| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| KatyDid |
Posted - Sep 10 2012 : 1:59:57 PM
Hi Ladies,
I was hoping you might be able to share your tips on managing your money at home. My husband and I each have personal checking and savings accounts, but we also have joint checking and savings accounts. This is a totally foreign concept to my parents, who both manage money well and have never had to have personal accounts, but I have heard from various money experts on TV and online that women should have their own private accounts that their husbands cannot access. That way, in case anything should happen to the relationship, the woman is not obligated to rely on her husband for money, and she will have her own stash to fall back on. I think it's sound advice, but am struggling with exactly how much to set aside, and figuring out a system for that. (Not that anything will be happening with our relationship, but I think it's sound advice!)
My husband is the "spender." He loves to buy things and fix them up, and is occasionally guilty of purchasing "large ticket" items without talking to me first. I am the "saver." If it were up to me, I'd save every penny I earn and have no fun! I constantly stress about having enough in our savings. So I like to think he loosens me up a bit, and I get him to try and think about his purchases better. He is currently managing our bills, and does not miss payments. However, we don't seem to have as much money in our account as we need, and we'd like to be able to actually save money for our rainy day fund, as well as some occasional fun things or purchases. I'd also like to take some graduate classes, which will require more money.
A few months back, my husband and I agreed that I would put $50 from each paycheck away in my personal savings. He is unable to not withdraw from our joint savings account, so we figured the money would be safest there. But everything else we make goes in our joint checking for bills and anything else we pay for. I feel like I need a little more structure here!
So what is your system? I would love to hear your recommendations!
Farmgirl Sister #4527
You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.
- Mae West |
| 12 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| KatyDid |
Posted - Dec 28 2012 : 09:07:36 AM
Mary, that was definitely my tactic when I lived alone! Works pretty darn well, too. Anything extra that I got for birthdays, Christmas, etc. I used as spending money or saving money. My regular paycheck went strictly to my monthly bills (at the end of each month I always allowed for a $200 "buffer" to stay in my checking, and any extra went to my credit card). Now that I am married, my husband tries to justify his crazy spending by telling me "it's extra money I made," but I find it hard figuring out what exactly is extra money when he is self-employed and making variable amounts of money each month. Especially because we have a joint checking account and are paying bills jointly, we are trying not to think of money as "mine and yours," because it all goes into the same place and should be thought of as "ours." But for me, it's hard to do that when I see him spending our money left and right on things that really are just things for his business! Don't get me wrong, I want to help him (and have him help me!) with bills. And when he makes money off of things he buys, yes, that benefits both of us. But I don't want to feel like there is none left for me. So maybe there is a way to either figure out what we can call "extra," or just split up our finances entirely and pay into a joint account for regular bills. Sigh...money is so annoying, isn't it???
Farmgirl Sister #4527
You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.
- Mae West |
| Carolina Farm Girl |
Posted - Dec 27 2012 : 2:03:03 PM
We are desperately trying to pay off debt. This month, we started a new arrangement for paying our bills. Everything we earn from our regular jobs goes into a joint account to pay bills, save, etc. The only spending money we will get is whatever we earn outside of our regular jobs. It may come from ebay, yard sales, craigs list, or other odd jobs we pick up. This will definitely be an adventure.
--------------------
Mary Ellen |
| KatyDid |
Posted - Oct 01 2012 : 08:24:59 AM
Ooh, thanks, Judy!  That sounds like a good website to try. My husband currently tracks bills in a spreadsheet, but we don't really have any projections to speak of! My husband has a smartphone, and maybe their app would be something he could use.
Farmgirl Sister #4527
You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.
- Mae West |
| Farmer Judy |
Posted - Sep 29 2012 : 8:17:46 PM
Kate,Check out the website ww.mvelopes.com. They do have a free membership with a few things limited that I have not missed at all. Your money information comes in from your bank and you "virtually" put it into envelopes. You can budget before the beginning of the month and manage your bills during the month and see where you are at after the month. Mvelopes also has a phone app if you have that kind of a phone. There are a few other websites that do the same thing. My suggestion to you is to find what local church has Financial Peace University classes going on and sign up. They will teach you biblical principles of how the bible says to handle money. It will also hit on the difference between how men and women view money. I am currently taking the class but have read the Dave Ramsey books in the last year or two. Good Luck.
God bless,
Judy
Farmgirl #3666
Born a city girl but a farm girl at heart!
http://farmtimes.blogspot.com/ |
| KatyDid |
Posted - Sep 27 2012 : 12:42:13 PM
Aha! So, Erin, that is what we are doing now - the majority of my paycheck goes to our joint checking, with a smaller portion being automatically split off for our savings. But the difference is, you are giving yourself the debit card for your personal account, and not for the account that most of the money goes into. I think that would be a good idea for us to put away our joint checking account debit cards, and only use our personal cards.
I'm going to have to go over all this with Eric when we get some time together, maybe this weekend, and see what he is interested in doing. I did some calculating using our bank statements, and have figured out our average monthly income, so maybe we can make some estimates and an initial budget based on that. Thank you so much for your suggestions!
Farmgirl Sister #4527
You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.
- Mae West |
| MtnGrlByTheBay |
Posted - Sep 27 2012 : 12:21:27 PM
Another thought would be to have a JOINT Checking account, but then work it so you'd have some automatic deposits made into it from your own individual checking and/or savings accounts. Many bills can be made automatically now directly through your bank.
For example, I have two checking accounts. One, my main one, I have a debit card for, and use to make most of my day to day purchases. However, the SECOND one I do not allow myself to have a debit card for. A portion of my paycheck gets split (not all companies allow for this, but you can ask) out to each of my two checking accounts. The larger portion goes into my second account. Then my mortgage and vehicle payment comes out of that second account. I never really notice it. It's like money I don't even really have.
It does take two paycheck deposits to go into that second "bill account," so I have to make sure my payments are timed out well (and I have to check this periodically because calendars change) so that the auto pay isn't late. Fortunately, I get paid every two weeks, so it works. It took some calculating and a few phone calls to make it work, but once it did... it's the best thing I've ever done financially.
^^^I'm a RidgeRunner, and will always feel best when surrounded by the PA mountains.^^^
www.lastlapgang.com |
| KatyDid |
Posted - Sep 24 2012 : 10:40:01 AM
Thanks, Judy!
I hope the envelope system works well for you and your husband. I have heard of it, and liked the idea, so at one point I tried to do that with just my grocery money (with the goal of "if I save some grocery money over the course of the month, that will be my "extra spending" money"). I was able to stick to it most weeks, but I think I should have given myself some more padding! Mainly because some weeks it's necessary to stock up on basics that you don't purchase every week (laundry detergent or TP, for instance) and those things would put me over my allotted amount. So I had trouble using just that week's envelope of money! And then of course, like you said, you must borrow from other envelopes if you need to dip into something, and once it's gone, it's gone! So it didn't work so well for us for food, but for discretionary purchases like you are hoping to control, I think it would be a much better fit. And some people respond well to the physical money being changed and borrowed, rather than using a card. Easier to track that way.
I think my husband and I will try to do the equivalent of what you are doing with the envelopes, except we'll still plan to use our debit cards. We'll need to make sure to section off a certain amount at the end of the month for personal use (transferring that to our personal debit cards), and then everything else we make the next month will go into our joint checking for regular bills only. If by some lucky chance we have a buildup of money in our personal accounts, we can transfer it wherever we'd like or use it to pay extra towards our credit cards. I hope we're on the right track!
Farmgirl Sister #4527
You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.
- Mae West |
| Farmer Judy |
Posted - Sep 21 2012 : 9:50:14 PM
Over the years we have tried many ways of handling money and the fact is we are both spenders and neither of us are savers. We currently have no savings. I have followed Dave Ramsey for years and have finally been able to sign us up for his course. He uses a envelope system which you make a busget at the end of the month for the next month and anything that would be paid for electronically online or by check (in the mail) stays in the checking account. You budget the savings and giving to the church at the beginning of the budget. The balance you cash out and put into envelopes. You can keep a running total of what is in the envelope by writting on it. When the envelope is empty you are done spending for that category, or you can move cash from another envelope that you may not have completely spent. when the money is all gone it should be the begging of the next month. It will be hard to do this as we get a lot of little things all the time. but I made a envelope budget wallet for myself so I am ready. We only use one checking and one savings. We have both been married before and we made a committment that we are giving this are all and that is part of the picture. We have been married 20 years in December so it is working good so far. Hope this helps you
God bless,
Judy
Farmgirl #3666
Born a city girl but a farm girl at heart!
http://farmtimes.blogspot.com/ |
| KatyDid |
Posted - Sep 21 2012 : 06:21:47 AM
Hi Madelena, thanks for sharing your system!
So it sounds as though you each are responsible for particular household bills, like Erin and her husband are. But then also take care of your own credit card bills.
How do you decide what proportion goes into your joint accounts, and which proportion goes into your personal accounts? That is what I can't wrap my head around...on one hand, my parents would argue "why bother to split it into separate accounts, because the money is going to be spent from your joint checking, whether you spend it right from there or transfer it to personal first." But on the other hand, moving it to a personal account does ensure that the same amount is being "protected" (in my case anyway) on a regular basis, and not disappearing from checking after being spent on random things. (As an example of that, DH just spent $1k this week, on a planer, without consulting me, which really burns me up!  So he'd better start making money with it soon.) I think what we really need is a financial counselor, but I am not sure what resources are out there.
Farmgirl Sister #4527
You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.
- Mae West |
| Madelena |
Posted - Sep 20 2012 : 4:22:49 PM
Hi this is our way of managing. -- We are both retired. We have a modest retirement check and I get some social security. Hubby does not.
We have two checking and two savings accounts. They are both joint, but we manage our own check/savings accounts separately.
DH money goes to pay the utilities, car payments - if any, gasoline, and his medical bills. his credit cards and 1/2 the food. He also pays for our vacations/camping trips or major hh repairs. DH IS THE GOOD MONEY MANAGER.
My money goes to pay the other 1/2 of food, cat/dog needs, some gas, all insurances, my life ins., a mission child, hh alarm, my credit cards. and household items and hhold stuff. I also am a crafter and buy lots of "stuff". I over spend and am now in an austerity campaign to drop extraneous expenses and "puppy up" and get my charges back down to $0. (I also put 1/4 of my net in savings each month)
My hubby doesn't spend on any toys. If he does it is a major purchase occasionally that we talk about ( a good quality recumpenant bike due to health issues). When his checking builds up a balance it is dumped into his savings. (which is really all ours)
The plan will never make us rich, but it works for us. We never question the other on what we spend. We figure life is short and money is meant to be a means to enjoying life. My daughter's philosophy is "you live to you die". Our is to enjoy the life we have and put a little aside for those "what ifs".
"There is no unbelief: Whoever plants a seed beneath the sod and waits to see it push away the clod, he trusts in God." (Kate Douglas Wiggin) |
| KatyDid |
Posted - Sep 18 2012 : 1:35:37 PM
Interesting, Erin! I have read about people keeping separate accounts and not even getting into the whole "joint account" thing. I have thought about the percentage method as well, although as with any joint financial decisions, I would need to get Eric's "buy-in" on that! It makes a lot of sense, though: both individuals can contribute equally to the bills, even though their incomes may be different. That may be best for us.
Eric does not receive a regular paycheck (while I get paid weekly), and works assorted jobs, so he may receive nothing one week, or a couple hundred or a few thousand dollars another week! This makes it difficult for us to really do any "planning ahead" or budgeting, because we never know what we will have going for us month to month. But I think the way it is working now, my paycheck (although probably smaller than what he might be receiving during the month) keeps us afloat for weekly expenses, and a good portion of the mortgage, and his paychecks help us pay off our debts and other bills when he gets them (but don't tell him I said that, because I think he would beg to differ!).
When I was living in my own apartment, I had a great system for myself, and did just fine on my own. But now that we are managing household bills and helping to pay off each of our individual debts, that system won't work because it was too simple!  Anyway, that's wonderful that you found a system that works well for you! I really appreciate your sharing your money management methods
Farmgirl Sister #4527
You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.
- Mae West |
| MtnGrlByTheBay |
Posted - Sep 18 2012 : 12:27:50 PM
My DH and I do not have any shared accounts. We were together for nearly 5 years before getting married, and on our honeymoon I said, "Well, should we get a joint checking account now?" We both laughed and said, "If it ain't broke, why fix it?" Been that way for 10 years.
People are just astounded that we manage our financial life this way. Some people even think it goes against our marriage vows!?!
We have two "rules" that make it work...
1- We made a list of all our expenses (mortgage, vehicle, electric, health insurance etc) and divided it up nearly 50-50. We both make about the same income, so it was easy, but if it wasn't the case, it should be divided by percent - more or less. I pay for the mortgage (house is in both our names) and the newest vehicle (we only pay for one at a time) and a couple other small bills. He pays for many of the utilities, the child care and most of the groceries and general fun spending. We get paid on alternate weeks so that helps too. Sometimes he runs a bit short, and I cover groceries or a medical bill. Other times it's the reverse. He might cover school clothes or the fee for an activity for our kids.
Savings: We have one savings account and it's in my name. We usually put our joint tax refund in there, and save it for a vacation. If we have to dip into it for an emergency, it's a joint discussion.
2- The "$100 Rule." We actually got this idea from a friend. Neither of us can make an extra purchase of over $100 without consulting each other. This isn't hard and fast, but for the most part, it's a way we keep things balanced, yet still allows for us to make fun purchases for ourselves.
We've done this for so long that there's usually a mental balance. It requires a big amount of respect, and we try not to go "tit for tat," meaning that just because he makes a big purchase, doesn't mean I can... at least not in the same month. We rarely fight about money. We don't have a lot in savings, and I can say we have our share of debt. I can't say we are good with money, but do have some retirement plans in place through our companies. I'll also say that we are a 2 income family. I would have a hard time covering all the utility bills and the kids' insurance and groceries if we suddenly split up, so we DO rely on each other financially, but I don't have to constantly ask him for the checkbook to balance! We do our accounting totally differently, so as long as bills are paid, foods on the table, and we can have a bit of fun, that's all that matters.
^^^I'm a RidgeRunner, and will always feel best when surrounded by the PA mountains.^^^
www.lastlapgang.com |
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