| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| ashcordes |
Posted - Jan 22 2007 : 08:12:07 AM
Am I the only one who feel like giving up and quitting all the things you do for everyone around the house and farm for about a week just to see what happens? I got chewed out this morning for calling our pig contractor and asking a question, a pertinent, has to do with how much $ we make question. My husband said it was a stupid question that I should have been able to answer myself. I work 40+ hours outside of the home, plus manage our farm, plus help out on the farm when needed, and take care of our one year old daughter, pretty much by myself the other hours that I'm not working in the day. I had 6 more calls to make that had to do with farm business and when I suggested he make them so I wouldn't ask one of those horribly embararssing stupid questions he didn't like it too much.
I would just like to see how far things would pile up if I didn't take care of them...the laundry, the dishes, quit making meals, quit paying bills, balancing checkbooks, keeping farm expenses separated from personal, the cleaning, the gift buying, the list goes on and on. I know that I am the woman, and most of these duties are seen as "mine" to take care of. I have no problem with that....but to do all this and have it be unappreciated, just makes it worthless to me. To have him come home and say, honey, I so appreciate how you did (fill in the blank) for me/the farm/our family today, thank you so much. That would make it all worth it. But I don't get to hear a word of thanks.
Sorry for "ranting" but I don't have anyone else I can talk to....anyone else ever feel this way?
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| 25 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| owwlady |
Posted - Jan 25 2007 : 12:13:07 AM
My sister tried that idea of not doing anything around the house to see what would happen...well, nothing did, no one helped out and she got so discouraged that she never really did catch up on things. Now the house is worse and she just doesn't have the energy anymore to take it all on again...she also works full-time, makes more than her husband and they rely on her healthcare benefits, so it's not like she just sits around doing nothing all day, but her "experiment" just backfired. She's just given up. |
| MsCwick |
Posted - Jan 24 2007 : 10:12:14 AM
Hey Ashley, I'm Cristine. I don't know if you read my post called "Sometimes I feel Like I don't DO enough" But I think that you and I are feeling the same way, and that our husbands might be similar too, and while I'm not going to tell you what you should or shouldn't do, I will tell you some of the things that have worked for me and my husband. Now, I don't have a baby, but I have found that emphasizing teamwork is helpful. Although you may want him to help you with this or that around the house, he may appreciate your help as well. Does he do NOTHING? Is there something that he does that you could help him with?? I have found with my husband that since he was not raised to be as responsible as I am, and since I can't just let him take the lead and make for more problems, that there are nice ways to "lead by example".
In your post you said "I" a lot and listed everything you do, but what about him? I'm not taking his side for being uninvolved but men do not see the things that need to be done like a woman, let alone a mother.
Why did you get married? Part of the reason that we all get married is because 2 is better than 1.
Men do not think like women. He may not see the clothes on the floor or the bills waiting to be paid. But if you take it upon yourself and do it for your marriage and do it for God. In the end, it is only up to Him. For example, I am perfectly capable of getting the woodstove going, but I will let it get freezing cold when I am at home all day and when my husband comes home and builds a fire, I intentionally wait until he is home to start carrying wood up, and it never fails that he'll come help without being asked. Maybe you are just doing TOO much? I call josh and I'm like "hey baby, can you do something really sweet for me when you get home? I need a strong man to help me out? I would really appreciate it if you carried the bag of feed to the shed for me. " And then it clicks in his head that I need him because I am the weaker vessel, and we have talked about why we are together time and time again, but it is because there are certain qualities that I lack that he has, and there are things he lacks that I have. There are some things that men have no concept of. Can you pick one night a week for you to cook and him to do dishes? And for God's sake, reward him. Appreciating a man is KEY!!! Men need to feel like they are super appreciated for some reason, mainly because they really do so much.
Do you want to stand out? Then step down. Be a servant. if you puff yourself up, you'll get the wind knocked out of you. But if you're content to simply be yourself, your life will count for plenty"
-Matthew 23:11-12
We want our lives to count for something. Jesus' prescription however seems backward compared to prevailing definitions of success. He teaches us that we win not by gaining but by giving, not by standing up but by stepping down. Pretending to be something we aren't or trying to camoflouge our limitations doesn't cut it when it comes to God.
Once we've learned to accept ourselves as we are - weaknesses and strengths, irritating and lovely habits alike, we've taken a giant step toward making our lives count for plenty. That's a necessary prelude for receiving and using the gifts God has givven us.
Her children rise up and call her happy; her husband too, and he praises her.
-Proverbs 31-28
Complimenting your spouse is the best reward you can give for what he or she does. We easily give compliments to our neighbors and to friends; yet often we take those closest to us for granted. One way to change this pattern is the think of at least one thing each day you can say in a complimentary way to your partner. Sometimes you might want to express that compliment in the form of a telephone call, or a note left on the kitchen counter of an email. Remember however, that compliments should be genuine and sincere, not superficial or artificial. In you give the compliment face to face, offering a hug or kiss afterward is like icing on the cake. Sharing such compliments when children or relatives are present can mean even more. It's a way to say "thank you" and "I love you" at the same time.
-Excerpts from 365 Meditations for Couples :) |
| asnedecor |
Posted - Jan 24 2007 : 06:58:41 AM
Ashley -
I do not have as many things to do as you (you have more then a person's share), but I have gone on "strike" so to speak. I work a fulltime job outside of the home, I do the grocery shopping, laundry, clean house, yard work, etc. Plus we have an old house so when we are doing any remodeling I also am in charge of call contractors, doing plastering, painting, etc. DH has his own business that he runs, which he spends a lot of time at, but there are times when I feel he thinks that is the only thing he needs to do. One day I finally had enough - I was tired, sore from working in the yard, etc. I stopped doing the dishes (we have no dishwasher, they have to be done by hand), stopped cleaning and stopped making dinner. When DH asked what was going on, I said I was on Strike! He got the hint. Since then he is much better on pulling his load.
Anne in Portland
"Weeds are flowers too, once you get to know them" Eyeore from Winnie the Pooh
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| windypines |
Posted - Jan 24 2007 : 05:39:00 AM
It is so good to see so much support. For me it is helpful to know I am not alone in feeling how I do sometimes. I would like to just runaway somedays, but I figured when I came back, I would have twice the amount of work to catch up on. My husbands take on it all is, he goes out and "works" and makes the money that pays the bills, that is enough. !@#$%$$#@@ Michele |
| faithymom |
Posted - Jan 23 2007 : 12:51:22 PM
Patti-
The Five Love Languages is a great book!
Along with His Needs, Her Needs
and my personal fave: Sex Begins in the Kitchen
It's cool, because if you read His Needs, Her Needs, then 5 L. L. and then S.B.i.t.K.
you can see how they have built upon the previous one, while remaining pertinent.
"All television is educational television. The only question is, what is it teaching?"-Fmr. FCC Commissioner Nicholas Johnson |
| Rosemary |
Posted - Jan 23 2007 : 12:30:59 PM
Why do we spend so much of our lives making excuses for men who treat us like crap? His mother picked up after him, so he's allowed to be a slob for the rest of his life? Horse hockey! He's a grown-up now! If nothing else, he's been to a few movies that make fun of guys like that! He KNOWS better. Trust me.
Calling a wife "stupid" is abusive. Period. Let him get away with that and before you know it, the abuse will get worse. Sorry, honey. You have to get a grip on why you are putting up with being worked like a pack mule and put away wet. Then sit down with your man and talk it out.
A new baby in the household (and the insecurities your man may feel as a result of having been cheated out of learning basic life skills in his youth) could be putting stresses on him that are busting out in the form of this verbal abuse -- and the stresses on you are just busting out. No one could handle all that you handle and not bust.
If your marriage is to get unbusted, you're both going to have to face some facts. There's only so much one woman can do. If he can't help you because he's got too much on his plate, too, then you both need to reevaluate your priorities and see what tasks you can live without doing, or what you might be able to "farm out."
It might help you both to talk to a good counselor for guidance on how to manage your complicated life more reasonably so you both get out of it what you really want most. If he won't go with you, go by yourself. You need the support of a knowledgeable, impartial pro. |
| Horseyrider |
Posted - Jan 23 2007 : 10:53:57 AM
quote:
Do any of you think that how your husband treats you has a ton to do with how he was raised? My husband's mother did EVERYTHING for him....he doesn't know how to cook, do laundry, anything...and it drives me INSANE!!!! He would take his clothes off at night, lay them on the floor of his bedroom...and she would go in everyday and pick them up off the floor wash them, fold them, and have them hung back up or put back in his dresser...so guess what he expects me to do...oh yeah, she did it so why can't I?
Oooh Ashley, I just saw this part! I apologize; that does change a lot! Yes, how a mom raises her sons (and the kind of role model his father was) has EVERYTHING to do with how a boy grows up! I cautioned my daughters as my mother cautioned me: Don't marry a guy if you couldn't be his mother married to his father. When push comes to shove, people always default to what they know. And that's what they've seen.
I would first suggest not arguing about it and just explaining that you are not his mother; she does things differently. And *this* is what you need from him. If he complains about how things aren't done, offer to teach him. He can be part of the problem, or part of the solution. If he refuses, you may find that it's not about the laundry; he may be more invested in control issues. |
| Horseyrider |
Posted - Jan 23 2007 : 10:42:55 AM
First, in all fairness, if he told you before you were married that he would always farm, then believe him! He was telling you the truth! This should not be a surprise to anyone. I told my husband before we were married that I would always need to live in the country. I've made some concessions from time to time, but he had the good foresight to believe me.
Second, I can't imagine my hubby ever calling me stupid. Not for any reason. That's demeaning, and he was raised to lift up his spouse, not put her down. After almost thirty years, he has never made a demeaning statement toward me. Thanks, in-laws! 
My kids are grown and gone, but sometimes the work here piles up and I don't get to it all. My hubby's pretty easy going, but if he questions it he knows what I'll likely say. There is no men's work or women's work; it's all WORK. And other than procreative activities or breastfeeding, there really *are* no gender specific activities. So if the floor needs sweeping and he doesn't like it, he can get the broom and do it himself.
There aren't many days where he doesn't have a hot homemade meal waiting for him when he comes home, and there also aren't very many days where he isn't right there helping me with whatever needs doing. And those days when he chooses to sit on his duff and take a break, I don't mind; because there are enough other days when he's right there helping. But since men are simple creatures and need help connecting the dots, if I need help with something, I tell him. If he can, he will. It's really pretty simple, at least around here.
We teach people how to treat us. I insist on being treated well. |
| willowtreecreek |
Posted - Jan 23 2007 : 08:16:38 AM
Ashley that is it 100% I totally agree with you! MOTHERS please don't "BABY" your little boys!
Jewelry, art, baskets, etc.
www.willowtreecreek.com |
| KYgurlsrbest |
Posted - Jan 23 2007 : 07:33:13 AM
Ok....here we go.
Sure, Ash--we're all a product of our upbringing. I'm a total martyr and I'm completely insecure about almost everything(thanks, Mom), and I cut people out of my life if they make me angry (thanks Dad). When I was growing up, I remember my mother yelling at me, "I hope you marry someone as messy as you!!!" And, I did, only now I take care of my stuff.
It's difficult because we're not there in your household, but my husband actually revels in NOT picking up because my MIL was a "nazi" (his word) about house cleaning when he was growing up. When we married, they weren't speaking, so I didn't get her side of the story, but her ex-husband pokes fun at her still for her OCD "cleaning disorder", so I guess it might be accurate. Either way, I've found that the less gripy I am, the better (for both of us, frankly). I can think, deduce, and play detective about the "why doesn't he just do this", but what makes it better is actually speaking up. I don't know about all the pussy- footing around and picking the right time to talk about it, but I do know that when I say, "Hey hon, I need you to feed the dogs while I wash up these dishes..." he does it. It's when I don't say anything and expect him to be a mindreader, he disappoints me--because I set him up to.
I did some counseling for myself a few years back, and what I found out about my shortcomings in relationships is that I always assume. I assume he doesn't want to help me, I assume he's lazy--that he wants to "keep me down" and I think that all he sees me as is a moneymachine, cook and cleaning lady--but that's rather unfair, isn't it? I was independent when I met and married him and I'll bet he still sees me in that light because I rarely ask for his help (and then I talk under my breath).
I think the commonality in this thread is communication. It's sucks to have to confront someone, but if you keep it concise, and be honest (and don't manipulate), you might get your point across. Sit down and make a list of the "can live with" "can't live with"--what you really want--is it help, or recognition? Both are valid.
Good luck.
Just think of all of the roads there are...all of the things I haven't seen....yet. |
| happymama58 |
Posted - Jan 23 2007 : 06:19:20 AM
Ashley, I agree. I love my mil and she's a great woman -- works hard, never (not even once in the almost-23 yrs I've been married to her son) interferes or offers the slightest advice unless I specifically ask her opinion, etc. -- but she was the same way. Her 3 boys didn't make their own beds because they weren't allowed to -- she wanted it done "right", so she wanted to do it. My husband, the middle son, does tons of stuff around the house and even cooks and does laundry, but neither of his brothers do. But to tell you the truth, it's not because of me and some magic technique I used when we got married. Evidently, he's just the one who had the gumption/motivation to be more helpful, even without being asked or told. I'm really blessed in that regard!
Some people search for happiness; others create it.
http://happymama58.typepad.com/my_weblog/
Please visit me at www.marykay.com/pmiinch |
| ashcordes |
Posted - Jan 23 2007 : 05:49:09 AM
Do any of you think that how your husband treats you has a ton to do with how he was raised? My husband's mother did EVERYTHING for him....he doesn't know how to cook, do laundry, anything...and it drives me INSANE!!!! He would take his clothes off at night, lay them on the floor of his bedroom...and she would go in everyday and pick them up off the floor wash them, fold them, and have them hung back up or put back in his dresser...so guess what he expects me to do...oh yeah, she did it so why can't I? She also made a 5 course meal every nigh for supper. Well, I'm sorry, but my butt has worked all day outside of the house, I've still got 3 loads of laundry that needs done, a baby to care for, and I'd like to have 5 minutes for myself. I've already told him that if we ever have a son he's going to know how to do everything around the house...then there's no excuse not to help out because he'll know how to. |
| happymama58 |
Posted - Jan 22 2007 : 9:26:33 PM
I used to feel this way quite often, but one day after I quit fuming to myself, I heard a small voice inside me say, "Yes, but when was the last time you told Steve you appreciate what he does?" Of course, I had all sorts of comebacks -- I give him hugs, ask him how his day went, etc., but then I thought of a study our Sunday School class had done on the book The Five Love Languages.
In that study, we learned (and it makes perfect sense) that all of us have a dominant love language, and we tend to speak to others the love language that we want spoken to us. But if our partners don't desire or hear that same language, our efforts really don't sink in. My husband has a different love language than I do, and since then I've made an effort to express my love, affection, respect, etc., in ways he recognizes it.
WHat about me? Well, he was in Sunday School every week of that study, too. So sometimes, when I'm starting to feel unappreciated but before I get too fed up, I tell him -- nicely and at a "good time" -- that I need to know that we're a team and that he appreciates what I do, and I remind him to speak in my language. That usually gets a laugh out of even my unromantic husband and he gets the point.
Before you think I'm real philosophical and idealistic, I'm not. And when we started the study, I was doing all sorts of internal eye-rolling!  But I quickly recognized, from years of working with 150+ kids a year as well as seeing what my own 2 kids, friends, etc., respond to, that this love language stuff made perfect sense.
Do I still blow it, feel like nobody understands or appreciates me, blow my stack, have a pity party, etc.? You bet. But it happens so rarely now that it's wonderful. I'm happier and so is everyone around me.
Okay, sorry to preach, but I've been where you are, except dh was in the military & deployed much of the time and I was home with a baby and toddler. I felt like I worked my butt off and got little if any recognition or respect. This book made a real difference for me.
What if your dh won't read the book? I know several ladies who've read the book and started applying what they learned about their husband's language. Each one of them said they slowly noticed their husband's change in attitude and 2 or 3 of them said their husbands eventually read the book, too!
Anyway, I understand, and I just thought I'd offer an idea that might work for you. I hope things get better, no matter how you choose to handle this. {hugs}
Some people search for happiness; others create it.
http://happymama58.typepad.com/my_weblog/
Please visit me at www.marykay.com/pmiinch |
| KYgurlsrbest |
Posted - Jan 22 2007 : 8:39:22 PM
I'd like to say that I have magic words, but I don't. I hate that you feel this way, and it will pass. Lord only knows what was on his mind, and it's no excuse, but I find I'm usually on the receiving end of something that has NOTHING to do with me...We've been married for almost six years, and I can honestly say I think I'm getting worse at communicating! Bramble and the other gals are right, though, speak up--don't wait until you're so mad you could spit. I'm not sure what the term is for it, but it sure gets me in a lot of trouble. A lot of times, I'll hear him ask me if he can do anything and I always decline. It's when he DOESN'T ask me that I get ticked. I don't know, but I'm sure if you thought about it, you'll find a good middleground. Now, if you tell him what you need and your needs go unmet, then you can spit ;)
It's terrible to feel like you're the one giving all the time, doing it all....So,the way I function now, is it gets done when I get it done, and not in anyone else's time. I used to feel like I had to be this perfect wife, all pretty when he comes home and the house spotless, and then I tried to think of something that he had done for me lately--not roses or anything like that--did he fix the bathroom sink like I asked (no,it still drips and there's a bucket underneath)....and couldn't. He's oblivious, though--never says, this place is a mess or could someone do some silverware? I really think he knows better :)
I'm not saying that I'm thrilled with our existence, but I have to admit that when I stopped being so hard on myself, things got a little easier. Some things are just NOT that important and will be there when you wake up tomorrow, whether you want them to be or not!.
Just think of all of the roads there are...all of the things I haven't seen....yet. |
| Tina Michelle |
Posted - Jan 22 2007 : 5:36:57 PM
Best of wishes to you. I hope you can find the time to communicate with your husband. Don't really have any advice, just have seen a few women this week and the past few weeks really struggling with their feelings towards their husband's.I hope that you all can work things out to a happier outcome.
Best of wishes to you all.
~Seize the Day! Live, Love, Laugh~ |
| willowtreecreek |
Posted - Jan 22 2007 : 5:12:08 PM
Oh I feel this way and I just have a husband.no kids. He makes me so mad sometimes and I think "BOY would you miss me if I wasn't around to do this or that" and then I realize he would just run next door to his mom and she would make it ALL better ) A WHOLE OTHER STORY)! And I think that would make even more made so I just grind my teeth and go on!
Jewelry, art, baskets, etc.
www.willowtreecreek.com |
| blueroses |
Posted - Jan 22 2007 : 3:27:41 PM
All I can say is that if my man said something like that to me,he'd be wearing pig slop! I'm like Laura, but I can't help it either. I don't mind joking around and my dh & I like to tease each other, but that just isn't nice. I'm sorry guys....
"You cannot find peace...by avoiding life."
Virginia Woolfe |
| horse |
Posted - Jan 22 2007 : 2:48:49 PM
I got to thinking, ya'll probably think I'm crazy. I wish I could be as meek minded as some of ya'll. I have always been blunt to the point and out spoken about things and BOY, has it ever got me into alot of trouble. So , if I say something stupid or out of the way, I apologize. Mu granddad always told me that you can gather more with honey than with bitter. I need to work on that
Laura
www.2lmzfarms.blogspot.com |
| horse |
Posted - Jan 22 2007 : 2:37:14 PM
Ashley, sending you my love. Hope things get better. I believe we all can say we have or still are in your shoes. I know I feel like that sometimes. I married an older man and when I say something about money issues he always says that he made his living the first go around. That just burns my tail. He might have made a living with his first wife but hello, now he has another family. As far as the farm goes, ha, I'm the one who does it all. He has a question about HIS cows , he asks me. I'm the one who tends to everything. From haying , feeding, doctoring, breeding, to everything in the house. I wish you the best and will be thinking of you. Take care of yourself , and we are all here for you.
Laura
www.2lmzfarms.blogspot.com |
| Past Blessings |
Posted - Jan 22 2007 : 2:20:39 PM
So sorry you are feeling unappreciated and overworked . . . not a fun place to be. I think talking to your husband is a great idea, but do it in a non-attacking way. Don't start out with "You always make me feel . . . " as that sounds blaming and attacking and will put him on the defense. Instead, tell him how it makes you feel. Say, "Honey, when you tell me the questions I ask are stupid, you make me feel embarrassed and belittled. Can you please tell me your concerns a little gentler next time?" The response from him will be a lot different.
As for being appreciated, that is an age old problem. Do your best so that you can have pride in your work. You may never get praise. We can't be in it for that reason. Few men are like the Lifetime made for TV movies. They are insensitve and just don't get how important appreciation is to a woman. Once again, if you can tell your husband something like, "You know, it really helps motivate me and makes me feel appreciated when you notice and compliment the things I do. I know it might seem silly to you, but I really love hearing it." A gentle approach will usually bring a gentle response. If you respond in anger, it will only add fuel to the fire and you will feel that much worse. Also, if you begin giving him compliments, it will make it easier for him to reciprocate. I have heard other women complain of this same thing and then you observe them and see that they are never giving compliments either. It is a two way street. Focus on speaking blessings to your husband. You might be surprised at the blessings you get in return, that you didn't even ask for. With Kind thoughts . . .
Brenda
Past Blessings . . . Celebrating Life as it used to be . . . when people loved God, loved their families and loved their country. |
| Mumof3 |
Posted - Jan 22 2007 : 1:17:56 PM
I sort of know how you feel. At different points of my life I have wondered why I do what I do. And then I remember that I have people relying on me as well as myself! So I try to look at the good things that I have and I remember to always focus on the best things about my husband. Sometimes I think we get caught up in the negative things and forget that there are positive things there. Not that this excuses bad behavior, but it does help a lot. (Forgiveness is a very underrated act that benefits the forgiver more than the forgivee!)
I'm not saying that I don't stage my own mini rebellions at times- I do. Like not cleaning the bathroom when it is exceptionally grotty and no one has picked up after themselves. You know, just being piggy. It sure does not take long for SOMEONE to get the message! :)
I think Nancy Jo has the right idea. You need to articulate yourself in a way that he will really understand that you need help. Marriage is supposed to be an equal partnership, with both spouses helping each other. You're a team, not a dictatorship. It will take a while, but I bet he will get the message.
Good luck, sweetness.
Karin |
| ashcordes |
Posted - Jan 22 2007 : 12:43:13 PM
Thanks for all your help....I guess I should have known when he told me about two weeks before our wedding that he WOULD farm whether it was what I wanted or not...I should have known then that I and what I wanted for my life would never matter. Now I feel stuck because of our daughter...and I've been feeling the symptoms lately of being pregnant again. Just don't know what to do. I'm diabetic too, which doesn't help the situation...all the stress makes my sugars higher. |
| lamamama |
Posted - Jan 22 2007 : 10:40:53 AM
Oh gosh, Ashley........ so sorry you had your last thread snapped. I'm positive just about every single one of us has felt like this @ some point. I will admit that I certainly have felt that way - more times than is probably healthy. And I would be embarrassed to detail a few of my theatrical displays ("meltdowns") - although I could possibly get an Oscar nomination for a few of those performances. ;)
You' ve got so much on your plate right now.....maybe a little too much. What has has helped me - and this is still a work in progress, believe me - is to get my priorites straight. So much of what we try to do each & everyday can just wait. Especially when you have a one year old! And I would like to echo what Bramble said. It is a pro-active approach, instead of a re-active approach. And as everyone knows, but we Moms so little do - is take care of yourself. Both physically & mentally.
Hang in there, farmgirl........
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| faithymom |
Posted - Jan 22 2007 : 09:56:26 AM
I'm sorry, Ashley.
You have a lot on your plate.
I am amazed at all of it. I have 3 kids and a house to take care of and I usually don't get the cleaning part of that done.
My hubby and I usually fight over housework and stuff, but it's 'cause I don't do it.
He had a doozy on Saturday morning!!! Then yesterday...helped me clean the kitchen!!
I can surely sympathize with feeling unappreciated. But remember...the things you do for your daughter are things that really matter, even if she herself can't thank you for them. It would be nice to receive the well-earned appreciation, but don't measure the value of your 'home'-work by who notices it.
Is there any way that you could cut back on the amount of things you have to do?
What is the response when you ask for help, usually?
I would try to delegate...Do you have a 'honey-do' list?
Stick with it!
Faith
"All television is educational television. The only question is, what is it teaching?"-Fmr. FCC Commissioner Nicholas Johnson |
| bramble |
Posted - Jan 22 2007 : 09:53:32 AM
Communication seems to be the key. Do you ever ask for help? Or do you wait until you are fed up and angry? I used to wait until I could do no more and then be in a really bad mood that no one ever seemed to understand.( And I DO have a helping husband!) Now I just delegate and tell everyone what I need them to help me with. Men are seemingly wired differently, or atleast they are perception/vision deprived! I remember my husband after a particularly frustrating time saying "If you had just told me, I would have done it!" Duh! The point was I expected him to "just know" what I needed help with and didn't want to have to tell him. I am teaching a rather reluctant 13 year old how to do for himself so that someday his wife won't ever say "Why did you raise him like this?!" Good luck Ashley, I hope your dh is receptive to what you have to say. And tell him you didn't appreciate the stupid comment either!
with a happy heart |
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