| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| catscharm74 |
Posted - Feb 26 2007 : 10:36:17 PM
I need some insight and perspective here. I know it is the wish of most people to have a better life than their past generations of family. I have been thinking a lot about my own family (Myself, DH and DS) and wanting to have an even better life than what we have now. We are doing ok but I am tired of what I call "the military" paycheck and lifestyle struggle. Long story short, we have money in the bank but are just inking by sometimes. And yes I do worry and there is no way I cannot.
We are the product of our choices but I want more security and yes, more money in the bank. I am far from greedy but when I try to discuss this with people, they seem to think I am becoming greedy or materialistic. I just want to live comfortably, in my own definition of the word. We both work hard to have our lives together but I want more. Does anyone get what I am saying or maybe can help me express it better?
We have goals and I want our son to have a good life without it being handed to him. I don't want him to struggle as his father and I did (before we met each other).
Just some sage old advice would be welcomed.
Thanks.
Cheers,
Heather |
| 12 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| westernhorse51 |
Posted - Mar 01 2007 : 05:29:47 AM
I play although I'm not very good. my husband took it up while recuping& it's great exercise. My clubs are flea market clubs for 5 bucks, my wood is a real wood, thats how old they are but they work fine for me.
she selects wool and flax and works with eager hands Prov.31:13 |
| blueroses |
Posted - Feb 28 2007 : 4:33:02 PM
Hi Cat,
Originally we had a section on golf in our high school gym class and I kind of liked it, but at the time it never occurred to me to join the team ( I had a job and did other activities). In college, I had a boyfriend that started taking me golfing and I really enjoyed it. When I was in my late twenties our office used to have an annual scramble (those are fun if you aren't real experienced yet)and I'd go out with friends to practice. Zoom forward to now - my husband used to take me quite often when we were dating. I was very rusty, but I still love it. I've taken lessons twice and probably will take them with a friend of mine this year cuz I feel like I need to work on driving again.
I really like it because I like the challenge and don't get all stressed out if I have a bad day. And it's something DH and I can hopefully do more of as we grow old together.
Debbie
"You cannot find peace...by avoiding life."
Virginia Woolfe |
| Tracey |
Posted - Feb 28 2007 : 08:10:23 AM
Being content with where you're at...that's the key.
My passion has always been horses. When we've struggled financially, I've had to give up the things that bring me joy (outside of family) in order for us to get by. It's very difficult to sell an animal that you've bonded with and consider a friend, but keeping a roof over our heads or paying the electric bill was a greater priority.
If you can afford golf, there's no reason not to do it. But if you can't...if your bills are a struggle...then wait until they're not an issue before spending your money on new hobbies (or even old ones.) Find a way to be content with the circumstances you're living in at the moment.
Visit Quiet Storm, our adopted Mustang! http://wildaboutquietstorm.com
http://carpentercreek.blogspot.com http://mustangdiaries.blogspot.com http://marbletownangels.blogspot.com
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| Past Blessings |
Posted - Feb 27 2007 : 5:59:23 PM
Leaving an inheritance to our children is a wonderful Biblical concept, so to want more in life is certainly not a bad thing. If your only goal was to look good to John Q. Public, then there might be an issue, but to want to provide security, comfort and peace in your home is certainly not greedy.
I spent too much of my married life lying awake worrying about bills, paying partial payments on bills to keep them from sending the barking dogs, and doing desperate things . . . I remember being terribly disappointed when I was turned down for giving blood (underweight and rolling veins!). I would have happily done it for the $20.00 at the time.
We still live paycheck to paycheck, but the stress is better. But I too want more . . . I want to pass on an inheritance to our children. I want to give money whenever I see a true need. I want to be generous. I am generous now, but of course it is limited by our income.
If you are wise and make the most of what you have, I do believe God will bless you with your desires. You may never be rich, but He will give you what you truly need and bring peace with it.
As for golf, I have always wanted to take that up and DH and I both plan to once the kids are grown and "Finances allow". I think I like it so much because you are out in nature, it is a quiet sport and you do get good exercise walking. Plus it is something we will do as a couple. I do not want a golf cart. To me walking is half of the draw of it.
Best of luck . . . you are not greedy . . . planning is wise and that is what you are doing.
Hugs and blessings!
Brenda
Past Blessings . . . Celebrating Life as it used to be . . . when people loved God, loved their families and loved their country. |
| catscharm74 |
Posted - Feb 27 2007 : 1:56:14 PM
Blueroses- how did you get started in golf??? Thanks for the read idea. |
| Zahara |
Posted - Feb 27 2007 : 1:02:56 PM
an interesting read : Sabbath by Wayne Muller |
| blueroses |
Posted - Feb 27 2007 : 11:59:33 AM
Cat,
The goals you have set are great. We set goals so that we have a sense of direction and we tweak them as needed along the way. I think you're doing fine. And there's nothing wrong with wanting some cushion ($$) in the bank and to give you some sense of security.
As for golf -- I love it. I do it for me because it's fun and a challenge. There comes a point, where you have to do things for yourself too. And if others don't get it, oh well. Go for it.
"You cannot find peace...by avoiding life."
Virginia Woolfe |
| catscharm74 |
Posted - Feb 27 2007 : 08:55:10 AM
Thank you for your replies. As you have all said, it is NOT about money with me, just having enough to cover our bases and put some away for a rainy day.
I like what you said Michele about coming back to what we loved when we were young (11 and 12) It is so true. That was the happiest point in my life. Interesting to think about.
I just am tired of not having the enough right now, that if something even minor happens, we would be in some big trouble (mostly financially). I never really got on the materialistic track, just buying what I need- basics- car, somewhere to live, clothes for what I do, a few fun hobbies, etc....
One reason this came up is because I am going to take golf up. I am going to try it. DH is cool with it but other people look at it like I am trying to class climb or think I am better than where I am at. I just like golfing. I did it a few times about 15 years ago and liked it and thought it would be good to get outside and walk and do something new. I am not interested in smoozing over drinks in the clubhouse and I would actually like to get good enough to enter some tournaments.
Another thing is we are putting our DS, who will be 1 in March, into an academic daycare. They teach alot instead of just putting them in a playpen all day. He still will get to be a kid, but also learn something. People think we are trying to make him a genious or something, but again, we just want him to do his best and get some enjoyment out of it. The way he acts, he seems to enjoy a more interactive environment.
Having said that, I am really simplified our lives. We live with just what we need. Nothing really extra. We just moved and I took another load of stuff to the DAV to donate. I have lived like this for a long time and I like it.
Our immediate goals our for me to finish my Associates Degree and DH to finish his time in the Navy (FEB 09)
Next comes moving to Texas, buying a small home and taking about 3 months to travel and get some down time.
Next comes work and getting DS set up in school. I also want to pursue my Bachelor's degree at Texas State.
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| westernhorse51 |
Posted - Feb 27 2007 : 04:55:35 AM
my husband & I have been through so many ups & downs in our almost 20 yrs. We've had plenty & we've been so low we went way past scraping the bottom! I think we all want more but more of what is the question for you. Wanting more doesn't have to mean material things but it depends what it is you want. Search your heart. I read somewhere that we come back to what it was we loved when we were young (11 or 12 yrs.old) If we look at that again it helps us focus. May not be true for all. No one really likes having to struggle. I love being in my home w/ my family when a good snow storm hits AS LONG as were safe, have power & plenty of food but ask me if I liked it a few wks. ago when we were freezing & had no power for a few days. Depends on circumstances & want you want out of life.
she selects wool and flax and works with eager hands Prov.31:13 |
| gregs_lil_farmgirl |
Posted - Feb 27 2007 : 04:07:13 AM
Aunt George...you couldn't have said it better than you did. Great advice. And for the record, I think that a lot of wisdom is gain through our struggles. We do change what means the most to us through the years and I don't think anyone is exempt from feeling this.
I, too have began the simplify mantra, except for my "little" fabric stash...not ready for that yet.
Cat, follow your heart ans search for your goals. Just remember life isn't rigid and it shifts on you periodically. You have to learn to bend with it, keep your eye on the goal, and find a way around obstacles that will certainly pop up. If your heart is in it, you'll get wherever you want to be. Lots of luck to you, sweetie.
-Simple pleasures make my heart smile- |
| Aunt George |
Posted - Feb 27 2007 : 03:24:20 AM
I agree with Diane. Comfortable is different to different people at different times in one's life. You have to see where you are right now and where you want to be in 1yr, 5yrs, 10yrs. Set small goals and have a clear path. I know what you mean by not wanting to struggle. There is nothing wrong with wanting to better oneself...that is the human way.
There are many undervalued segments in our society: military and their families, teachers, nurses, police officers. In my opinion, these groups sacrifice so much and receive so little, not only in compensation but also in appreciation. Now having said that:
Think about what you really think is a better life than previous generations. When I was in my 20's it was the nice car, the big house, the fancy clothes, the respect of others, making it in a man's world. In my 30's it was many of the same things, but boy do the bills pile up while chasing that better life. Now as I near my 50's (next year) I am peeling away all of that. I want to live more of the life that my previous generations lived. No they didn't have the things that we have now, but...they didn't have the high mortgage, they didn't have to keep working to pay for the upkeep, or the car payments, or the high grocery costs. They read a book because they didn't have TV. We all want more, but make sure it is a more that will truly bring you happiness. Examine who you are, be happy where you are and with what you have, then most of the other "things" will follow.
Simplify....throw everything out! This is my new mantra, because I am at the point in my life where I am ready for this.
Good Luck on your quest...set your goals and work toward them.
G
Gosh I reread my comment and in trying to sound so sage, wise, etc, I realize that I have always hated to struggle too. We have struggled all of our lives, and there were points when I had my eyes so much on the struggling aspect that I failed to enjoy the here and now. Don't waste a minute of your time on this earth...live in the precious present, love in the moment and play like it is your last day. Hug your spouse and children each and every day....that is what truly counts!
http://auntgeorgeshouse.blogspot.com/index.html
Thanks for checking out my apron and sewing musings! |
| DaisyFarm |
Posted - Feb 27 2007 : 12:37:09 AM
Wanting to live comfortably is not even close to greedy or materialistic. But can you define what "comfortable" is to you? Do you have a vision of what that is? If you could answer that question, maybe you would be able to set goals, even if they're small ones to begin with. Each goal reached would give you double the incentive to reach the next...
I think if you asked a hundred people, you'd get a hundred different responses to the question of what defines a comfortable lifestyle...it would be a very personal ideal.
Diane |
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