| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| goneriding |
Posted - Jun 23 2012 : 03:31:09 AM
Let me start out saying, other than my two Dachsies, I've always had cowdogs who wouldn't dream of chasing my horse or taking on another dog without really good reason. So, I'm out of my league here...
Hubby's friend, who is staying with us til his place is ready, showed up with a part Pit, part Staffordshire Terrier. I didn't know he had her, just showed up with her. She seemed pretty sweet and minded like a charm.
Long story short, Dog went after my horse the other day, the for the second time. The first time was only a second, I yelled at her and she looked genuinely sorry. I had a funny feeling then but ignored it. Then, a few days later, I was walking back from the mailbox, looked up and saw her right on the heels of my galloping horse. I yelled to get her, I'd kill her if she hurt him. My horse is fine but was rattled for quite a while. Scratches on his shoulder but no other marks. Not sure where the scratches came from. I laid the law down about keeping an eye on her. She didn't get her butt beat because he's mostly disabled and just sternly yelled at her. No big consequences. He did keep her under his eyeball for a few days then started to relax.
Yesterday, my tiniest Dachsie and Dog were close together by the water bowl. It was right outside the bathroom door. I had the door shut and heard my Dachsie yelping. I flung the bath door open to find her cowering and Dog walking away with her hackles up.
Friend was on the phone about his new place and we couldn't tell him what happened. I told hubby I wanted her out because I have the feeling she's starting to think our house is HER house. The next time it might be me or hubby. Hubby said he'd tell Friend, then Friend said he'd keep a better eyeball on her.
Dog is about the only other thing in Friend's life. That's why I haven't insisted on her going. But, after yesterday, I have a bad feeling about Dog. So, we're up to three times she's done stuff and never had a hand laid on her. She's big, about 60-65 lbs. Solid as a rock.
Actually, I'm kinda worried about Friend with this dog, in the back of my mind.
So, while I think I know what to say and do, I need some back-up. I'm not being unreasonable about a dog like this, am I?? I've never dealt with this kind, nor do I want to. I would never have a dog like this. Any advice or ANYthing??
My website: http://antlersantiqueswindchimes.weebly.com
|
| 24 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| rough start farmgirl |
Posted - Jul 02 2012 : 04:23:13 AM
Winona,
That was quite an adventure in having a house guest. All couples have those issues about putting the wrong person first, I think. As long as you can talk/yell about it and you feel you are heard and not ignored, I think you should just expect better treatment next time. Marriage is such a learning experience. I have been learning for 27 years ...
Enjoy having the rule of your home back!! So glad it all turned out right for you. And your animals.
Marianne |
| crittergranny |
Posted - Jun 25 2012 : 3:52:30 PM
Well you managed to protect your critters from any harm. No guilt no regrets it is what it is. You tried and youre not perfect and you am what you am/
Laura
Horse poor in the boonies.
www.nmbarrelhorses.com |
| MagnoliaWhisper |
Posted - Jun 25 2012 : 07:30:41 AM
Well as they say you teach people how to treat you. I've been very upfront with my DH from the get go, he's gotten into some pickles with me too. But, I pretty much just had to say....you left your mother and your father, and are now my DH....I come first...it took a while and some reminders, but now it's funny 12 years in, and now he just shakes his head when others don't put their mate above every one else. And says he doesn't understand it.....I just hold my tongue, and don't remind him of our beginning and me having to have some spirited chats with him! lol
http://www.heathersprairie.blogspot.com |
| Alee |
Posted - Jun 25 2012 : 05:42:37 AM
Winona- I had to laugh at your description. Sometimes Doug and I are like that. We have a big blow up and get everything out in the open and then we are okay and actually can get back to being on our normal routine because we feel like we got our issues cleared. I am sorry it took such a big argument- but I am glad his friend decided to go to his new place. And I am really really glad that your horse didn't get injured by the dog!
Alee
Farmgirl Sister #8
www.farmgirlalee.blogspot.com
www.allergyjourneys.blogspot.com
[url=http://www.TickerFactory.com/weight-loss/wff7Xpc/]
[/url]
|
| goneriding |
Posted - Jun 24 2012 : 10:59:14 PM
Well, a lot has happened today!! Friend just up and moved his stuff to his new house. No heat, no bedclothes, no nothing. I didn't notice he was gone till I looked out and saw his rig was missing!! I thought he was just packing his rig, readying it for the actual move. Not even a goodbye.
Then, hubby and I had a VERY spirited discussion of all that went wrong. About the dog, Friend, ignoring me, the whole works. I'm pretty sure neighbors for miles around could hear us. He knew Friend was bringing a dog but didn't know it was a Pit mix. He didn't know much about them either. Now, he does. He and Friend have been buddies for way before hubby ever knew me. He and ex-wife were friends with Friend and his deceased wife. They've always been really tight. We have stayed at Friend's house for several days and all was fine.
The most important thing, whenever anyone wants to stay with us while looking for a place or even just visiting for a while, there is now a list of things to ask and double-check with each other before the go-ahead is given. Things the visitor needs to know, what can be done, what can't be done. Things we never thought of, or at least I never did. I assumed everyone was on the same page and didn't get too far into details. Now, I know to be my usual self and be nit-picky. And, yes, we even went over family stuff, just to keep that in view.
Nothing like clearing the air with a good old-fashioned loud argument and cuss words flying around. Very cathartic. I can say, with 95% certainty, this situation won't happen again. The other 5%, well, yeah, it could. It won't though, not if I have anything to say about it.
My website: http://antlersantiqueswindchimes.weebly.com
|
| MagnoliaWhisper |
Posted - Jun 24 2012 : 3:01:11 PM
yes I would be having a talk with him as well....it is very odd that a friend is more important then his wife. Like was said he is holding something over your dh, or something very very odd....I probably would ask if he is in love with this friend or something, I don't know....
http://www.heathersprairie.blogspot.com |
| batznthebelfry |
Posted - Jun 24 2012 : 11:44:35 AM
oh dear hen I am so sorry you are in this situation with the 'friend' dog & now hubby........What a slap in the face you have had the last few days...& bless your heart for trying to do the right thing with your animals...i hate to say this but I sure understand what you are going thur about wife/hubby coming first...I found out year ago I don't even make the top 3...military, civilian job & friends came before me...what a big shock for me to have to deal with & extremely painful to boot.....i also have his family who he will defend over me so thats another touchy subject...he has decided since I am older than him I can fight my own battles which always hurts when he is there in body but not in mind or spirit with me over something....Please please take your hubby to the barn or somewhere & find out now what is going on that your hubby would back this guy over you....it could be that important as this guy sonds like he could cause such a wedge in your marriage & you need to know why now before it is too late.....
I know that sounds bad but honey I am afraid for you over this...not that you would get hit or anything but something emotional is going on with hubby & you need to find out now......what hold does this guy have over your hubby.
As for the dog it sounds like the guy will do this with the leash ect until he thinks you will forget or not notice so I would tell him next time you are calling the dog catcher if that dog is anywhere near the barn or horses.......& then you do it hell or high water & have that dog taken...if he has to pay to get the dog out he may change his mind on letting it go if he thinks its going to be taken each time he lets it loose....yeah that sounds really mean from me but I know from experience what people will think they can get away with & you know if that dog injures that horse he will not pay for it or have it put down for you or even pay for a new horse...he will have some excuse about how sorry he is & he just turned for a second & the dog was gone, ect,ect,ect....
As for the cold front in the house at the moment instead of letting it get to you...turn it on the guys...pretend you are so enjoying the peace & quiet & how wonderful it is for you to feel so comfortable with all the quietness & calmness around you....By doing this they no longer have the control of you & your emotions...& I am sure you know 'boys' can stay mad & moody for a long time & drag everyone down with them if they want to.....you show them they can't do this to you.....that does not mean you are forgetting what is occurring but you go on with what you are doing as if no one is around watching you...laugh at your pets, play, enjoy the fresh air...dance in the yard if you feel like it but don't carry this pain you are going thur at the moment....
I know from what you write you so love your hubby & are pained & hurt by his actions...don't let him do this to you while this guy is here......it only reinforces his power over you to his friend & thats a big no-no......You know where you stand with this so called friend & you are more than allowed to feel & respond to his actions as you see fit...even if you have to stand alone...but never let this man or anyone else come in & claim your home as their own as he is doing with his dog & his actions...yeah easier said than done I do understand this.......I know you are an artist so create instead of worry or feel pain...take that pain & create something so you can let go of it...thats what I do...it may not be something you would sell but you have something physical in front of you that shows your pain instead of inside you......Just know whatever you are going thur you have MJ hens standing next to you in spirit & in heart so you are not truly alone in this...xoxo....Michele'
Chickens RULE!
hen #2622
theoldbatzfarm.blogspot.com |
| goneriding |
Posted - Jun 24 2012 : 08:30:24 AM
Thanks to everyone, again. I think I may have deeper problems than I have ever thought with hubby. I don't really care if Friend is annoyed/mad at me, or not. But, just thinking about how he sided up against me...well, that goes way deeper. We've already been through the cr*p with his family and I thought it was clear who comes first. He comes first with me. Looks kind of like I was semi-deluded, sad to say. Maybe I wanted to believe I would finally be first, appears it may not be the case. So, basically, when it comes to marriage stuff, don't listen to me! Seems I still have some rose colored glasses!! :-(
As for the Friend and dog, so far, this morning at this time, they haven't come out of the bedroom. Hubby went downstairs without saying a word. I did figure out, when Friend came out yesterday 'looking' for Dog, he already knew she was at the barn. His bedroom has a window which faces the barn and my horse and Dog could be seen. When I went outside to check on my horse, he came out 'looking' for her...he already knew, I suspect.
So, yep, it seems I have deeper problems than I wanted to acknowledge. *sigh*
My website: http://antlersantiqueswindchimes.weebly.com
|
| Alee |
Posted - Jun 24 2012 : 06:49:12 AM
I think you are right to be concerned Winona- while I love them, and I think the majority of the breed are sweet, some "pit bulls" are dangerous. They do have a strong prey/protection drive, and are bred to have very strong muscles- especially in their jaw. Their are numerous stories of horses being taken down by only one or two pits, and a single dog can do enough damage that a horse can be seriously injured. And if not injured by the dog- running through fences or even being panicked can cause it's own danger.
I sincerely hope this dog would not take it that far, but the friend is staying on your property and if he can't follow a "leash on at all times in the house and out of the house" then I agree- either the dog gets boarded or he goes to stay elsewhere.
Alee
Farmgirl Sister #8
www.farmgirlalee.blogspot.com
www.allergyjourneys.blogspot.com
[url=http://www.TickerFactory.com/weight-loss/wff7Xpc/]
[/url]
|
| goneriding |
Posted - Jun 23 2012 : 9:02:49 PM
Thank you! Thank you!! I've been upstairs, with my dachsies since almost my last post. We only have one bathroom, on the ground floor, so I had to finally go to the bathroom. For once, Friend nor Dog are in my favorite chair AND Dog is on a leash, in the house! You can cut the tension with a knife but I'm past caring. I'm still pretty ticked off. Hubby seems to be kind of shrinking into the background. That sounds horridable (I can't seem to spell that correctly) but I know in the back of his mind, he knows he backed the wrong horse this time. Now he doesn't quite know how to get out of it. I can't get over he didn't back me up. Which then, ticks me off further...round robin. If we had another bedroom, or the 5th wheel were set up, hubby would be in it tonight. I'm that ticked.
Again, thanks to everyone. If not hubby, I have you girls (said affectionately!!) to have my six!!
My website: http://antlersantiqueswindchimes.weebly.com
|
| crittergranny |
Posted - Jun 23 2012 : 8:31:12 PM
We had a fellow staying on our place a few years ago and he had an unruly young husky that would go after my chickens and stuff. He was supposed to keep him tied because the yard wouldn't contain him either. He lived in a cabin on our place. But he didn't do it. He would let him go when we left or any other time he thought he could get away with it. At the time I had a chow cross that had a high predator instinct and I had worked hard for years to train her to behave. I told this guy that if he let his dog run it would ruin my dog but he wouldn't listen. I would look out the window and see him drive by with both dogs in the back of the truck on his way to the mailbox where he would let them both out to run and chase whatever they wanted. If it hadn't been the middle of winter I would have hauled the guy and his dog to town and dumped them both. GRRRR...I was very preoccupied with taking care of my dying Daddy at the time. Well it did ruin my dog. She became aggressive with the chickens and the goats. It got so bad that I had to keep her tied and if I let her go she would immediately go off into the woods and kill fawns. Then she even started getting aggressive to my other dogs. The guy and his dog were long gone and I was left with this problem. I tried to find a home for my dog in the city but wasn't able to and we just finally had to put her down. I had her for 7 years and this guy and his dog ruined her. The idiot doesn't even have a clue. Pit bulls can be great dogs but this guy staying with you is clearly out of his league by owning one. I know people that have been killed by them. It happens all the time in our state. A couple of months ago a guy's pit bull killed his elderly father when he was at work. It doesn't take much for them to kill a child. I'm sorry hubby hasn't been on board, but stand your ground and get it out of there. Better to just go ahead and be the heavy for a while than for everyone to admit you were right after something or someone is dead. Many dogs just do not make ranch dogs, just a fact. Hugs and prayers.
Laura
Horse poor in the boonies.
www.nmbarrelhorses.com |
| oldbittyhen |
Posted - Jun 23 2012 : 7:26:00 PM
winona, pull up the rescue I mentioned and have friend read all the differant stories, along with Tia would be the first one to say, some dogs CAN NOT be around other animals at all, she does major home checks, and makes damn sure everyone in the family will be safe, (2 and 4 legged), she also has pits at her rescue that will never be adopted out for various reasons, hr needs to understand that he is allowing , what could be a TNT in the middle of a forest fire, I will be one of the first that will say, you can't save them all, and sometimes the best result for all, includeing the dog is euthanasia, on that note, I also believe that this dog should be given a chance with someone who knows what they are doing, cause even if she could be saved, does not mean at your house, or anyone elses that have other animals...god luck
"Knowlege is knowing that a tomato is a fruit, Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad" |
| MagnoliaWhisper |
Posted - Jun 23 2012 : 7:11:59 PM
Just thought of something....my MIL told me a story a long time ago. Her niece (my FILs brothers daughter) was living with them when she was about 18 years old, one day she was very disrespectful to my MIL, MIL told FIL about it, and he just acted like she was exaggerating etc. She told FIL he had two choices, the niece and FIL go live with his mother which she had already called and told to get a couple of rooms ready! Or pay for MIL to go stay at a hotel while him and niece lived in the house. lol FIL decided real quick niece was gonna be the one to be leaving. lol
http://www.heathersprairie.blogspot.com |
| MagnoliaWhisper |
Posted - Jun 23 2012 : 7:08:55 PM
I think you and hubby better go to dinner alone soon, seems to me you need to lay down what a hubby's job is. I don't care if you were being ridiculous (which for the record you are NOT) he should always be on your side, you should be above friends, family, etc. I don't understand men who don't get this...but I would be seriously talking to him about such. That dog needs to go elsewhere....why are you some kind of foster parents for this friend? He's a grown up...he can find other place for his pet, till his house is ready!
http://www.heathersprairie.blogspot.com |
| machick |
Posted - Jun 23 2012 : 5:41:23 PM
Be sure to keep your dachsies away too. This dog is trying to establish its territory in what it thinks is its new home. Let it know it is stepping out of bounds and she should settle down. I hope so for all of you. Good Luck
May your bobbins always be full!!! |
| goneriding |
Posted - Jun 23 2012 : 5:00:00 PM
I don't know whether to cry or what. A few minutes ago, Friend couldn't find Dog, he'd let her out. I went around to the barn...yep, there she was, my horse walking away quickly, Dog making tracks quickly the other way. I checked my horse, he wasn't hot so I interrupted something about to happen. I came un-frikkin'-glued on Friend. He got mad. Now, here's the good part, hubby is mad at me for going off on Friend. Friend had promised he'd keep her by his side. Nope, didn't do it. I told him what I knew about prey animals and dogs not raised around livestock, etc. from above. He said Dog wasn't like that. She was really a sweetheart.
I'm trying to keep her from escalating, she already seems to think it's her house. Even my dachsies are making wide circles around her. They know something.
Honestly, I see this as protecting hubby and me, my horse and sweet dachsies. If I were anyone else, she'd been gone by now! I was trying to give the benefit of the doubt!
What hurts the most is hubby mad at me. Taking Friend's 'side'. I don't think hubby has ever seen what a dog can do to a horse. Guessing if Dog went after my dachsies, there wouldn't be anything left.
Thanks for letting me whine and vent a bit. I'm upstairs with Pepsi and potato chips, have my TV and computer. I intend to stay here for a while to cool off.
My website: http://antlersantiqueswindchimes.weebly.com
|
| oldbittyhen |
Posted - Jun 23 2012 : 3:20:19 PM
winona, the rescue I am most familiar with is "Villa Lobos", who was pretty close to me, they moved last year to New Orleans, it is run by Tia Torres, a great lady, and her story is a program that is run on "animal planet" called "Pitbulls and Paroles", her motto is, "I will continue to rescue and educate, with the hope that someday, it will no longer be nessacery". Check her out, she has a web site...pitbulls actually are not a true breed, they are not reconized by the AKC, but staffordshire terriers and staffordshire bull terriers are... google pitbull heros, and you will find a website that has a lot of stories about pits that have protected people (sometimes total strangers), and some have given their lives to do so...I do believe that most of the people who have pits, shouldn't, but then again, most people should not own any kind of animal, and YES they are dogs that are not fixable, and that comes in all breeds...FYI, female pits usually have large teats, even when they never have had pups, its a comman trait...
"Knowlege is knowing that a tomato is a fruit, Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad" |
| goneriding |
Posted - Jun 23 2012 : 2:22:22 PM
I had to look up Pit Bulls and Staffordshire Terriers early this morning, to see what they are. A friend of mine, in CA, (Tina, you may know her, her initials are CW) rescues these and other similar breeds. A friend of our has a massive Pit who my tiny Dachsie adores. So, no, I'm not really going after her breed(s), but there is something there, under the surface that I have a bad feeling about. Since he's never laid a hand on her or made an effort, that I have seen to put her on a short leash (symbolically) and she's escalating, which I have not seen in a cowdog or my babies, there is something more going on. Whether it's genetics or lack of training, I'm suspecting both. Not to sound condescending, but there are good and bad in all breeds. The breeds I love and have been involved with, haven't ever done such as she has. As I said above, I'm out of my league here.
Hubby and Friend are out shooting and she is with them. Hubby called to check on me (I'm not feeling the best lately) and I relayed the above posts to him. Hubby said Friend is just going to have to have her by his side at all times. I'm down with that one...
My website: http://antlersantiqueswindchimes.weebly.com
|
| oldbittyhen |
Posted - Jun 23 2012 : 1:49:12 PM
any dog that is not raised with livestock, is a danger to livestock, and when said livestock is a flight animal, said dog will most likely chase...with that being said, I hope the breed is not being blamed, its the owners responsibility to train and control their dog, spay and neuter them, etc...I have always had pitbulls, and have never had one "TURN" or show any aggression towards anyone or other animals and I have livestock and other dogs and cats...my little female pit is the one who is caring for the pup that was found on my land, and she is the sweetest dog ever, I have grown kids and grandkids who are safer with her, than most other peoples dogs, she has gone to show and tell with my grandson, and she also has a good dog certificate, she is the poster child of how a pit should be and a true nannydog, as all of my pits have been... I hope your friend does right by her, and if he can't, there are many good pitbull rescues out there that will help...
"Knowlege is knowing that a tomato is a fruit, Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad" |
| goneriding |
Posted - Jun 23 2012 : 11:15:50 AM
Thank you!! Thanks for confirming what I thought I knew, I just wasn't sure. This AM, Friend and I had a chat about her. I came down the stairs, only to find her ensconced in my favorite chair. I got her outta there pronto, all the while keeping a leery eye on her. Friend says she's never done this before. I kinda think she has, personally. She's over two years old and looks like she might have already had a litter of pups. He doesn't know for sure about the litter. He said his house won't be ready till July 3. Oh, it's gonna have to be quicker than that...
Really, it's true... "No good deed goes unpunished". Sheesh....
Honestly, once when I stayed with some friends, while hubby went hunting, I made sure my babies didn't intrude in any way in my friends' home. My babies got tired of being kept up in the bedroom, so, I went to a motel for the duration. I explained to my friend I wasn't mad, hoped they weren't but the dog thing wasn't working out in their home. She's a dog trainer and thought/thinks I'm too lenient with my dogs. Prolly so, but, it works for us. So, to maintain order, I went to a motel and problem solved.
My website: http://antlersantiqueswindchimes.weebly.com
|
| batznthebelfry |
Posted - Jun 23 2012 : 10:17:32 AM
this dog is trying to be the dominate as shown to yo by her going after your dogs in the bathroom...& yes you are very right about her possibably nailing you or your hubby if you upset her...she has had no training from the sounds of it & going after a horse is very very dangerous for the horses...this type of dog goes for the neck area so the marks you saw on the horse may have been her trying to take the horse down...i am sorry the guy is disabled but that is no excuse for the dog or his behavior towards the dog...for your own safety the dog & possible him has to go....this dog has shown little sets it off & it can do sever damage or death before too long if it decides......friend or no friend this is unexceptable on his part & a dangerous situation for you....Michele'
Chickens RULE!
hen #2622
theoldbatzfarm.blogspot.com |
| YakLady |
Posted - Jun 23 2012 : 10:04:42 AM
Yep, sounds like a typical high-prey drive dog with no training who's getting more and more comfortable in your home.
Get her out of there. I would try to convey your concerns for your friend around the dog as well.
Sorry you have to deal with this- as the saying goes, "No good deed goes unpunished."
~Natalie~ Just a farmgirl in Western Montana. http://mtnme.blogspot.com
Starting a family and raising Tibetan Yaks, Highland cattle, Laying hens, Muscovy ducks, Silver Fox rabbits, and a few dogs. |
| MagnoliaWhisper |
Posted - Jun 23 2012 : 04:37:13 AM
The liability is his own responsibility. However, your house, is your house! Time for pup out of your home! He can keep her, but doesn't have to be at your house. There is many dog day cares, boarding houses, and hotels.
Pet smart has doggy hotels, many vets board. It usually involves needing to get a kennel cough vax, and the daily charge of boarding. But, that's his responsibility, and it's time for her out of your home. A terrier attacked my 1 year old last winter. My DD wasnt doing anything at all to it, in fact she had been kind of leery of it for a while and had been keeping clear of it, all the sudden it just attacked. It was my parents dog....I'm still pretty upset about it, and DD is still scared of dogs! And so far looks like she will have life time scars on her face from the attack...she had to have stitches.
http://www.heathersprairie.blogspot.com |
| goneriding |
Posted - Jun 23 2012 : 03:34:37 AM
Oh, and another thing, I think she'll be a liability to him, should she actually hurt someone, a horse or another dog. I wonder if his new landlords know about her or have seen her. I mean, it'll be his problem but someone/animal could actually get hurt.
My website: http://antlersantiqueswindchimes.weebly.com
|
|
|
