| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| Roxy7 |
Posted - Sep 29 2009 : 9:36:29 PM
It really hit me hard tonight that this will be the first holidays without my dad. My mom passed away when I was 19. Its really been a rough couple of years. We lost my brother in law 2 years ago at Thanksgiving, my brother right at at Christmas. Then an uncle. Then right after New Years this year my father. Add to that a few friends.
I have been really making myself busy with making Christmas gifts and preparing....I think because I know that as the day comes it will be harder and harder to remain motivated.
I dont want to be a downer to this area of the board....but I really need some good thoughts and advice. I have a three year old and I need this to be a good time for him. My grandmother dies on Christmas day in 1932 and it always haunted my father. I need to get to where I dont live by the anniversary's of these days.
Thanks for reading. |
| 25 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| cheneygal |
Posted - Feb 16 2010 : 7:45:35 PM
Teresa, you never fail to bring tears to my eyes. I tried before work on Valentines Day to read some of the cards my dh had given me, but couldn't do it....had a handle on things by evening and read them all before bed. You are right, that loss will never completely go away....so many wonderful memories.
live, laugh, love |
| 1badmamawolf |
Posted - Feb 14 2010 : 4:08:24 PM
Suzie, waking up this morn brought back tears for wonderful memories and for a loss that will never go completly away.
"Treat the earth well, it was not given to you by your parents, it was loaned to you by your children" |
| Roxy7 |
Posted - Feb 13 2010 : 10:02:18 PM
Suzie, thanks for posting. I have noticed its gotten quiet inthis thread...maybe thats means folks are in a good place right now. We are meeting my brother in the morning for the Chinese New year celebration. I have never been one for New Years day...and since my dad died on Jan 2, 2009, we have decided that our New Years will be the Chinese version! They have dancing dragons and fireworks and all sorts of things. Fells better to celebrate it a month later anyhow! |
| cheneygal |
Posted - Feb 12 2010 : 9:13:31 PM
None of you Farmgirl sisters have posted here for so long, thought it was time to check up on all of you!! We all made it through the Christmas holidays, the New Year, and here it is almost Valentines Day......I'm hoping that each of you have a wonderful day.....and remember the memories you cherish most about your lost loved ones!! I know I'll be doing that. I know I have every little card my dh gave me each Valentine Day, whether it was with a bouquet of flowers, or just a pretty card, I'm going to gather them all up and just look at them, and enjoy them!! Hope you all can do the same.
live, laugh, love |
| Roxy7 |
Posted - Jan 02 2010 : 10:36:57 PM
Krystal, you are welcome.
I lost my Dad one year ago today. It was so sudden. My dad was 85 and had in his late 40's had a construction accident where he fell off a building, 3 stories onto cement and ice. The Priest gave him Last Rites....and he pulled through with 2 broken legs and 7 btoken ribs and all that goes with a fall like that.....and yet he recovered. He had been living with a lot of pain. In spite of all that, he was still larger than life. If I thought anyone I knew would live forever, it would have been my Dad. I miss him a lot. I lost my mom so many years ago, that I knew I was lucky to have my dad. Now with them both gone, it just seems so strange to be at the top of my family chain. I guess we all get there eventually...buty its still weird. |
| Aunty Krys |
Posted - Jan 01 2010 : 4:11:07 PM
Roxy, thank you so much for the beautiful words! I was sitting here missing my momma--we lost her 2 years ago on my birthday in November so this part of the year has been especially difficult. Those poems went straight to the heart of things and sounded so much like what she would say that it truly brought tears to my eyes but eased some of the ache. Thank you!
Be the person your dog thinks you are. |
| 1badmamawolf |
Posted - Dec 30 2009 : 7:33:49 PM
With each passing year we get alittle stronger with help from the memories and spirits of our lost loved ones, family and friends. I keep you girls who have lost in my hearts everyday, there will always be a place for you all there. Thank you all so much for listening to my stories of my hubby, I lost a big chunk of my heart and my soul when I lost him, but you all have helped them heal a little and for that I will always be grateful.
"Treat the earth well, it was not given to you by your parents, it was loaned to you by your children" |
| cheneygal |
Posted - Dec 30 2009 : 7:29:18 PM
Thanks, Teresa, for the cyber hugs, you're right, they're almost as good as the real thing. As before, I thank you gals for all your support, love and prayers the last few months, you have become my second family, and if I want, I can chat with you all every day, how lucky is that??!! Let's all have a good New Years Eve, and, a good New Year to come. Hope you're all keeping busy, I find that's what is best for me....sure I sat down tonight in DH's recliner, for the first time, loved on our dog and cried my eyes out for a few minutes....but had a great day...I was cookin' up a storm at 7:30 this a.m., and didn't finish up till about 1:00 this afternoon. Pete's youngest son, wife and their 2 little ones are coming to spend New Year's Eve with me....staying till Sunday, I'm pretty tickled they want to drive 8 hrs. and spend the holiday with me!! This next year is a new chapter for all of us, I say lets try and make it a great one, and keep this thread going!! Love you all!!
live, laugh, love |
| 1badmamawolf |
Posted - Dec 27 2009 : 9:22:17 PM
Suzie, back at ya girl, you all will always be in my thoughts and prayers, and cyber hugs are almost as good, lol.
"Treat the earth well, it was not given to you by your parents, it was loaned to you by your children" |
| cheneygal |
Posted - Dec 27 2009 : 8:20:54 PM
Teresa, I too awoke early (just after midnight), and realized it was Christmas and burst into tears.....my first Christmas, and your third, I thought it was supposed to get better, and I am sure it will in time. Funny how it hits you out of nowhere, when you least expect it, but you have also told me that. We lost our Mom 3 yrs. ago the 30th., I feel awful about it, but all I can think about is my loss of Pete. Robin, I thank you also for the beautiful poems, and I'll "ditto" what Teresa said!!! I'm thinking about you both and send my love and would hug ya both if I could!!
live, laugh, love |
| 1badmamawolf |
Posted - Dec 27 2009 : 7:55:59 PM
Robin, thank you so very much for that, althou I did have a hellava time reading it thru my tears, it was very worth it my friend.
"Treat the earth well, it was not given to you by your parents, it was loaned to you by your children" |
| Roxy7 |
Posted - Dec 27 2009 : 7:28:37 PM
Teresa,
I am sorry. I know how it is. Life doesnt seem fair sometimes. When you look for fairness it can be hard to find. I just think there are reasons we cant understand.
This is from my motherless daughters yahoo group. Its a pretty poem and I dont know who wrote it. It makes me cry, but its appropriate.
Merry Christmas from Heaven,
As I look down on you tonight.
I will always be with you,
forever holding you tight.
As Christmas nears, I know you are blue,
But don't cry for me darling,
There is nothing more you can do.
You've done everything you could for me,
While I was on the earth,
And for that I thank you my darling,
You don't know what it was worth.
But as I celebrate my first Christmas in Heaven,
I look down on you and see,
The many things ,
That you are of me.
So don't cry my darling,
You have the best present yet,
You have me in you,
And that's something you'll never forget.
This is a poem my niece sent me to read at my brothers funeral. It makes me cry, but makes me feel better at the same time.
When tomorrow starts without me, and I'm not there to see.
If the sun should rise and find your eyes, all filled with tears for me.
I wish so much you wouldn't cry, the way you did today,
While thinking of the many things we never got to say.
I know how much you love me, as much as I love you..
And each time that you think of me, please know I miss you too
But when tomorrow starts without me, Please try to understand..
An angel came and called my name and took me by the hand,
It seemed my place was ready - In Heaven far above,
and that I'd have to leave behind, all those I dearly loved..
But as I turned to walk away, a tear fell from my eye.
For all of life, I'd always thought, I didn't want to die.
I had so much to live for, so much yet to do,
It seemed almost impossible, that I was leaving you..
I thought of all the yesterdays, the good ones and the bad..
I thought of all the love we shared, and how much fun we had..
If I could relive yesterday, just even for a while,
I'd say goodbye, then kiss you ‘til I saw that special smile..
But then I fully realized, that it could never be,
'Cause emptiness and memories, would take the place of me.
And when I thought of all those things, I might miss come tomorrow,
I thought of you, and when I did, my heart was filled with sorrow. .
But when I walked through Heaven's gates, I felt so much at home.
When God looked down and smiled at me, From his great & golden throne,
He said, "This is eternity, and all I've promised you.
Today your life on Earth is past, but here it starts anew.
I promise no tomorrow, but today will always last,
and since each day is the same day, there's no longing for the past. .
But you have been so faithful, so trusting and so true,
Though there were some times you did some things you shouldn't do. .
But you have been forgiven, and now at last you're free,
So come and take me by the hand, and share my life with me.."
So when tomorrow starts without me, don't think we're far apart,
for every time you think of me, I'll be right here - in your Heart..
|
| 1badmamawolf |
Posted - Dec 27 2009 : 5:53:32 PM
This was my 3rd Christmas with out my hubby, and I think it was tuffer than last year. I was still awake at midnight on Christmas eve, ( which is way past my bedtime), and when I realized that it was actually Christmas day, I burst into tears. Jerry would, every year at that time, (don't know how he woke up on his own year after year) , slightly wake me, take my face into his hands, kiss me and tell me "Merry Christmas Mrs Reitmajer", he did that for 33 yrs, never missed one, sigh..., he was such a big ( he was 6'7", 285 lbs of pure muscled man)tuff Harley riding, diesel fixing, ranching, gentle as a lamb and as protective as a alpha wolf protecting his pack, the most wonderful Dad, and the best G/pa on this planet, and I miss him more than ever, and I'm MAD, its not fair that MY MAN is gone, he did not deserve this, and neither did his family. I will go on, and I know it will get easier, i just don't know why NOW, it is again hurting my heart so very, very much. I feel so raw and wounded, and I don't know how to stop this feeling of utter pain. I am telling you all this, in case this happens to one of you who has loved and lost anyone, so when its your time to feel this way, you know you are not alone, and never will be. God Bless you all.
"Treat the earth well, it was not given to you by your parents, it was loaned to you by your children" |
| Roxy7 |
Posted - Dec 26 2009 : 07:43:50 AM
Marlene, that would be awesome. I should ask at church if they do that. |
| MBurns |
Posted - Dec 25 2009 : 8:34:15 PM
My church holds a blue holiday service for people who have lost someone and are sad around the holidays. They read a book named Stone soup and everyone lights a candle for their loved one and says their name and a little about them. I have attended the last couple of years and it is a place you can reflect and remember loved ones.
Happiness is having
farmgirl friends. |
| Roxy7 |
Posted - Dec 23 2009 : 8:34:27 PM
Merry Christmas do my brother Danny. I lost you 2 years ago. I miss you and your humor. I love you. See you again, Forest. |
| cheneygal |
Posted - Dec 22 2009 : 8:03:32 PM
To all you gals that have been guiding me through a tough time the last couple of months, I have you in my thoughts and prayers....I hope you all have a wonderful holiday season, (Merry Christmas)I hold you all very near and dear to my heart and thank you so much for the support, I will certainly continue to give my love and support!! I am spending Christmas with my brother and his wife, in Ocean Shores, Wa. Be close to your family and let things go when you need to, it makes you feel so good!!
live, laugh, love |
| Roxy7 |
Posted - Dec 19 2009 : 07:49:30 AM
Bonnie,
My dads birthday was the 3rd. I know how you feel. I dont think you need to be stoic. Thats so much stress to place on a broken heart. You need to allow yourself to "feel" what you feel. Find a room for a few minutes alone or take a walk. Dont stuff it down.
My brother died on Dec 23, 2 years ago. I had to go to DH family Christmas on the 24th. I kind of just sat back numb and teary. It was not easy. When I had to I just went outside to cry when I had to. My family had a very subdued celebration that year.
Hugs and prayers for everyone who is going through this. |
| Roxy7 |
Posted - Dec 19 2009 : 07:44:29 AM
Suzie,
Its a strange feeling isnt it? Knowing you cant hear that persons voice or catch their "scent". I can still remember my moms voice and her laugh, but it gets more distant as time goes by. I wish we had a video camera back in those days. Everyone now and then I catch the scent and warmth of being against my mothers chest. At those times I know she is still with me. I think my dad plays tricks on me hiding things!
Merry Christmas to you and Hugs! |
| Beemoosie |
Posted - Dec 19 2009 : 04:57:39 AM
I've been having a tough time since Dad's birthday on the 9th. Just when you think you have yourself together...bam! Tomorrow will be my dad's family Christmas party, minus dad, Aunt Sue & Grandma. There are 6 of dad's siblings and there families left. I pray I keep it together b/c everyone else tends to be stoic in public and I am the sentimental teary eyed one.
Christmas blessings and hugs to all!
My soul magnifies the Lord, And my spirit rejoices in God my Savior. Luke 1:46,47
www.beequilting.blogspot.com
http://beemoosie-picture-diary.blogspot.com/ |
| cheneygal |
Posted - Dec 18 2009 : 7:33:14 PM
Glad to see you on here once again Roxy, I've been wondering how you were doing....it's a tough time for all of those concerned, tougher for some, than others. I realized in these past few weeks, I too, will never hear his voice again, and the Christmas songs that were my DH's favorites, well, I just had to turn Sirius music off one day last week. Sure hits you at the oddest moments. I'm spending Christmas with my brother and his wife, away from home this year and praying that I don't melt into a blubbering idiot while I'm there!! Merry Christmas to all of you how have lost loved ones this year, you are all in my thoughts.
live, laugh, love |
| Roxy7 |
Posted - Dec 18 2009 : 7:23:59 PM
How is everyone doing? I have been okay. I made my moms Christmas cakes today. Thats rewarding for me because it honors her memory.....its sad, because, well, mine just arent as good as hers! I am meeting my brother at the cemetary tomorrow to bring a poinsettia.
I have been trying to keep busy making food. I have been busy with stocking the gallery that carries my jewelry. I have also completed all my special orders for Christmas.
Hugs to everyone who is having a hard time. |
| cheneygal |
Posted - Dec 02 2009 : 8:01:35 PM
Sounds like everyone did "sorta, kinda, o.k." with Thanksgiving....now for Christmas!! I had a tough spell this a.m., pellet stove was acting up (STUPID STOVE!!), got it fixed and running again, rearranged the front room to make room for the Christmas tree, and suddenly realized my hubby wouldn't see it this yaer...then remembered our first year of being together, but not married yet...I had hauled all my Christmas stuff out and had a huge mess in the living room (am a picky housekeeper so always hate that mess for a day!!), Pete hauled chips, worked at night and called me about 6 that evening and said "why don't you meet me at McDonald's and you can run to Longview with me"...I left the mess and all, and rode on the truck with him that night...that is a cherished memory to be sure!!! Point being, I sat down and had a good cry, and felt better about it, guess ya gotta do that.
live, laugh, love |
| 1badmamawolf |
Posted - Dec 02 2009 : 6:43:23 PM
I will always miss my man, there will NEVER be anyone that could replace him, nor do I ever want one. I look at my kids, and my grandkids, and I see him, in a smile, a twinkle of an eye, a smerk and a laugh, in a very short lived temper flare. I see the pride my husband felt when he looked at his kids, and the utmost of ultimte pride looking at his grandkids. I remember the pain in his eyes when he knew he would never walk his little girl down the isle, but his eldest son will take his place, and his love will radiate down from above.Yes, the holidays will always be a bit sad, without him, and I will always miss him a little more on those days, but only because those are the days that bring up the best memories of all.
"Treat the earth well, it was not given to you by your parents, it was loaned to you by your children" |
| Roxy7 |
Posted - Dec 02 2009 : 4:21:43 PM
Hugs everyone. |
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