| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| rksmith |
Posted - Dec 24 2013 : 04:16:44 AM
What do you do to get into the holiday spirit (regardless of which holiday you celebrate at this time of year)? My whole life, this time of year has been crap. Growing up, Christmas was just another work day. It was basically "open your junk and let's get to work" kind of thing most years. Also the majority of people that I truly care about have died between November and December, so that sucks. The best Christmas ever was when my son was born (on December 23, 16 years ago!!) so that was pretty cool, but I also felt like crap from having given birth (plus we lived at Ft. Hood then with no family around)so the Christmas part sucked. I dread the holidays, can't stand them for the most part, but I really wish I could get more into it, especially since we've moved to the mountains. My family was not close, we didn't do much for family gatherings and such--most of them can't get along well enough to be in the same room for more than a few minutes without trying to kill one another anyway. However, my husband's family (who we live closer to now) is a pretty close-knit group. They have get togethers and get along and actually help each other out. They do the things that families are supposed to do for one another and together. Which is such a foreign concept to me (and my son for the most part). I have put some effort into decorating the house this year and I do feel more open to the holidays since moving, but I still don't have "it". I'd like to do better next holiday season. Halloween is my favorite holiday and I go all out for that (like most people do with Christmas) and I'd like to be even just 1/2 as spirited about the Christmas season as I am Halloween but just don't have it. Any ideas on how to get a portion of the Holiday Spirit??
Rachel
Farmgirl Sister #2753
True enlightenment is nothing but the nature of one's own self being fully realised-- His Holiness the Dali Lama
www.madameapothecary.com |
| 11 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| CindyG |
Posted - Dec 26 2013 : 6:47:10 PM
I hesitate to write this because I do not want to be overly critical, and sometimes things in writing can have a more imposing tone than intended, based on the mood of the reader. That being said…
I respectfully ask that comments/suggestions/advice do not take on a pejorative tone, especially when a Sister is asking for a little help. No one wants to be told their feelings are folly or ridiculous or anything other than what their feelings are: theirs.
My comment is not directed to the beautiful sharing of experience, Testimony and Scripture. Nini's and Winnie's post were both perfection from different perspectives and I took them each to heart.
When one's zeal to share tramples on another's feelings it is not, to me, in the spirit of this Sisterhood. I appreciate the zeal, admire the enthusiasm and understand the INTENT is to uplift, but the result can be different from the intent. Please take careful consideration of the original posting when composing a response.
I am quite sure some things I have posted have ruffled a feather or two, so I am not suggesting I qualify to cast the first stone.
I just winced a bit reading words responding to a plea for inspiration.
All of this being said, life really is just hard sometimes. The stars/fate/Divine Intervention may align to have one in a receptive place with a calm heart. Otherwise, it can be very hard to set aside the bills, the family, the expectations, the reality. Things like a "leg up" from the wonderful ladies on this site can be THE THING that helps align those stars.
Respectfully,
Cindy |
| prariehawk |
Posted - Dec 24 2013 : 2:47:21 PM
Though it's not actually a Christmas song, I think "Show Me" by the Pretenders is the greatest Christmas song ever. It's a song that Chrissie Hynde wrote after two of the band members had died of drug overdoses, her relationship with Ray Davies had ended badly, and she'd just had a baby. It starts out:"Welcome to the human race, with its wars, disease, and brutality...you, with your angel face, keep the despair at bay...show me the meaning of the word". It describes how i would have felt if I'd been present at the birth of Jesus all those years ago. You don't even have to believe in Jesus to love this song, it's about finding mortal understanding in the face of a newborn child. To me, it sums up the spirit of Christmas like no other song. The "meaning of the word" is Love, pure and simple. That's really what Christmas is all about. If you can see the love in the small miracles around you, you have the spirit of Christmas.
Cindy
"Vast floods can't quench love, no matter what love did/ Rivers can't drown love, no matter where love's hid"--Sinead O'Connor
"In many ways, you don't just live in the country, it lives inside you"--Ellen Eilers
Visit my blog at http://www.farmerinthebelle.blogspot.com/ |
| hudsonsinaf |
Posted - Dec 24 2013 : 12:34:50 PM
Nini - amen, amen, and amen! Beautifully worded! Thank you for being an instrument for God!
Connie - it is all about losing the focus... of not separating oneself from the world.
Rachel - praying for you!
~ Shannon
http://hudson-everydayblessings.blogspot.com/ |
| Killarney |
Posted - Dec 24 2013 : 10:05:24 AM
It has always been so IRONIC to me that those who are Christian and celebrate the Birth of Jesus, feel Blue at Christmas! Oh I know all of life's reason's, death, leaking roofs. ETC, ETC. Christmas for Christians is GOOD NEWS! Jesus is Born!!!!! Not about maxing out your credit cards, buying gifts to impress people you don't like! I was never sad as a child when Christmas was over, because I knew first and foremost what Christmas is. As my Granny always said, CHRISTMAS IS HERE ALL YEAR IN YOUR HEART.
Giving gifts as the wise men did, and as Santa does, like Winnie said, can be anytime of the year!
Merry Christmas!
Connie
Imagine....#3392
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| Ninibini |
Posted - Dec 24 2013 : 09:43:27 AM
Dear Sister Rachel... God love and bless you. You know, this year, I kind of struggled with Christmas coming myself because a devastating thing happened to us a couple of months ago, and celebrating just wasn't in my heart. As time went on, I went through all the motions, but, like you said, I still didn't have "it." Then a family member passed, a friend's mother is in the process of her transition... My son and I got sick... "the dog ate my homework".. you get the idea.
ANYHOW... I sat down one night last week and prayed. During my whining to God, I started to realize that I had been focusing on the wrong things... I was looking at the circumstances around me, I was looking at the insurmountable mountain of "must do's in time for's..." and I had completely, completely ignored the true reason for the season. It's not about trees, or snow, or food, or presents... It's not about Currier and Ives or Bing Crosby or candles in the window or family... Those things are all wonderful, but they aren't really the focus of the true Christmas celebration. Christmas is about this most profound gift of love that God has given us: Jesus Christ, His Only Begotten Son, and the hope we can have in Him because of God's love. Suddenly, my focus changed to the true meaning: God's miraculously amazing love for us no matter who we are, where we come from or what we have done; how He loved us so much that He came to meet us right where we are so we could know Him and His Love for us! I remembered the angel Gabriel's joyful annunciation to Mary that she was God's highly favored one who was to be the vessel and mother who would bring His Son forth into the world so the world would know just how much He loves us (what an awesome responsibility and honor He gave to her!); Mary's "yes" to God, and all that meant for her, for her Son, and for the world; Joseph's pain and devastation to learn that his betrothed was with Child, knowing that all his hopes and dreams with her had been shattered, and yet, his profound love for her and the Child, and his devotion to God; their profound love and devotion to God and their willingness to submit to God's Will despite the circumstances around them and any persecution they faced; the intense discomfort and concerns they faced when going to Bethlehem for the census imposed by Caesar Augustus; the realization that there was nowhere for Mary to bring forth her Child except in the humble manger where animals lay; the way Mary wrapped her beloved little Baby in swaddling clothes and laid Him in the manger; the joy Mary felt as she held her Mircaculous Little One in her arms, her one True Treasure (what mother has not experienced that?); realizing that Jesus was born into poverty to teach us the lesson of detachment from earthly things (which, sadly, in this season, so many of us fall prey to - I enjoy the trappings of the holidays, just as anyone else.. but they ARE called "trappings" for a reason!); the miraculous appearance of the angels to the poor, lowly shepherds in the fields, people who were not considered high in state or considered to be "worthy," and the announcement that the Messiah had finally come!; the long trek the shepherds made to adore the Holy Child, and the indescribable amazement and joy they must've felt when they finally found Him; the Magi, who had traveled from afar, following a star, to find the prophesied One, and the meaningful gifts of gold, frankincense and myrrh they presented to Him, standard gifts presented to honor a king in ancient times, but also ones of profound meaning specific to the Holy One - gold, representing His kingship, frankincense symbolic of His Priestly role, and myrrh which was used during the preparation of the body after death... All of these things? THESE are the true meaning of Christmas: God's love. He came in the form of a precious, sweet, innocent little baby, weak, vulnerable, unable to do anything for Himself, so that our eyes would gaze upon Him, in the flesh, and our hearts would fall in love with Him. And then He waxed strong into manhood and took all of everything we have ever done to separate us from the love of God to the Cross and gave everything He had so that we would know how much God loves us and the extent to which He would go to save us. When I thought about Christmas in this light, there was no reason for me not to be joyful. Christmas was here - everywhere... in my heart, in my mind, in my soul and resounding in every fiber of my being! All the other stuff wasn't necessary - fun, yes, but absolutely not necessary. What mattered was that God loves me.. He loves EVERYONE, even those who don't believe in Him, even those who don't know Him, even those who reject Him. And to be so loved, so secure in Him, so completely covered, and washed in Him... THAT is what Christmas is all about! HE is the music is in my heart! I don’t need all the trappings - they’re fun, they’re lovely, and they do have a place; but even without them Christmas is Christmas. It is by focusing on Him and all the meaning behind Him coming to us in the form of that precious little babe because Mary said, “yes…” - THAT is how the Christmas Spirit filled my heart .
I realize - I really, really do - that not everyone sees Christmas this way. And I do completely respect everyone’s right to personal beliefs, the holidays they celebrate and how they celebrate them – non-Christian and Christian alike. But if you’re looking for the True Spirit of Christmas... well, it’s not an “it;” it’s in “Him,“ and we cannot find it anywhere else but in His heart. Know that He is there for ALL of us – every single one of us, no matter who we are, where we come from or what we believe - and He loves us all just the same. Just talk to Him, He’s there; He will speak to your heart.
I sincerely do hope and pray you will allow Him to fill your heart with His Love this Christmas. I sincerely hope and pray that for everyone - because when His Spirit comes, it truly is Christmas every day!
Merry, Merry Christmas to All!
Hugs and love –
Nini
Farmgirl Sister #1974
God gave us two hands... one to help ourselves, and one to help others!
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| sjmjgirl |
Posted - Dec 24 2013 : 09:10:26 AM
I have to agree with everyone else. Do what makes you happy this time of year. Isn't that all a family tradition is anyway? Doing what makes you happy? Bake if you love to bake, take a walk in the woods, spend time with those you love, no matter if they're relation or not. The beauty of the holidays, I think, is that there is no wrong way to celebrate!
Farmgirl Sister # 3810
Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.
- Dalai Lama
April is Autism Awareness month. Autism affects 1 in 88 children (1 in 54 boys, including my son). Go to http://www.autismspeaks.org/ to learn more and help Light It Up Blue on April 2nd!
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| sjmjgirl |
Posted - Dec 24 2013 : 09:02:13 AM
I have to agree with everyone else. Do what makes you happy this time of year. Isn't that all a family tradition is anyway? Doing what makes you happy? Bake if you love to bake, take a walk in the woods, spend time with those you love, no matter if they're relation or not. The beauty of the holidays, I think, is that there is no wrong way to celebrate!
Farmgirl Sister # 3810
Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.
- Dalai Lama
April is Autism Awareness month. Autism affects 1 in 88 children (1 in 54 boys, including my son). Go to http://www.autismspeaks.org/ to learn more and help Light It Up Blue on April 2nd!
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| churunga |
Posted - Dec 24 2013 : 07:16:41 AM
I went through many decades of not having that Christmas spirit. When I was a kid one year, we had Christmas at the Grandparents. We were excited to be there and to be opening presents and having family around. I don't know why my dad did this. He said to me, "Why do you kids have to be so greedy?" I hadn't felt greedy. I was excited and happy. Well that stuck with me and every Christmas after that as a kid, I never asked for anything and spent all my allowance money on gifts for family and friends. My family didn't realize this and I wasn't really aware of it until I was in college when my boyfriend insisted I tell him what I really wanted. I told him the story and he and his family made a very special Christmas for me.
I have developed in that time a generosity that to me is the spirit of Christmas. I give graciously without expecting a return only the smiles of the receivers. I have opened my home to holiday orphans and those less fortunate than I. We don't have room for a tree in our new place or for a big dinner but my husband and I give generously to anyone we see begging in our cold weather.
I agree with Winnie. Find your own tradition and celebrate that. Give yourself time. It took me at least 20 years. Hopefully, it won't take you that long.
Marie, Sister #5142
Try everything once and the fun things twice. |
| CindyG |
Posted - Dec 24 2013 : 07:07:28 AM
Beautifully said, Winnie.
It has taken me a while to honestly dismiss the Hallmark movie and Norman Rockwell visual in my head of what the holidays "should" be like and instead try to enjoy them for what they are in reality. The reality is I have some painfully selfish family and opt to not have them play a major role in my holiday and have made a few new traditions for myself that I can be happy celebrating. One main thing: I've stopped trying to find the perfect gift for the people who complain about everything and focus on the ones who don't complain, which are often strangers when we pluck names off the Salvation Army tree at the mall.
One interesting thing I have learned through counseling is the true power of positive thinking, and by that I mean you actually form new neural pathways and form stronger associations in your brain when you take the time to think about positive things. It may sound hokey, but a "Gratitude Journal" can work wonders in terms of focusing your brain on the presence of that which is good in your life. You can literally train your brain to get in a more positive frame of mind. THis has helped me immensely.
As Winnie suggested, embrace or create one or two new traditions this year, and then you'll have them to look forward to next year and just keep building on the positive things that you and your husband enjoy.
We have a somewhat ridiculous and seemingly decadent activity that really has become a yearly thing: caviar and all the trimmings with champagne on Christmas Eve. Here's the funny thing: there are some much-less-expensive caviars out there and Cava or Proseco sparkling wines are under $10 a bottle. We get out the toasting glasses from our wedding, enjoy our goodies and crack up as we let the cat lick out the caviar dish when we're through. My not-nice MIL detests animals in the house and thinks cats are filthy, so we toast her in absentia as we have the cat up on the table to get her treat when we're all done.
I also thoroughly enjoy giving "gifts" to the critters outside - I know they enjoy them! Pine cones covered in peanut butter, homemade suet cakes, etc. A gathering of creatures lifts my heart, and it is very entertaining to sit and watch who comes by to partake of the feast. This year we have a squirrel so fat his belly lays on (almost covers) his back feet when he sits up, and I have a feeling he will be first at the buffet tomorrow morning.
I love Winnie's suggestion of a clean slate this year - make that a gift to yourself.
Cindy
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| Cozynana |
Posted - Dec 24 2013 : 06:58:37 AM
Winnie, I can kind of relate. I think mine is because Christmas represent buying gifts, cleaning the house, making food for many and frankly I am chronically sick. I have multiple autoimmune diseases and it is a big challenge for me. I try to steal moments of joy. I love certain Christmas songs so I play them a lot. I cherish baking cookies with my grandkids so I do that. I love Christmas Eve service because of the last song when the candles are lit and we sing Silent Night. The rest of Christmas could go away and I would never miss it. Maybe you could find your special moments you like. It may be shopping for ?, or baking ?, or whatever. Also, If that does not cut it, how about making a deal with your hubby and take a vacation around or on Christmas. Go to Las Vegas, the mountains, the beach, a Bed and Breakfast. Maybe if you can break out of the mold and do something different to retrain associations of Christmas you would do better. Put your focus on something else. Be deliberate about what you do in Nov and Dec and try to set up a new normal. It may help forget the past and start a new chapter in your life. Good luck and blessing for the New Year. |
| Red Tractor Girl |
Posted - Dec 24 2013 : 05:45:55 AM
Rachael, I think many people struggle with the Christmas thing. How people celebrate is a woven tapestry of the past and present with all it's joys and disappointments. You cannot make people want to be festive together and present giving can be a huge source of stress. Halloween and the month of November, culminating with Thanksgiving, is my favorite time of year and the celebrations I love the most. There is no pressure on gift giving or specific rules that are expected. Perhaps that freedom allows you to do what makes sense to you and in a way that you can enjoy? Depending on how tied in to religion you are, Christmas celebrations may or may not make sense to you. Many people who are not specifically Christian, like to celebrate the winter solstice and all of the traditions and lore of that long tradition. I do also think that it is OK to say that you just don't really like the Christmas hoop-la and prefer, instead , to keep it simple and just enjoy the family gathering with your husband's family. Perhaps, giving yourself permission to acknowledge that Christmas is not your thing, and accept that you don't have to apologize or try and be something that you really don't feel, will help you feel more free to enjoy whatever does make sense for you and your son and husband. Once you stop trying to "force a round peg in a square hole" , maybe you will find a new way to enjoy some of the Christmas celebrations that fill the month of December and create new ways to enjoy this transition month into the quiet of winter's January and February.
Holiday spirit is what you want it to be no matter what holiday it is. Just let "it" happen this year and allow yourself the space to see what really makes sense to you and what has meaning. There are no rules so the slate is clean and you can write anything you want on it! Good luck, my Farmgirl friend. You are going to be just fine!
Winnie #3109 |
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