| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| AFinkberry |
Posted - Sep 16 2013 : 12:01:09 AM
Encouragement! Today started out just fine. I took the baby into the city to run errands while DH and DS stayed home to work on finishing a few wood projects. When I got home, (which was around 6) there were multiple piles of dirty laundry on the floor in the kitchen. My first thought was 'What?' immediately followed by 'oh...they've sorted out the laundry for me! YAY, one less step!' Then, DH says the dreaded phrase "What's for dinner?" ACK!!! I hadn't even unloaded my groceries and I was trying to entertain a screaming hungry toddler! Made a snap decision to just heat up soup and handed off baby to DH while I put my groceries away! Then DH hands baby back and says he needs to go back to work on the projects again and he can't take the baby because of the paint fumes. OK, so I take the baby and on our way to the living room, I see a pile of stuff, (papers, plastic something-or-other, old shoebox) on our small dinning room table. OK, this stuff needed to be organized anyway! And now it is.....sort of. And then, in the living room...CLOTHES ON THE FLOOR!! Here's where I take a deep breath! OK....they've cleaned and folded laundry today! That's great! (but in the back of my mind I'm thinking, 'why is it all on the floor? Is it so difficult to at least put it on the couch?') So as I am scrambling to put the clothes on the couch (because putting them away at that moment was not possible) so the baby can play with his blocks while I finish putting together the soup, the little monster (and I say this with all of my love and affection!) starts kicking over the piles that I hadn't gotten to yet!!! *Enter my mental scream...* OK, blocks out. I'll just feed baby and get him ready for bed since it's approaching that time anyway. I pick up my fuzzy headed, screaming, teething, pile pushing monster and pop my head out the door to update DH on new plan. "OK, dear, that's fine!" Feed the baby a jar of baby food at the table (which is still covered in stuff) and as soon as he's done with his food, he starts pulling stuff off the table!! (Ready to pull my hair out at this point!) Wipe up face, clean up space, brush our teeth, bath time is out of the question because I just want to get him in bed at this point!!! As we are getting PJ's on, FIL calls on the phone, but I pushed the wrong button and hung up on him, so I go back outside to tell DH his dad called, but I hung up on accident... but also that I am putting baby to bed and he needs to come say goodnight! "OK, I'll be there to say goodnight when you finish the last book!" Alright, so we go to the bedroom, read FOUR books, nurse, and then swaddle and rocking time. No daddy. No goodnight. But he falls asleep very quickly, like I knew he would after our busy day! (Not too disappointed about daddy missing out on kisses.)
When I go to the kitchen to check on the soup (and add the last ingredients), DH makes a comment about how he already added the ingredient and if I was going to leave the job for someone else, then I should let them handle it. OK, deep breath, be happy that he's taking care of it, right? Well, wrong...I just felt so angry! This house was in disarray with projects that he started today and didn't finish!!! But how do I express my gratitude for him starting it and my annoyance for not finishing it at the same time? Ugh....this was not a good ending to a decent day.
I didn't handle the chaos very well today. Usually, I can....well....no, I can't. But it seemed like everything was chaotic all the same moment! And now I am in a depressed funk, feeling guilty for not feeling grateful, feeling like a failure because I should have had the laundry done yesterday, and feeling angry at myself for not being able to articulate how I feel with DH....he even said to me "I can see that you are upset. Please tell me what I can do to help you right now." And all I could do was just tell him I need a break and went to the store for some water. Which I did, but when I came back, I didn't feel any different, except maybe even more guilty for not working through it....
To be honest though, I DO feel much better just typing all this out! I know I'll get over this, but right now, I just feel unaccomplished. 
Ally
"There is no need for temples, no need for complicated philosophies. My brain and my heart are my temples; my philosophy is kindness." ~His Holiness the Dalai Lama |
| 2 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| Penny Wise |
Posted - Oct 22 2013 : 07:56:53 AM
oh gosh..i remember those days!
one thing that really jumped at me was your hubby's comment about the soup--you might say "touche`" to him ...
you did very well to attend to the lil one and then to remove yourself- a walkabout or a quiet read or just sitting alone can help!
hugs! wish I could say this will pass quickly.....!
Farmgirl # 2139
proud member of the Farmgirls of the Southwest Henhouse
~*~ counting my pennies; my dreams are adding up!~*~ |
| ddmashayekhi |
Posted - Sep 16 2013 : 05:18:55 AM
Ally, everyone has their breaking point and very understandably you had yours yesterday. You and your little one had a full day of errands and to come home to a disaster is the last thing you needed. From what you described, your husband left you a big mess and you would have been better off without his "help". I'm afraid he acted like a typical man! Quit beating yourself up over losing you temper, any normal person would have flipped at the point you did, or before that point. When you feel you are ready, have a chat with your husband and explain to him that unless he does the complete job, it is more work for you to step in and finish the work. One project at a time until it is completed will make life a lot smoother for all.
We've all been here. Just smile now, relax, it is over with. Hopefully your chat will prevent any future messes like this, if not, it will be a funny store to share with friends and relatives. Maybe then your husband will get it!
Enjoy today, I hope life is calmer for you!
Dawn in IL |
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