| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| knittingmom |
Posted - Jun 13 2014 : 4:09:01 PM
I'm expecting baby No.5 and wonder why people are foregoing the traditional "congratulations" and instead asking if I'm happy about it, if my husband is happy about it, commenting inappropriately family planning.
I guess it bothers me a bit because I don't comment about the amount of children a family. I view new life as a blessing and something to be celebrated not be sad about.
Farmgirl Sister #3759
"There is no foot so small that it cannot leave an imprint on this world"
"The things that matter most are not really things after all" |
| 22 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| rough start farmgirl |
Posted - Sep 11 2014 : 09:15:51 AM
It must be a bit sad to not have the same fanfare for this child. Each one is so different and special. A new baby, whether long awaited or a complete surprise, should be celebrated fully. Heartfelt congratulations to your entire family!!
Marianne |
| Autumn |
Posted - Sep 03 2014 : 6:03:21 PM
I don't want children personally, I really don't like kids or babies. That being said, I still congratulate people when they have kids, because it seems to make them happy, so whatever. But, I can kind of understand why someone might ask you if this was planned or not, because five kids is pretty big. Growing up I never knew families that big. Usually it's 1-3 kids and three is considered a lot. Maybe it's different for where you're from, but if not that might explain why some people question it. I saw a lady with a group of kids the other day and almost did a double take when I realized they were all her children. All I could think was good lord that's a lot to handle. If you have it in you to do that sort of thing then all the power to you, but I know people who are on the brink of having an aneurysm with only two kids. I'm sure many of the questions you're getting are just out of concern, people aren't always talented at the way they word things.
On the other side of this, I know people from bigger families now, and from what I've heard it was always worse for the kids because a lot of them ended up feeling emotionally neglected. I think to be fair to the children a family shouldn't be any larger than five kids, and if it is it should be really, really spread out. I know a guy from a family of nine kids and although I'm sure he'd love to say it, I don't think he has it in him to tell his mother that he experienced frustration being in a big family. |
| cajungal |
Posted - Sep 02 2014 : 7:57:45 PM
Absolutely worth it!! I'm sure it's difficult to add more things for you to do like glucose testing and shots. Sounds like you're keeping a good attitude. Keep us posted.
One of the best compliments from one of my daughters: "Moma, you smell good...like dirt." |
| knittingmom |
Posted - Sep 01 2014 : 6:00:12 PM
Thanks gals for all your words of encouragement.
Catherine, I'm doing ok. Getting bigger but have been diagnosed with gestational diabetes (which isn't so rare considering I'm pudgy and well, over 40). Anyway I get to give myself a couple of injections, test my glucose and watch what I eat like a hawk. Anyway it will be worth it in the end.
Farmgirl Sister #3759
"There is no foot so small that it cannot leave an imprint on this world"
"The things that matter most are not really things after all" |
| cajungal |
Posted - Aug 29 2014 : 12:52:12 PM
AnneMarie, Huge Congrats! Children are a Blessing. How fantastic to be adding to your family.
It was June when you posted this. It's almost September...how are you feeling?
One of the best compliments from one of my daughters: "Moma, you smell good...like dirt." |
| texdane |
Posted - Aug 28 2014 : 04:06:54 AM
Congratulations!!!! You are so blessed. As for rude people, I wanted a house full, but God gave me one. Those same rude people have plenty to say about that, too. Don't let uncouth people rain on your happiness.
Farmgirl hugs,
Nicole
Farmgirl Sister #1155
KNITTER, JAM-MAKER AND MOM EXTRAORDINAIRE
Chapter Leader, Connecticut Simpler Life Sisters
Farmgirl of the Month, January 2013
Suburban Farmgirl Blogger
http://sfgblog.maryjanesfarm.org/ |
| lorizspr |
Posted - Aug 27 2014 : 9:09:54 PM
After 18 years of trying to become pregnant, then completely giving up, I finally got pregnant at age 40, and delivered my beautiful daughter at the age of 41! I always hoped for at least 4 children, but we were very blessed with just 1. She will be 21 in just a few months, and has given us more joy and happiness than we could ever have imagined! I agree that God will bless you with as many children as he sees fit, and each one is a divine gift, and congratulations should always be voiced. The size of a family is no one's business, and people should really learn some manners!
Lori |
| YellowRose |
Posted - Aug 27 2014 : 05:30:12 AM
Congratulations is such a beautiful word and words do have power. So to all you expectant mothers congratulations.
As for rude people we have them with us always. I try not to give them power over me to hurt me. I'm not always successful but I am getting better at it.
Sara
Walk in Peace - Live with Joy
FarmGirl Sister #6034 Aug 25, 2014 |
| hudsonsinaf |
Posted - Aug 27 2014 : 05:07:21 AM
I don't think people realize how traumatic miscarriages are until they have one! I have a friend that had a miscarriage and has lost a baby a few days after birth. She says that the miscarriage was harder, because she was at least able to hold the other baby and love on it, though for only a short while. I am not certain I would have the same outlook, that a miscarriage is more difficult than losing my child later in life, but a miscarriage is still the loss of a child! It hurts! To all the mommies that have lost a child... Be it a miscarriage or after birth, my heart goes out to you! And to those that are pregnant, congratulations!
My hubby's comment to people now when they question the number of children we have, is that he wanted to see more beautiful people in the world :D
~ Shannon
http://hudson-everydayblessings.blogspot.com/ |
| MagnoliaWhisper |
Posted - Aug 26 2014 : 7:53:50 PM
CONGRATS! I am also preggo with number 5! and experiencing the same thing. Weird thing is, I come from a large family (oldest of 18 children). And yet, I am still getting things like, so is some one going to get fixed after this... um no it's against our religion.... and all kinds of things. The people I thought would be happy about it, are not. My mom is worried about my health-yes drs have said things... but truthfully it's no more risky then others either....
Any way... I totally get you!
I've also miscarried (at 22 weeks) and it was the hardest thing I EVER experienced in life.
http://www.heathersprairie.blogspot.com |
| Bear5 |
Posted - Jul 16 2014 : 2:13:03 PM
Congratulations Anna Marie!!!!! Keep us posted. I wouldn't be too concerned about who is not asking you those questions. I guess it's easy for me to say that, I only have one child. I wish I would have had five or six. Congrats to all of your family.
Marly
"It's only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on earth- and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up- that we will begin to live each day to the fullest, as if it was the only one we had." Elisabeth Kurler-Ross |
| hudsonsinaf |
Posted - Jun 28 2014 : 06:11:33 AM
Laura - I am so sorry! Miscarriages are hard! We've had four... two between my oldest two, then we lost my 3rd child's twin (sadly they call that a vanishing twin as if it is some type of magic trick), and our fourth was before we got pregnant with our 6th child. I'll never understand people's crass comments... not when you have lost a child nor when you are expecting!!! I agree that children are a blessing :)
~ Shannon
http://hudson-everydayblessings.blogspot.com/ |
| Audra Rose |
Posted - Jun 27 2014 : 9:26:09 PM
Isn't it sad that people find it easier to be critical than to be happy for you? Darlin', I'm so sorry for the loss of you little one.
Doxie Mom - Everyone loves a Weiner!
Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. |
| LaLa |
Posted - Jun 19 2014 : 7:35:45 PM
First off, the traditional Full House "...how RUDE" comes to mind.
When I was a child, I wanted 18 kids. As I got older, I discovered that my enjoyment of children got in the way... my parents nearly adopted another child until there was a fallen out with her mother, and we rarely ever spoke again. I watched that baby grow from 0 - a year... So, I backed away, and I have little to nothing to do with children unless they belong to someone VERY close to me.
In 2010, I had an early (pre-end-of-1st-trimester) miscarriage. I couldn't tell anyone other than DH about it. In 2012, I almost told my family, but someone made a rude comment about a friend's similar loss, and I decided against it. Not only was the comment rude, but, I had already had several people be skeptical about whether or not I was actually pregnant... I didn't want to hear that again.
I'm happy we don't have children right now (though I admit a little sad, too... I don't want to be a first time mother at 40). There are the obvious reasons (our circumstances) and there's the fact that I feel we're just starting to live. I'm realizing that I'm much more open to travel than I used to be. In taking the time to look more closely at my priorities and characteristics, I'm finding that I got so busy trying to figure out who I was, I ignored the fact that I was standing right there the whole time. I'm literally the punch-line to the joke, "I've gone out to find myself. If I come back before I return, please keep me here." Regrettably, that's a lot of time wasted, but I'm so thankful to be back on track now. I look forward to the possibility of having children some day -- though I don't think it'll be 18, haha.
Children ARE a blessing. Don't let anyone dampen your spirits. A sincere, and hearty, CONGRATULATIONS!
http://lalauland.tumblr.com
http://lalauland.etsy.com
Follow me on Twitter: @lalauland
DH and I share a blog: http://wesubtleties.tumblr.com
Follow on Twitter: @wesubtleties |
| churunga |
Posted - Jun 15 2014 : 09:19:14 AM
I had decided at the age of 10 that I didn't want to have children. I don't know why. Now at the age of 53, I wonder how my life would have been if I would have left that possibility open: Would I have married Fritz and moved to the Pacific Northwest when he became a professor? Would I have had such a struggle with mental illness if I had gotten that huge injection of oxytocin? Would I have been a good mother? I do have a small amount of regret. I believe that parents are the bravest people in the world. I know I could not be that brave.
Tina, I can't imagine the heartbreak of the loss of a child. I am crying right now. <Sorry> It is the saddest thing in the world.
Marie, Sister #5142
Farmgirl of the Month May 2014
Try everything once and the fun things twice. |
| knittingmom |
Posted - Jun 15 2014 : 08:18:43 AM
Thanks gals for the words of encouragement.
Tina, I am so sorry for your loss and that people were so callous. There are those out there who certainly have rocks for brains.
Farmgirl Sister #3759
"There is no foot so small that it cannot leave an imprint on this world"
"The things that matter most are not really things after all" |
| hudsonsinaf |
Posted - Jun 14 2014 : 7:02:35 PM
Congratulations on your baby :) we have six, and strongly believe that God opened my womb and God will close it. But boy have we heard a lot of those comments! Even from my father! I have started being a little more quick witted, but honestly most of the time I am just dumb founded at people's comments! I always get ticked when people ask if they are all ours and when we say yes, they verify we are the biological mother AND father to all of them.
Tina - I am so so sorry! It is one thing to have people be rude when you are blessed with another child... It is a whole different ball game when you have lost one!
(((hugs))) to you both!
~ Shannon
http://hudson-everydayblessings.blogspot.com/ |
| Cindy Lou |
Posted - Jun 14 2014 : 6:13:31 PM
Congratulations!
I've heard of this answer being used when a rude question is asked. "If you will forgive me for not answering, I'll forgive you for asking."
I have no ideas why people think they are entitled to ask anything that does (or doesn't) come into their mind. It come right up there with those who feel entitled to place their hand on a pregnant woman's "baby bump" without permission.
Susan
Susan
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?"
Mary Oliver |
| Ninibini |
Posted - Jun 14 2014 : 5:54:55 PM
I'm thrilled for you, AnneMarie! I wanted ten, even more, but it wasn't in God's plan for us. A tough thing to come to terms with, indeed. I really do look at children as a blessing, just like you do. To me, the sun always seems a little brighter when a new baby enters our lives. I think nowadays it's just so rare to see a family with more than one or two, or even three, children that people can't even imagine the joy of a larger family. If they only knew, huh? If they only knew... And it always amazes me how people say whatever comes to mind without giving any consideration to what they're saying or how it is received. Ugh... Well... Let's just say that the cynics have their reward; YOU enjoy YOURS to the fullest. :) God bless you and your family!
Tina, I'm so, so sorry for your heartbreaking loss and the crass way in which people treated you. Shame on them, truly. People can be so blind to the suffering of others, and so callous with their words and actions. You deserved love and comfort and to be cared for with utmost tenderness as you went through that life-altering experience. It breaks my heart that people said horrible things like that to you. You deserve so much better. God bless you and yours, too.
Hugs -
Nini
Farmgirl Sister #1974
God gave us two hands... one to help ourselves, and one to help others!
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| oldbittyhen |
Posted - Jun 14 2014 : 3:30:06 PM
I went thru peoples rude remarks when I was pregnant with my 3rd and 4th, "Why in the world would you want another one, Don't you know what causes that yet, How can you aford another one", it makes you want to smack them up side the head, and when our 5th was still born, people asked what did I do wrong to cause the baby to die...people can be sooo cruel and ignorant, don't let them get to you, they are not worth it...
"Knowlege is knowing that a tomato is a fruit, Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad" |
| Marybeth |
Posted - Jun 14 2014 : 3:20:13 PM
Congrats on #5. Planning is one thing whether you plan it or God does. A baby is always a miracle. MB
http://www.smallcityscenes.blogspot.com
www.day4plus.blogspot.com
"Life may not be the party we hoped for...but while we are here we might as well dance!" |
| traildancer |
Posted - Jun 14 2014 : 11:28:24 AM
Congratulations on the new addition to your family.
The trail is the thing.... Louis L'Amour |
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