| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| Madelena |
Posted - Dec 26 2012 : 04:09:58 AM
After Connecticut (yet another horrendous act of violence against our chilren)... I wanted to make sure that I "doubled-down" on love for my kids and grandkids.
I WANT THEM ALL TO KNOW THEY ARE GREATLY LOVED !!!!
So today, I was on facebook and saw a post by my 12 year old GD. She was going to her "awesome" grandma's for Christmas Eve. It saddened me to see that I wasn't the one she was talking about. I want to be an awesome grannie too !!!
I am SOLICITING IDEAS for being AWESOME in the eyes of grandkiddos ages 4-7 and 11-16 (mostly girls? ??
"There is no unbelief: Whoever plants a seed beneath the sod and waits to see it push away the clod, he trusts in God." (Kate Douglas Wiggin) |
| 13 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| Breezy Blodgett |
Posted - Jan 06 2013 : 08:34:11 AM
That's great Madelena. I hope you're able to find the time in their busy schedules. Even the time spent at their activities will be appreciated, now and even more later! |
| Madelena |
Posted - Jan 04 2013 : 04:51:08 AM
Breezy
That was a Perfect Suggestion !
So much of the time my kids are "going"... and I actually have to call for an "appointment time" to visit.. (How come days seem so much shorter now, and there was so much time when my kid were kids?)
Most of my "together" time consists of watching ball games, cheerleading, family celebrations. I guess I am going to have to schedule some more movie time and shopping time with them. It's so much easier for the in town family, a little more challenging for the out of towners.
I will definitely work on your suggestion to FIND the time, Make the time, or share time as much as I can this year!
Thanks
MJ
"There is no unbelief: Whoever plants a seed beneath the sod and waits to see it push away the clod, he trusts in God." (Kate Douglas Wiggin) |
| Breezy Blodgett |
Posted - Jan 03 2013 : 10:33:53 PM
The best thing any of my grandparents ever gave me was their time. Now with children of my own, my parents ask me for gift ideas for birthdays and holidays. My answer is always, "your time" do something with them, or do nothing with them, just be with them. It's easier said than done, since I work I hate to spend any additional time away from my kids so I never really ask them to babysit or want to give in to being apart but I know they love time with their grandparents. My parents really believe in a giving something, especially since my kids are young, and it's fun to watch them open a gift and get excited. However, my suggestion of "your time" will never change. The kids won't remember the majority of the toys, clothing, etc. given to them by anyone. They're going to remember time, activites, hugs, laughter, comforted tears, and unconditional love. Same thing I remember and most appreciate about my grandparents! |
| kristin sherrill |
Posted - Jan 02 2013 : 10:01:53 AM
One of my rules is, if it's on the floor and I am sweeping, it goes in the trash. Even clothes. And no eating in the living room or upstairs. Or drinking. I don't have a lot of rules, just rules that are basically common sense. Still, some people don't get it.
Kris
Happiness is simple.
www.kris-outbackfarm.blogspot.com |
| Madelena |
Posted - Jan 01 2013 : 11:16:23 AM
Aw Kris,
Seems we are caught up in the cultural and economic issues of the times. The number of grandparents either raising their grandchildren or opening their home to the kids is growing in numbers. And of course, at a time when we have limited incomes and sometimes limiting health issues. What a challenge for so many sweet people.
Do not feel frustrated or "the heavy" for enforcing your own rules in your home. Keep rules simple, let them know why the rule is important, and what the results will be if it is not followed.
I had a small daycare center that I ran alone when I was younger. 12 preschool kiddos all day and 5 afterschool siblings. I advised many a parent on different issues. Having good rules THAT ARE ENFORCED is #1. It is healthy for the kids to have consistency in their life.. and it helps the adults survive LOL !
REAL EXAMPLE from my own home: I ESTABLISHED A NEW HOUSEHOLD RULE
THE RULE .. "Mom washes all clothes that are in the hamper each Saturday." Each person was given a new hamper. This included the ALL adults in the household.
[I was tired of crawling on the floor and under beds to find dirty clothes. Yuck !]
THE RESULTS EXPLAINED IF RULE IS NOT FOLLOWED: "If the clothes are not in the hampers, they will not be washed", I said.
WHAT HAPPENED: Big Johnnie threw his clothes on the floor next to the hamper, as he always had in the past. On Saturday I ONLY washed the clothes that everyone put in their hampers..
MY BEHAVIOR DEMONSTATED I WAS COMMITTED TO FOLLOWING HOUSEHOLD RULES,
THE PROBLEM. Johnnie could not find clean clothes in his closet when he was getting ready go to his job. He asked me if I did the laundry. I replied "I washed all the clothes that were in the hampers." (The Rule restated)
Johnnie then sees the pile of his clothes on the floor. He picked up the least dirty, smoothed it out, and wore it to work. He didn't say a word. He knew the rule.
THE RESULTS: All clothes were in the hampers from then on. Not a further word was needed.
I won't say every rule went as smoothly as this one, but I got more and more creative so that the person's actions resulted in their own reward or negative consequences. Then I didn't have to yell or fuss. We were all a happier, more peaceful family.
Soo, dear friend.. hang in there. You're right, God made "young" mothers to chase after young children. We should rocking, knitting and petting our cats as grannies. Or working on our MJF badges !
"There is no unbelief: Whoever plants a seed beneath the sod and waits to see it push away the clod, he trusts in God." (Kate Douglas Wiggin) |
| kristin sherrill |
Posted - Dec 30 2012 : 09:15:37 AM
Well, my oldest daughter and her youngest daughter live here with me right now. It's hard to be an "awesome" mimi when I have to be the "mean" one and make her do what she is supposed to do. Then the other 2 g'daughters come every other weekend. I feel like I have to entertain them and run them around. I'm too old to be awesome! In my mind, I would love for them to have their own home and I go visit them and go home or they come visit me and go home. That would be wonderful. I know, I sound like a bitter old lady. But this is how it is. And this is why we are supposed to have kids when we are young!
Kris
Happiness is simple.
www.kris-outbackfarm.blogspot.com |
| Madelena |
Posted - Dec 30 2012 : 08:47:51 AM
I understand Melina.. In addition to my g-dtrs paternal grandma just being a loving supporting person .. she also buys the son's grand kids things like cowboy boots, $1000 toward their Jr Livestock pig, etc etc.
I must say though, the g-kiddos appreciate everything they received, no matter what the cost (THEY ARE AWESOME KIDDOS !!) And the parents taught them well.
Madonna had it right, it is a Material World.. and the kids are all drawn into the ads for every gadget out there. It's just up to the parents and grandparents to teach them that there are things in this world that are Priceless - and $$ can't buy them.
Get them videos and books that point to the important things in life. Make sure that they have 21st Century kid appeal. I just read an AWESOME BOOK.. cried and cried.. but I love critters !
It was "A Dog's Purpose" by W. Bruce Cameron. It was told by the dog as he learned what his true purpose in life was and what was really important. Would make a great movie for TV.
Love to all you farm sisters
MJ
"There is no unbelief: Whoever plants a seed beneath the sod and waits to see it push away the clod, he trusts in God." (Kate Douglas Wiggin) |
| Ninibini |
Posted - Dec 29 2012 : 2:47:01 PM
That's awful, Melina - I'm so sorry to hear that! It shouldn't be that way, at all. You deserve so much better as a Grandma, and hopefully someday they will learn to love and appreciate you for the wonderful Grandma you truly are! Hugs - Nini
Farmgirl Sister #1974
God gave us two hands... one to help ourselves, and one to help others!
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| Melina |
Posted - Dec 29 2012 : 12:34:41 PM
I hate to say it, but for me to be any awsome grandma, I'd have to spend a ton of money on them. That's the difference around here. We live a modest lifestyle and the other grandma throws money at them. Works, too.
Sorry if I sound bitter, but it sucks sometimes.
The morning breeze has secrets to tell you. Do not go back to sleep.
Rumi |
| Madelena |
Posted - Dec 29 2012 : 02:47:21 AM
Thank You.. Berte, Lora, and Nini !!
I can see why you would all make AWESOME grandmas yourselves. You all have so much love in your hearts. I feel so blessed to have such wonderful Farm Sisters.
When I see the junk on the news and then come "home" to the Farm.. I am so encouraged that the world is in good hands with our Farm Girl families.
Thank you so much for your sweet, kind words.
Mary Jane
"There is no unbelief: Whoever plants a seed beneath the sod and waits to see it push away the clod, he trusts in God." (Kate Douglas Wiggin) |
| Ninibini |
Posted - Dec 27 2012 : 1:20:30 PM
Oh, Mary Jane.. Bless your tender, loving heart!
I can't help but wonder if maybe she was only complimenting her other grandmother because she happened to be going to visit HER at that moment, and that she thinks you're just as awesome, and would've said the same about you if she had been going to visit with you instead. Maybe you're just taking her words the wrong way? I'm so sorry you're feeling badly; I can understand why that would hurt your feelings. I'm sure if your granddaughter knew how you are feeling about her post, she'd feel awful. I'm willing to bet you ARE an awesome Grandma, too! Anyone who cares so deeply as you do MUST be an awesome Grandma! :)
Like Lora, I was blessed to have had an awesome Grandma, and I can tell you what made her so awesome was that she made lots of time for us, always had kind, positive words to share, and never, ever, ever made us feel a bother. She would watch cartoons with us, do crafts, bake, play games... nothing was ever too tedious or boring or immature for her. She would delve right in and be with us on our level, and yet she encouraged us to grow. And she would always "make of us" as if we were the only people that mattered to her in the whole world. She was loving, warm, caring, selfless, patient, kind, considerate and generous of heart beyond measure. We always knew we were loved and we always knew she would be there for us no matter what. She prayed for us every single day, too - I always felt her "covering." We were blessed, truly. She was my best friend my whole life, and even though she is gone, I still "feel" her presence. Maybe it's just the memories of her are still so alive in my heart; maybe it's just the memory of her loving words of encouragement and gentle advice echoing through my mind at just the right moment; maybe it's just that I do so many things that she used to do; or maybe, just maybe, God has granted her special angel privileges to still be around and watch over me while we are separated by the shadowy veil. Whatever the case, she is always here with me; she's part of me, and always will be. I pray I can be as awesome of a Mom and Grandma as she. I'm sure - SURE - you are that same blessing to your granddaughter.
Grandma's are precious people, and special gifts from God. If you're feeling down because of your granddaughter's remarks, please try not to be. I'm sure she had no idea her post would make you feel that way. For that matter, I'm sure she didn't even think about you reading it. Most of the time kids don't think about things like that, you know? I don't think she would have purposely been insensitive to your feelings. She was just happy to be going to see her Grandma, that's all. I'm sure she knows she is very, very blessed to have TWO awesome Grandma's - it's not meant to be a competition, nor should it be. Each Grandma brings wonderful gifts of love into their grandchildren's lives. I'm sure when you have time to spend some quality time with her, you'll see that truth in her sparkling eyes, or when you speak over the phone, you'll hear it in her laughter and the enthusiasm in her voice.
Please be kind to yourself in all of this, dear sister. Even if you think you may have missed the mark thus far (though I honestly find hard to believe that you have), there is still plenty of time to cultivate a deeper relationship with your grandchildren... And I can tell from your words you will definitely do it!
Hugs,
Nini
Farmgirl Sister #1974
God gave us two hands... one to help ourselves, and one to help others!
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| FARMALLChick |
Posted - Dec 27 2012 : 12:33:30 PM
Maybe ask her what makes the other grandma awesome. My grandma was an awesome grandma (she passed when I was 9). She taught me how to garden, needlepoint, sew on a Singer Featherweight, how to braid, how to cook and how to listen. I miss her terribly! Best wishes. I hope to hear that you've become an awesome grandma!!!!!
Lora
"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway" -John Wayne
www.CountryFriedAcres.etsy.com
www.farmallchick.blogspot.com
www.farmallchickphotos.blogspot.com |
| txfarmgirl |
Posted - Dec 26 2012 : 06:09:08 AM
Something we can do as parents and grandparents: Take time and be there for them. Listen to them and then keep it in confidence. Let them know they are significant.
Berte |
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