| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| Hosanna |
Posted - Feb 28 2010 : 10:23:23 AM
A few days ago, I went to put one of my horse's blankets on, and found him dead.
He was REALLY old, but none of us had any clue he was going to just fall over dead like that. He was lying in his paddock, so peaceful. I thought he was sleeping, at first. We kept him at my parent's farm - away from where we live, and go daily to feed, blanket, and care for the horses.
I feel so bad, because the other three horses in that field were just standing there, looking at him. :(
One day he was fine and dandy, the next, he's dead. Although, when I think about it, that is a great way to go - peacefully, sleeping next to your hay.
I always hated having to call the vet and make the decision to have them put down.
But at least then, you get a chance to say goodbye. I didn't have a chance to say goodbye to Kavort.
Now I find myself with all these questions: Did I miss something? Was he ill and I just didn't "get" it? Did I do enough for him while he was alive? Is this my fault. I know the answers, logically, but in my heart, I still feel so.... guilty, somehow - for the fact that he died alone. Even though, it was all natural and it looks like he was sleeping, or that he just fell over dead.
But then, I always take the death of my horses hard. I'll be ok. Just venting a bit, here.
www.happilyeverafterhosanna.blogspot.com
www.thewindofheaven.blogspot.com
www.CarolinaRoses.etsy.com
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| 25 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| knittinchick |
Posted - Mar 05 2010 : 3:17:28 PM
Hosanna, my heart goes out to you during this trying time.
God's Blessings,
Megan
At heart, I am both a sassy city girl and a down-home country gal. |
| acairnsmom |
Posted - Mar 05 2010 : 1:56:47 PM
I Wish there was some way to ease your pain. Sounds like Kavort had a wonderful life thanks to you. Try to focus on the love you two shared and not your doubts. We all feel we "should" have done more when they are gone. I found my favorite cat dead (on my birthday no less) and was haunted for a long time with doubt. It didn't bring him back and only caused me to suffer that much more. Unexpected death is so hard, all I can do is send
(((((Hugs)))))
Audrey
Toto, we're not in Kansas any more! |
| amomfly |
Posted - Mar 05 2010 : 02:57:04 AM
I am sitting her crying for you. I know the loss and doubt you are having. But you did it it all right. I will be thinking and praying for you
God Bless
Angie-amomfly
#1038 |
| dawnm |
Posted - Mar 04 2010 : 9:21:54 PM
So sorry. Dawn
Small farm farmers rock! |
| AliciaNak |
Posted - Mar 03 2010 : 09:08:18 AM
I'm so sorry for your loss. 30+ is ripe old age for a horse, you must have been doing a lot of things right. I'm sure he understood just how loved he was. He had his buddies around him. You have lots of great memories of him, he'll never be truly "gone".
"There is something about the outside of a horse that's good for the inside of a woman"
Do not follow where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.~Ralph Waldo Emmerson
www.blondenak.blogspot.com |
| DaisyJane |
Posted - Mar 03 2010 : 08:37:52 AM
I lost an old, four legged friend today and found your entry about your loss. How we love our dogs and horses! My heart is with you too.
"Our truest life is when we are in our dreams awake"
Thoreau |
| cajungal |
Posted - Mar 02 2010 : 05:13:21 AM
My heart hurts for you. It's so hard to lose our precious animals. You're a great farmgirl and have no fault/guilt in his passing. It was your great care that brought him to 30+ years. I hope you feel better soon. Perhaps go sit at the "Virtual Porch"......all the ladies bring wonderful goodies and just sit around and talk. It's good medicine.
One of the best compliments from one of my daughters: "Moma, you smell good...like dirt." |
| simplecomfort |
Posted - Mar 01 2010 : 11:26:09 PM
aww. he didnt die alone, you were there everyday and he knew it. Im sure it wasnt anything you could of done or did..it was just his time. My old 37 year old pony, my first rescue, died in pasture right before winter hit this year. I had jsut talked about having to put her down because she wasnt looking good and wouldnt make it thru another winter. She had a good last 4 years of her life. I know its hard, but he probably just lay down and shut his eyes and went to that rainbow bridge.
"Thank God I'm a country girl" |
| Lessie Louise |
Posted - Mar 01 2010 : 1:18:57 PM
Oh Hosana, I am so sorry, you'll be in my thoughts, Carol
Forget buns of steel, I'd rather have buns of cinnamon!
Farmgirl #680! |
| Annika |
Posted - Mar 01 2010 : 12:24:28 PM
Oh Hosana, I'm so terribly sorry.
Annika
Farmgirl & sister #13
Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication. ~Leonardo DaVinci
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| Bear5 |
Posted - Mar 01 2010 : 12:22:13 PM
Hosana, I am so sorry for your loss.
Marly
"It's only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on earth- and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up- that we will begin to live each day to the fullest, as if it was the only one we had." Elisabeth Kurler-Ross |
| chaddsgirl |
Posted - Mar 01 2010 : 08:51:05 AM
Hugs to you Hosana. What an awful loss. I'm so sorry for your pain.
A person is a success if they get up in the morning and get to bed at night and in between does what they want to do. Bob Dylan
Deeperrootsfarm.etsy.com |
| Rea231 |
Posted - Mar 01 2010 : 08:03:37 AM
It has been 5 years since I lost my Lucy... I still miss seeing her beauty in the sunshine. I understand the loss. My thoughts are with you.
The art of teaching is the art of assisting discovery. |
| gr8tfulmom |
Posted - Mar 01 2010 : 07:42:06 AM
((hugs)) Hosanna, my thoughts are with you.
Farmgirl sister #779
http://symbioticstitches.blogspot.com/ |
| sherrye |
Posted - Mar 01 2010 : 07:21:24 AM
so sorry for your loss. we all love our animals. hugs to you sherrye
the learn as we go silk purse farm
farmgirl #1014
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| Annab |
Posted - Mar 01 2010 : 03:45:39 AM
So sorry to hear this.
If he was near the other horses, he didn't die alone. Sounds like he was surrounded by his buds same as what we would want.
They too might have been standing there in shock.
If he were indeed old too, like others have said: to go peacefully is the best way.
And if this will help: sounds like he was sleeping rather than with his head thrown out and away from his body and his back arched as if in the Death Throws...which indicates a struggle and traumatic death. So if this is the case, you can rest assured he indeed went in his sleep and was not scared
It's hard to accept the loss of a friend, so I'm sorry |
| farm~maid |
Posted - Mar 01 2010 : 03:07:26 AM
I'm sorry. He'll surely be missed. |
| Shery Jespersen |
Posted - Feb 28 2010 : 7:15:18 PM
I do know how you feel since we raise and work with horses. Your lovely old friend spared you. He left this world on his own and you did not have to watch him suffer or help him leave by way of a vet or a bullet. But, I know the heartbreak very well...for an infant foal, an old friend and all of them in between. I wish I could be there to give you a big hug...from one horse lover to another. I bet you have a herd of wonderful memories with him. That is the gift they leave with us.
Shery
Farmgirl Sister #753
Ranch Farmgirl http://rfgblog.maryjanesfarm.org
My Blog http://reataroseranch.blogspot.com/ |
| 4HMom |
Posted - Feb 28 2010 : 6:36:07 PM
So sorry for your loss, Hosanna. Sending you hugs.
"Be the change you want to see in the world" -Gandhi |
| maggie14 |
Posted - Feb 28 2010 : 4:54:53 PM
Oh Hosanna, I am soo sorry. Gosh. I know it must be hard. My prayers are with you dear!! Hugs!!!!!
Channah
Friendship is not something that can be bought, it is earned. |
| texdane |
Posted - Feb 28 2010 : 3:18:25 PM
Hosanna,
BIG HUGS from my family to yours. It is awful to lose a fur-baby. I am so sorry.
Nicole
Farmgirl Sister #1155
KNITTER, JAM-MAKER AND MOM EXTRAORDINAIRE |
| Hosanna |
Posted - Feb 28 2010 : 2:44:55 PM
He was 30 plus, but in excellent shape physically.
www.happilyeverafterhosanna.blogspot.com
www.thewindofheaven.blogspot.com
www.CarolinaRoses.etsy.com
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| kristin sherrill |
Posted - Feb 28 2010 : 1:12:19 PM
Hosanna, I am so sorry. I'm sure he will be missed. How old was he?
Kris
Happiness is simple. |
| farmmilkmama |
Posted - Feb 28 2010 : 12:26:01 PM
Sorry to hear about your loss...you're in my thoughts! It's always hard to lose a friend.
--* FarmMilkMama *--
Farmgirl Sister #1086
Be yourself.
Everyone else is already taken.
-Oscar Wilde
www.wakeupstartlearning.blogspot.com
www.farmfoodmama.blogspot.com |
| Alee |
Posted - Feb 28 2010 : 11:26:28 AM
Oh Hosanna! I am sure you did a great job with Kavort. I am sure he appreciated having a good and loving home. *hugs* I am so sorry you didn't get a chance to say goodbye to your friend but I am sure he knows it. When we had to put my childhood dog to sleep I felt her strongly with me the whole week as if she was giving my heart that extra bit of time to heal. I had never experienced anything like it before and had always been skeptical when I had heard others describe something similar. *hugs*
Alee
Farmgirl Sister #8
www.awarmheart.com
www.farmgirlalee.blogspot.com
www.allergyjourneys.blogspot.com
Put your pin on the farmgirl map! www.farmgirlmap.blogspot.com |
