| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| musicmommy |
Posted - Oct 29 2013 : 5:24:01 PM
We still have no approximate timeline in place. Although, talking to other adoptive parents, I don't think a timeline even exists anymore for adoptions.
So, here is where we are.
Our homestudy has been finalized and approved.
We have two more documents we are waiting on and then our dossier is ready to be sent in. One of those documents is from immigration. We went in last Monday for our fingerprinting so we could still be waiting several weeks to hear anything on that.
Once the dossier is sent in, our part is done. There is nothing more for us to do, but to sit here and wait for the governments to do their jobs. It's hard to believe that less than 5 months ago, I was looking at a huge, huge checklist and feeling so overwhelmed by everything and here we are.
The best part of all though? Tomorrow, our son finds out he's got a mom and dad and three brothers. He's going to see pictures of us. I hope we are what he's been dreaming of and hoping for because we are dreaming of him and hoping for him.
Here's hoping to both governments moving quickly now!
One good thing about music, when it hits you, you feel no pain.
Bob Marley
www.becomingwendy.wordpress.com |
| 7 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| Tall Holly |
Posted - Nov 30 2013 : 5:57:56 PM
Good evening,
Congratulations on your match. I hope you (as in family) and the boy bond quickly and easily. Adoption is a wonderful way to grow a family.
We have adopted several children as older children. We have never done international adoption. I think it is different in that in a domestic adoption there is usually a paper trail so the adopting parents know some of what led to the child being placed. I think that is more sketchy in international adoptions. That being said, I think you will need to be careful of his diet when he comes to you because the US eating habits are far richer than Ethiopia.
This young boy may never have seen a video game or watched TV. He may never have been around too many white people.
I do not know if you are a person of color but if you and your family are not then you should cultivate a place in the community of people of color. I have adopted transracially and my children have each other and some friends. Imagine a child coming from a culture where he is the norm to a culture where he is outstanding. it does not matter how accepting you and your family are if he does not have support when he goes to school or in his play group. You will need to be aware of slights to the child and how you will teach him to deal with them and how to teach the children around him to have sensitivity in areas they never thought about before.
I would read everything I could get my hands on about attachment. I have learned over the years that this is the most important part of parenting through adoption because without it there are so many opportunities for nastiness that can not be remedied. Our two newest sons came a year ago in January. They were throw away children and we have worked very hard over the last year to get them to believe they are valued. We have not even left the tip of the ice berg in healing their hurt. I would recommend Holly van Gulden as an author you should read. She has two books out and both are older but they give hope. There is also Daniel Hughes who has a number of books on attachment who gives hope.
If there is a post adoption support network in your area you should contact them and make friends. You should find out about the English as a second language program in your area.
If you are not a person of color learn about hair and skin care for black children.
So, I have now given you some of my two cents. I hope you are not offended. I truly believe that good hearted people should go into adoption with their eyes wide open.
Ask me any questions you might have.
Holly
farmgirl #2499
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| musicmommy |
Posted - Oct 30 2013 : 4:41:59 PM
Thank you for those thoughts Shanda. I hadn't really thought about it that way. We've been through several trainings and such, but they tend to focus on how to handle things. To remember that coming here is going to be scary for him. Our social worker has encouraged us to go ahead and let the boys play more video games with our new son than we usually allow because it is a way for them to connect non-verbally which can be a good thing with their ages. Definitely lots to learn!
One good thing about music, when it hits you, you feel no pain.
Bob Marley
www.becomingwendy.wordpress.com |
| Penny Wise |
Posted - Oct 30 2013 : 2:25:01 PM
I think that those are wonderful observations Shanda!
I was adopted at birth so I am part of the triad-and found my birth parents in 2000 and 2001.
best wishes to the new family!!!!! give yourselves time and always love!
Farmgirl # 2139
proud member of the Farmgirls of the Southwest Henhouse
~*~ counting my pennies; my dreams are adding up!~*~ |
| shanda |
Posted - Oct 30 2013 : 1:36:44 PM
Adoption is a long process! Congrats!
One thing that surprised me: I thought when my daughter came "home" the bond would be instant, like holding my birth son for the first time. But I learn that even though I loved her instantly, the parent bond took time to grow. I guess like the growing of a pregnancy. We had to build traditions and memories. The more we did, the more we bonded. I was hard on myself for not bonding sooner, but then learned that this was common. (and sibs can take even longer) So take your time and enjoy the "making friends" time....soon your family will be bonded better than crazy glue!
Blessings!
Shanda
Farmgirl #4233 |
| FieldsofThyme |
Posted - Oct 30 2013 : 04:17:43 AM
Oh Wendy, sending up prayers too. How exciting for you and your family.
Farmgirl Sister #800
My Family and My Crazy Life: http://pioneerwomanatheart.blogspot.com/
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2011 Farmgirl of the Year
July 2012 Farmgirl of the Month
Farmgirl #800
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| musicmommy |
Posted - Oct 29 2013 : 6:08:17 PM
Thank you Margo! He is in Ethiopia and just turned 8. Next year we want to celebrate his birthday here!
One good thing about music, when it hits you, you feel no pain.
Bob Marley
www.becomingwendy.wordpress.com |
| Penny Wise |
Posted - Oct 29 2013 : 5:42:07 PM
wendy-i'm sorry, I haven't been following--where is your son coming from?
i'll say a prayer that the rest of this can flow smoothly so that your family can soon be together and share in everything!
Farmgirl # 2139
proud member of the Farmgirls of the Southwest Henhouse
~*~ counting my pennies; my dreams are adding up!~*~ |
