| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| naturemaiden |
Posted - Sep 28 2014 : 04:39:24 AM
My family and I are SO heartbroken. One of our beagles, Daisy, died in my husband's arms yesterday morning. Daisy had been having health issues for a while and in august was seen for breathing issues by the doctor who said she likely didn’t have a year left. Even in august she was having bouts of not being able to walk straight one day and be fine the next. we didnt know what it was. Since that August visit Daisy had become fussy over what she'd eat. At times she'd accept chicken over her dog food, so we figured she was just becoming picky.
Over the past few days she's been falling, not able to walk straight. It's been scary. We decided to take her to the vet friday because she couldn’t walk at all, her breathing was worse. The vet said she'd only have days left. The vet said she was in heart failure, had fluid building up and having mini strokes. Turns out these stroke were happening since august, but we didnt know. I told him that I wanted to take her home so the family could say their goodbyes. We planned on bringing Daisy back the next day, Saturday morning, to be put to sleep.
Then the unexpected happened, yesterday as we prepared to take her to the vet …..i mean the moment my husband was about to place Daisy into our car yesterday morning , she started to cry out, and it was evident that she was actually dying at that moment! My husband sat down on the front stoop with her and she continued to gasp, cry and make horrible sounds. I will never forget it. Then she died! It was about 8:10am. We took her to the vet anyways to be cremated. Our other dog Oliver was there so he knew she passed, he was sniffing her face. Between us all being hysterical on our front steps, i wonder what the neighbors were thinking.
This is our first experience with seeing a dog die. My whole family is devastated. As traumatic as this experience was, I'm glad she died in my husband's arms than in the corner of the room alone. We were not looking forward to the procedure of putting her down either, so maybe it was a blessing it happened this way. who knows.
We adopted Daisy in 2006 from our local shelter. We never knew her actual age because she was found as a stray, likely from a hunting pack, like most beagles. they estimated her age in 2006 to be about 5 yrs. Daisy was obviously abused and 6 mos later we adopted another beagle, Oliver, to be her companion. Oliver & Daisy were like 2 peas in a pod. It was a blessing. Daisy brought much love and laughter to our lives.
Friday, before we even took Daisy to the vet, I had to run errands for an hr or so. When I got home, Daisy was standing at the door to greet me!
Then i took her outside to help her go to the bathroom, she collapsed, and couldn't get back up. My husband just happened to call not even 2 minutes after i got home and i was hysterical and said something was very wrong. He came home and we took her to the vet within the next 45 minutes, and were told she was dying! I think it's amazing that even though she was that sick she was able to stand at the door to greet me one last time.
I would like to share some pics with you all of Daisy's last full day Sept 26, 2014…
We wanted Daisy to breathe the fresh air and feel the sunshine one last time,so we took her outside under the shade of the tree. (we had to carry her outside on her bed at this point)
my husband Bobby spending some time with Daisy, she was no longer able to get up at this point....
Daisy just resting in the dappled sunshine.
My son Joe with her...and Oliver
My son Andrew with Daisy..and Oliver.
I spent Daisy's last evening with her outdoors, Sept 26th, with the birds singing, wrapped up like the baby girl she is to me. I wanted to comfort and show her how much we loved her. Daisy loved being outside.
I know it will take time to overcome this but it's SO hard. I had to remove her bed because I cant bear to see certain items of hers, it's so painful. I just held her pillow last night because it smells of her. I've been crying since friday morning. I am going to try and stay busy today. My poor husband has his moments of breaking down...he was the one who selected her when we went to the shelter to adopt a dog years back. How terrible for him to be the one to have held her as she actually died. My husband told me that he actually prayed that she would die in his arms, rather than us putting her down. Though the vet said she didnt have long, and we know putting her down was best for her, we had a hope that maybe something could of been done, and i think we would of felt some guilt wondering that had we actually put her down. maybe it was a blessing in disguise. I dont know. My older son was punching things he was so upset, and my younger son is quiet, like he's holding it inside.
How do you cope with this?
Thank you for allowing me to vent, i know this was long.
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| 25 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| hoosiercountry |
Posted - Dec 25 2014 : 10:01:31 AM
Dear Connie, Just saw this post and the tears running down my face are with you on your loss. I said goodbye to my Fred in Sept., he was only 6years old. He had cancer, at first we were not going to do anything and then after a few weeks decided lets try. He had one surgery and within a month the tumor was back and bigger than before the surgery. We did talk about chemo and its so very costly that we kept him comfortable for as long as we could, when that day came he let me know it was time. I to had times where I got mad at him that now I wish I could take back. I have yet to fill in the deep hole he dug just to lay in, it has gotten better with time. I held him as he went and would have not wanted it any other way. I am not yet ready to get another dog, but some day, for there are so many that need homes. They give so much and ask so little in return. My heart and prayers are with you and your family. Hugs Karla |
| Terralea |
Posted - Dec 22 2014 : 11:44:43 AM
Oh Connie. I just saw this. I have been through this myself and I can't tell you how I ache for you and your family.
Terralea |
| star-schipp |
Posted - Dec 22 2014 : 04:46:02 AM
Connie,
Thank you for this post. I am so sorry for your loss. Our pug, Sparky, died this year and I so understand. Even though it has been three months, I forget and still expect to see him at the door when I come in. He especially always like to come to the chicken coop and would get so excited when I would get the egg basket. My heart goes out to you and your family and I'm sending prayers for healing and for wonderful memories of Daisy.
If you can't feed one hundred people, then just feed one. -Mother Teresa
Star - farmgirl sister #1927
Estle Schipp Farm: Celebrate the Hobby Farm Lifestyle
http://EstleSchippFarm.blogspot.com
https://youngliving.org/starschipp
Master Food Preserver
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| naturemaiden |
Posted - Dec 21 2014 : 6:58:32 PM
Dena I am sorry for your loss.It must have been hard for your son. Its amazing how pets can touch our lives. I still cry over Daisy. Our other dog Oliver has not been the same since Daisy died. In fact he has been limping for a couple of days. not sure what it is..maybe arthritis or a sprain. looks like a trip to the vet is due again. of course we are paranoid now with Oliver..to make sure we dont miss anything so he doesnt needlessly suffer as Daisy did. looking back we couldnt of done anything different with Daisy..we took her to the vet whenever she was sick..but it was the vet who messed up and she suffered for it. in fact the vet told me that most people wouldnt have done everything that we had...yet he dropped the ball. it is hard going back to that office.
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| dena91 |
Posted - Dec 21 2014 : 6:44:05 PM
Connie, Just saw this; looks like it has been revived. I wanted to share that our rabbit of 10 years, Pepper, died the exact same way just a year ago. She was my son's rabbit and the vet said that she may die any day. He was caring for her one night and she had a violent seizure in his arms and she was gone. Thank God I was upstairs getting ready for bed because she made those same noises as your Daisy. Must have been soooo hard to watch. Its so hard that our pets just don't live very long lives and yet we get so attached to them! Hope the good memories are starting to replace the grief.
Hugs,
Dena
Farmgirl 5620 |
| csmartyonline |
Posted - Dec 20 2014 : 03:23:41 AM
I just saw this. What a beautiful tribute to a special friend. She looks like she was always smiling ... even at the end. |
| naturemaiden |
Posted - Oct 09 2014 : 07:05:50 AM
Sharon, the eagle story brought me to tears. Funny you mention a monarch garden. I just ordered seed earlier this morning for various milkweed seed I will plant this Fall to encourage more monarchs in my garden. I will check out that website.
Well I have more errands to run,
Thank you so much Sharon. I don't know what I'd do without the support of all you farmgirls :) You are all a blessing in my life!
Connie
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| Calicogirl |
Posted - Oct 09 2014 : 07:00:09 AM
Connie,
Please don't feel guilty about anything, don't let those thoughts stay with you it will only keep you from healing. Daisy had a wonderful life with a family that loved her very much. You did what you could for her. I would try not to question the doctor or treatment and move forward.
How beautiful that the Lord showed you the Monarchs :) Not silly at all. When my dog Tirzah passed 2 years ago I had the most difficult time. I would sit on the floor where her bed was and just cry until I couldn't cry anymore. We can't have children so our dogs are our kids. I was washing dishes one morning while thinking about her and I saw an eagle fly overhead while looking out the kitchen window. My thoughts immediately when to a scripture verse in Isaiah:
Yet those who wait for the LORD Will gain new strength; They will mount up with wings like eagles, They will run and not get tired, They will walk and not become weary. Isaiah 40:31 NASB
It was a blessing that gave me peace in my heart.
A side note: Have you considered having a Certified Monarch Butterfly Garden? Maybe you could start one in Daisy's memory. Here is a link with more information:
http://monarchwatch.org
I know that the Lord will heal your heart and bring you peace Connie, hang in there :)
Farmgirl Sister #5392
By His Grace, For His Glory
~Sharon
http://amerryheartjournal.blogspot.com/
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| naturemaiden |
Posted - Oct 09 2014 : 06:30:32 AM
Thanks girls. I just had to go to the vet to pickup meds for my other dog, and of course i cried. We expect to go back Saturday to pick her up, as we had a private cremation for her. Not looking forward to that. I try to stay as busy as possible, otherwise I keep thinking of her. Yesterday I got so angry and broke down so bad, thinking back to the august vet visit when i told the doctor she collapsed then. The doctor is a great doctor, but i couldnt help thinking that MAYBE he could of gave her meds for her heart (now knowing she died from congestive heart failure), and meds for the fluid buildup she had, which I thought was her liver (as it had been before in response to taking prednisone). I did a lot of reading yesterday about congestive heart failure and flipped out at the even possibility that she could have been given something in august for it. Maybe she was too far gone. I don't know. Though the doctor told me that her living another year "would be pushing it", if he thought on August 15th that she'd die 6 weeks later, I wish he would of told us that. I hate to question anything the doctor did, but I can't help feeling that maybe something else could of been done? Or is this a normal part of grieving?
I also have been having incredible guilt for the times i took Daisy for granted. The times i got agitated because she wouldnt eat. I thought she was being picky, when in reality I didnt know the dying process had begun. The times she peed on the carpet, or the times I didnt spend. Dont get me wrong, Daisy got a lot of love from all of us, but at times I was irritable and sometimes yelled at the dogs for things that had nothing to do with them. I suppose we all might do that on some level at some point. and yet these animals love us no matter what. I am so crushed. To think that the day before she died, how she was standing at the front door to greet me when i got home, but as soon as I got her outside 2 minutes later (i carried her), she collapsed and would never get up again. That amazes me.
When my husband carried her outside to try and pee and he held her up, how she wagged her little tail as if to thank him for assisting her. I've questioned my faith a lot in my life, finding it hard to believe in anything. but the events of that friday (the day before she died), how they all played out....my husband had just called minutes after i got home (he recently got rid of his cell, so he called from the work #). Daisy had just collapsed and we got her to the vet right away. Had he not called, I may not have called his job. We likely never would of got her to the vet and she simply would of died alone in her bed the next morning, alone.
The way everything happened was as if we were given an opportunity to say goodbye. Those last pictures mean so much to us all. Even her dying in my husbands arms, as traumatic as it was, I'm glad she didn't die alone in the corner of the room.
This might seem silly, but yesterday as I was having a meltdown questioning the actions of the doctor in august, i was sitting outside in the same spot when i held her last. I happened to look up at the butterfly bush and saw a monarch butterfly. I went from hysterical to calm almost immediately. It was only days before when i stood at the kitchen window, thinking about Daisy, when i looked out and saw a monarch butterfly then. Last year we had a lot of butterflies, but this year, if i think i've only seen about 5 in all. Last year, on one particular day alone, I had seen 6 at once on the bush. So i suppose I am finding this coincidence comforting on some level. (because i absolutely love monarchs).
So, point being, maybe i should stop questioning what i believe, because it seems in my life i've been given opportunities that seemed only a higher being could have had a part of. Still, I wish my Daisy were here.
Thanks for your support, HUGS
http://www.naturemaiden.com/ Handcrafted Soap & Candles
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| Calicogirl |
Posted - Oct 09 2014 : 03:34:23 AM
Dear Connie,
I am so sorry for our loss of sweet Daisy. Pets make such a way into our hearts and are so faithful and loving. I know from experience how hard this is for you and your family, it will get easier as time goes on. I am praying for comfort and healing of your hearts.
Farmgirl Sister #5392
By His Grace, For His Glory
~Sharon
http://amerryheartjournal.blogspot.com/
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| levisgrammy |
Posted - Oct 08 2014 : 5:10:40 PM
Connie,
So sorry for your loss of your sweet Daisy. These fur babies just work there way into our hearts and there they stay forever. Take time to grieve just as you would any loss. Such precious memories you have with her. I sure she loved you as much as you loved her. It will take a long time to get over your loss and don't think twice about that. We who are animal lovers can understand all the pain and sorrow you are feeling. We are here for you.
hugs,
~Denise~
Farmgirl Sister #43
"Thy Word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path." Psalm 119:105
http://www.ladybugsandlilacs.blogspot.com/
http://www.torisgram.etsy.com |
| naturemaiden |
Posted - Oct 08 2014 : 2:30:07 PM
Thank you Marly, I broke down so bad today. It all seems unreal.
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| Bear5 |
Posted - Oct 08 2014 : 2:08:10 PM
Connie, I am so sorry for your loss. Beautiful pictures. Hugs
Marly
"It's only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on earth- and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up- that we will begin to live each day to the fullest, as if it was the only one we had." Elisabeth Kurler-Ross |
| cajungal |
Posted - Oct 01 2014 : 08:13:37 AM
Connie, your Daisy was so Blessed to have y'all as her family. It is so immensely apparent of y'all's love for her in the pictures.
I'm sure y'all felt Blessed to have her.
Praying for your comfort this morning.
One of the best compliments from one of my daughters: "Moma, you smell good...like dirt." |
| naturemaiden |
Posted - Oct 01 2014 : 06:27:00 AM
Thanks girls. My other dog, Oliver made a strange noise 'howl' this morning. Of course my husband and I jumped up of course to see if he was alright, which he seemed to be. Then he did it again just within the past 1/2 hr. I did some researching and maybe he is vocalizing his mourning? The other day I let Ollie smell a sample of Daisy's hair we kept (for a memorial collage will be do doing), and he sniffed it and kissed my hand twice. It was so sweet, but sad. As Kathyrn had mentioned, there are times when I expect to see Daisy in certain places, it's a strange but sad feeling.
Thank you all so much, It means so much to me. I knew losing Daisy would hurt a lot, but i didn't know how actually traumatizing it would actually be. Her last cries and whimpers and gasping is haunting the hell out of me. But all in all I'm glad she didn't go through it alone.
Bless you all
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http://modern-day-laura.blogspot.com/ Filled with everything I love!
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| texdane |
Posted - Oct 01 2014 : 06:08:25 AM
Oh Connie. This brought tears to my eyes. (And I agree, we farmsisters are crying with you). I know how you feel...I've been there before.
How blessed your fur-baby was to have you all as a family. She knew she was loved, and I think she wanted to die at home. We have had a dog and a cat both die at home, unexpectedly from old age. We've taken our other pets to the vet to be put down, and we both feel it was better for them, more peaceful, when it happened at home (though sometimes it is truly necessary for the pet). Either way, it is hard, very hard.
Kathryn, you brought more tears to my eyes with your comment...beautiful, just beautiful.
We recently lost one of the sweetest kitties you could ever imagine, at twenty. I still forget sometimes that he is gone, like when it is the time I used to feed him. They all certainly leave paw prints on our hearts, don't they? I am so very sorry for your loss, Connie.
It sounds as if your pup was loved so very, very much.
Sending big hugs and warm thoughts and prayers to your family.
Much love,
Nicole
Farmgirl Sister #1155
KNITTER, JAM-MAKER AND MOM EXTRAORDINAIRE
Chapter Leader, Connecticut Simpler Life Sisters
Farmgirl of the Month, January 2013
Suburban Farmgirl Blogger
http://sfgblog.maryjanesfarm.org/ |
| wooliespinner |
Posted - Sep 30 2014 : 4:30:08 PM
I am so sorry for your loss Connie. I wish I had the words to ease your pain. I have been there so many times with my sweet pets. Your Daisy knows you loved her and I hope as the days go by you remember the good times with her. Big hug to you and your family. You are all in my prayers.
Linda
Raspberry Run Farm
Nubian Dairy Goats |
| magnoliakathy |
Posted - Sep 29 2014 : 06:09:48 AM
All my heartfelt sympathy to you and your family. Time will ease the pain and the memories become sweeter. You will look for her, call her name, and realize she is gone, but my grandfather said when you do this, that is your loved one touching your heart and telling you she is okay. My Pheets (feets) has been gone these 13 years and sometimes I turn around expecting him to be there, but then I just say "thank you sweet boy, I needed some puppy love" and then I see him in my minds eye, walking away from me, with that tail straight up and that bouncy trot of his, on to another adventure.
When you free your mind your heart can fly. Farmgirl # 714, |
| nubidane |
Posted - Sep 28 2014 : 7:57:30 PM
Oh Connie! Don't know what to say except, you can see it in their eyes.. They are ready to go to the Rainbow Bridge http://www.rainbowbridge.com/Poem.htm
Your sweet Daisy knows you loved her, and she loves you. So sad, but you were a pet's blessing, to have her, love her, and know when it was time for her to go.
What a sweet girl..
"We must reject the idea that every time a law’s broken, society is guilty rather than the lawbreaker. It is time to restore the American precept that each individual is accountable for his actions.” – R.R. |
| HealingTouch |
Posted - Sep 28 2014 : 7:15:44 PM
Connie
I am so sorry. Tears here too! I have a 14 year old beagle that is blind from glaucoma and I give her drops 4 times a day to keep the pressure down. We raise beagles but she will be our last inside dog and I can't bear the thought. We have gone through the process so many times in our life and I can't bear it again. Your love for Daisy will never go away and you can take comfort in knowing you saved her and gave her a wonderful life. How sweet she was. Peace and blessings dear sister.
Be Blessed and Be a Blessing,
Darlene
Sister 1922
God first, everything else after!
When Satan's knocking at your door, just say "Jesus will you get that for me?"
When it gets to hard to stand, Kneel!
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| naturemaiden |
Posted - Sep 28 2014 : 07:20:21 AM
Thank you all, this sisterhood is such a blessing for me
http://www.naturemaiden.com/ Handcrafted Soap & Candles
http://saratoga-rose.blogspot.com/ My published books & other writing.
http://modern-day-laura.blogspot.com/ Filled with everything I love!
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| Ninibini |
Posted - Sep 28 2014 : 06:58:35 AM
Oh, Connie... I'm so, so sorry... We just went through this in July, although our girl made it to the vets. Of course, reading your story about Daisy brought it all back, and I am crying for and with you. Nothing, NOTHING can prepare a heart for this, and the memories of their passing are so heartbreaking. I still haven't brought myself to clean out her cookie jar and put it away. It's so hard, I know. But in time, the good memories - the funny, sweet memories - will flood in and wipe away the tears. There is not a day that goes by that we don't think of our dear old girl, and talk about her; sometimes through tears, but more times with smiles and laughter, and always with the most reverent, grateful love. Oh, to have been so loved by such a wonderful, amazing creature! She was SUCH a blessing. And I'm sure Daisy was the same for you. There will be a time when your hearts will not ache quite so badly, and then it will get easier. It's just like they say, the love never dies, and they live on in our hearts. It's a beautiful thing. It will get better, it will. Aren't we just so grateful to have had such wonderful, loving experiences with our dog babies? I am sure, SURE we are all better people because of them! :) I will keep you, your family and Ollie in my prayers, sister. God bless you! Hugs - Nini
Farmgirl Sister #1974
God gave us two hands... one to help ourselves, and one to help others!
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| YellowRose |
Posted - Sep 28 2014 : 06:46:49 AM
Connie, you didn't make us cry - we cried with you - that's what sisters do.
Sara
Walk in Peace - Live with Joy
FarmGirl Sister #6034 Aug 25, 2014 |
| naturemaiden |
Posted - Sep 28 2014 : 06:42:26 AM
the sad thing too, early yesterday morning we took her outside to see if she had to use the bathroom, my husband carried her outside and held her up. even though she didnt 'go', she wagged her little tail, as if to thank us for helping her. animals are amazing.
http://www.naturemaiden.com/ Handcrafted Soap & Candles
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http://modern-day-laura.blogspot.com/ Filled with everything I love!
http://www.thriftyfarmgirl.com/ Vintage Sewing Machine Parts
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| naturemaiden |
Posted - Sep 28 2014 : 06:39:58 AM
thank you girls. Ollie is so jealous i dont think getting another dog is something any of us are ready for, for a long time. i am working on rearranging a few things today because i cant look at particular places where she slept, etc. when we get her ashes back we will have a shrine for her. thank you for your support. i didnt mean to make anyone cry
http://www.naturemaiden.com/ Handcrafted Soap & Candles
http://saratoga-rose.blogspot.com/ My published books & other writing.
http://modern-day-laura.blogspot.com/ Filled with everything I love!
http://www.thriftyfarmgirl.com/ Vintage Sewing Machine Parts
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