reality of the dangers of living on a farm, without scaring them.
Okay, this got long, sorry! LOL
Katee
The end will justify the pain it took to get us here.
"Looking Toward the Son"---- http://sonflowergirl731.blogspot.com
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